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To aries2756: Your first 2 paragraphs are excellent. The first 2 sentences of your third paragraph are excellent. I would suggest one modification of your opinions: It is not an adult child-in-law’s responsibility to correct his/her parents-in-law, but it is his/her right, subject to the appropriate rules of courtesy and the mitzvah to respect one’s parents, to express his/her disagreement with a parent-in-law’s comments.
asyyeger: Contact the camp and tell them that if they don’t tell you what their dress code is, you want your deposit back.
Reading the comments on this thread, I realize that the US government wasted an awful lot of money on the last US census. For the next US census, just let the commenters at the USA Today web site give estimates off the top of their heads, and we’ll have the number for free, and it will be as reliable as the information here. What a bargain.
tryinghard: I would like to answer the question you posed to Raphael Kaufman. If your Spanish cleaning lady learned English, she might be able to get a higher-paying job, which I think is the reasonable point that Mr. Kaufman made. “Second class existence” is not the same as being second class. (Bernie Madoff is second-class.) If your cleaning lady does an honest day’s work and obeys the Noahide laws, there is nothing second-class about her.
Whatever else she is, any woman who picks up a hitchhiker, no matter how frum or otherwise deserving he looks, is nuts. A woman (or man, for that matter) who picks up a stranger is putting herself/himself in jeopardy, and a married person with children who picks up a hitchhiker is being utterly irresponsible to her/his spouse and children. It’s that simple. Most gentiles understand this, as well as most Jews. I am flabbergasted that there are some frum Jews who cannot grasp this. Tznius/shmius – who wants to die and have his/her death reported on the evening TV news, even if neither you nor any of your friends owns a TV?
estherhamalka: How many boys where their shirts over their suits on Shabbos, or on any other day of the week?
yogibooboo: It appears from your first post that you said the right thing, but whether or not you did the right thing depends on how you said it. If your tone was condemnatory or effete, you said the right thing but did it the wrong way.
Your second post reads in part: “i see day in and day out parents not caring and its driving me crazy.” You have therefore plainly said that if you are not crazy, you recognize that you are on your way. Admitting your problem is the first step to recovery.
As for “Spanish babysitter/housekeepers”, I know lots of them – they are called “Sephardim.”
To anon1m0us: Best. CR Post. Ever.
guy-ocho: Thank you for dispelling the myth posted by Boro Park Girl that “there is no hard schooling involved” in trades like plumbing, electricity and HVAC. No one – not even Boro Park Girl – wants to sleep in a home that was wired by an electrician who had no hard schooling. An unschooled electrician is a fire hazard with legs. And plumbers are in the front line of the work for public health.
I thought Hashem had a Bashert for each and every Jew. Does anyone think Hashem wants the Jewish people to be divided over minhagim, or food preferences, or pronunciation?
There are 3 meanings of “professional.” It can mean someone who (a) requires or accepts payment for the performance of a service, or (b) has achieved a recognized level of competence in performing a service, or (c) someone who satisfies both the foregoing definitions. You – the initial poster – are probably seeking someone who is covered by definition about (b) or (c). Does anyone know the percentage of all “professional” shaddcans who satisfy the (b) and/or (c) definitions? From the stories in the Coffee Room, I would guess it is below 50%.
The Torah gives a dress code, but it also recognizes that we have free will, and it is up to us to follow the dress code of the Torah. Uniforms are either a pedagogical device or a substitute for good judgment, and an important part of chinuch is to develop self-control and good judgment in the exercise of free will.
i am here writes, in part: “crab!!!!!! why would anyone want to eat anything that is copying somthing not kosher just knowing that its imitation crab sounds gross.”
Kosher is not about the simple pleasure of eating food that tastes good. It is about holiness and the fulfillment of Hashem’s mitzvos. If the rabbis say that “imitation crab” is kosher, there is nothing gross about it. You may not like it – and you don’t have to like it – but some of us think it is delicious, and if it is kosher, we can eat it, enjoy it, and, more importantly, bring holiness into the world.
