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thanks!
frummy – you are spot on! I was wondering if anyone had heard that one… And I said I would tell you tomorrow… 😛 LOL
Why did the chewing gum cross the road?
Cause it was stuck to the chicken’s foot.
What’s the difference between an elephant and a postbox?
(I actually want responses from people before I give the punch line)
itrying to figure out how to do italics and bold here/i‘i’italics?’
Mrs Plony – We satirise ourselves as well. The main point to realise is that it’s done simply for satire’s sake. He is not in any way anti-semitic or anti-religion (though I don’t think he is religious either). He just finds a concept and finds something humorous about it.
I said I would tell you tomorrow… 😛
Results??? We are all hanging in suspense here…
I really wish those evil bunny wabbits would go away…
How do you keep an idiot in suspense?
…I’ll tell you the answer to that tomorrow…
ummmmmm…. you? I have only read You Don’t Have to be Evil to Work Here But it Helps
thanks talmud! Paddy is always good for an Irish joke
how about coraline? now that is creepy…
where did everyone go?
Paddy walks into a pub and orders 4 pints of beer. He explains to the barman that he used to have a drink together with his three brothers, but now they have all gone their separate ways. To keep up the tradition, however, they would still order drinks for each other. This becomes a regular practice and the barman gets used to Paddy ordering 4 pints every time.
One day, Paddy comes in and orders only 3 pints.
“I’m very sorry to hear,” says the barman.
“What do you mean?” asks Paddy.
“I thought maybe one of your brothers had passed away, since you only ordered 3 pints,” explains the barman.
“Oh no!” says Paddy, “everyone is fine! I’ve given up drinking…”
I told you already, the key is at the bottom of the River Tyne, cause I threw it in there.
If you want to go and fetch it, I suggest you wear a hazard suit on top of your diving gear.
the difference between yeshiva and sem is that the girls are only there for one year, maximum two depending on where they go whereas most bochurim are in yeshiva for anything between two to five years before they start shidduchim. Think about it – in England, most of the girls are only 16 when they go to sem but by the time they are finished they are old enough to start looking.
Also it depends on the maturity of the girl, and whether they are actually dating or if something ‘comes up’. Most of the girls who get engaged whilst still in sem were shidduchim that came up and worked out. However, a girl should not be actively ‘on the market’ when she is in sem as it will disrupt her sem education.
Two Irish men were sitting on the floor.
One fell off.
Some old friends are socialising when Mr Cohen suddenly has a massive heart attack and dies. No one wants to be the one who has to break the news to his wife. In the end, Jacobson and Hirsch decide that they will do it, so they go round to the Cohens’ house and knock on the door. Mrs Cohen answers it.
“Excuse me,” says Jacobson, “are you the widow Cohen?”
She looks at him strangely and says “Absolutely not!”
Jacobson replies, “Wanna bet?”
You heard me. I threw it in the river. River Tyne, to be exact (it’s the nearest one to me).
just pretend it was the kids
what are you going to do now about your plush carpet? next time, go for brown, not cream
not schmerling. paskez milk munch, pesek zman and kliks.
and I threw the key in the river, sorry.
I finally found my brain! It was hiding behind the couch among all the chocolate wrappers…
let us know how it goes!
now how’s that for randomness?
pasta and cheese!!!
chocolate is also good fuel when you’re doing long hikes cause it provides energy in bursts, which is what you need when you go cross-country.
Torah – the way the Discworld is set out is in itself a parody of some actual theories of how the world looked before people discovered it was round. And then Terry Pratchett takes different cultures and parodies them, different countries or situations (such as Moving Pictures ripping off Hollywood) and basically presents them with a comical and largely cynical twist.
I wasn’t complaining, honestly! I was merely pointing out that sometimes a piece of work that is too intelligent is often marked down cause people just don’t understand it. And in any case, it wasn’t me who wrote the treatise, it was the Librarian, who we have pointed out is not actually a monkey and if he hears the word used in reference to him goes bananas (‘scuse the pun). I was just trying to do a bit of marketing and PR for him.
