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It may not be a top priority, but I think everyone aspires to be successful and have a nice home, car etc. it’s ok to admit we live in America and want to live comfortably with our families. Even if we are hidden first we are still Americans. I understand your point though, I just don’t take offense at these sorts of things.
I didn’t complain about how commonplace divorce is at all I was just asking about smoking, if you are referring to me. I don’t really know the rules required for a get. It is all new information to
Me.
I was not trying to be judgemental, what he said just actually does not make sense to me. Having a disagreement is not the sane thing as saying ” learn to spell” or ” do you k kw what grammar is?”.
I just remember in school learning about free will and what a big part of our lives it is. Ofcourse Hashem knows exactly what decisions and choices we are going to make, but they are ours to make and everything is not as clear cut as you make it seem.
On a different note I feel as though people In this thread are very very hung ho about jot going to games calling it assur etc.. But are defending those who look at shmutz and other bad things on line via the ” if your husband gets outed thread”. Which is worse? Studying up late while your wife is asleep looking at pornography or taking your sons to a baseball game?
Anyway.. Did not mean gone too judgmental before and I apologize.
What if the husband “promised” he would quit smoking let’s say before they got married, or by a certain time?
Do you read the words you are typing? So we are not supposed to have free will at all? Why don’t we all just live in a ghetto then, get allotted a certain amount of exercise time, food, bathroom breaks, etc and have our days mapped out to a T for us. You make no sense. What on earth would the point of our world be if what you say is true?
Waj, I completely agree with you.
It seems Judaism is now about controlling every aspect of our lives and leaving zero decision up to us. Everyone here is guilty of bitul Torah so get off the computers and go learn instead of insulting your fellow yidden because they are doing things you do not approve of.
Toi maybe to YOU smoking is not a reason for divorce, but maybe it is for so
Someone else. I would never ever ever have married someone who smoked. My husband smoked before we met as do many boy recently back from israel and in yeshiva, I said that I would never become engaged and marry someone who smokes and it was tough but he quit.
Don’t sit here and tell us what you think is reason or not for divorce. Why should someone who is healthy and takes care of themselves be with someone who does not value their own life? In my opinion if you are a smoker you are asking Gd for lung cancer so why should your spouse have to have their life turned upside down to care for you when you are doing it to yourself. Smoking is definitely in some cases a deal breaker.
I did not have time to fully play catch up due to the enormous amount of posts. From what I did read though, I didn’t see Snyone supporting buster crown. Everyone is so quick to say her husband needs endless support and understanding and love. He is doing something disgraceful and disrespectful to HKBH and to his wife. I am not saying that she should leave him but if she did entertain the thought, could you blame her? I think there are a lot of men posting here as if this is what they would want their wives to do if they had this taiva. Let’s not forget though that even if she does try and help her husband overcome this, if that is possible, she still needs understanding and reassurance that we do not all think she is doing a poor job as a wife and that is it all her responsibility to fix this.
You don’t “need” support from a Rav or family to make this decision. Would it be nice? Yes. But ultimately it is your decision. Does you wife/husband feel as you do? Have you gone to a marriage counselor and exausted other options? Only you know what is best for you. Good luck I hope everything works out as it should and you find true happiness.
Ben Levi, what is the divorce rate amongst frum Jews? Unfortunately I know such a large number of divorced couples. I am almost in the mod twenties and I know atleast 10-15 people who are around my age maybe a little older that we’re divorced within 2 years of marriage. My sister in-law for one would have benefited greatly from pre-marital counseling. Often when you date for 4 weeks you are just in the blissfully excited ” I’m getting married!” state that you don’t realize if someone is emptionally immature, hiding things from their past, etc. as much as we want to believe that shiduch system works, and many times it does, you do not know someone on that short of a time period, and many challenged arise once you are married so it could in many, not ALL, situations be helpful to get some things out on the table first and discuss them with an impartial 3rd party.
I think 147 was being sarcastic
many health insurance plans cover 10 or so sessions. Have you looked into that?
He was sick in the head. Correction he is sick in the head. We cannot understand how or why someone can do something like that.
It is not as simple as saying you need to try and show him more love. BH I have never been in this situation and clearly neither have any of you. If you ” caught” your husband doing inappropriate things on the Internet, it would not be that simple. Even if the root cause is not because he has lost his attraction to you, you are bound to feel that way. And to say it doesn’t make him “not frum” would you say the same about someone who occasionally eats at burger king but tries to stop. I just think it is more complicated than you are all making it seem.
My husband Davened by his minyan a whole bunch of times when he was in yeshiva and got the honor of getting a number of brachos from him as well.
Many brides wear fake eye lashes at their weddings, what’s the diff?
Am I missing something? I’m sorry you missed davening because you were afraid what others would think. How do we not all agree that it would have been better to make it to shul and daven with a minyan then miss out because of shorts. I also don’t see exactly what is so terrible about shorts. My husband wears them in the summer. I can bet you he has better midos then an enormous amount of the men walking around here in their jackets and vests etc. but everyone does their own thing for some wearing shorts is not appropriate. No one can really believe that it was better not to daven and that was his point. Society puts so much pressure on us and we are so afraid of what others will thing we end up making the Wrong decisions out of fear.
