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AYC: Thank you. You always find something niceto say. I respect you for that.
Going to Niagra Falls with some friends. Can’t wait! Gumball, you want to come along?
laugh with me: Wow. How sad and beautifully written. May your son have a refuah shleima b’karov.
I needed a break from erev yom tov cooking, so I wrote this poem.
I mean…
When I say,
“I don’t care!”
I really want to say,
“It’s too much to bear.”
When I say,
“Sure, anytime!”
I really want to say,
“Please decline!”
When I say,
“I feel like a nuissance!”
I really want to say,
“I need some reassurance.”
When I say,
“I’m so MAD!”
I really want to say,
“My day’s been bad.”
When I say,
“Just go away!”
I really want to say,
“Please stay!”
Sometimes, the truth’s too bold,
Sometimes, the truth can’t be told.
Sometimes, I can’t speak my mind…
But can you please be so kind?
Read the lines I really want to say
And hear my words, the opposite way!
blabla: Glad you got hold of a rav you feel comfortable with. How are you doing in general? Missing you at the poetry thread!
My fast was ok, besides for my headache and dizzy spells;)
AYC: I absolutely LOVE to cook and bake. The preparation and all. And yes, I’ve been busy in the kitchen to answer you before! I enjoy working hard, and see others enjoying what I produced. The feeling in itself is rewarding!
MP: how inspiring. Thanks for sharing!
I definitely will! I really will try my best, but in case I don’t manage please forgive me. Thank you!
Baruch Hashem, I don’t suffer from diabetes. But this thread has made me realize how grateful I should be to Hashem and helped me count my blessings. Wishing you all an easy fast.
Princess: Sorry, I’m not sure I’ll be able to do it (since I forgot the contents and will have to go back to check), although I’ll really try my best:(.
Gut yom tov and gmar chasima tova!
aries: Wow. Brilliantly put. But sometimes, it’s so hard to actually do it in practice. I am currently struggling with trying to push someone out of my mind. At times I’m successful, and sometimes… I just keep on thinking about her, what she thinks about me, how she’s doing, is she badmouthing me? It’s so hard to get out of that whirlwind of thoughts. I know it’s my choice. And in this case I chose to forget…But it’s not always easy. How do I just go on?
QB and MP: I agree. I would never be as strong and solid with my beliefs had I not “been around”.
BUT, I would suggest that one should do extensive research before going out with someone like that.
KTC: IMHO, if girls were hurt “physically” that’s a BIG red flag. Hatzlacha. May you find your bashert soon.
Miritchka: You’re right. What matters most is what you are inside. But one’s dresscode, hairstyle, etc. can often show what they are in the inside.
Princess: Couldn’t have said it better.
Blabla:Keep strong!! We’re all backing you!
Can’t wait to listen to it, MiddlePath (I don’t have sound on my computer, so it’ll have to wait till tomorrow when I go to work). I’m sure it’s great. I’ll let you know what I think 😉
blabla: That’s so sad. I truly hope things get better for you. btw, I now have a gmail acct on my username (hope the mods let it through).
Your poem on a heart of gold is beautiful. Who did you write it to?
blabla: How moving. Your poems are beautiful…and so sad. Hope things get better for you.
TY, gumball and amen to your wonderful brachos. Glad to make you happy:)
Climbing Mountains: Your poem is truly a masterpiece. Glad I read it before the mods delete it:)
Princess: Yeah, I liked that thread too. Maybe I’ll post some letters later tonight. And it definitely IS weird davening for people you’ve never met! I had you and all of klal yisroel in mind. Hope you did too!
OKAY. I’ll daven for you! And PLEASE let us know SOON! OMG, who’s the lucky girl?? (Okay, I know I’m not allowed to ask, but couldn’t resist)
Hatzlacha rabba, and may Hashem answer your tefillos!
AYC: I did read that thread. Which is why I had you in mind. Sorry, I didn’t respond, it’s just that I feel weird giving you chizuk in an area I’ve no ‘experience’ with.
blabla: Whoa. That’s awesome! Did you write it to someone you miss, or to AYC? Either way, it’s beautiful. I love the rhyming!
Yup. I really am. Besides, I’m not one to lie, especially right after Rosh Hashana.
