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“If you were the musician, would you be happy with people doing this?”
What the torah says is right and proper has nothign to do with what you would want if you were the musicin.
“It could also be societal/cultural as well.”
When our gedolim make a decree they dont do it becuz of culture. What goyish culture does doesnt mean anything to us. if they dont call there wifes by there first names than its because thats what the Torah wants of them (and us). It has nothing to do with goyish culture or goyish society.
“and we had a room with our own private pool (not very large, but still private and ours).”
We talked about mixed swimming before. Its still assur.
“They make accommodations for kosher meals (you get the airline-style meals).”
How do you know their not openeing them up before heating making them treif and then reseeling them before serving the dinner to you? How could you go anywhere where there is no hechsher on the food?
“Aside, if you’re a ba’al kriah, you must be careful to differentiate between yiru (they saw — pronounced with a sh’va nach) and yir’u (they feared – pronounced with a sh’va na).”
My rebbi never told us about such a difference and he knows dikduk far better than someone like you.
“to my even talking/interacting with my nieces at all.”
yes thats it. Since you could marry her shes no diffrent than any other unmarried woman whom you shouldnt be talking to.
“I will not simply back out of their lives.”
Then yur not keeping the torah. The torah demands that men keep far away from women who arent married to them or immediate reletives.
“However, I’ve always found that explanation to be unsatisfying”
Who do you think you are to find a maamer chazal to be unsatisfying? If they tell us the reason is so that the umos haolam cant say that they would have kept the Torah then thats it. Theres no questioning a maamer chazal. Only someone with a lot of chutzpah and azus panim would even think of doing it.
“(Aside from being ridiculous, it’s also a causal paradox.)”
Whats a casual paradox?
Kaas is a terible thing. We should all try to be patient when we can.
Fine Ill tone it down.
“He’s 12 years old. For some reason that I can’t fathom, he’s taken a liking to me. He always requests to hold my hand in the street — and I let him.”
Its very inapropriate for you to be holding a 12 year old boys hand in the street if yur not his parent.
“If we are supposed to have bitachon, then why so many shidduch investigations? “
Thats differnt because weve always done it that way. Checking out the other side in a shidduch is part of our mesorah see rashi on achos nachshon.
“I once made the mistake of trying to give Eeees green eggs before we were married. I guess I’m lucky she married me anyway. :)”
1. A man shouldnt cook. Its a womans job
2. An unmarried couple shouldnt cook for each other its not tznius.
I think hie is right about the eruv. If some1 uses a eruv to play ball it does make it pasul for every1. My rebbe told us this.
No. Kibud and yirah are not the same. Ones respect and ones fear.
“Yet it does apply to nieces nephews aunts and uncles. “
So fine. He sholdnt play games with his neices and if he was a woman she shouldnt play games with her nephew. Happy?
“Now it’s just too expensive”
So what are yur kids doing this summer? Are they going to day camp or will they just waste the summer away?
“but for any shalom bayis to work there has to be MUTUAL RESPECT.”
I agree their has to be mutual respect. But the man is still the boss — thats the proper torah way to run a mariage.
“and not be scared of what everyone’s saying or thinking. “
You are suposed to be scared of yur parents. Ish imo vaviv tirau.
“was saying taht if your not allowed to talk to a niece cuz she is allowed to marry you than kal vechomer for a nephew adn aunt which is one of the assur marriages.”
If you hold that then a father could never talk to a daugter and a son to a mother. But we no thats not the case. Obviusly yur wrong.
“It’s not streight out assur.”
see the post I put up a few minutes ago. it is strait out 100% no questions asked clear as day assur.
sorry but no. When you have people who openly disobey the Torah and then try to twist the Torah to their sick way of thinking I will not be quiet and calm down.
EDITED
Its terrible how the system is so AntiSemitic and against us. He was found not guilty at his trial and still put into jail for 27 years. Anyone who wasnt a yid would have walked out a free man after the jury said not guilty. America has lost all respect from me. I wont salute the flag anymore or show it any respect at all since its shown that all it wants to do is lock up innocent yidden.
“is it possible for you to tone it down a bit?? “
Not when their are people around who openly go against what the Torah says.
So if Im wrong, whats the hetter to be sad when it says mitzvah gedola lihiyos bsimcha?
No I meant that because an uncle is aloud to marry a neice its like any other unmarried boy-girl and assur. A boy can talk to his aunt because shes assur just like a sister or his mother and so wont think of doing anything with her.
Romance is 100% goyish and anyone who does it is probably oiver on chukas hagoy. Did you ever see a gadol be romantic? No becaus its not in our mesorah.
its a terrible averia to hold hands with yur wife. Ill even show the sources.
The Sharei Rachamim (25:6) says right out that its assur to walk next to your wife in public and hold hands. The Manhegi Anshei Hatorah (perek 3) says that your not aloud to call your wife things like honey, dear etc in public.
EDITED
“I’m just curious as to the classification of such material as Loshon HaRa. “
If the rav says its lashon hara then its lashon hara. Why are you causing problems by questioning the rav?
“how did our grandparents or even parents all get married and have kids without Dor Yeshorim? how come theyre fine?”
They did fine becuz they had bitachon. Thats something we dont have today so we have to ahve Dor Yeshorim since we dont have bitachon anymore that Hashem will give us healthy kids.
“What if I see a different path in Avodas HaShem for myself? Is Lakewood the *only* way to go?”
