observanteen

streek, I’m hearing the question I asked just a few short years ago. (I am bh now happily married with a beautiful baby)

A – Marriage, in all honesty, does not make sense. Why would anyone want to commit themselves like that? Why would anyone want to be tied down to a spouse and family? Work for them, cook for them, care for them, bathe… it’s endless. Well, firstly, Hashem created us human beings to WANT to get married. But what if you don’t want to, like you said? I didn’t either want to get married at a certain point. But then I suddenly did. Why? Human nature, my friend. But if you want to go from a philosophical point of view, then here goes:

B – We are not meant to lead a selfish life. When one marries, it is an excellent opportunity to work on one’s middos. Middos you thought just didn’t bother anyone, is suddenly far from ok. And that is why were here. So marriage does bring you closer to your goal. Also, it says in the Torah that one should be fruitful and have kids, meaning we should build the coming generations.

In a nutshell: the reason we marry, from a Torah perspective, is to better ourselves and build our nation (Ofc, those who can’t marry or have kids have diff cheshbonos which I dont know of)

Sorry, I don’t have the time to get deeper into this, but I hope this answered at least some of your qs.

Good luck!

ayiddisheneshomaiscrying: I’m truly sorry you are going through such a terrible ordeal.

I haven’t posted anything in close to three years, and barely visited the cr (since my internet is usually filtered and it’s blocked). I had my internet opened for a different reason, and just popped in for a minute. When I saw this thread I knew I had to post.

I saw you were advised to go to Rabbi Weiss from Eitza. I hate to give names and speak loshon hora, but this is letoeles. He is clearly NOT the right person to go to. I have had a terrible experience with him – he nearly ruined my life!

I don’t want to go into details since I might be recognized by other people, but I beg you to try other organizations first. I was b”H not abused, but had other issues as a teen (I am still using this sn, but I am not a teen anymore). I reached out to eitza for help and just sank deeper in the abyss I was in. I b”H got out of it through the help of my very devoted, caring and smart mother. I am currently married and am a mother myself b”H 🙂

Wishing you lots and lots of hatzlacha and siyatta dishmaya.

Syag: Thank you so much for your encouraging words and beautiful bracha. It’s truly appreciated! BTW, I just want to say that your story inspired me to do mitzvos with more kavana and concentration. Thank you SO much!:)And thanks for sharing your “embarrassing piece”! I gained a lot. You are a true inspiration.

What a profound thought, MiddlePath. I never thought of it that way! I am in need of chizuk in this area, so thanks a lot for sharing.

Syag lechochma: Your post gave me the chills. Often, I do take the mitzvos for granted, and do the mitzvos robotically. That was an eye-opener for me, and got me thinking…so thank you!

Middle: Glad you’ll stay here:)

Princess: Hi:) You sure are right. What I meant was, it seems like this particular poster STRUGGLED HARD. And I want to add, that there’s no way I would know what’s going in in anyone’s life, and although some people may seem shallow and carefree on the outside, they may have some real difficulty that I don’t know of. (I say this from experience!:P)Everyone has a goal. To some it’s hard, and to other’s it’s… MURDER! It sure can get veeery tough at times (do I have to tell you about it?!). But again, there’s NO WAY I could measure how difficult it is for others to achieve their goals. (Sort of like a test [why do I constantly use this example??] those who get a %100 didn’t necessarily work harder than the kid who got an %85). But Hashem DOES know, and He will give us schar accordingly!Lefum tzara agra:)

IMHO, facebook is not just about the user. Some of you say that you have a facebook account, and you use it wisely. Wonderful. BUT when you’re talking about shidduchim and marriage, it’s NOT just you anymore. You will bezras Hashem bond with your spouse, build a home, and you are an example to them. YOU ARE THE ROLE MODEL. The question is really, do YOU want to bring facebook in your home? WHICH INCLUDES that your kids may abuse it? Do you want your spouse to be on facebook and POSSIBLY be hooked, or involved with things they shouldn’t?

Marriage is about getting to know oneself. With this, and with many other issues, one must ask themselves, what do I want MY home to look like? What kind of father/mother do I want my kids to have? It’s about growing up, and choosing your life.

