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my pleasure;) well they say that after gil chinuch it’s mainly the fathers responsibility for the son up until then the mothers. the mother is responsible for the daughter up until she is married. but again, everyone is diff so you do what works for you!

So you are saying if a guy doesn’t know what he wants career wise he souldn;t get married until he has decided what he wants out of life.. what if this takes him until he’s in his late 30’s what happens then??? what is the psak for a girl regrds to this???;) I always was taught ben shemona esray lchupa. and that;s what I did. times have changed I see…

watch the video cry no more. it’s going around on facebook. very inspirational. i would post the link but I don’t think the mod will allow it to go through…

most girls will not look into a smoker. asmoker says alot more about him than just pashut that. single guys just don’t smoke if you know whats good for you.

the story is very inspiring and uplifting. However there’s no way to prove that it’s actually true. Although it is true that Moshiach can come at any moment… and one should be just as excited for it without dreams like this sort.

What’s better intelligence and average-ugly looks OR Ultra pretty, slim girl with moderate, little or no brains????

personally I’d rather the intelligence over the ultra thin pretty girl. You can’t emotionally relate to someone that you are not itellectually on par with.

Your making me jelous I don’t even have a computer. So I’ve never been on the YWCR in my whole liphe.

GoLearnTorah

Member

“But it’s ok for frum women to work in male professions outside the home.”

LOL!!!

He could have certain issues that is preventing his mindset of regarding merriage as a priority in life… He made need help in this area. It might even be damaging to the girl and himself if they do marry at this particular stage…

Or prehaps he just want to be financially stable before contemplating this at all…

These people’s kids will not end up “messed up” because they dont know how to fit in modern orthodox communities.

nO YOU DIDNN’T GET MY POINT, i was saying these pple that make the groisse jump from being irreligious to a chasssid/altra yeshivish thier kids don;t fit in, as a result they go searching, and they don’t belong in either sect. some of which become MO wanna be’s, but they lack the education and that particular upbringing that the rest of the MO’s posess as a result they are not accepted in either sect. If you read my second post there’s a solution to this crisis.

yentingyenta- I’ve mentioned before that I know who you are.. I’m not sure if you caught on though… If you want to post anything confidential I would strongly advise you to change your username…

Happy Birthday again;)

& have a good shabbos.

If it is true it practically replaces an event diary..How cool;)

it’s in bold, you can’t miss it;)

the Americans;)

you can only give a bracha on the night of your birthday? I thought that the entire birthday she can give brachos!

Toi

Shruikin

“wolf- purple people are bad.”

Posted 1 hour ago #

because black and blue make purple?

Thankyou Nechomo, commonsense, and everyone else..

NO, thank g-d my hubs is not demanding.

commonsense- I know that a house wifes job is much harder than working a full time job. I just feel that the money wouldn’t belong to both of us, if I didn’t work alittle for it as well, and that is the only reason why I work, My husband understands this..

“If you would not feel bad buying things for the children with his money, why should you feel bad spending it on things you need? “-that’s a good question. I don’t know how to answer it.

Maybe I need therapy for this.. You guys are telling me it aint normal…

rosewood

Member

“optimus prime: The only reason for this mesorah is because color clothing wasnt so common then. So i think it is time for an update on this mesorah. There is no halacha of having to wear boring clothing. Maybe I will wear white oants and a black shirt tomorrow to yeshiva, that will really throw them off.”

Posted 1 hour ago #

good point, all the pictures are black and white from that timeframe how do you know your great great and a few more greats pos. grand father didn’t wear a pink hat with an orange feather?LOL;)

buy him a personal gym equipment for himself. desidnate a particular room for it. make him proud and motivated to achieve rather than making him feel like a nebbach.

take him out for qaulity father and son time. Make him feel special and worthy. take him bowling, rollerblading, iceskating, bike riding… there are numerous fun outlets that will actively make him fit. buy him a good branded pair of runners, t-shirt and shorts for his work out. he won’t want to disapoint you after all that effort. in the end he will feel better abuout it himself and will be eager to do it on his own without you encouraging it. at this particular stage they are going through a large growth spirt and it is likely if the food habbits are not funneled in the right way it can cause a major impact on the weight. encourage healthy eating for the entire family, not just him. remember you all need it!

how about some colored kippas;) with disney characters for each sect. donald duck will be for satmar. mickeymouse will be for vidgnitz, minimouse will be for belz, etc, etc.. 😉 the ladies should wear colored wigs. pink, purple, bright green, orange, rainbow colored… why stick to a normal hair color…lol;) women should wear nose rings the Imohos wore them.. so should they..;) no? the reason is is because nose rings nowadays are accepted upon the lower class goyim therefore a bas yisrael doesn’t do that nowadays. dressing formally adds to kovod hatorah. white shirts are formal attire. it’s become minhag hamokom in most yeshivishe sectors around the globe. for that reason alone it should be adhered to.

smartcookie, you’ve got a point. however I’m talking about the later stages where they are up to the 9th or tenth date they have the advantage of discussing the future together and working things through that would be detrimental later on if not discussed prior… i’m not saying that the dater covers eth before marriage, My husband and I left out a few detailed discussions before we commitment, that is normal, but the amount that the chassidim just accept and live with, without asking questions…can chas v’shalom build up resentment later on down the track.. You can say they are born into and it’s just like accepting a new brother or sister, however on this angle there is more than afew cons to this way.. They do say however that the percentage of divorces in the chassidishe oilom is far beyond less than the litvishe one. there is also no “shidduch crisis” in the chassidishe world..:) maybe there is a strong method to thier madness. maybe they are right and we are wrong..LOL;)but they do say however the amount of HAPPY litvishe marriages outweighs the chassidim by far! communication is one of the main key factors to a successful marriage. the chassidim don’t get much of that prior to marriage, so it’s no wonder… On a date you make decisions together. the chassidishe way is all in theory, however it’s gotta be l’masse in order to know for sure if it will work. On a litvishe date you decide together where you will be spending the time, etc.. you choose conversations. and you see l’maase how well you are able to communicate! i’m not bashing either way I’m just stating fact.

Get a stable contractual job. have a steady routine. have plenty of exercise outlets. Keep your house sparkling clean, that will help you think better and you will have much more clarity as a result. Wish you much hatzlocha in this!

dating, because you get a better idea of who and what they are. on a beshow, they are all stiff since usually the both sets of parents are sitting in the next room listening to every word!

ok you can say you only get to know the person after your married. However I’d say you see alot more through dating than you would see on a Beshow. I also think it’s important for a potential couple to discuss thier views and plans for THIER future rather than have the parents decide what’s best for them. talking things through avoids Alot more resentment later on.

I also think the boy/girl has to be mature enough to handle things. parents should teach thier children at an early age how to think for themselves.. How to be an individual etc… alot of parents make the mistake of having thier children relive thier lives… Never ever force a “child” Dater/Beshower into sth out of peerpreasure or age..etc… that will only be detrimental to the “child”.

SaysMe, you’re a smart guy.