In your initial posting, you do not say so explicitly, but I gather you are frum, the shop is in a frum neighborhood, and the personnel in the store are frum or under frum supervision. As I see it, the behavior of the frum store personnel is a frum equivalent of secular sexual harassment. If you cannot or do not want to speak to the store personnel directly and tell them to stop, you should ask someone to do so on your behalf, whether it is a neighborhood rabbi, one or both of your parents, or some other respectable adult who can make the store personnel see and understand the inappropriateness of their behavior and cause them to stop. If the interventions on your behalf do not bring about the appropriate change in the behavior of the shop personnel, you and your family (and extended family, if possible) should have no further dealings with the shop. You deserve respect, and your parents and rabbi will be happy to help you get it.
“I’m going to a be a financial advisor …. My main job is to get clients and sell them all types of insurance ….
Here’s some legal advice: Make up your mind and decide whether you are financial advisor or an insurance salesman.
What everyone thinks is normal weight – why would you want to know that? That’s like asking everyone – gentiles and non-frum Jews included – what they think of Torah. What medical science thinks is healthy weight – that’s something worth knowing.
To answer the question posed by the title of this topic: Better late than never. Perhaps this is another sign that Moshiach is near.
The first 2 comments, while basically true, demonstrate an unwillingness to accept the fact that sometimes gentiles try to comply with Hashem’s requirements, and we Jews should encourage the chesed in their gentile hearts and deeds.
To AinOhdMilvado: Yes, statistics can be abused, and a one-year change is not necessarily a lasting change. But YWN reported it, so it must be true. 🙂
And speaking of Jerusalem: The boundaries of Eretz Yisrael are spelled out in the Torah, but are the boundaries of Jerusalem likewise spelled out? I asked a knowledgeable rabbi, and he said they are not, but that the parts of Jerusalem that cannot be shared or given to non-Jews would be the Jewish holy sites. In my view, it does not matter what we give away, as we get it all back when Moshiach comes.
To AinOhdMilvado: A recent article in YWN reports a 50% drop in anti-Semitic crimes in France in 2010 vs. 2009.
As for Mr. Galliano, it is appropriate that his career appears to be flaming out.
If the implied premise of the question posed by the initial poster is correct, i.e., that women are required to include photos with their shidduch resumes, but men are not, then it probably represents a marketplace determination that women’s appearances matter, and men’s appearances do not. Is this an issue that should be addressed by frum men? Frum women? Yeshivas?
apushtayid: You are funny but not clever (as that term is used in British English).
In the absence of a standardized phonetic spelling system, not to mention a standardized transliteration-spelling of Hebrew and Yiddish in Roman characters, this discussion is gibberish.
To all you folks who think that a parked car on Shabbos in a shul parking lot means someone drove on Shabbos: your ability to jump to unwarranted – and wrong – conclusions is astounding. At my shul, the rabbi’s car is always there on Shabbos – he drives there before Shabbos, davens Mincah, Maariv and Kabbalos Shabbos, walks home, walks back on Saturday morning for Sharchris, stays all day, and after Havdalah, drives home.
And, of course, for some of you purists who shows a lack of Ahavos Yisrael, someone who would otherwise not daven on Shabbos who drives to shul is, possibly, a future Shabbos observer. If you turn up your noses as such people, you are not helping the Jewish people.
To “deiyezooger”: After you find a computer whiz, please look for a spelling whiz and a typing whiz.
First poster writes: “Hi was just wondering where everyone was going at the end!” At the end we’re going to the Next World to be with Hashem. You all should know that by now. But of course, you should all know how to write by now, also.
Someone I know is missing a limb. There is a gemach for single shoes, socks and gloves, but I do now know how to find it.
Why is this issue worth discussing? How much free stuff is out there to be gotten? I think most participants in this discussion are under the mistaken notion that there are large amounts of “free” stuff that is regularly given away.
First the obvious: Ask your doctor. If you don’t have a doctor, get one.
Now, the curious: The answer to the question on this thread is so simple and obvious that I wonder why it is even posted as a topic for discussion.
If you, your spouse and children are non-smokers, would you let your son-in-law or daughter-in-law smoke in your home?
popa bar abba: I think the bottle toss is customary only if the marriage ends in divorce and the chosson is bankrupted by the settlement/alimony.
It’s too early to tell, but it looks as if the Arabs are starting to look at themselves to solve their problems, rather than to blame external forces – Israel, US, infidels, devil – for their problems. Whether this will be sustained is a big unknown.
Read “From Beirut to Jerusalem” by Thomas Friedman if you want to have some recent historical perspective on the current turmoil. (Fill disclosure: he is a reporter for the New York Times, which many YWN readers consider (wrongly in my opinion) anti-Semitic and unreliable.)
trak443: Why not post your 1-page questionnaire here and let us see what you consider in reviewing a scholarship application?