Do you think your Emunah is strong enough? Can you give it over to your children with clarity? Can you prove that there was maamad har sinai? Can you explain why the cristians are wrong?

I’m not sure if you’re asking this question out of curiosity or because you want some chizuk on Emuna.

Firstly, I think you should read “Permission to Believe” and “Permission to Recieve” from Lawrence Kelemen.

To answer your questions:

– I think my Emuna is strong, but there’s always room for improvement, and a shiur on Emuna is always a bonus.

– I’ve done some research, and so, I feel that yes, I can (will iy”h)hopefully be able to give it over to my children with clarity (although I will certainly daven for siyatta dishmaya, ask my husband/rav for guidance etc.).

– I can prove mamad har sinai, by the fact that it states in the Torah that so many people witnessed this big event. Had it been false, it could’ve been easily proven wrong (our great-great-great…grandparents would say that their parent, or grandparents never witnessed anything like that). Also this is THE ONLY RELIGION that has this! This is not me who’s saying this, but I’ve read it in “Permission to Recieve” where he’s researched EVERY SINGLE RELIGION OUT THERE. There’s always ONE “prophet” who somehow saw “G-D” and recieved a set of laws, bla bla bla. There’s ONE religion that did have a large number of witnesses, but they all, unfortunately, died on the spot – amazing, huh?

Amnan Yitzchak answered someone to this question, “When there’s a major court case, do you think 6 witnesses are enough?”

Student: “Sure.”

“60?”

“Definitely.”

“600?”

“Of course!”

“How about 600,000, is that enough for you?! Do you think they ALL dreamed this up?!”

“Oh, yeah, but the <bold>Torah</bold> says there were 600,000 Jews to accept the Torah! So we’re back to square one. Why should I believe the Torah’s true?”

“Was there Pesach this year?”

“Yes.”

“Last year?”

“Yes.”

“And the year before?”

“Nudnik, there’s Pesach every year!”

“Oh, yeah? Ever since?”

“Yetzias Mitzrayim, silly!”

“Aha! So, tell me, is the Torah true?!”

– As for christianity, I don’t really see why that.33 would make it or break it, but it certainly doesn’t make too much sense, and I would easily prove it.

Hatzlacha!

Princess, why, thanks! I appreciate your warm welcome/

I wrote this to all of you (especially to those who stay on the sidelines in their quiet corner;)):

I can’t see your face;

There’s a screen in the way

Can’t see the challenges

You conquer each day.

I just want to say

I truly do care

Although you don’t say it

I know it’s hard to bear.

Just hold on tight

Please keep strong

It won’t last

All too long.

Keep on going

Try your very best

And to Hashem

Leave the rest.

May we all emerge of our challenges as happier, healthier and stronger people (am I saying it correctly, PE?:))

CallMeDave: You’re welcome:)

ICOT: I know your poem is directed to blabla, but I’d like to thank you. That was awesome. Unbelievably well put. The rhyming, rythm and choice of words are excellent. Thanks a lot – I too, gained a lot by reading it.

Think First: Welcome to this thread (and to the CR if you’re new, haven’t seen your name before). Your poems are sweet! Thanks for sharing.

Hey, everybody, Gut Voch! I missed you all.

SaysMe: You seem to be an amazing person who’s truly trying her best. Good luck in all your endeavors! Your talent for writing is obvious. Great work and keep ’em coming!

blabla: Glad we’re of help:)Your poems are superb!

2facer and kapusta: Welcome to the club! 2facer, nice poem!

Princess: Hi:)

Here’s what I’ve written on the last page of my diary:

Like all good things

This book comes to an end

My emotions

An interesting blend;

It’s happiness and joy

That lifts my heart

For from those memories

I will now depart.

It’s fear and trepidation

That makes me turn cold

What does the future

For me behold?

It’s shock and sadness

Sending shivers down my spine

Are those bitter memories

Truly mine?

I relive the depression

Anxiety and rage

While I turn

Your every page.

My eyes get teary

Every time

I read my writings

And painful a rhyme.

And now as I close

This chapter of my life

I know I am

The winner of this strife.

SaysMe: The only reason I said what I did, was because I too, went throught the pain and helplessness of anxiety. And because I hurt so much to see that you too, suffer. Again, I hope I didn’t hurt you or blabla.