Gumball: Of course I’ll do you a favor! I’m engaged.
Yossi: May I start dancing yet?:) I’m beginning to get VEERRY excited!
GumBall: Why, thank you. I’ve been pretty busy @ work. I visit the CR sometimes, but not nearly as much as I used to.
BTW, glad to have you back!
AYC: What a moving letter. Sorry, I have no experience with this (baruch Hashem), and I can’t really offer my advice to you. I just want to say that I had you in mind on Rosh Hashana, and hope and pray that moshiach should come and we should be zoche to see techias hameisim.
Maybe you can write her a letter. Just write it all out. It helps me a lot when I have a lot on my mind and I can’t say anything to that person. (When you’re done, post it on the ‘Unsent Letters’ thread;))
May Hashem grant you the kochos to overcome this challenge and continue being a source of chizuk to others in here.
Hatzlacha rabba.
Mazel Tov, dealz and postsemgirl! Welcome to the club!;)
I’ll get a CZ, but I was told before. I personally don’t care much for a diamond (I love nice jewlery but diamonds aren’t worth the price IMHO). I’d rather they save the money for something worthwhile, such as a couch etc. My sister lost her diamond earrings and diamond bracelet. She couldn’t sleep for nights! Finally, she exchanged her diamond ring for a cz and put the money in her savings account.
adorable: I don’t think you should get upset. As I said, I don’t care for diamonds, but I wouldn’t be UPSET if I’d get one. You may as well enjoy it!
I once had a real hard time forgiving someone who literally made my life miserable. I was a young teen, and somehow, she turned ALL of my friends against me, spread rumors like I had a breakdown r”l etc. When I thought I really forgave her, somehow, the pain always came back.
Fortunately, two years later, one of my friends realized that I still bore a grudge on her, and let her know about it. She asked for mechilla and I was mochel her. (that in itself made me be her mochel to see that she realized she’d done something wrong). We are currently best friends!
AYC, I really admire you for forgiving them. I do think however, that until the guilty party ASKS for mechilla, it’s very hard to forgive. Maybe you can ask someone to let them know that you feel hurt. Would that work?
Hatzlacha rabba and a gut yahr.
Thank you am yisroel chai!
I’d like to ask mechilla of anyone and everyone I possibly hurt, or made feel inferior, uncomfortable, embarrassed or unwelcomed. I beg you from the bottom of my heart, please be mochel me. And of course, there’s no need to ask me for mechilla. I don’t remember anyone ever hurting me, and in case anybody did, I am mochel.
May we all be zoche to have a wonderful sweet year, and may we all merit to see the coming of moshiach.
A Gut gebentsht yar, to all.
I too, struggle with jealousy and I’d love to hear advice. sapphire: There’s a thread called “Jealousy” in here, I think you should check it out. Perhaps you can make a search. (Sorry, I don’t know how to put up a reference.)
I couldn’t agree more, ClimbingMountains.
blabla: that poem to your therapist is beautiful. Your other poem is…sad. Oh, so sad! You can’t imagine how much it hurt me to read it. What should I say? What CAN I say to make you feel better, stronger, empowered? I want you to know, that although I’ve no clue who you are, I feel your pain and think of you quite often. What hurt me most was to read that you don’t keep shabbos.
Why is that? Do you have questions? Please ask them! There are answers to EVERYTHING. I know, because I had them too, and they were answered. Hatzlacha rabba.
Not sure how I did that, but I’m glad to hear! Have a wonderful shabbos!
blabla: why’s rosh hashana a hard time for you? Think of it as an oppurtunity to ask for a new happy year. Good luck!
PrincessEagle: I don’t work on Friday’s, so Good Shabbos!
Did you ever do research? Did you get answers to your questions? I know exactly how you feel, been there done that.
syag: May hashem grant you the kochos to overcome this difficult challenge. I’m amazed at your and your husband’s courage. Donating most of one’s liver is a great thing.
I don’t think I’ll ever donate my kidney or liver, but I truly respect those who can do it.
holykugel: If you have the approval of your rav and family and feel ready and willing to donate – kol hakovod to you. Hatzlacha rabba.
puppy: Why don’t you do some research?
MiddlePath: I understand your frustration. Simple: I (and I think most or everyone on here)have also felt the way you feel. We all come from different backrounds (chassidish, litvish, yeshivish, MO, conservative etc.) and we don’t agree with everything everybody says.