The initial post on this site inartfully asks a good question: What are the standards that tuition committees apply in distributing scholarship funds?
If tuition committees want to be helpful to their students and their students’ families, they could publish their tuition-granting standards, and parents could follow them or ignore them as they see fit. I personally suspect – but I have no evidence – that tuition committees are too loosey-goosey in the execution of their responsibilities, and could not in fact publish their standards because they do not have any, or they do have standards but do not consistently follow them. I recognize that my opinion may be unfair to some hard-working and fair-minded tuition committee members, but I would like to hear from them.
Bowwow asks: “Has anyone had problems with addiction to prescription painkillers?” Well, for starters, there’s Rush Limbaugh.
tamazaball: Anyone who gives you advice on the basis of the skimpy bit of information you have provided about your parents is a nudnik.
FFB’s get an extra 2 credits. But BT’s can get 2 extra credits if they don’t push their hats back on hot summer days. BT’s also get extra credit if they marry a fat girl who is over age 23.
aries2756 asks: “Where are the kids getting the videos from at that age?” The answer is: from the video store across the street.
The raccoons of Bensonhurst are far more entertaining.
I think most medical and osteopathic doctors will tell you that “good chiropractor” is an oxymoron.
deiyezooger writes: “One little bobcat can do a whole street in 2 minutes instead of letting senior citizens shovel for hours and getting heart attacks.”
But who has a bobcat, and how much effort does it take to train the bobcat to shovel snow? Or do you hitch the critter to a plow?
Daas Yochid writes: “Chicken fat ripple with one scoop liver chip.”
I disagree: liver is unhealthy. If you don’t like chicken fat ripple (which, if kosher, has no real cream), try lasagna fudge, made with real cream.
Print out all my other posts and read them – you will be asleep in no time.
Chicken fat ripple.
To mbachur: You posted the following comment, the first paragraph of which is a quote from my comment, which you italicized but did not mark with quotes:
“As for the Jewish community in Cairo, Nasser kicked them out in 1952, and I do not know whether any have returned since then.
“that’s not true there were some that left during the six day war”
You do not read very carefully, or perhaps you do not write very well. My first statement in the quoted text was that Nasser kicked the Jews out of Cairo in 1952. My source for this information is a lawyer I met about 35 years ago who said he was (i) Jewish, (ii) born in Cairo and raised in Cairo, and (iii) a member of a Jewish family that had been prominent lawyers in Egypt for 10 generations. When I met him, he had settled in the US and told me that Nasser forced his family and all other Jews to leave Egypt.
May I now ask you to specify what, if anything, is not true in my comment. And when I say “specify”, I mean, be specific. That may seem obvious, but I feel a need to be especially clear to you.
To oomis1105: First of all, thank you for agreeing with me.
I must respectfully disagree with you when you go on to write, in part: “why can we not communicate as intelligent-sounding human beings, rather than sounding as though we grew up in a barn?” If someone grew up in a barn, that is no reason to look down on him/her. For one thing, there is plenty to learn in a barn, starting with the an appreciation of the luxury of a heated home and a store-bought mattress, and including where farm animals come from (or, rather, the mechanisms by which Hashem sends them to this world). But the use of standard English as a means of showing off one’s social class, or financial good fortune, or formal education is abhorrent, in my opinion. There is no shame in being born in modest or impoverished circumstances, or in war-ravaged Eastern Europe, or drug-war-ravaged Mexico, nor is there any shame in being unable to obtain a good education. The real shame is having the opportunity to receive a good education but being too lazy or indifferent to do the work needed to get it. The sterling example of that is George W. Bush, BA from Yale, MBA from Harvard, both bought and paid for, but not worked for or earned or obtained.
As for your question about whether a punctuation mark should be inside or outside the quotation marks: it depends. If the punctuation is part of the quoted text, it always belongs inside the quotation marks. If the punctuation mark is not part of the quoted text, there are two different styles: the British style puts the punctuation in its logical place, i.e., outside the quotation marks; the American style is to put the punctuation mark inside the quotation marks, even if the punctuation mark is not part of the quoted text, because it supposedly looks better. Generally, I follow the American rule, but when discussing grammar, usage or syntax, I prefer to follow the British rule, as it is more logical and precise.
