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“There are opinions that say Shepsel, Shabsi, Sheftel… all deal with names for Sheep.”
Makes no sense. ???? – sheep?! It’s a common sephardi name, I think, and also the Hebrew name of Saturn (????? – Saturday).
Buyer’s remorse. My relative who married off 14 kids had it after every single shidduch. Solution: Emunah and Bitachon.
Perhaps the first Shirah was named by a Zionist in honor of the State of Israel or the Balfour Declaration etc., and/or it was popularized by Zionist elements.
Haleivi:
Faivel is from Fabian, which means Light (I think in Latin). That’s why it goes with Shraga, which also means Light.
Wolf:
Dov is unique in being the name of a non-kosher animal not mentioned with the shvotim. Its evolution is as I explained. (sorry, I don’t remember the source.) In fact the vodislaver rav was careful to say at the bris of his son: ????? ??? ??? ???.
AH:
Hirsh, Hersh, Hirtz or Hertz (deer in German) originally go with Naftali, who is likened to a deer.
cherrybim: Shepsel is a nickname for shabsi, a name originally given to a boy born on Shabbos. Nothing to do with sheep.
Wolf: The name Ber, as in Yissochor Ber, has nothing to do with a bear. It’s in honor of the ?????? which reuven picked for his mother so she should conceive and she gave birth to Yissachar. In German-Yiddish this plant was called “berelach”, probably related to berries. Eventually Ber was separated from Yissochor (perhaps when there was a living grandparent named Yissochor). Its original meaning long forgotten, Dov was added to make it into a Hebrew name, so it would be proper for aliyah l’torah.
“That is probably what happened to you.”
Absolutely wrong. I won’t bother going into details since you never seem to get my point. I hope Rikki’s smart enough to ask Daas Torah and keep her distance while being there for her brother. Good Shabbos and Good Luck.
obnoxious: That was exactly it. When you’re very close to someone who’s suffering, you’re gonna try helping them, right? It’s nearly impossible for a teen to be close to an OTDer without getting affected. We don’t have the experience that is needed for kiruv. Nor do we have the experience to deal with emotional issues (which are in most cases the reason to go OTD). I don’t think I ever heard of a teenaged therapist that was successful…
I was indeed a VERY good friend. Too good. THAT was what ruined me. I didn’t drop her on my own. I asked a shaila and was told to drop her. I’m not a rav and can’t paskan for Riki, but, neither can you. Again, this is far more complex than you think – I’TS NOT MEANT FOR A HS GIRL. Going OTD needs PROFFESIONAL help AND Daas Torah. Besides, I didn’t say she should DROP her brother (which is impossible). She should be nice and set a good example of a frum girl, but it’s not she who should be dealing with him. She’s not in charge of his status in yiddishkeit.
Kid: nurse. Always loved caring of others especially babies!
Teen: Social Worker. I’d like to help out others with their emotional problems.
We’ll see what the future will bring…
RSRH: That was what I used to think. This is not about being selfish, though. It’s just that I came to realize that we’re too young and inexperienced to deal with such a complicated issue. ESPECIALLY if you’ve got some doubts yourself. Endangering your Yiddishkeit won’t exactly be of any help to anyone. Besides, it says somewhere (not exactly sure where) that your life comes first.
“if you choose to be mechalel shabbos I have to respect that but by the same token YOU know how important it is to me and the rest of the family…”
aries: Really? Is that something we’ve got to respect? “Hate the sin, not the sinner.” You’re supposed to respect others, but their wrong CHOICES??? In my book, chillul shabbos is a SIN. And I do NOT respect sins. If you respect chillul shabbos, how do you expect your kids to love shabbos? What sould keep THEM from going OTD???
I hope I didn’t offend you, but, I had someone who almost forced me being friends with a mechallel shabbos, because “she does it because she’s angry.” Teens are kids who think they can handle this, but we’re still YOUNG. It’s very easy influencing us, EVEN if we’re strong with our yiddisheit. It’s DANGEROUS being too close to them.
Riki: KEEP STRONG!!!
To all the guys out there who think Riki shouldn’t avoid her brother: I had a very close friend who is terribly confused and is now on her way off. In my innocence, I thought that I can and have to be the one bringing her back. As a result, I grew confused myself!