Nevertheless, I think everyone would put their life on the line to help their fellow Jew. Whether MO, chassidish, yeshivish or even frei. And THAT is what’s so amazing. We are One. We have One Father, One Torah, and we as Yidden are One People.
I think you’re a great asset to the CR and people gain from you. You are a great source of chizuk to all of us. It’d be a great loss to us if you’d leave. Hope you stay.
Hatzlacha in whatever you do.
Princess, no. I didn’t get the chance to create a gmail acct. Probably will do tomorrow. Talk to you then…:)
Middle: Your poem moved me. I’d love to hear the song…
Thanks feif. Mmmm…I don’t think I’ll take your advice though, being that I’m still a kallah and I want to make a good impression.
Have YOU ever tried doing it to your wife?:P
Do you excercise? Excercising helps me a lot. Even now, when I’m a bit anxious about something, I do some excercise (I jump on the trampoline – usually for 1/2 hr, somtimes 1 hr). It should also help you with your stomach aches.
Sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you. I’m glad you’re working on it. Have you asked your therapist what you can do to get rid of the nausea?
Welcome Binah! We really missed you. Wish you were back for good.
Okay feif, now’s my turn.(thanks for the laughs so far)
What do I do with a future MIL who seems to be very nice, but since she’s from E”Y (she currently lives in the US but hasn’t got rid of her “Israeli personality”) hasn’t a clue as to how she’s supposed to treat her future DIL (she really is caring and truly has good intentions)?
Of course I had stomach aches (which was my excuse not to eat). They were so often and so bad, I checked it out by the doctor. I actually did have a tiny cut in one of my intestines (I think) and took medication for it. Interestingly enough, when my anxiety was gone, so were the stomach aches. Stomach aches are a real sign of anxiety.
Now, I’m not trying to be preachy or anything, but your sitting and waiting for some miracle to happen is not productive. Why don’t you order the CDs? Or go to your therapist? Or talk to a friend? Why don’t you do something to stop all this?
Shprintze: The “Where-in-the-torah-does-it-say” attitude will get you nowhere. Did you expect the Torah to list every detail of untznius clothing? Do you want a malach to come and tell you exactly WHY you can’t wear pants, sleeveless dresses etc.?
IMHO, tznius is a sensitivity and a maturity. It’s when you understand what we’re doing to the men and bochrim out there.
I wish I were at that point. In the meanwhile, I’m working hard to get there.
Hatzlacha rabba.
Whoa. This is a tough one. It’s terribly painful to see one’s parents acting in a wrong way. And it’s even more painful when they’re doing it against your sister.
First of all, our home is also Torahdik. My mother’s working and my father is still in kollel. My brothers and brothers in law are all learning (although they’re still in their 20’s). And I fervently pray and hope that my husband will learn, too. BUT, I can’t put him into a cookie cutter. What if I simply can’t go out and work? What if he WANTS to work? Honestly, I don’t know how I’d react to that. It would be terribly difficult for me as my lifelong dream was to marry a ben Torah. Nevertheless, if he’s a good spouse who’s treating me well, I’d have to allow him to work. An aiyshes chayil is supposed to support her husband’s decisions (unless it’s against the Torah). Also, it’s the husband’s responsibility to bring parnassa. If the wife’s willing to take it upon herself – ashrecha. But it’s no mitzva to overwork and be on the verge of breaking down r”l while your husband’s learning. Perhaps this was the case with your sister.
I’d suggest that you have a talk with your parents (or one parent whichever one you feel close to). Tell them how torn you and your sister feel. Try pointing out that your brother in law’s really a nice guy who seemingly treats your sister well, and how happy your sister seems to be with him.
My aunt married a great talmid chacham. Who also happened to be an abuser. How’s that for a spouse? Learning isn’t EVERYTHING. Ask them if they’d rather have a SIL who learns but is abusive or one with fine middos who works. Also, talk or write to your sister. She probably feels so lost and alone. Her husband wants one thing while her family rejects her because she’s supporting him. Just tell her that you love her, regardless of anything. You don’t have to feel it – just say it. Save the relationship while there’s still a chance.
Hatzlacha rabba.