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Yehudah Tzvi – where do you get that Xianity says Sunday is the first day of the week?
According to what I understand, we’re supposed to say “Yom Rishon LeShabbos” on Sunday, “Yom Sheini LeShabbos” on Monday, etc. That puts Sunday as the first day of the week on the JEWISH calendar.
Oh Banana, I feel for you. Unfortunately I am a mother who does yell at her kids (wish I didn’t), and if yours yells at you when do you try to help and you aren’t perfect (clumsy is such a difficult thing for a teenage girl – I remember because I was one once). Your self esteem probably takes a beating and you figure out that you’re best off not even starting. It is great that you help with the shopping, since that is for sure a help for your mother and it gets done in a way that you’re not under her watchful eye while doing it. So that’s a tremendous thing. You’re off to a great start.
But I will say that I understand where that “laziness” about helping comes about, since demands for perfection make you tired before you even start, so why even bother, right? How about trying to keep your things and your bedroom cleaned up so that she’ll have one less area to pay attention to. She’s not everywhere in the house at one time, so you can work on your room when she’s not there.
My other points do stand though, and definitely keep up with your studies. I do remind my teenage daughters, though, that their chosson is not going to ask to see their report cards, so don’t sweat it. You want to get into a good sem (the right one for you) so grades do matter more for you than they do for my daughters, so just stick with the little chessed projects for now and wait until you’ve gotten through the school portion of your life to take on bigger projects.
Chin up, I’m sure you’re a great girl if you’re worrying about doing chessed (and you could try taking an exercise/dance class to help with clumsiness also – they help a lot with coordination).
CB – I beg to differ – 2 day Rosh Chodesh is only with a chodesh that is molei (30 days) – so it’s lamed Shevat and Aleph Adar (sorry don’t want to switch between English and Hebrew letters), like yenta said.
Most calendars that I’ve seen have Sunday at the beginning of the coming week, and since that’s the way the Jewish calender is also set up it’s probably best to think of it this way, you won’t get confused.
the problem is that the lining is shrinking more than the velvet on the outside. When I wash them, I take them out of the washing machine (no drying them) and my boys put them on their heads inside out for them to dry. I find it’s a good idea to do this load in the afternoon so that they can wear the kippa for an hour or two before going to bed so that it will dry. Then turn the kippa back around and it will be fine.
Banana, do you help at home? Chessed starts at home. If you have a big family and can help your mother, siblings, then that is a place to start. They will also have more understanding of your situation with your studies. Obviously if good grades comes with a little more difficulty than you obviously have to put more effort into your studies than one of those genius girls who seemingly never have to study (grr). Life is all about balance. One other suggestion is to think if there are any chessed projects you could do at school, like help a girl study for a test, you know, someone who has a very hard time getting good grades. You might think that it will be a waste of your time, but I always found that teaching someone else the material is the best way to review it myself. You could have a pen/pencil gemach in your class or something else like that. You shouldn’t stress your self over not having enough time to do the chessed that you think you should be doing. You might already be doing a great job.
Big deal – you’re obviously right about making brochos when some (say all) of your body is uncovered – think of a woman at mikvah. I was told to use my arms to make a divider in my body below the heart level and everything below.
The problem is only for a man to see ervah while learning or daavening. Women can make brochos when seeing other uncovered women, although they may want to avert/close their eyes just to have some kavana.
The cutting nails is more of an issue though.
No stories, but just gonna be picky for a second. It’s “comorbidity” – one word. Morbidity means something related to death, but comorbidity means existing at the same time, so totally different meanings.
Hatzlacha with your thesis.
Jean material was created and used for clothes worn by manual laborers. Since we are affected by what we wear on the outside, it is not appropriate for a yeshiva boy to be wearing such clothes.
As a BT who never even heard of Yiddish, I grew up with my Sephardi parents speaking Ladino to each other so that the children wouldn’t understand what they were talking about. I knew of nothing other than that and English during my childhood years. I was actually very insulted when a friend in my 20s called Yiddish the “Jewish language” as if Ladino was worthless. I think it was just a matter of lack of exposure to the other.