Why is it that people feel the need to embarrass others by pointing out mistakes in their grammar? It’s incredibly rude. BH this is anonymous because I would think lesser of every single person who does it.
I don’t know if anyone did or did not say that but.. When you have kids in camp for 8 weeks, visiting day is one of the most exciting times for them. They introduce you to their friends, show off what they have been doing all summer, and it is a chance to show then you gave missed them and they are worth the drive. Come on!
95% of girls wear them at their weddings. It’s not like she has c’v no leg and is wearing a prosthetic. They are very common.
I know you said that you grew up MO, but do you think societal pressures on young frum kids drive them to go OTD. By that I mean having to always be and act a certain way so, for example, as not to disrupt any potential shidduchim for them or a sibling. Pressures rhiarding learning, and tsnius, dating, appearances, everything really. It is just a question I am not trying to offend anyone, I too live in this society and I also want to make sure I am the best parent I can be, without forcing and pressuring my children and causing them chas v’shalom to go OTD
I know this is not what you are looking for but I just wanted to chime in. I was an only child until I was almost 13, my mother had a lot of trouble getting pregnant but bH did and I have a wonderful little sister. My first point is never give up, Hashem sends miracles when you least expect them, and we all support you here and send you good wishes.
Back to my point. People used to say the most in appropriate things to me such as, ” mom and dad only wanted one kid to spoil huh?”. Or people would say, ” you are probably happy mom didnt have more kids so you get all the attention”. People alwas say things without thinking. I wanted a sibling so terribly and wished everyday that my parents would have another baby. I wish we could just zip the lips of those who say hurtful things, even though they don’t mean it. Hatzlacha!!
I had a lot of out of town friends do this. Some i think it worked better than others. My very good friend came in to NY one time and literally had 7 dates lined up. She is very yeshivish and only planned to date very short and it was getting expensive coming in all the time. Mind you i never dated more than 1 guy at a time, was not for me at all, but it did work for my friend. Yes she compared them but who doesn’t do that? At that point she didn’t ” know” any of them, and she was dating for marriage, lived far away with no eligible guys in her area what was she supposed to do? I am not saying that i agree with the concept or disagree all i am saying is for some people it is easier that way.
hate when i do that! obviously everyone here knows that i meant to write, wears…!
Not a deal breaker. My husband where’s colored shirts. Then again he likes sports which everyone on here believes is assur so what do I know!
What is “bump!?!?” I keep seeing people discussing “bumping” a topic.
I completely bake mine, wrap it super tight and freeze and it literally comes out as good as new.:)
In the US it is slim to none. I dont really understand why. When my uncle was going through a divoce, with 3 kids, his now ex-wife was completely unstable, she had emotional issues, lied to everyone including the courts, yet she won custody. My uncle btw is and was a doctor with a stable home, income, life style. It made no sense.
Worst: Spanish. I can’t take it anymore!!! All I hear living in NY is Spanish this and Spanish that. Enough! When I make a phone call and I hear press 1 for English I flip out!!! It should always be English. Ahhh. America .
Best: ( English) and favorite accent is Australian!
Mattisyahu is not a good comparison. He grew up mo-dox, on his own became chassidish then decided it wasnt for him. He has been trying to find himself, fine but lets not blame the music industry because he got into music before he became frum. If anything i would say the spirituality in his music helped him in his journey, maybe he is a little lost now though.
They don’t have anything to do with each other. But the weather is beautiful, we all have off, my husband works on Sundays so we can almost never BBQ all together, so my family and parents and in-laws get together, BBQ, catch up, talk politics etc. so it’s not really the BBQ, we are just getting together as an extended family, loving our country and being together.
I celebrate it big time. America is my country bH I was born here!!! We have a big BBQ, a lot of my family and in laws get together, it’s a great day that we all have off of work, and can finally get together.
Lesschumras hahahaha I was thinking along the same lines. Well said.
I hear that. But my point is that everyone can sit here and pass judgement, but the truth is the vast majority of people on this site come from a very different background than Edon. I’m his community this is acceptable, good even because he is bringing positive attention to Jews and he is such a mentch. You can call its shmutZ and pritzus and fine maybe so, but all the goyim are going to think are, wow what a sweet boy with a beautiful voice, what great manners, wow I never see Jews on tv ever. And I agree that with all the negative publicity we have been getting lately, this puts a positive light on us Jews.
Ok so a chassidish kid wouldn’t go on the show, a kid who grows up watching this show and others like it, this is a dream for him. I see nothing wrong with it.
When I was in school we celebrated it. Most modern day schools do. As an adult I don’t.
Yes!
Red I totally agree. Guys he is a modern boy yes frum but let’s be realistic. He probably watches tv, I know that his siblings go to camp morasha which is a very modern orthodox camp. To some of you maybe this is shmutz and disgraceful, but it’s pretty amazing and closer to a Kiddish Hashem in my opinion than the things some of you are saying.
Not sure why you felt the need to go and do all of that research to try and prove your point. I didn’t say there was a fantastic solution to buying non Arab oil, I just said that is the conscious effort that I make. The discussion here is about target and if after what the OP stated, one thinks it is morally a good idea to still give them business. Stop trying to turn this into a bitter war about who knows more than who.