Mother in Israel

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  • in reply to: sitting next to opposite gender on plane #749741

    I never thought I could be offended by a bunch of strangers on the internet, but this thread has proven me wrong. I read the responses to my post over an hour ago and am still walking around brooding about it, so I figure I better speak my mind.

    Firstly, I’ll say that I am not one who nurses in public. On the contrary, I am very, very opposed to it. If my baby needs to eat in the mall, I’ll find myself a public bathroom and nurse there, no ifs, ands, or buts. If we’re in the park and she needs to eat, we all go home so I can nurse privately. Even in my own home, I don’t nurse in front of my older children, even though I’m always completely covered when I nurse. I go into my room and lock the door every time I have to nurse. Maybe the fact that I’m usually so makpid on this is the reason that I took everyone’s comments so hard.

    “MIA –

    Um, I know its a free country, but that was really beyond reasonable. Could you not have gone to the restroom? I know, its your right to do so, and most likely you wore a coverup, but still, very unexpected from one us. “

    Very unexpected? Every single frum woman I have spoken to about this sits in her seat and nurses on the plane. The restroom on a plane is not an option like the restroom in a mall. Firstly, the smell in there is usually terrible due to lack of appropriate ventilation. I know there are women who feel feeding in the bathroom is not fair to the baby, and as I mentioned before, I’m not one of those. But I can’t put either one of us through sitting in there for 20 minutes when it smells like that.

    Secondly, there aren’t enough bathrooms on the plane for me to occupy one for a 20-minute feeding. There are always lines for the bathroom and it would be unfair to everyone to do that. And the incessant knocking on the door would be very disturbing.

    I am always completely covered when I nurse. There is nothing showing that would make anyone uncomfortable. I do understand that it can make someone uncomfortable just to know that I’m nursing, and that’s why in most situations I make sure to nurse privately. The plane is one of those situations when there really is no other option. And that’s why if you take a survey, you’ll find that even frum women generally stay in their seat to nurse when on a plane.

    And Sac, not all babies can take bottles. I’m not opposed to bottle feeding in general, but this is a baby with a chronic medical condition which makes it impossible for her to eat formula.

    in reply to: Someone Screamed At Me.. #748502

    Ctrl Alt Del, thanks for a much-needed laugh!

    in reply to: Baby formula #748673

    I’ve read that it’s actually like 5 daily birth control pills. I also read that it’s the dairy farmers that are publicizing all the negative information about soy so it should all be taken with a grain of salt.

    in reply to: sitting next to opposite gender on plane #749714

    I flew recently with a nursing baby and sat next to a young chassidish man. I was very uncomfortable and I think he was even more. Every time I nursed, it was clear he wanted to disappear. He had another woman on the other side of him so he was clearly in an awkward situation. I would have switched with him except that I really needed the aisle seat because I had a squirmy baby on my lap.

    in reply to: My New Subtitle #993324

    Thanks, mods!

    in reply to: Baby formula #748668

    Um, U followed by pareve is the Kosher dairy symbol?

    in reply to: kosher cell phones #748392

    My kosher phone has 27 or 28 rings–I don’t remember. Most of them are songs–MBD, Shwekey, Dovid Gabay, etc.

    in reply to: Baby formula #748657

    “There have been many quality control issues with non-us brand formulas in terms of nutrition needs many people in Eretz Yisrael and Europe supplement with vitamin drops due to deficiencies”

    I researched this thoroughly and there is no truth to the above statement. Formula in EY are comparable to American brands and vitamin drops have nothing to do with lack of nutrition from formula. Even breastfed babies are given vitamin D drops.

    in reply to: nursing to bottle-need major help #747515

    How about a sippy cup instead of a bottle? And at 10 months, he might be able to go to regular milk instead of formula (with your doctor’s okay). Do you have to wean very quickly or do you have time to do it gradually? I always found that cutting out one feeding every week or two worked the best with my kids. The ones right before nap time and bed time are the last ones I cut out, but little by little, those get eliminated too. I don’t start giving bottles until I’ve completely stopped nursing, and then it’s only 1-2 bottles a day. By the time my babies stop nursing, they’re old enough for regular milk so we go straight to that.

    in reply to: Baby formula #748621

    Not all Materna is Cholov Yisroel. In EY, there’s regular milk formula, soy formula, and Materna l’Mehadrin. Only the Mehadrin one is Cholov Yisroel. I don’t know what they sell in the US so I’m just mentioning that.

    in reply to: Sciatica #747107

    My kid is usually awake but is 2.5 and doesn’t dress himself yet. Even when he’s awake, I can’t dress him standing up.