As my life changed, I had no idea that I would end up having all of my children go to Yiddish-speaking schools. When the oldest was about to start, I decided that I’d better do something about learning the language a bit just so that I’d at least be able to understand what my kid was learning. I found a class and went to it for a few months and it really helped. I definitely don’t speak like my kids do, but I was able to understand most of the school play my daughter was in recently and even a shiur given by the principal as well.
I think the rabbeim who speak in Yiddish do so to avoid speaking in loshon kodoesh, and do so instead of speaking in Aramaic, which no one does at all these days. They won’t speak in Ivrit because of its problematic origins.
What’s the problem with people speaking the language that they feel comfortable speaking in? Do you have a problem with those from France speaking in French? Are they allowed to teach it to their children even though they don’t go to French schools? Can I teach my children English even though we live in EY? If you want to find problems, then you’ll be busy pointing fingers. Do what was suggested above and learn a bit of the language and you’ll find that you feel less uncomfortable, it worked for me as well.
They don’t make as many problems now as they used to. You used to have to renew student visas yearly, now they do every 2 or 3 years and you pay much less than it used to be, more of a family price than a set price for each individual.
You do have to be aware that if either spouse has even one parent who ever held Israeli citizenship at one time that is enough to prevent you from being able to do what you want, because that Israeli citizenship was conferred onto the spouse at his/her birth no matter where in the world the child was born. You only need one Israeli parent to be “entitled to” Israeli citizenship and since it wasn’t refused in the time immediately following the birth, then they are automatically Israeli and this automatically passes down to their children in the same manner.
Now as far as “benefits” you receive, yes, there is some help with rent, bringing in the lift, and things that another poster mentioned above. There aren’t too many other things that you don’t get without citizenship. The permanent resident business has all of the issues of army service as regular citizenship, so that may not help you if that’s what you are concerned about.
As far as something like health coverage, there is a law here that a person who is in this country continuously for 1 year without going out is entitled to apply to Bituach Leumi for coverage. This is called a “toshav” and entitles a person to Kupat Cholim health coverage.
I would guess that the “spine” that they are referring to is the thoracic, lumbar and sacral bones, which would be 12 + 5 + 1 = 18.
The distinction between where the cervical spine ends and the thoracic spine finishes is of little to no importance because there are always only 12 thoracic vertebrae, but there can be an additional cervical spine vertebra. There are people who have six lumbar vertebrae and those whose sacrum is fused to the last lumbar vertebra, but those are exceptions to the rule. So I think the cervical spine is the neck and the spine is the rest. The coccyx, while technically a vertebra(e) is not necessarily part of the “spine”.
I don’t think you have to assume that a mistake was made because we “didn’t know much back in those days”. Chazal really knew everything, but on our level we have a hard time figuring out what they meant, so even though we seemingly know a lot, we probably have to know more details now because of our low level of understanding so things have to be clearer for us.
All I want to know is are the women sitting in the back. Egged buses are not allowed to be separate, but I prefer to sit in the back. Does that make me a loser?
I think Health was on the right track. When will it be possible to “force” us to do mitzvos? When HKB”H’s presence will be so clear that it will be questionable if we actually have bechirah anymore, that will be in the times of Moshiach. What is the purpose of a police force in those kinds of times? To force the Yidden to keep the Torah. The problems that yichudisk bring up and the different chumros kept by Jews from different countries will be cleared up by Moshiach and there won’t be a question as to what the halacha is, so everybody’s problems here will be a moot point. Until then, well, there’s no forcing anybody to have Olam Haba is there?
In EY, we split it up, making a seudas chaverim for the Rebbe/Menahel and boys in the class – usually done at home, but maybe in a small hall if the family is very wealthy. This would be a full meal – on hamotzi. This is usually done on the day of the Bar Mitzvah itself.
