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The popularity of certain names tends to go in cycles. When I was much younger, Yiddish names were not at all common in many circles, and at best were given as a middle name not to be used until the ksuba was filled out! Now most Yiddish names are completely accepted and embraced by most segments of society, and I predict that its only a matter of time before “Shprintza” is accorded its place of honor.
As long as people are suggesting that we go back in time (pre- Rabbeinu Gershon) why don’t we take a lesson from the times of the Gemara when they celebated Tu B’Av, and all the girls BORROWED dresses in order for the poor not to feel embarrassed. [I’m sure that the boy who approached the girl did not first inquire how much her side would support.]
Having met the rebbe Rebbe Levi Yizchok several times, I always found it amazing that one expected a European accent when he spoke, but it was 100% Bostonian!
Ilove, skip the big-names and focus on friends and family. Reconnect with seminary friends. It just might be this kind of networking, with people who know YOU – not just your dress size and other chitzonius, is what you need. You deserve that.
B”H I have 2 married daughters who both met their husbands in their 3rd year after seminary. They both watched many friends get married before them, including many girls that were not size 2. Ilove, I think you need to try some other shadchanim.
We can’t lose sight of the fact that for the Ribbono Shel Olam, there is no “shidduch crisis”. Some girls (and guys) have the nisayon of having to wait longer than their friends to find their zivug. Some couples have nisyonos with fertility, others with parnossa. We certainly have to be mishtadel on behalf of everyone, but I’m guessing our most powerful tool is the age old “vitamin T” – tefilah and tehillim.
tbt: Did it sound like I was advocating bankrupting yourself on a piece of jewelry for the chosson? I was merely using that as an example of something that might be out of the hands of the chosson or kallah, depending on how strongly the parents felt about it. There’s unfortunately no end to the possibilities for disagreement if all 3 couples are not on the same page. Hopefully everybody will respect each other’s wishes and come to p’shara.
It’s beautiful to see that so many young people are considerate of their parents’ financial situations and are willing to “tone down” the gifts and non-essentials of a chasunah. Just a word of caution to these idealistic kids: it’s often not all your decision. Much agmas nefesh has arisen because either set of parents might feel social pressure to conform to their crowd and will insist on a more lavish affair than you want. “My sons in law all got gold watches! What? My son’s watch should cost $50.?”
You get the idea.