    Visualizing and feeling usually does work. Occasionally things disappear and I find myself bending. My kids and husband do help but they’re not always around–they’re out of the house most of the day. When it’s only me and the 1-year-old, then things can get fun.

    in reply to: Sciatica #747105

    Thanks, Health. I do have good posture normally. Sitting on a straight chair is fine for some situations, but have you ever dressed a sleeping child sitting in a chair? It’s either his bed or the couch for that. I supposed I could sit in a chair when I read to my kids, but it’s so much cozier to sit with them on the couch. I do bend and lift using my knees when I can, but my stomach often block my vision that way and I can’t see what I wanted to pick up! I end up leaning forward from the waist so I can see what I’m doing. My stomach is pretty huge this time and that seems to complicate things.

    in reply to: Sciatica #747103

    Thanks, always here!

    in reply to: frum clown, or clowning around? #746983

    Are you male or female? If you’re female, I can see where it would be a tznius issue, but if you’re male, it sounds great for you. We really benefited from a medical clown when my child was very sick in the hospital. This clown was a frum man too. He somehow sized up each kid in a matter of seconds and knew exactly what was appropriate for each one. My child was not typical and would not have understood most of what he was doing, but somehow he found the way to reach out and get through to each one in his/her unique situation.

    in reply to: Sciatica #747100

    Health, I did see that but it’s easier said than done. I have a bunch of young kids and do have to sit down with them sometimes. I sat down on my son’s bed this morning to dress him and couldn’t get up after that. On Shabbos, I sat on the couch to read them a story and couldn’t get up. It’s easy to say not to bend or lift but life does have to go on. When there’s help available, I do take advantage, but sometimes I get myself into a mess and then pay the price.

    Yank, this is definitely not constipation related. Someone is just sitting in a bad spot on my nerve and no matter how much I ask him/her to move, s/he ain’t going nowhere. I feel flip flops inside me all day and night, but s/he is staying firmly planted right in that spot.

    And I don’t drink peppermint or fennel tea anyway. 🙂

    in reply to: Sciatica #747094

    Rockymountains, I am going to try those exercises as soon as someone gets home because I will definitely need help–my stomach seems to get in the way of everything. Thanks for the tips!

    Health–I have no doubt that what I have is sciatica, hence the title of this thread. 😉 Changing positions sometimes helps, but sometimes I’m too paralyzed to get out of the painful position. Every time I make the mistake of sitting on the couch, I’m stuck and can’t get off my hip. I have to try to lie down and roll off the bad hip and then somehow get off the couch. It’s not always easy.

    in reply to: THE PURIM (urim) STORY (ory) Fan Club #1219218

    My kids have this CD and I think it’s incredibly well done. I do have one little issue with it and I was wondering if I was the only one bothered by it or not. The words “Tell your stupid master” did not sit well with me. I understand the context and who’s saying it about whom, but language that doesn’t pass in our house and it really disturbed me. The “Here comes Haman” song was also just a tad too jazzed up for my taste. Is it just my sensitivity or did anyone else here have issues with it?

    in reply to: Sciatica #747091

    Thanks, Health. I actually don’t have back pain. The pain starts at the top of my hips and radiates down my thigh until just above my knee. Some of those tips might be helpful though. The meds are one that I can’t do at all though.

    in reply to: Loud and obnoxious neighbors #754481

    We had the same problem as DY. Our neighbors downstairs were constantly complaining about the noise. We had 2 kids then–a baby and a 2-year-old–and we had to make sure they never threw any toys, always took their shoes off in the house, never scraped any chairs, etc. etc. It was not a healthy way to live. At one point, we were out of town for 2 weeks and they came to complain to a different neighbor with whom we were close about how we always make noise. When the neighbor told them we were away, they suddenly lost their tongues. Eventually we moved out to a ground floor apartment where our kid can build with wooden blocks without worrying about them falling down, jump, bounce balls, etc. Some time after we moved out, our former downstairs neighbor (the one who had always complained) met me in the street one day and said that she has to ask for mechila. She claimed that she was suddenly having a lot of tzaros so she made a cheshbon hanefesh to see what she might have done to deserve this, and she came up with the realization that they had been very unreasonable with us. She said that her husband had been working nights and sleeping during the day and that that’s why she was constantly asking us to be quiet. Now that things were going bad for her, she wanted to make sure that we were mochel. It wasn’t easy but I told her that we were.

    in reply to: Sciatica #747087

    Lia, what kind of stretching exercises? I can’t take an antiinflammatory because I’m in my 3rd trimester. I don’t think Tylenol would touch this either.

    Always here–I can relate to that not being able to walk 3 steps. I find the pain to be completely paralyzing. I understand your daughter’s fear of becoming pregnant too. I wish I had something encouraging to tell her but right now I’m more inclined to agree with her fear.

    in reply to: weight weight weight #746122

    There is no “normal weight”. It depends on your height and build. I’m 5′ 6″ and weighed 115 lbs. before the babies came along. Now I weigh quite a bit more like that but a lot of it is fetus/water/placenta. 😉

    in reply to: Sciatica #747083

    Thanks to all of you. I’m going to try out some of your advice.

