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“Personally, sometimes some of the “silly talk” we have is the best talk we have.”
“Simple. For our relationship, a certain amount of humor is necessary for the growth and health of the relationship.
Tell me, missme, how much talk should be permitted?”
Thats not for you to decide. did you ask a rav how much talk is the right amount? Did you ask if your aloud to have “silly talk” especially when the mishna clearly sayz your not supposed to talk too much?
A bris should always be ontime unless its a danger to the baby.
“Nowadays, however, we see that animals with these defects DO manage to live longer. “
No they dont. If Chazal says they die in 12 months then they die in 12 months.
I also like yerushalyaim by Abie rotberg. its a great song.
“What exactly is wrong with spending time with your kids shbbs afternoon, after you learned with them? You can’t pressure kids with learning ALL DAY. “
Iagree that they cant learn all the time. But there are so many other things to do. Read them stories of the gedolim then. Play a torahdik game (not the ones he mentioned). Sing zemirois with them. There are lots of other good things to do rather than waste time playing games on shabbas.
“Since the kids are in school all day, why do you think it’s so bad that my wife out learning/working while they aren’t home? “
Its bad because what if the kids come home early? Who will be home for them if your wife is working? It should be assur for a woman to work unless there is really no other choice and only a rav can make that choice.
Gedolim dont read newspapers.
“But do you always do as you say? Because you usually are VERY extreme with ur opinions and it just seems like ur telling everyone what they’re doing wrong and I doubt ur doing these things yourself. “
im not perfect. Sometimes I slip up. But atleast Im ashamed enough about it that I dont brag about it online. I dont brag about wasting my shabbas or my kids shabbas playing games that dont mean anything.
not like what wolf means. that was a spirtual love. How can you say that Yakov “loved” Rachel before marriage like a girlfriend?
“the CR is gemara or mishnayis?”
Neither. But since most of the topics are torah-related its not too far from learning. But anyway I learn all day and my rosh yeshiva agreed with me that I dont have to spend every minute learning at night if Im busy with it during the day and if wwill affect my learning during the day.
not a teenager. I got reshus from my rosh yeshva to go to college twice a week. its usually the only Internet acess I have so that’s when I post. Im usually not online the rest of the week so I cant realy respond to other members.
And I dont bash, I ask questions and give my opinion.
Besides if you plan carefully when cookng for shabbas you wont have any leftovers. Theres no real excuse to have leftovers after a shabbas meal.
Why do yeshivos even allow kids to take regents. you dont need them to graduate high school. You can get a nonregents diploma without them. The regents are such bittul torah.
“In addition to a good wife, mother and someone I get along with (and loved — that was important to me too), “
Love comes after marriage. The torah says yitzchak loved Rifka only after marriage not before. And the whole idea of being “in love” with yoru wife is silly, goyish and not rooted in teh torah. Your wife should be yoru partner and your helper and your ezer knegdo. Shes not there for romance.
“mosherose, who are you to make such a judgment? They clearly hold that it’s not a lav. Are you a posek that you can argue with them? “
Im not arguing with them, the gedolim who said its assur are. Im just following the gedolim like your supposed too.
“I had seen a special on TV about a week earlier”
Im shocked we even allow this sentance on YWN.
We have sunk so low. People are wasting shabbas playing games!
Shabbas is meant for learning and davening. Not for playing games. How about if you spent your shabbas afternoon learning with your kids instead? Besides the fact that theyll do better by learning you also wont be oiver on bittul torah.
“We should be emulating everything we know about the formative years of our nation, including not eating leftovers and not planning for the future. “
I agree. Theres a definite lack of bitachon in teh world today. Besides if a food has the kedusha of Shabbos Im not sure that its proper (even if its aloud) to be eaten during the week.
“I guess my kids will have to find their spouses the way I did… outside the shidduch system. “
You met your wife outside of a shadchan? I didnt think there were any frum yidden that really did that. I thougt it was a myth.
Frum yidden always do things btznius. Meeting your wife without a shadchan is a terrible breaking of tznius.