And last but not least, chayav inish livisumay: the fourth character of my screen name is the letter “o”, not the numeral “0”. My point is, “That’s not spighetti, it’s linguini.”
deiyezooger writes, in part: “my opionion on this is if your talking to the person and they understand you what is the problem? why should it make a diffrence how its said? i feel, as long as your understood, whoopidoo. lets not be so on top of them……..
I agree in part with your first sentence. The purpose of writing in standard English is, in part, to enable you to communicate to someone to whom you are not speaking face-to-face, or someone who is outside your circle of friends, business colleagues or kollel. If you are talking to someone face-to-face and he/she does not understand you, he/she will interrupt you for clarification, or his/her facial expression will reveal that you have not made yourself clear to him. That is not possible in written communication, such as the Coffee Room, or a written commentary on a Torah passage, or a business report, or an article in a scholarly journal about the history of algebra or the treatment of dyspepsia in whales. Your last sentence uses language that is unfamiliar to me, but I think you are saying, among other things, that one should not be critical of a person who fails to write in proper, standard English.
To Smile E. Face: Your equation of “yeshivish” with textspeak is correct, and both are unwise because they lack the precision of a standard language, whether that language is English or Yiddish.
As for your ability to communicate with your friends using textspeak: the content of your communications with friends may be extremely limited. If you want to communicate outside your circle of friends, textspeak and yeshivish won’t work. That is why, for example, Sarah Palin’s use of Twitter for public discussion is appropriate for her: she is so simple-minded that 140 characters is all she needs to for her to believe that she has expressed a coherent thought, e.g., foreign policy i can see russia.
To chayav inish livisumay: No, I am neither a proffesor nor a professor, though I do profess to have an above-average knowledge of standard English grammar, usage and punctuation. And someone once called me the “Professor of Punctuation”, but I do not believe it was intended only as a compliment.
This thread is refreshing. Most posters seem to appreciate the last 30 years of peace between Egypt and Israel and the uncertainty of the future of Egyptian politics and Egyptian policy toward Israel. And, refreshingly, no one has blamed Barack Hussein Obama, America’s foreign-born Communist president, for any of the events so far. The one thing I would add at this time is that we must understand the limits of US influence on the situation. The other one thing I would add is that turmoil among Muslims, like turmoil among Europeans, often leads to scapegoating, and there are no gypsies in the Middle East.
As for the Jewish community in Cairo, Nasser kicked them out in 1952, and I do not know whether any have returned since then.
To chayav inish livisumay: I meant exactly what I said, regardless of how inexactly I said it. I was well aware of every “error” in my post – they were deliberate. I made them to imitate the errors you made in your post, to highlight the irony of your complaining about adolescents’ use of incorrect speech, while you, yourself, failed to express yourself in proper English. Yes, I think that use of cliches, buzzwords and slang weakens communications skills. The text of most posts in the Coffee Room is a good example of the harm that comes from that kind of speech.
Years ago, when I first saw the low quality of the English in the comments in the YWN web site, I initially attributed it a high percentage of posters for whom English is a second language. However, more recently, I have seem some mediocre writing from people whom I believe are native speakers of English, but who are poorly schooled in standard English, or who choose, for reasons I do not know, to write in a slovenly way when posting on line.
I would like the YWN editors to consider a Coffee Room discussion of the quality of English instruction that takes place in American yeshivas. I believe it is essential that yeshivas and early Jewish education give major emphasis to proper language, whether it is Hebrew, English, Yiddish, Ladino, Farsi, Arabic or any other language. Since the end of the Holocaust, the percentage of Yiddish and Ladino speakers in the world Jewish community has declined, and English and modern Hebrew have become the primary languages of the Jewish people. The quality of Torah scholarship, as well as the ability of frum Jews to engage with the rest of the world, depends heavily on the ability to communicate. Most Torah scholarship outside Israel takes place in the United States, among people for whom English is their native tongue. It is therefore critical to the quality of Torah scholarship that the Talmidim speak and write with precision, accuracy and clarity. Likewise, for frum Jews to engage with the rest of the world in worldly matters, it is no less important that they do so is proper English. English is the language of the US, and Jews should learn standard English as well as any other Americans. With the current and continuing dominance of English in world commerce, industry, science and technology, it is essential that all Jews – frum, not-yet-frum, and otherwise – speak English as well as possible.