Ofcourse

I think that this “Guilt trip” chinuch is really bad and turns many off. You could be Davening hundreds of Shmona Esreis and saying Sefer Tehillim hundreds of times, but if you smerked/snubbed the person not dressed as Tzniusdik as you, it might be worthless.

The older I get the more I see that Frumkeit isnt a black and white issue, measured strictly by the amount you Daven or learn. With increased life experience and maturity, thats hard to fathom.

Also Ive been taught that if people try to figure out the Cheshbonos of the One Above, Hashem tells them, come up here and Ill show you how limited your vision is…and brings them up.

This whole question is irrelevant, unless theres a successful family business on either side, in which case the guy can learn while the father or father in law pays…!!! The girl is looking for the money, not the time-sheet.

Otherwise, if there isnt a thriving family business to go into, and very few businesses are thriving these days, in today’s economy there are very few jobs available altogether, and the ones that are available, are menial labor and not the kind where you can support a family well. In most cases, if you work on the books, you lose out on govt programs. Theres a reason so many guys have chosen to stay in learning. Very few want to be car service drivers and theres very few jobs that are more desirable to guys who are used to learning as a full time career. Better jobs usually neccesitate long years of school, and the resulting salary is a long way off, with many years of struggling in the middle.