EDITED
How come you never see a gadol reading books? Because some1 with yiras shamayim doesnt read anything thats not torah. Finished.
“Children are NOT assets”
Your wrong. Children are the most valuable thing we have. How can you even think anyother way?
“I am always amused when people say that you should trust parents to have major input in your choice of a spouse.
Most parents today don’t even know what they themselves need, let alone their children. “
Most parents I know know exactly what theyre kids need and the kids go along with it becuz they no the parents no best. That goes for everything – who to marry, wehre to send the kids to school, where to go to shul, wehre to move to ect.
“Once the issue here has been reduced to asheila on a dRabbanan it is MUCH easier to rely on the meikilim.”
Why would enyone be meikel on a drabannan? Do we ignore Chazals words when its too inconvenent?
“Without getting into too much detail, there are places where one can not learn Torah 🙂 “
How much time do you spend there? not long enough to read a book.
“He quotes a Rashba that says that you should not cheapen or be “Mizalzel” in Minhag Nashim Zekeinos (old wives tales) since they are certainly rooted in holy ideas, even if we have forgotten the reason for them. “
Too bad it seems that some people seemto take joy in being mezalzel our minhagim and Chazal.
Glad hes not guilty. We new it all along. Too bad their going to keep him locked up anyway. Only goes to show that theyre all against us. Who else could be found not guilty and still be sentenced to a long jail sentence?
“Mosherose, clearly not if there is more than one person who says yes. I know of at least 2 rabbonim who say its ok. “
If their telling you to be oiver a lav of going on the harhabayis then tehir clearly not gedolim.
“And no…..Men and women are not equally illogical, sorry but it just isn’t so.
And to make it clear it is not the menn who are less logical.
Case after case shows that to be true.
And no……Feminism has caused more abuse not less.
It has ruined the very idea of marriage and family and promoted all kind of criminal activity that hurts everyone men as well as women and this is besides abuse and workplace discrimination faced by men from man hating feminists as well as reverse discrimination which is rampant throughout the entire private industry thanks to all kinds of feminist anti Constitutional laws.
Before feminism……Families used to be together and raise the children to be civilized and respectful nwo the kids are raised as “latch key kids” who join violent gange like the Pagans which believe in gathering women and doing all kinds of things that can;t be mentioned here.
Many Jews have become totally lost to Torah specifically because of feminist ideals.
So no, it has done FAR FAR more harm, then good”
Amen. Women have to understand that the natural way is for men to rule over them. Women are not meant to be leaders or out in public more than necesary at all – see the Rambam on that.
“If you have a brain in your head, you know when chazal is exaggerating, and you don’t need confirmation. “
Chazal never exaggerate (except for the places where they say they are exagerating).
“When he wasn’t speaking “Mipi HaGevurah” he certainly was fallible. We know he made mistakes.”
All I know is that you have a lot of answering to do for claiming that Moshe Rabeinu made mistakes. Nothing could be further from the truth. I dont understand how youre not afraid to talk badly about Moshe or anyone else from Chazal.
“So you think it’s utterly impossible and incomprehensible that anything that Chazal or a latter rav says could possibly be influenced by their place/time/culture? You think that everything they said was said in a vacuum and eternally true regardless of changing social norms across the centuries/continents/cultures?”
Everything Chazal say is Torah. And Torah is ALWAYS TRUE no matter where you are are when you live. When the Torah says something its true. Teh Torah says that noone nows where Moshe is buried TO THIS DAY and its true TO THIS DAY. It was true, is true and will always be true – just like everything else Chazal ever said, because its Torah.
“Wolf: Chazal are not wrong. End of discussion; period.
Yes. That’s why I said “hypothetically.””
Even hypotehetically Chazal can never be wrong.
Places that become hangouts have to be banned. If it prevents one boy from talking to a girl then its worth the inconvenence to the rest of the teens for the tzibur.
Married couples should not be going out on “dates” or spending more time with each other than necesary to run the household.
