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Git Meshige, what I meant was that all rabbonim in manchester hold that the eiruv will be halachically valid, according to whatever shita they hold by. Unlike some other eiruvin where there has been massive conflict between rabbonim over the halachic validity (and sometimes a bit of politics comes into play as well) there are no such problems with the manchester one.
When I was in shidduchim, someone asked me why I didn’t say I was looking for boy in learning in order to ‘get a better shidduch’. I firmly believed (and still believe) that zivugim are from Hashem, and if you are true to yourself, then it will happen with less heartache and anguish. I knew I was wanting to marry someone who worked, and that’s what I did. And I’m happy I did. A friend of mine was officially looking for a learner, and got engaged to a bachur. Right before the wedding they decided that kollel wasn’t really for them and ended up moving to my town right after the wedding. (Actually, they got married before us, so we moved to their town…)
I think that, as others have mentioned, teachers should be more open-minded with their students and help them find the right path for them, instead of ‘one fits all’.
gefilte fish – I put the log in a pan with a carrot and an onion (whole), and onion powder, salt and black pepper. Pour boiling water in the pan and let it bubble on a low flame for about an hour. I slice it and the carrot once it’s cooked, and I don’t keep the onion.
Cholent (on Thursday night) – fry onions till soft, then add cholent meat, LOTS of: paprika, garlic powder, salt and pepper and brown the meat together with the onions. In the crockpot I put cubed potatoes, boiling water. Then I add the browned meat and pre-soaked beans (but I don’t put a lot of beans in). On friday I add the barley, otherwise it dries out the cholent.
I like my version better. But you still haven’t told me who it is!
I like the one you did for my name.
Just to add all rabbonim in manchester agree that it’s a kosher eiruv
I’m an ex-manc and my family there have told me that there is no politics regarding the eiruv, but some people won’t use it for chinuch reasons (children can get confused if the go to a place where there is no eiruv and have to be told why they can’t carry. It’s far easier to teach them that we don’t carry on shabbos).
where is everyone? I thought I had a great anagram going! Can someone guess it please?
The NY case jump
Would seem that it is more popular to hate ketchup here – our rivals have only five posts!
For those who are attacking me, I was merely trying to make a point.
Trust, I did read that ‘look inside’ on amazon actually, and to me there was nothing in that introduction that gave indication of abuse. Avram, I will defer my position, since if what you have written is a direct quote from the author then that is something I would not agree with – and I am pro smacking (for dangerous or out of control behaviour, and it should be VERY infrequent).
Trust, my point was that many people will put a review on something they have heard about merely to discredit it, when they have not read it themselves. Even though you highly doubt that what people wrote was made up, unless you know that for a fact you can’t just assume it. People will make up anything that sounds plausible. I am not trying to defend the book itself, just clarify what is people’s idea of ‘abuse’ since in today’s age of parenting many people will say that being strict and taking away privileges/toys or putting a child in a ‘naughty’ chair is abuse. Shlomo Hamelech said ‘spare the rod, spoil the child’ but it seems most people have forgotten this.
No more attacks, please. I am done with this thread. Apparently I am not allowed to be strict any more.
I would be very annoyed to have to hunt around the house for all the cups and plates that were used by others and not cleared up. I’m not a domestic maid, I’m a wife.
Even my two year old knows to put her cup and plate/bowl/spoon in the sink when she is finished eating. It should be automatic anyway.
SIDI – guess what? I actually eat them without ketchup! Gasp! A little bit of salt does the trick for me. And sometimes I eat them with mayonnaise. Hellman’s is great stuff.
TAOM, most ketchups don’t even have that much tomato in any more
I just feel that instead of reading the reviews (which sometimes is a good way of gauging something but not necessarily with books) people should check it up for themselves. I think that most of the reviews on Amazon are from people who heard about the child abuse cases in which three children died as a result of parents misguidedly taking the book to an extreme. I do not believe that any book that advocates ‘beating children into submission’ would even get published in a country such as America. I would suggest that if we all read it ourselves, we would see that.
I may point out a recent, horrific event (unconnected to this book) in which people are now downloading the NYP app just to give it a 1-star review. Most of the people who are doing this may not even have read the article, but following public opinion. Please don’t abuse me for this since I know the two cases are not in any way related, I am merely trying to point out that in order to discredit something, people will jump on the bandwagon without actually having checked up the facts themselves.