For friends, both of the family and of the boy who are not in his class, we make a kabbolas orchim, where mezonos, salads, desserts are served. Most of this can be homemade. It’s like an open house where people come and go. Many people I know make it in the house and others make it in a small hall. Only very wealthy people have made it in a larger hall. I made this for my son the night of his Bar mitzvah, but it depends on when this happens (what if it is on Shabbos/Yom Tov). I also know people who just make a big kiddush (like for an aufruf) the Shabbos of the leining. This can be done in the house or at the shul’s hall.
For family, people can make a special meal for the whole family, making it as extended as they like. Many people make this right before the kabbolas orchim at the same hall.
CAP – please explain – do the #s on the street change depending on who lives there? How did they determine if a Jew is going to live there and for how long?
If you think she feels uncomfortable because people are staring at her, it’s a sign that she doesn’t realize that her makeup is overdone. Make up can be done with a light, even hand and it would make her look nice, but too much looks clownish. She won’t get from “single” to “married” if she looks ridiculous.
Another idea is popcorn as a snack. Buy an air popper. It is very low calorie and very yummy when popped fresh. He can enjoy helping to make it also (depending on his age).
“The worst things that the secular Zionists did, including the Teimani children (if it actually happened) pale in comparison to what Yannai and Omri did but they are praised for the good things. “
I’m not sure I understand this – WHO are praised for the good things? If Yannai and Omri killed many talmidei chachomim, at least they only took their olam hazeh. The tzionim want to take olam haba’ah as well.
I once saw a mother taking a walk with one of her kids. I thought it was a great idea for her to get one-on-one time with him. I’m sure this kid doesn’t come home until close to 6 at night or even later, so when can he ride a bike if it’s been dark for more than an hour in the winter? Once the younger siblings were sleeping, she could take him out for 15-20 minutes two or three times a week. This would encourage activity, although not aerobic exercise, even under the guise as just getting time with mommy. Some kids would really love that especially if the house is normally very busy.
Actually, I think that walking under ladders isn’t a matter of a superstition. I learned it in a class years ago and was told that it had to do with “going into a makom sakona”. Check out if there is any truth to that.
Gm – the reason the boys do it when it rains is because the lining tends to shrink more than the velvet (I’m assuming that they are velvet kippas) and when they are wet it is best to stretch them out over the head well so that they will fit properly when they dry again. My boys do this when we wash the kippas – no going into the dryer Mommy, please!
How old is the baby? Have you considered reflux? There are babies suffer from something called “silent reflux” and the food is irritating their esophagus without actually coming back up. It is best to keep them propped up for a period of time after feeding just to make sure the food stays down in the stomach. There are times when medication is needed (Zantac, Prilosec for example). These are all avenues you should explore in addition to the formula issue.
What makes you suspicious that it is an allergy?
You may not be hurting SOMEONE ELSE by telling a lie, but you are hurting YOURSELF. It perverts part of your being by telling something that is not the truth. Your YH is activated to convince you that it is really OK, because you’re not hurting anyone by what you are saying, but in truth, you have just strengthened the YH with what you said. It will be harder to say the truth the next time.
I don’t think there is anything such as a “hypoallergenic” formula. Some kids are allergic to milk products and proteins, so you might try avoiding the dairy, but some say that if there is a true milk allergy there can also be a soy allergy, so it is hard to know where to turn. There is a formula that I have heard of that breaks down the proteins into very small particles that some very sensitive babies have an easier time with when digesting. It is very expensive, but you could give it a try. You will need to give it a few days before deciding that this wasn’t the problem. It is called Alimentum from Similac.
zeena, to be honest, you’ve posted this same very specific list of questions many times in the last couple of weeks on many different threads. In my honest opinion, it is too specific and some of the the questions are difficult to answer. Every year in each seminary is a little different than other years. Each girl is different (finding a person’s place depends on the personality of the girl who is answering your question not the personality of your daughter). From what I’ve ready of your other posts, I know you feel that your daughter needs an intense intellectual seminary. There aren’t that many like that that are really frum, the are usually a little more on the modern side. My step-daughter went to Michlalah last year and she seems very intellectual and is studying at Stern right now. Her skirt length was just the minimum from what I saw of her and I don’t know what kind of music she listened to. There aren’t so many kids who post here and a parent can only give you so much information. Maybe you should cut the # of questions down to something that a person could tackle without spending an hour on your post.