??? ???? ???? ?? ?????–????? ????, ?? ????? ???? ????; ???? ???? ?????, ?? ????? ???? ?? ?????–???? ??? ?????, ????? ????? ????, ????? ???? ??????.
Men are suposed to be learning Torah teaching theyre sons Torah or supporting the family and women are suposed to be runing the household. Theres no reason for couples to have “free” talk time – its against what the Torah wants.
“However, there’s a certain feeling of it being the “first night” and many ppl feel that they want the night to be spent in a hotel setting.”
Theres no reason why anyone should need a hotel to make a night with their wife or husband special weather its the first night or any other time. I wish we could ban hotels altogether (except as emergency places to stay). Couples shoudlnot be spending nights in hotels for “romantic getaways”. They shouldbe at home bulding a bayis neeman.
I agree. We have to increase all the ahavas chinam toward clalyisroel that we can while eliminating sinas chinam.
Who doesnt have the apartment ready? What do you do on the second day? Stay in the hotel then too?
Theres nothing wrong with staying with family. In the heim new couples woudl spend their first years in parents houses before eventualy going out on their own.
“Just-a-guy: Their father or husband should be making the decision.”
No the gedolim should be making the desicion. The gedolim shoudl be telling the fathers and husbands what daas torah is and how to vote.
“Speaking as someone who was in high demand as a babysitter when I was a teen, I take exception to that categorization. In fact, I feel the experience I had as a babysitter as a teen better prepared me for fatherhood.”
Noone should ever leave their kids with a male babysitter. Women are much safer. i don’t know who left their kids with you but I wonder about theyre abilities as parents if they left their kids with a teenage boy.
“Who are you to argue with them? “
Im not arguing with them. Every single gadol in the world is.
Romance is not a yiddeshe concept. Its a 100% goyishe idea that we have unfortunately taken in.
The Torah agrees that women dont have the same intellect to be able to run a society like men. The torah temimah made the case over eight hundred years ago when he said that women do not have the intellectual stablity that men do. Just like you wouldnt want children voting because theyre not mature enough.
I gave you a source. Rav Eliyashiv holds its assur for a women to drive because of lo yilbash, because men normally do that. driving is no differnt than cooking, ect
People earn money at home too. They can do things at home and then go to market to trade or sell there goods. or else the men can work.
Heres another example. Rav Eliyashiv holds that its assur for a woman to drive. Why? Lo Yilbash. The S”A says a man isnt allowed to look in a mirror. Why? Lo Yilbash. Anything that a woman does regular is part of Lo Yilbash. That includes cooking at home.
I have to give you a source for a pasuk? It says lo yilbash. We know that it includes anything which is normally done by women. That includes dieing hair, carrying a weapon (for a woman) and so on.
How can anyone leave a chasana? What about the mitzvah of simchas chasan v’kallah?
Yes, if someones wife is about to have a baby or something like that he can leave, I’m not unreasonable. But to just leave without a real good reason?
Its frightening whats happening with tznius these days. Women arent ashamed to wear anything in public anymore. I’ve seen (although I wish I didnt) women wearing tight outfits in public wearing no stockings and so on. And on Shabbos there are all these women out and about. Whatever happened to the halacha in the rambam where he said that women should only be allowed out a few times a month when they need to (like to get something from the market)?
We need our schools to teach proper tznius again like it was taught in the heim.
“Aha ok I hear you. I guess we’ll each deal with our marriage each to their own. “
Not when its against the Torah. When its against the Torah its my (and your) job to set the marriage straight since kol yisrael areivim zeh lzeh.
I didnt say he shouldnt help in the house. I said he shouldnt do things on a regular basis that women normally do. Their are plenty of things for a man to do to help around the house. Their are mens jobs and womens jobs. Cooking is a womans job.
Avraham only listend to Sarah because Hashem told him to. Otherwise, he was the boss in the house.
smartcookie. technically youre right, but the minhag now is to have cheesechake and minhag yisroel torah hu.