Rebyidd, nowhere did I see that ‘it’s about beating them to get rid of the inner demon’. Avram, no, children that age will NOT understand not to touch private property if they haven’t been taught the concept from a young age.
As to your assertion that children below 12 months will not understand the meaning of the word no – my 7 month old is already beginning to understand what ‘no’ means. And since I have acutally studied child development, I can tell you that from about six months of age babies are beginning to comprehend language and not just inflection, so it is not just that my baby is advanced. After the parent says ‘no’, they move the object out of reach. And why should the child become afraid of that object rather than learning it is untouchable? Babies pick up what the parent gives off, so if the parent is not showing any fear, the child will not learn that.
Things taste good without the ketchup. The stuff makes me throw up, and I’m not kidding when I say that I can tell when someone has used ketchup in a recipe. THE ONLY thing I will put ketchup on is a roast, since it tenderises the meat, and I use only enough to rub into the roast before I put it in the oven. AND THAT IS IT.
Avram in MD, perhaps that was not really a good example, but there was no punishment involved, merely teaching the child that there are some things they can’t touch (which they can understand from a young age). I would like to point out an observation I have made on my own and other people’s kids: My house has a few decorative ornaments and nice photo frames around. Most of them are out of my kids’ reach. On the whole, my two year old understands that she is not allowed to play with them (when she gets into one of her terrible two’s moods it’s a different story, but these are the exceptions). She has grown up with these things around so they are not a source of play for her. However when I have kids in my house whose parents do not have any of these trinkets around, they touch and play with them and it doesn’t matter how many times I tell them that it’s not a toy – some of these kids are six, seven or eight years old, not two. It’s the same with my piano – my toddler doesn’t just lift up the lid and bash the keys, yet other children much older than here will do that. My point, and the author’s point, is that children can be trained not to touch things that aren’t meant to be played with.
I am so glad there are others there like me who have not been brainwashed into thinking that we can’t live without ketchup. Look at me, I’m alive and I DON’T LIKE KETCHUP! Have I made my point yet?
DY, actually I read the introduction and the main premise of the book is training children into good behaviour instead of letting them reach naughty behaviour. The example I read was explaining how to teach a very young child (an infant) not to touch something by placing the object near them and then telling them ‘no’ very firmly when they try to reach out for it. After a few tries they understand and no longer touch. Nowhere did I read of wholesale beatings into submission so any parent who seems to think that’s the case has clearly misread. Although I do think that perhaps they should have made the book a little clearer.
If you check his family background, you will see that they are religious Christians, and therefore they use this strict approach in conjunction with their own moral teachings. Unfortunately most non-Jews are not religious and would therefore not have the same judgement behind using stricter punishments. This is how you end up with parents hurting their children as a result of reading a parenting book.
There’s a petition up and running on Change.org – please sign it!
A boycott will help as it will hurt newspaper sales, mazal.
Putting ketchup on anything. The stuff is vile.
I just looked it up, and also at the Wikipedia article on the author. I think perhaps that if parents really take it literally it can be dangerous but the main premise of the book seems to be training children into staying away from bad behaviour in the first place, rather than trying to discipline them once they’re already misbehaving. And in the article, it was noted at the trial of one of the children’s deaths that the parents themselves took the book too far, and many of the punishments they did were not even suggested by the book. And apparently they brought quotes from the book at the trial which tells parents to stay away from abuse.
You have to be awarded that special honour by one of the mods.
As to this thread, a messed up school is one where children come out with lack of disciple and general respect, or any kind of responsibility. Also where the staff are incompetent at discipline and teaching in general. The first school may have been strict, and the no-shoes may have been over the line but if the kids came out knowing something worthwhile and with respect for their elders then that can only be a good thing. Unfortunately the chutzpa level in many yeshivish schools today is way out of hand.
If he has done cooking, then it is nice of him to wash up after himself but I don’t expect it, for two reasons:
1. He has really bad eczema on his hands so it is a big thing for him to do washing up. Whenever he does I let him know that I am very grateful for it.
2. It is not always reasonable to ‘expect’ things off others. As long as they are not making my job as wife and mother harder, they do not always need to wash up after themselves. Clearing up, however, is a different matter. I would expect them to at least put their stuff in the sink when they’re done.
takahmamash – I agree with your comment, just want to add that if the children are brought up from a young age to clear up after themselves, then it will be automatic. You can’t suddenly expect a ten-year old or even a teenager to clear their own stuff up if they had their mother constantly clearing up behind them when they were young. I am teaching my two year old that she has to put away toys when she’s finished with them – this is where it starts.