Going OTD IS contagious although not literally and not all the time. This is serious business which is not meant for a teenaged girl who’s at a loss.
Of course you have to be nice, but, IMO keep your distance. I’ve witnessed many a family where one member caused the others to follow in his/her path. They are out to get others to join them. As soon as I dropped my “friend” (I’m just casual with her – no deep discussions), I’m far better off. I know it’s much harder with a brother who’s your flesh and blood, but, this is the right thing to do. You have to save youself first. Also, remember: you’re NEVER alone. Talk to Hashem. He’s your Father and understands you best. I know what it’s like to feel lonely and friendless. Please don’t worry. It will all pass. Believe me, the payoffs or big. You’ll live a pleasant and calm life IY”H. Have a wonderful journey!!
deyezooger: Yeah, we too. But, I was absent anyway…
Ha! That would be some sight! Gimme a call if you do that 😉
deiyezooger: LOL. But, t’is no fun sledding with kids tagging along!
happiest: People on the outside are afraid of others. You wrote that if we meet you on the street you look perfectly okay. You don’t exactly wear a “I’m mentally ill” sign on your forehead. Therefore, people feel quite uneasy sharing their mental problems with other.
Delighted to have a day off!!! T’is a good thing I’m still a teen (?) so I can still go sledding with some friends! Yippee!!!
I heard of someone who suffered from depression and also had cancer. She said that the depression was much harder on her for various reasons:
1- When you suffer from a physical illness you’re understood by others.
2- Your not embarrased to get help.
3- People will try helping you out, whereas when you suffer from mental illness, people back off from you.
May Hashem send a Refuah to all sick people.
Riki: Try picking up this “varemkeit” from others’ homes like neighbors, friends etc.
I’m also in HS and was pretty confused (especially in yiddishkeit). I was also the type to keep everything to myself. I didn’t consult with my parents, machaneches, rebbetzin etc. And so, every passing day I was growing more anxious and unstable. I was extremely confused and felt all alone. My mother was the one who noticed that something was up and answered all of my questions. I’m FFB and I know your parents are BT, but maybe in spite of or probably because of that, they might help you out. My mom contacted Rabbi Jung from Monsey who deals with girls like us. He’s heard every question under the sun, and the best part is, you don’t have to introduce yourself! You can contact him at 845-371-0180. I also got the CDs of Rabbi Sapierman from Toronto – he’s fantastic! You can also go to informative forums like Aish etc. to get some support. Once you’ll be grounded with your yiddishkeit, it will be easier for you to reach out to your brother. I truly hope he’ll come back real soon. Good Luck!!!
It’s not healthy keeping your emotions bottled up inside you. Especially since you write you’re afraid that you too will go off the derech. If your brother is a bad influence keep your distance. Be polite but cool. Don’t try being the one bringing him back. He needs somebody who’s experienced in this field. Definitely not a HS(?) girl who’s pretty confused herself. Are you sure there’s absolutely NO-ONE you can talk to?
B’hatzlacha!
IIRC, R. S. R. Hirsch said of Rabbi Kalischer: “What he considers a big mitzvah, I consider not a small aveirah.”
I heard about a couple who got married at age 15. (It happened back in Europe.) They were fighting all the time, so, they went back to their parents’ home for a couple of years and then reunited:)
Mikehall: teens may act immature sometimes, but it’s okay. Their life will be serious when the time comes… BTW I’d like to meet a teen who’s “living a life”. I think we all have “mature” stuff to deal with ;). Unfortunately, due to typical teens’ insecurities, they cling to each other forming “relationships” even if they’re a bit young for that… Oh, and no, I’m not 15:-)
watermelon – So true. I was obsessed w/ my weight while I suffered from anxiety (I had to be a size 0!). Interestingly enough, it disappeared along w/ my anxiety!
I wasn’t depressed, but had anxiety. Unfortunately, I hid it from my parents for fear that they won’t understand. B”H my mother detected that something was amiss and got it all out of me. She ordered the Attacking Anxiety & Depression program by the Midwest Center. It truly helped me overcome my anxiety. I am totally out of it now.
Don’t be ashamed to get help! It’s totally okay. Being unhealthy is not okay. There are more people in the Heimishe community that suffer from mental illness than you think. You just keep going. Hatzlacha!!