Ofcourse

Looks like not Heimishe people (I checked property records), but I hear the 45th & 13th Supermarket will have a location there.

BPG, you’ve seen them in Chynka too? Is that one of their specialties?

If anyone ever comes across them in a bakery or a recipe for similar, please post. Thanks.

mosherose, A modern “orthodox” person doesnt use a shadchan. They meet at parties and with friends.

NOT AT ALL!!! There are no hard and fast rules these days. If that was the case across the board for all Mod Orth Machmir singles, there wouldnt be a need for SYAS.

Many of the Modern Orthodox Machmir singles are of the No tv, No movies variety AND are not even willing to watch an occasional clean video, which surpasses lots of Lakewood guys in that department!!! They dont call themselves Yeshivish, because theyre the frummer segment in YU type schools, and are used to being called Orthodox, but they DEFINITELY DO NOT mix with opposite gender, except through a Shadchan. Yesh v’Yesh.

pba, I think you should send flowers if the shadchan is a female, and scotch if the shadchan is a male.

You should put a rag in the mouth of the scotch bottle and light it before throwing it through the window.

Lovely. I hope you’re joking, but its not especially funny.

Is that what you would do to reward your parents’ Shadchan for being a Shituf with Hashem in bringing you into the world?

I just located this on the SYAS website:

LAWS OF MATCHMAKING

Q. A common question that is asked to the SYAS office- What is the going rate that one should pay to a matchmaker if they successfully match you with your spouse (regardless if this is a friend, relative or volunteer matchmaker)? The current rate is approximately $1,000 – $2,000 (that includes both sides of the match). The actual amount though should be discussed between the singles and their Rabbi.

_________________________________________________________________

The amount to be paid to the shadchan is based on the customary fee in the area where the shiduch was made. Once the standard fee is agreed upon, the shadchan may not ask for additional compensation to cover special expenses that he may have incurred in arranging the shiduch.

Pischei Teshuvah E.H. 50:16. In many places today, there is no clear custom as to the amount a shadchan receives. If a dispute arises, a rav needs to be consulted.

Thanks, mom12!

Ok Ill try again, with as simple words as possible.

When a Shadchan introduces a Modern Orthodox Machmir couple to one another, and the Shidduch materializes through this Shadchan, what does the Shadchan normally get as Shadchanus from both sides together?

Whats the NORM? AVERAGE?

Is it Zilch, $100, $500, $1,000, $1500, $2,000, $5,000, or more (capiche?)?

Yes like YU crowd (in cases where the couple meets through a Shadchan).

WM, What do you mean by “range?”

range- definition: A range is usually specified by its maximum and minimum value. Any number that is between these two values is said to be within the range.

Not to get technical, I’m asking what the average might be (the midpoint between the low-norm and the high-norm.

pba, Most guys don’t have such a list.

Im not sure about that! For sure they havent written one, but with so many single guys out there 27 and beyond, who have dated and rejected many of the 100+ girls they dated (even if they rejected about half, it would be about 50 girls), there have to be some common factors among those rejected, other than looks.

ZeesKite, To denigrate one variant over the other shows lack of appreciation of the Ribono Shel Olam.

Nice thought! I dont think anyone here bashed anyone, they’re merely stating what makes them, specifically, lose interest in a dating partner. In effect, any single who rejects, isnt saying the person they’re rejecting is a bad person, they just dont meet their needs or idea of what their life partner should be like.

The reason for this post is the fact that I get asked by people what might be going wrong on their dates, thinking they’re unaware of something they’re doing wrong…. By getting some answers here, I might get some clarity on that. Very much l’Toeles.

Not too many guys commenting.

Is it that:

1- there are many more girls in Shidduchim in the CR than guys, or

2- the guys are less opinionated or fussy (I doubt that)

3- is there nothing that makes them lose interest other than looks?

smartcoookie Ofcourse- you aint gotta be too brilliant to figure that out. Nobody can be helped if they don’t want to help themselves.

Yeah, but I think that there are very unique individuals who can very ~skillfully~ convince troubled people that there’s value in changing, even when they’ve given up hope and are very stubborn about not changing, without the person realizing that they’re being “worked on”. If it was all self-help, we wouldnt need Rovs, Rebbis, Teachers, Principals, Kiruv Persons, Therapists, Life Coaches, etc. I think some people have a special talent to bring about change in even the most stubborn cases. What Im asking is what these unique people do.

Everyone starts by being a good listener, the especially skillful ones employ special tactics in adition to being that, I think.

aries, so you feel people have to realize they have a problem and commit to change, otherwise it’s a no-go, is that right?

If yes, seems like you’re in agreement with the Psychatrist I heard on the radio (famous Psychiatrist, Keith Ablow, who wrote a book with Glenn Beck, Seven Wonders) who seemed very smart.

600kilobear returns, no need for a name, but can you share what the person did that made them effective?

tbt you’ll have one poster (varying screen names sometimes) start 10 or more threads, all on the same wavelength.

I thought Mods can figure out the people with many screen names, and put an end to that.

Its on now.

He’s saying how a Torah life today is different than that of years ago. Many in today’s generation need instant gratification, live with too much technology, and have a serious lack of Midos while being learned in Torah. It’s a contradiction.

rb, ofcourse – So I guess it wasn’t so bad if you didn’t ask.

Suuuuuuuuerre. Let’s not be Oiber Chachumim here.

Like any pregnant woman or the company she’s with, can predict what can and cant bring on labor…Gimme a break!

ZeesKite, you really do? Aww, thanks!

oomis1105, absolutely! May you be a catalyst for Simcha til 120!

apy, if you have a wife (if you’re male) does she agree with your opinion on this matter?

“I would have sat down on the floor”

I hope your family would come looking for you afterwards because no way you would be able to get up by yourself. And you definitely can’t count on all the women around you to help !

Health, I cant take it! Im ROFL! Im gagging! I havent laughed so hard in months!!! Help!

apushatayid, are vomiting or attending to the needs of a small child, typical things that make young women late, not valid enough excuses? How on time are you when you have a stomach virus?

aries2756, yes, that might have been the case, even if I had come earlier. Although I remember many people arriving at the same time. Possibly I didnt push ahead of others, in my condition, to grab a seat.

Uh Oh, what have I started here?

ItcheSrulik, thanks, at least some men understand.

commonsense,

i probably would not have noticed you unless you were standing right on top of me

You dont even look up by Haman?

ZeesKite,

I most definitely think you should go back, especially if you’re in the same condition!

Same condition? Please clarify.

Understand,

My mother stands for the reading of the megilah

Ive never seen anyone but the Bal Koreh stand. Interesting thought.

aries,

the kids who were then seated will probably be the preggers this time around.

Yup, I was thinking the same (but prob in Lakewood, with everyone else’s kids).