“Assuming this is not a troll OP, the Rov made a mistake. He should have spared the poor girl from having to go out again with someone whose priorities are upside down, literally.

Dear yeshiva boy, you marry the head and not the foot. Get help.”

Well said, well said.

So a working boy can forget about a good shidduch. Ouch. That hurt.

collegegrad, Many of them use taxis, or have their husband drop them off and pick them us afterwards. And others aren’t so practical. Or maybe they want their husband’s input on what they’re buying. Or he might be taking care of the kids while she shops. Whatever. Not my problem.

shteiger

I was out of the CR for a while, so it’s kind of entertaining to see where this thread ended up.

Question: Why do you sound so worked up about this, if it happened quite a few weeks ago (“anyway she ended up getting engaged last month and now I hear rumors…”) and your friend is engaged B”H?

Why do you think that any girl would take a lesson from a story from an anonymous poster about an anonymous boy who clearly is too upset about her friend’s hurt feelings to be rational and objective?

Same2- well said

Isn’t it Hishtadlus? Doing what you can to ensure financial stability in case of a tragedy…? I don’t see where lack of Bitachon comes in here.

Cinderella, if you have reason to believe that your brother is purposely keeping your parents in the dark about this, and if your brother is an older teen (17+), you should probably not talk to your parents about this behind his back.

On the other hand, if you feel that he would listen to them, then it might just be a good idea. But you might be burning a bridge here, if you’re on good terms with your brother and friend and they feel betrayed when you tell your parents “behind their backs”….

Just something to consider…

Ask your Posek. And while you’re at it, find out what he thinks about Jdate and Frumster. And the bar.

Good Luck!

workinonit, Do you have this problem during one-on-one convos too? Because lots of people have issues showing their true personalities in front of large groups of people. It’s very normal and there is no reason why you should push yourself to change that.

If, however you are more shy and reserved than usual during one-on-one conversation and small groups, it might be worth working on it so you can enjoy socializing more.

Also, you mention that you are much more relaxed and expressive at home. But are you also comfortable around extended family, neighbors and close friends? Is this “problem” only among acquaintances and strangers? Or are you shy around people who you know well too?

I agree with Kapusta. Good Luck, Observanteen.

I don’t think that everyone who’s hooked on the net is necessarily looking to fill a void in their life, especially young adults. I think many of them started exploring the internet out of curiousity when it was banned. And from there on, they simply became addicted.

There’s so much entertainment available online, so it’s not hard to imagine how someone could get hooked to a point where they stop sleeping/eating/reading/socializing normally and spend most of their time online. It’s addictive and exciting enough, to take over the life of teens/young adults who had pretty okay lives.

It’s true that for many it’s an escape from real life, but I beleive that for many young web-addicts, the cause is not that complicated.

candy613

You are right, there is “a certain something to actually holding and turning the pages to the siddur in your hand”.

When I take time during the day to check in with The Boss I not only wouldn’t use my phone, but I shut the sound off so I won’t be interupted. (And I don’t put it on vibrate either, because I can not afford to be distracted while I’m talking to Him.)

Let’s assume we’re talking about a boy, or a girl who didn’t yet cross the line but definitely had a relationship.

rfs, Like many posters said, I think you need to ask Daas Torah on your particular situation.

Toi, before I respond to your post I just wanna repeat what I wrote in my last post: I’m not saying that anyone who feels that they cannot or should not share past deeds that they aren’t proud of is wrong. It’s possible that for some people it’s just too embarrassing or scary to let their spouse see the ugly side of a past they’d much rather forget about.

I am simply saying, though, that I:

1. Wouldn’t risk having my husband find out on his own. You never know….

2. Can’t imagine myself being happyily married to a guy who I’m not comfortable enough with to share my past with. And that includes the bad and the ugly too. It’s over and gone but it’s a part of my life (and chances are it had a lot to do with becoming the person I am today) that I would need him to understand.

I took a minute to imagine the worst possible thing (actually, a few things came to mind),and I changed my mind about the waiting-till-after-marriage thing. I would definitely want to know before, so I can decide if I’m ready to share a life with this person. I understand that if it was me, I’d be very hurt if I was rejected because of a serious misdeed that I’ve already done Tshuva for, but I would also have to understand that actions have consequences. I would have to take responsiblity for my actions and that includes living with the consequences. This goes for the “worst things I can imagine”. But, again, that’s me. I’m not saying everyone should.

blabla:

I am close to someone who battled anorexia two years ago. Just wanted to wish you good luck and say that with the right nutritionist, right therapist, and right support system (Yes, they are three separate components in the recovery process, IMO) you will get over this! Keep davening!

Hatzlach!!

allsgr8

Thanks!

allsgr8:

Thanks for the info. Just curious-is there any Kosher cookbook or website with Kosher recipes for pre-diabetics/diabetics that you’d recommend?

Thanks again.

Mazal Tov, observanteen! May you and your chosson be zoche to many happy years together in good health and may you build a beautiful Torah home!

(Thanks for sharing, btw, it was so nice to hear!)

I usually tell the Kallah, “Oh, wow, you look so beautiful!” and of course the music is so loud that she can’t hear so I try saying (yelling, really) it another couple of times, and by then somebody pushes in and takes over the dance, so I’m free to leave!

I don’t get it. Why is everyone acting like all couples who struggle with infertility are one and the same?

Just because one couple prefers total privacy, doesn’t mean that another would like to share what’s happening with close family/friends.

And just because it’s too painful for one couple to spend a lot of time around their neices and nephews, doesn’t mean that another couple doesn’t actually ENJOY the opportunity to hang around the kids.

Shouldn’t we just use the rule that Mother In Israel wrote: Read your sibling’s cues and follow them?

You got that right..it’s a nebach on him.

am yisrael chai

You’re right. It’s not a joking matter. So if it’s really happening, this isn’t the place to get help.

This used to bother me when I was about to indulge in something special that was by no stretch a necessity.

I think that if I was perfect, I’d probably forgo a lot of conveniences in my life and put the money to better use by giving it to tzeddakah.

Well, I’m not perfect (yet!) so I started giving 20% maaser instead of the 10% I used to give. I’m not a level where I can live with the bare necesities only, but at least I demand of myself the same generosity when it comes to Tzeddakah.

The best part of getting paid, is that I can cut more maaser checks. I get tremendous pleasure out of it, especially since I know that this isn’t gonna last once I get married and hafta pay rent and food and whatnot.

Mrs. Doubtfire

“I’m a regular woman in a big frum city with no trauma or drama in my life…”

Regular “woman”, huh? You’re sure you’re not Robin Williams? Mind if I asked why you chose this username? Just curious!