Rincewind can be a bit of annoying character; as failed wizards (wizzards) go, a better character is Mr Sideney. I sometimes find Rincewind a bit tiresome, but then again, I suppose that is the whole point of his character. He’s not exactly endearing. When you’re a teacher, you tend to find that the kids who try too hard and have too little talent can be the most annoying.
I am quite attached to my brain though, even though it doesn’t always do what I want it to do…
Thanks for reminding about that open mind quote – I totally missed that one out!
I still have to decide on a favourite character, which is really hard since there are so many good ones. Main ones would have to be Vetinari, DEATH, Nanny Ogg, Sam Vimes. We’ll see who else will be added to the list later
I suppose the treatise on bananas was just too academic and therefore illegible unless you work in a university…
Does the Librarian qualify since he is not a monkey?
I had a look at the list of books, and counted 39 I have read…
Best quotes:
Bee There Orr Bee A Rectangular Thyng
I’m mean and turf and I’m mean and turf and
I’m mean and turf and I’m mean and turf.
Me and my friends will walk towards you
With our hats on backwards in a menacing way.
Yo!
“Well, basically there are two sorts of opera,’ said Nanny, who also had the true witch’s ability to be confidently expert on the basis of no experience whatsoever. ‘There’s your heavy opera, where basically people sing foreign and it goes like “Oh oh oh, I am dyin’, oh, I am dyin’, oh, oh, oh, that’s what I’m doin'”, and there’s your light opera, where they sing in foreign and it basically goes “Beer! Beer! Beer! Beer! I like to drink lots of beer!”, although sometimes they drink champagne instead. That’s basically all of opera, really.”
Give a man a fire and he’s warm for a day, but set fire to him and he’s warm for the rest of his life.
That just goes to show that you never know, although what it is we never know I suspect we’ll never know.
each to their own. I can accept the fact that there are people in the world who don’t like chocolate. it doesn’t change the fact that I am a chocoholic
my family always by the stiff PVC tablecloths brand new for pesach and then keep them till the next pesach. As far as I know, the PVC ones aren’t coated cause they are not disposable
contain or are coated with? cause the prohibition on chametz is roeh l’achilas kelev. if the starch is part of the tablecloth itself then it really isn’t a problem – no dog would eat plastic.
chocolate with a high cocoa content is healthy. seriously, I am not kidding.
I was being facetious. I am well aware of the reason behind it and I think it is a step too far. Especially since oil is not chametz.
“It’s made from apples. Well… mainly apples.”
Ash – that’s what I was referring to. He currently dictates his novels to someone, who types them for him.
oh ha ha ha JMH. please at least try and be funny.
You have enlightened me. But then my sub doesn’t really say anything about me, just saying that I am not someone else
Nanny Ogg is just pure comedy though
always wanted to ask: am I the only one with a spleen? I thought most people had one of those, or did I lose concentration in biology and mishear the teacher?
maybe I should change my username to notalemming cause then people will understand the following blindly reference…
when they started marketing plasticware and paperware as kosher l’pesach I think I despaired a little. plastic is plastic – you’re not going to eat it and unless the guy in the factory was eating a sandwich as he packed the containers for shipping, they have never seen a crumb in their life. it’s time to wake up!
anyone whose subtitle is related to hitch-hiker’s guide to the galaxy is in no way being serious about moon landing conspiracies. this thread has been very entertaining! (I know it probably wasn’t meant to be…)
The first one I ever read was Sourcery, followed by Monstrous Regiment. Lost count of how many I have read, although I think it’s pretty much all of them. My list of favourites includes Hogfather, Moving Pictures, Snuff (purely because of the amazing Austen theme that runs throughout the whole book if you spot all the references)and Going Postal. My absolute favourite has to be Maskerade. 1) I love the witches. 2) I love Phantom of the Opera, it’s my favourite musical. 3)The rest of the Andrew Lloyd Weber references are brilliant.
And I think that Terry Pratchett still being able to write his brilliant stories is nothing short of amazing.