WIY, congrats on dealing effectively with your YH and getting off FB. You should be zocheh to be able to meet your future challenges in the same way.
I never signed up just for the reasons you indicated. How much time have I saved myself by not having an account? I can’t count the minutes. I do wish I could see more of my family, but I’m actually not sure who has an FB account that it might have been worth it for me to sign up for one, so I’m not starting now.
I just wanted to add a note about the blinking ads, which I mentioned in another thread. I use Firefox (don’t know which browser you use) and I have an add-on called AdBlock Plus. I have the simplest list of ads blocks and I see NOTHING on YWN or anything else. It’s a pleasure since I was getting dizzy and having a headache with all of the blinking things on the home pages. B”H the CR doesn’t have blinking ads – or does it and I just don’t see them?
What’s the rush, why do they need to be the FIRST? Will that feed their ga’aiva? Isn’t the point of getting married to have a happy marriage with the right person, not to make a mark on their scorecard?
shaale = a question
kashye = a difficulty
Sometimes you could think that they are used interchangeably, but I think a shaale is more basic than a kashye, as if a person has looked into something he had a shaale on and it was difficult for him to understand, so now he has a kashye on it.
casserole
Yserbius, If the mathematical probability of even one of the chemical reactions supposed to have taken place in the “chemical soup” that is claimed to have existed on the planet’s surface at the “beginning” is more than 1,000,000 to 1 to happen, how could you even chance that it would have happened a second time. The theory of evolution has its root in these chemical reactions coming together to create some type of a being that came out of the soup. The likelihood of a part of the body of one creature that exists or has existed on this planet being created out of this soup of completely ridiculous. How did the current billions of people on the planet all end up more alike than not (hair/eye color not withstanding) for what is supposed to be thousands of years already with no evidence of any evolutionary changes going on at this time. How did an eye create itself? How did two of them get onto one face, how did they duplicate themselves for the next person/animal? I understand that a person has to have bechira, but to me it is obvious that these things did not happen by change, thus I am left with only one conclusion, that they were put their by design. I changed my entire life based on this one understanding, left my native city 20 years ago and wouldn’t go back to believing such narishkeit again. It’s so obviously been thought out by people trying to avoid any obligation to anything other than their own personal desires.
Thanks
BTW, 42, I do think that OOM (WUM)’s subtitle is great, just mine was based on one post in one thread and is not representative of who I am.
Maybe the same person could take mine away. I think it’s pretty stupid.
et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.
That’s all I have to say on the matter… etc.
Yserbius, I actually heard Dr. Schroeder give a lecture on his book and he is the one from whom I understand that while the 6 days of creation can be understood within the framework of science, it still does not lead me to think that people evolved from monkeys or that it is even possible for one thing to evolve from something else. I believe that everything that is in this world is here with a purpose designed specifically by A Supreme Being. Can you explain how it is written that the only animal that has a split hoof but does not have two stomaches is the pig. Maybe some other animal is going to evolve into a similar creature? What about the ones that have a single hoof but two stomaches that are enumerated in the Torah. Maybe there are others that man has simply not located?
Yserbius, what would anyone want to learn evolution for? Statistically, there is more than a 1,000,000 to 1 chance of even one change that evolution speaks about taking place, and evolution requires millions of such changes, so the chances of evolution being fact-based is astronomical. I learned evolution as if it were fact, which is far from the truth. You may want to have monkeys from parents, but I prefer to believe that we are descendants of higher beings and have a higher purpose in this world than that.