You say it seems out of reach. I used to tell that to myself too. By saying that, you subconciously tell yourself that you’re incapable, helpless and this is how you’ll always be. Easy? No, I never said it was easy! Life’s NEVER easy. Let me tell you, even now, when I’m b”H over with my anxiety, life is still LIFE! With disappointments, frustration, challenges and difficulty. Life IS BY NO MEANS EASY! But we’re meant to work, aren’t we? We weren’t created to life an empty life of fun. We must make our life worth living. Remember, if anybody can make YOUR life easier, it’s only YOU.

Loads of luck! Hope you feel better:)

This CR has gone berserk. I don’t feel comfortable posting anymore. I’m not sure what’s true, false, who’s friend and who’s foe. Just wrote this to express my emotions (Please excuse my poor work, I wrote it on the spot).

To some it seems amusing

To me it’s confusing

Are there people abusing?

I am at a loss

Who’s the boss

Members to toss?

The members cooking like stew;

Is the J. Crew

False or true?

If only I’d known what to believe

AYC’s account to retrieve

And nice comments recieve.

I wish this goings on

Will soon be done

And to J. we’d cry, “Voyage Bon!”

Still waiting for the apologies now that I’ve unfortunately been proven right

Sigh. Jothar, are you sure?! Oh, no. And, if you’re certain that it’s true, is he capable of doing anything now, or is he under control?

blabla: Glad you enjoyed it. How’re you doing now?

Princess: Aw, I didn’t expect that. And I’m certainly glad you decided to come out of hiding! Things just weren’t the same without you.:)

Boy, supergirl, you made me do some math… Haven’t done any in a looong time!

I think it’s called “Inverse Operation”. The idea is to isolate the ‘s’, thus finding the value of ‘s’ (as CB and AYC explained above). Good luck!

Hi, I was in the writing mode, so I wrote this just now (blabla, I had you in mind).

Death – Our Life

Some people fear

Thunder and lightening

Some people feel

Death’s frightening.

There are people

For death they strive,

They don’t want to live

Don’t fight to survive.

Death.

To some it is

An evil decree

While others

Wish to be set free.

Death.

Is its meaning

Good or bad?

Is the result

Happy or sad?

Death.

Death is the entry

To a new life.

Will it be serene

Or filled with strife?

Will I enter

A beautiful paradise,

Or will life there be

None too nice?

Death.

Life.

Death’s the life

That we earn down here.

Death will come,

When we’d complete our share.

Death may be scary

It may be exciting.

Death may be ominous

Or ever so delighting.

Unlike animals or plants

We were given a choice:

Whether we will cry

Or we will rejoice.

SisterBear: Glad you checked it out. Hope you’re doing better…Hatzlacha!

Wow, MiddlePath. I really am busy now (and promised myself to exit the CR), but I had to read your entire post. It’s absolutely amazing. Well written, to the point, and practical. Why, I think you’d be a writer one day! Thanks so much for sharing. I truly gained a LOT. If I develop this “listening skill”, it’ll be your credit.

Thank you once again, and may you continue being a source of inspiration to all of us.

I thought I’d share this poem I wrote while suffering from anxiety (just a few short months back!), to all of you who are suffering from anxiety, depression and/or ED. Just to show that you’re not alone, and that I feel your pain.

My Heart

I’ve got an open heart

To tamper with and break

You can take part,

Feel free to take.

Don’t ever hesitate

To stamp on and tread

That’s my fate;

Pain, sorrow and dread.

My heart has undergone

So many a surgery,

The damage is done,

Peace – an unreal luxury.

Get hold of my heart;

Prick it, cut it with no doubt

Quickly tear it apart,

For time’s running out.

Soon my heart will come

Crashing to the ground

It’ll lay limp and numb

I’ll be lost – never to be found.

Syag: Welcome to this thread!;) Your post truly puts things in perspective. Great letter. Keep ’em coming!

blabla: Thinking of you. Are you feeling any better? Your poetry is unreal. Keep it up!

Anyone else?!

Are you kidding? I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I had a hard time working, schmoozing or laughing.

Oh, I just noticed this. Rabbi Nosson Tzvi Finkel. I’m sitting here in tears. Hashem, ad mosai? Oh, I just can’t take it.(Sigh)