By the way what is this book called?
Are you sure that it’s telling parents to beat their children and not just explaining when and how to use a smack so that children learn? Personally, I believe that for certain behaviour such as dangerous or repeated chutzpa and unreasonability from a child deserves a smack, as long as it is given infrequently, in private (so as not to embarrass the child) and not in anger.
I do think that amazon would draw the line on material that bordered on child abuse.
How about x7″You don’t know what I’m talking about”
There are many boys out there, some want to learn full time, and others get a job but go to shiurim. It really depends on the boy’s character. If he wants to learn, let him.
If we’re talking about short poems like that then I have one (not made up by me):
How odd
Of G-d
To choose
The Jews.
Not news,
Not odd,
The Jews
Chose G-d.
HaLeivi, I read your post about naming after avoda zaras, and if you look in the direction of South America you will find quite a few people named after a certain person who was supposedly born on the 25th December. And there are people named after Roman, Irish and Greek deities all over the world. Minerva, Venus and Bridgit are good examples.
Hi, I’m back!
welcome!
I thought that one got sorted out? Or was there another one?
JMH you took your time getting here! Love the socks
You used that trick before, just changed the last line
If it’s not in self-defense, it’s not for me to decide. If he was trying to kill me, even without a weapon, then maybe. It’s impossible to know until you are in this kind of situation. I hope I never am.
And in the same way that Hannah is an English spelling of Channah does not make it an English name. And Susanna is from Shoshanna, and Elizabeth is from Elisheva. So please don’t trot out the ‘just use a Hebrew name’ argument.
Zalman is the Germanic form of Shlomo – same reason, different language.
I only just noticed that 🙂
Gamanit, I didn’t even count the number of syllables. I just don’t see the point of haiku, so I am sure that it works much better in Japanese.
A very long time ago
In a place called Fishdiddlededee
There lived a toothless old woman
Who owned black mittens three.
They kept her feet nice and cosy,
But she always knitted a spare,
Since occasionally one would vanish
And disappear into thin air.
One day she’d had enough
And set off on an arduous quest
To find all her long-lost mitts
In the caterpillar’s nest.
The caterpillar was cunning
But the crone was well prepared
She vanquished her deadly foe
And her beloved mittens were spared.
mirrer, thanks for pointing that out. I remember it well because I found out I was expecting on a friday asara b’teves, three years ago. And I still had to fast.
I think haiku works better in Japanese – original language of haiku after all.
Someone once told me
That carrots were blue,
I had to tell them
That’s simply not true.
The fact’s widely known
And plainly is seen,
Carrots aren’t blue,
They’re purple and green.
Ha! Won’t tell you which issue or which section it was in…
😉
TAOM – thanks! Never had any poems printed before but I did recently have my first article published in Binah. Will keep them coming!
Deliberately Christian? Yes, she is religious, but I don’t see anything in there that is deliberate. One thing that stems from her religion and comes across in the books is morality and faith.
HaKatan, it’s not kishuf cause it bears no resemblance to real witchcraft, and it’s not idolatry since there is no paganism involved. There are no Christian themes in the books either. I actually think the comparison is very good for an audience who needs it
Matan1 – never, but that’s not the point. The point is that we davka eat food that’s been left on a fire overnight to stop others from saying “well we take to torah literally, so we can’t have hot food shabbos morning”. Even though the zdukim are not around any more, there are still people who don’t believe in the Oral Law.
The idea behind cholent was those were the ingredients easiest to hand in Eastern Europe – meat, potatoes and beans. So they put them in a pot and left them overnight. In the middle east, they used rice and chicken with a variety of spices, which is called hamin. I switch between the two (my husband was brought up with a lot of sefardi cooking since his mother was sefardi), but my mother very often makes beef or lamb stew, chicken casserole or a good thick soup like bean soup. It doesn’t have to be cholent but it does have to be left overnight on a fire.
ChaniE, even if it’s hot we should still serve hot food, since we are making a statement against the zdukim, who davka had cold food shabbos morning cause it is assur to cook fresh.
It’s the law of the country that when a person drives, they should signal to indicate which direction they are turning. Not to do so is against the law of the land.