    Always here, a heating pad sounds like it’s worth a try since I haven’t tried it yet. Thanks for the suggestion. Getting off my feet is what I try not to do since I’m fine when I’m standing. It’s getting up from sitting that really hurts, so I try as much as possible not to sit down in the first place. I do wear flat shoes. I might bring it up with my OB–nothing to lose by trying.

    Aries–Massage is what I’ve found to be most helpful. PT sounds like a good idea–I have to see if I can get it approved. Thanks!

    Ezrat Hashem–The thought of using a can doesn’t scare me at this point because the pain is so bad that I would try anything. I’ve been using a stroller to walk outside–leaning on the handlebar takes my weight off my hip. Thanks for your advice.

    in reply to: My New Subtitle #993292

    Mod–I’m not the creative type so anything you choose for me is good.

    in reply to: My New Subtitle #993263

    Me!

    in reply to: Eating late at night #746881

    I work night and often don’t get around to eating supper until 11 pm. I’m usually starving by then so I eat more than I would eat otherwise.

    in reply to: Torah vs. Toyrah #745536

    “stickynote- How about koogel and kugel?”

    Don’t you mean kugel or kigel?

    in reply to: Ladies, do you say ??? ???? ???? and ??? ???? ????? #745506

    Thanks, DY.

    in reply to: Ladies, do you say ??? ???? ???? and ??? ???? ????? #745499

    DY, Can you summarize those for those of us who don’t have time or energy to read through it all? (Assuming you’ve already read it.)

    in reply to: What do you do to get out of a bad mood? #745841

    Take a nap.

    in reply to: Ladies, do you say ??? ???? ???? and ??? ???? ????? #745494

    Okay, after speaking to my daughter again, there seems to have been some kind of miscommunication (why doesn’t spell check like that word?). Her teachers did not teach her to say ???? and ????. They taught her to say what it says in her siddur, ??? and ???, and that was the way she had been saying it in 1st and 2nd grade. Now that she’s in 3rd grade, her teacher told them to say the brachos quietly on their own, and she says that most of the girls in her class say ???? and ????, so she assumed that that must be the preferred nusach and starting saying it that way herself. I don’t know why the girls in her class are saying it this way, but I told her that she should go back to saying it the way she used to say it until we research this further. I do feel a little better now knowing that this came from her classmates and not her teachers.

    in reply to: I heard from a *Realiable Source* #744899

    Shticky Guy, I agree with you that if someone posts that they got psak from Rav Elyashiv, it doesn’t blow their identity. OTOH, if I would post that I got a psak from a certain posek who taught in my seminary, and I would write his name, that would give some identifying information about me. Or if the posek was a local Rav from my small hick town, people might know where I was from. I don’t think anyone hesitates to quote gedolei hador because of fear of losing their anonymity.

    in reply to: Tznius at the gym #744889

    I’ve seen many women go into the pool in a t-shirt, skirt, and snood. Most of them came to watch their kids though, not to actually swim. I personally wear a long t-shirt that covers my knees. I also keep my hair covered either with a bathing cap or a snood. I’m just more comfortable that way. And I’m not overweight.

    in reply to: kids afraid of appliances #744941

    I’ve had kids who were afraid of the noise and kids who would davka come close for a better listen. The ones that were afraid eventually outgrew it and do not have sensory issues. I don’t think it’s anything out of the ordinary.

    in reply to: Ladies, do you say ??? ???? ???? and ??? ???? ????? #745491

    Thanks for your input, everyone. I think I will ask a Rav about this and, if necessary, talk to her teachers about it.

    usbaers, I was taught to say it after asher yotzar despite the fact that most siddurim have it differently. I now use a siddur that has it after asher yotzar–I think more are coming out that way since that’s the more accepted opinion.

    in reply to: Ladies, do you say ??? ???? ???? and ??? ???? ????? #745485

    It’s a girls only chareidi school. Some of the teachers are chassidish and some are litvish, but all are ashkenazi and chareidi. It is in EY.

    in reply to: HATE #745265

    I used to be that way. I would eat anything I wanted to and still remained extremely thin. A few pregnancies and births down the line, I can tell you that that has changed. I am still thin, but I can no longer eat anything I want. Chances are the same thing will happen to those people you hate. 🙂

    in reply to: Ladies, do you say ??? ???? ???? and ??? ???? ????? #745479

    Jam, my daughter was taught that also. I was not. I still say “modeh ani”, but I supposed I should try to get used to changing that.