In the yeshivish world, yes. Lakewood or the Lakewood style is the only way to serve Hashem. We serve him through learning Torah no other way is nearly as good.
“Take a look at Shir Hashrim.”
Take a look at the meforshim. It about torah and clal yisroel. It has NOTHING to do with romance.
“Life’s too short to live a lie. Either live the yeshivish dress, or else let your parents know how you truly feel about it.”
I guess kibud av vaim mean nothing to you. If his parents dont want him to wear jeans he shoudnt be wearing them. PERIOD
“Again, I don’t see why you say it has to be that way. If it works for your marriage — great. But not every marriage is that way.”
WRONG!! It hasta be that way cause the Torah and our gedolim say it has to be that way. Are you smarter than Rav Miller? Are you bigger than chazal? The Torah says the man is in charge vhu yimshol bach. Any other way is not kosher and not the way the Torah wants a marraige to be run. I realy think you should ask a shaila about yur marriage since you seem to keep doing things kneged the Torah and all kidushin and marrages have to be kdas Moshe vyisroel.
“When I was debating the issue of eruvin with a poster on these boards, he made the ridiculous assertion that one person misusing an eruv makes it invalid for everyone. When I asked him to back up his statement, he gave me a very generic sounding name of a sefer for which he couldn’t provide an author, time/place of publication or anything else that could help me track down the source. Knowing more about the poster now, I’m again fairly confident that he made it up.*”
Because you couldnt find the sefer he made it up? Im ready to bet that hes right the sefer is real and the eruv is passul if someone doesnt use it write.
“That precisely was the point of my previous post- mental health has nothing to do with kids going off the derech. “
Wrong. Anyone who goes off the derech is at least a little bit crazy. Ain adam chotei ele im kain nichnas bo ruach shtus.
Besides what sane person wants to leave the beauty and piece of mind that the Torah gives us?
“The wedding night is a very special night and go to a place where you dont have the urge to unpack your unopened boxes is a good idea. “
You still dont have to go to a hotel. You can just go home and not unpack.
Only goes to show you that their all Anti-Semites. He was found not guilty and hes still going to jail for 27 years. I will never again salute the flag or say that i love the way america treeted the yiden. we need to get out of this horrible land and get to eretz yisroel where we belong.
“I remember quite clearly one time in school mentioning in class that the previous Friday night we had meatballs and spaghetti for the Shabbos seuda. When my rebbi at the time heard that, he practically flew into a rage, telling everyone that meatballs was a weekday meal and “not good enough” for Shabbos. In his opinion, our having meatballs and spaghetti meant that we weren’t showing the proper kavod to Shabbos. I didn’t tell him that this was something that we *only* had on Shabbos — at that stage of the game I hadn’t yet learned how to spot fallacies and debate — not to mention the fact that I was quite a bit intimidated and surprised at the outburst.
Heh. To this day, meatballs and spaghetti is still a Shabbos favorite in our home. And, yes, it is a Shabbos treat and it does make Shabbos special for us (since we don’t have it during the week — except as leftovers).”
Yur rebbe was right and yur wrong. Meatballs and spageti is not a shabbas meal! Its a regular weekday meal. At night you should have chicken and during the seuda at day you should have chulent. Those are the main shabbas meals. Yes you can have some other things but not meatballs and spigeti!
“But he wasn’t saying what he does in his house, he was sayng what I should do in my house — and his suggestion that it is improper for me to have said picture is completely and utterly made up. If not, then please show where I am subject to *his* minhagim or interpretations of halacha.”
Since he clearly nos halacha better then you you should listen to him.
“I would tell them to get a different mohel.”
And now you know better than a moihel how to know if a baby is ready for a bris?
“Mosherose you were sarcastic, werent you?”
No I was completely serius.
“mutar 100%.”
because its technically mutar doesnt mean you shoudl do it. Naval breshus hatorah and all that.
Again, unless there is absolutely no way to get it from a yid, you should always buy from a yid.
Depression is assur. Mitzva gedola lehiyos bsimcha tamid. Of course there are times were aloud to be sad (at a levaya or on tisha bav or something else like that) but to be sad for no reason? Thats completely assur.
“One Shabbos, just for a change, we did everything in green. :)”
Theres NO excuse to have anything besides white. Who gave you a heter to make a mokery of shabbas by makign everything green? Shabbas is holy and speshil not yur plaything.
“And how do you determine “tightness?””
Thats why we have the gedolim to answer these questions.
“My kids don’t have cell phones — and they’re all teens.”
Wow. Somethign I can finaly agree with you about.
“Don’t Chareidim use the roads, utilities, defense, police and fire as well?”
Dosnt matter. Since theyre support eretz yisroel with theyre learning they shouldnt have to pay any taxes. The learning IS theyre “taxes”.
“Of course, you’ve got to play with the doubling cube. :)”
The gemara says that mesacheik bkuvya is pasul for adus.
“Perhaps I can even get my daughter and one of my nieces or nephew to join in for a six player game. “
Besides bitul torah and everything else I said you shouldnt be playing games with yoru niece becasue its arayos. Since you can marry your neice yur not aloud to have any contact with her just like anyother strange woman.
My world is teh torah world. In the torah world we dont waste shabbas afternoon playing games with no meaning.
Im in my 20s.
You should always buy from yidden. Why is this a kasha? The only time not to by from a yid is when there is no Jewish store that has what you want to buy.