This is not advice about which computer to buy, but if you don’t like the moving/blinking ads, why don’t you use Firefox and use the add-on of AdBlock Plus. I have NO ads whatsoever on this site or any other. 1,2,3 and they’re gone. Nothing more to slow down my computer.
Now for the advise, I would go for the first system since it comes with Windows 7 already and a lot of the new programs aren’t made to work with XP anymore plus there’s double the memory and the processor is a higher quality one plus you have 50% more of a hard drive. For sure worth an extra $85 in my opinion.
There is a group I believe called Ateres Cohanim. They have people who give tours in the Old City and other mekomos hakedoshim. I went on a tour of the Kosel tunnels with one of them and it was terrific!
Shraga, I would suggest you divide your activities by location. In addition to the Kosel tunnels, there are other museums in the Jewish quarter, including seeing sites from the times of 2nd BHM’K and also the museum with the keilim from the BHM”K. Lots to see and do in the Old City. Combine that with a visit to the kosel for daavening, eating pizza or whatever else you might like at one of the restaurants, and you will have exhausted a large part of the day, especially with just walking up all of the stairs from the Kosel to the Jewish Quarter.
Other museums can be done on the second day – Yad Vashem will take a couple of hours, and you can get there going on the new Light Rail train just to see some sights, the Israel Museum if that interests you, Science Museum, which you mentioned, a trip to Geulah/Meah Shearim to shop a little and get every one a token to remember their trip with and bring back presents when they go home.
Enjoy your stay.
I would also take into consideration how many dates he has with each girl. I mean is it 1 date for a couple of hours and on to the next or does he go out a couple of times to try to get to know her better than just the first date? Also, did he ever say yes and the other side say no to further dates? These kinds of things give a person a clue into whether the person is going through some sort of check list at the first date and if x,y or z doesn’t match, bye-bye.
I thought to respond to this thread, but I see that a lot of the issues I wanted to mention have already been discussed. I did want to bring up a point about having a personal car if we don’t like taking the buses. Please keep in mind that, per a recent article in YWN, the price of gasoline here costs $7.95 per gallon. It’s no joke. Even if you can afford to buy a car, which the purchase has a tax rate of more than 100% on top of the value of the car, so you figure out how a regular chareidi family, EVEN IF the father (and mother) works, could afford to drive the car??? It’s not an option, I promise.
The issue of studying history is so ridiculous. Don’t we have enough history of our own to study, like just Jewish history for the last 5000 or so years can be studied by Jews more importantly than American history and civil rights. I don’t think many people here associate sitting in the back of the bus with Rosa Parks, but it has come from the outside – media and other people who have no connection to the issues.
Sam2 – I have heard that in times when the pull by the YH is very strong then we have a right (and maybe a chiyuv) to put more gedarim in place. Eizeh hu chochom, haroeh es hanolad – it wouldn’t take such a stupid person to figure out that a man sitting next to a woman decked out in her skin tight, skin-revealing clothes, with loads of make-up and perfume on top of that, would feel some form of attraction to her, and by then it’s too late. Most of the buses that come from the chareidi areas do obvious go to more mixed parts of town, but the chiloni has no big need to get on these buses but for a few stops, since he doesn’t need to go to the end of where those buses go.
And as far as buses going into Meah Shearim, I’m not sure that it’s not bad to put a stop to that. The street is so narrow that you could feel like you’re going to be run over by a bus at any minute, so let the buses go around that stretch of town. They go by the start and end of those neighborhoods and you can walk in on your own from there.
Toi and PBA – you really said it the best.
147, I’m sure Brooklyn Shadchan didn’t mean to open your raw wounds, simply she used a term that is used in Lakewood to describe the bochurim in the period right after they start learning in Yeshiva to give them a chance to get settled in their learning before they start with the distractions of shidduchim.
As far as learning in EY only after chassanah, I would say that it sounds like a good idea, but I’m not sure how practical it is because most boys would set themselves up in a paying kollel or to get paid in the yeshiva where they were learning before they got married so their finances on that end are set up as well as having chavrusos and things. Also, who is going to find them an apartment and furniture?