    As far as the brachos go, I don’t know what to make of it. She’s in the 3rd grade and says that all of her teachers since 1st grade have been saying it with them this way. I would think that I would have seen it written in the siddur if women were supposed to say it differently. It seems a little strange to me that she was taught this way when I have never heard of it before.

    in reply to: Who do you perceive as the happiest person you know? #744994

    I once heard Rabbi Hanoch Teller speak, and he said that a wise person once told him, “The happiest people I know are people I don’t know well.” There’s a lot of truth to that statement. Everyone has their challenges in life–you just might not know it about people you aren’t close with. OTOH, the way people handle their challenges is what will determine how happy they are.

    in reply to: changing your spouse #744823

    I also read this as changing your spouse for someone else, like changing your socks. I’m glad to see I was wrong.

    in reply to: Finding Out if It Will Be a Boy or Girl? #1028741

    My good friend is a midwife and she says you can tell which moms know the gender and which don’t. According to her, the ones that don’t know are much more willing to work hard to get the baby out as quickly as possible. I think there is something to the surprise issue. We never ask about our babies. I’ve had boys born on Thursday and Friday and somehow we got a shalom zachor together on time.

    in reply to: Advice Needed for Automatic Water Heaters for Israeli Showers #743394

    And ditto twisted–changing the guf chimum makes a world of a difference. The recommendation is to change it once a year. When ours is new, 15 minutes is usually enough for a hot shower. Our is currently overdue for a change, and when it’s cold and rainy, it can take an entire hour to heat enough water for one shower.

    in reply to: Advice Needed for Automatic Water Heaters for Israeli Showers #743393

    We had one many years ago that did not last very long or work very well. It’s very possible that they make them better now or that we just did not have the best kind.

    in reply to: bedwetting in camp?????? #1211807

    Health, alarms do not work for everyone. There are people who just have to wait until it’s outgrown on their own. My friend’s son is 14 and still wets his bed. She took him to top doctors in Israel and nothing helped. In his case, it’s hereditary–both his parents have siblings who were bedwetters until their teenage years. All the doctors she went to told her to just wait until it stops on its own, whenever that may be. Until then, he uses Good Nites and does not sleep away from home.

    in reply to: Requset for YWN #743401

    You mean one that will tell you if you wrote “requset” instead of “request”?

    in reply to: Need help with baby! #743414

    Feberization has worked well here too. I also suggest putting the baby in a room alone until he’s sleeping through the night. It might take a few nights but it doesn’t usually take longer than that You can do it without a bottle–my babies didn’t drink bottles at that age. I was just careful to make sure they were well fed before putting them to bed.

    in reply to: kinesiology #742976

    Health, I’m sorry to hear about your daughter. I hadn’t realized that you had children prior to your divorce. I hope you can understand that I’d prefer not to give details about my loss because it was very unique situation and anyone who knows me would be able to identify me. It’s not just a one-sentence answer.

    in reply to: bringing babies and small children to megillah reading #743023

    QuestionForYou, I was not implying that this halacha makes it okay to bring babies to shul. I’m adamantly against that and always go to a different reading than my husband so the kids can stay home. We let our kids come once they’re around 7 and only after a little lecture on how important it is to be quiet.

    in reply to: kinesiology #742973

    Health, we paid a small fortune which I’m embarrassed to give more detail on. We went to her because she came highly recommended by friends of ours who claimed that she cured their mono with one session. We had no idea what it was and we were dealing with a life and death situation with our child. Guess what? Despite her treatment, our child is no longer alive. Maybe if we would have gone for that second session…. (Don’t worry, I’m not serious.)

    in reply to: yonatan shainfeld #745986

    LOL! Thanks for the laugh, mbachur.

    I never heard Yonatan Shainfeld and don’t know any of his songs, so I can’t help you here.

    in reply to: Women & Girls Out There: I Really, Really Need Your Help!!!! #747704

    I have to second what pumper said. In my community, I have no yetzer hora to wear short skirts because it’s completely unacceptable here. I would be the odd one out and definitely feel out of place. When you’re in an environment where “everyone does it”, it’s that much harder. It’s not so simple to pick up and leave your neighborhood, job, etc., so it takes a tremendous amount of resolve to make a change like that. I give you credit for taking the first step, having the ratzon to change, and I wish you much hatzlacha in succeeding in this. You do have the koach to do it–and it will get easier with time if you keep at it.

    Popa–Most women can’t wear the same clothing at 16 and at 26. Firstly, things goes out of style (and there’s nothing wrong with dressing in style, as long as it’s not a tznius problem). Second, as other posters wrote, women’s bodies change. Tops are suddenly too fitted when they were never a problem before, skirts become too tight, etc. A few kids down the line, very few women can still fit into their sheva brachos clothing.

Viewing 50 posts - 251 through 300 (of 450 total)