I was raised to give when someone asks. I don’t feel comfortable taking the chance of not giving just because he MIGHT be a phony.

Banned by whom?

If you listen carefully to how to talk about their friends, family, co-workers, etc. an appreciative or unappreciative attitude can be picked up.

Hatzlacha!

I sometimes do dances that are obviously meant to be provocative, if performed among men. I also sometimes listen to non-jewish music. This isn’t a confession, btw, there’s a point coming…

Being a good dancer and someone who really enjoys music doesn’t make things easier. But at least my sensitivities aren’t dulled to a point where I don’t see anything wrong with it. There is a reason why I would be shocked beyond words if I saw the wife of our Rav dancing like that, or listening to non-jewish music. And I hope one day I will be strong enough to stop doing both.

All I’m saying is, if you find it hard to stop, trust me, I get it. But don’t pretend that there’s no problem with it.

“Just wondering, It is not debatable that the reason for seminary is to get a good shidduch.”

I must be doomed. Never went to Seminary. Oh, well, I’ll just hafta settle. Smoker, maybe.

See, this is why I like the CR. Great place to hang out and marvel at Hashem’s wonders. They say that the idiots and fools in this world is just God’s sense of humor.

BTW- I personally wouldn’t marry a smoker. And I would only ask the boy himself whether or not he smokes.

SilentOne-Wow. That is so beautiful! May your Tefillos be answered very very soon!

Yes, it’s a great place and getting quite popular around here.

Lifeisgreat

In answer to your original question (I’m guessing you want my opinion, not a psak halacha, otherwise you would have asked your Rav), I think it’s okay to make the party. But teenage cousins of the opposite gender should not shmooze. My opinion.

mra01385

I think you should make it a point to notice if he helped out. People appreciate it when their help is noticed and it encourages them to continue helping out. (It also feels kind of odd sometimes to anounce it…)

The same way how a mother would make it her business to notice if her child cleaned up the kitchen, she should notice if her husband helped. People like when their work is acknowledged, no matter their age.

BTW, the husband should mention it to his wife if she happens not to notice it once in a while. Why shouldn’t she know what you took the time to make things easier for her?

Soliek

“There are so many kids that come from normal families who fell through the cracks due to getting involved with the wrong crowd or internet….”

I agree with your post. Let’s put “getting involved with the wrong crowd or internet” under “spiritual problems” and add that to the above list.

WIY

“I know plenty of people from messed up families and the only reason they got somewhere in life is because they decided to take responsibility for their lives.”

Assuming the kid is willing to take responsibility for their life, they are still going to “need to shift their priorities in order to survive. But when that happens, even though they are, in effect, the products of a normal society, abnormalities and all, they get shafted by the community, seen as second-class citizens, judged unfavorably. So where does such a person go?”

We have to stop tolerating all this garbage and stop enabling kids to think that they have an option to go off the derech.”

I’m sorry, but the last time I checked, these kids don’t ask for anyone’s permission before going OTD. So what exactly are we doing that “enables” them to have this option?

I feel sick. And angry. If everything that aries said is true, I wanna do something about it so so badly. And I don’t know what.

I wish I knew for sure what the deal is with all the “covering up”. I wish I knew WHO the “Rabbanim” who cover these things up are. It makes me sick thinking that their book(s) may be in my house. I wish things were simpler and I can comfortably believe that our “Rabbanim” know what they’re doing and I should trust their judgement in dealing with these monsters. I wish we were living in world where money, power and kavod don’t get in the way of doing what’s right.

If I am ever lucky enough to be in a position where I can help even one victim, or protect even one potential victim, I hope Hashem will give me the strength, courage and clarity to fight like those who could’ve should have.

Love Eden’s frozen broccoli or cauliflower florets. I find that their pieces are bigger than the other brands.They’re not cheap, though.

originial thinker

Ok, so now I’m an teensy bit confused…What exactly is your question? Are you saying that you’re afraid of death because you’ve done some things (“taryag avairot”)you shouldn’t have? Or that you’re afraid that your self image has become so distorted (“And if he can be so distorted in his thinking what about me?”) that you don’t know anymore if you’re doing/did good or bad….?

GAW

According to zeeskite’s last post, a lack of Tznius may very well be a major cause of our troubles.

always runs with scissors fast

Thanks for the laugh! Ur funny…

originial thinker

“In short what can we do to be sure of a favorable judgement?”

It’s good to be in touch with our mortality. It keeps us focused on what’s important in life, and forces us to think about our purpose on this world.

The truth is, that’s all Hashem really wants from us. Stay focused on the big picture, and give every day your best. When you worry about a favorable judgement, keep in mind that Hashem sees your sincerity and efforts and you don’t have to be afraid so long as you’ve tried your best.

Don’t compare yourself to Tzaddikim. You are YOU, not them. Do YOUR best, and connect to Hashem in YOUR special way.

Obviously I’m not paskening, just giving my opinion…..

If you have an excellent filter, I’d go with Jewish sites online versus the radio.