People don’t always get married close to the beginning of a new zman, so how would they be able to come after the chassanah if it’s say, Channukah time for their chassanah. Now they have to wait for Pesach, and I’m sure it is understandable that once they get settled in some kind of routine wherever they were before the chassanah, it will be very difficult to uproot themselves to travel halfway around the world, especially for the kallah, now to part from her family a second time. It is much easier to have a shorter break, maybe 1 month just to get organized, knowing all the while that you’re going. Some people go straight after sheva brochos.
Maybe Brooklyn Shadchan can explain what she has against going to EY as a bochur other than it “taking away” from American yeshivos, which I’m not exactly sure that it does because there is obviously a place for every bochur out there.
Along the lines of SaysMe’s suggestion, if it’s for a group of friends, you could make a photocalendar, with pictures of your group throughout and individuals, using their birthdays and any other special days to highlight throughout the calendar.
In my sons’ cheder, there was no one invited to the siddur party. As a matter of fact, they took them to the kosel. The chumash party was arranged for at around 5:00 in the afternoon, which is when most people would be able to take off a little time to be able to attend if they want to come for the very start or come a little late if they can’t take off time. I think it worked for most people.
You should not take antibiotics without solid reasoning that you have an infection. Unnecessary taking of antibiotics produces antibiotic-resistant bacteria and won’t help your condition if it is produced by a virus or allergies.
As someone who passed the exam but never did the work experience in order to get the CPA and I also am here in EY now, I would say you should definitely get the work experience doing taxes. There are CPAs here who help Americans fill out their American tax returns. It makes pretty good money, but know your tax business well.
While he may not have said it completely, I think Health meant that it is a good thing that SG did not get further into the relationship, get married, have children, and have years invested into something that was not the right thing for her. I don’t think it’s a matter of that other people have harder situations, but that SHE herself could have been in a much harder situation. I’m not suggesting she should be grateful to be suffering, but, by keeping things in perspective, she will hopefully find her bashert soon and move on with a clean slate.
SG, I think you asked about what does “bashert” mean. I was under the impression that the meaning in most cases is “meant to be”, that Hashem means this is what is supposed to happen. So in this case, your bashert is the one who is meant to be your partner in life. I have also heard of the concept that we have more than one bashert depending on where we are holding in our lives, and I’m not sure how that goes along with the concept of bechira. Maybe bechira has only to do with choosing to do mitzvos or aveiros, maybe someone with more hashkafa can give some more insight.
Hatzlacha getting through your nisayon.
Always runs, I should have known that you started this thread. I was laughing so hard I was crying. DY and Shticky, your comments are +10000. Sooooo funny!.
BTGuy – I sure hope the shidduch suggestions that Always can have for you are better than a fat horse!!LOL!
APY, you gotta be careful with that autocorrect:
Then again, I don’t understand how krias yam suf worked either, and hashem had no problems pulling that off, so I figure do your hishtadlus and live with tamim tihyeh I’m hashem elokecha.
I’m always impressed with how much the men know and I know that my tafkid is not to know gemorah like they do but to know the issues pertinent to my life. There’s a ton that you can learn if you want and it’s the women who know so much that really impress me. They did it while still making/building their houses. Truly amazing.
Squeak, do you want to know as much as your husband? Shouldn’t he be the rov of the house (and know when to go to his rov to ask shailos)? I think part of the shidduch crisis is that the girls know too much and we don’t know when to just listen – we want to voice our opinion too. The men don’t always like that. The biggest trick in finding the right shidduch I think is to find a man who is willing to take your feelings into account. This is what I was advised when I was dating my husband. My rebbetzin asked me if he would take me into consideration when deciding on a new chumra for the house or would he just barge forward. There are chumras that the man can take upon himself without forcing his wife to do the same (like not carrying on Shabbos even if there is an eruv) and there are chumras that will require a lot of extra work on her part so he should take that into consideration when deciding how to implement keeping that chumra.