morahmom

A rebbe hitting a talmid is NEVER “good”.

Morah – Airports, airplanes and changing diapers are 3 situations that do not bring out the best in people. Having said that, I am certainly not excusing her behavior, but as a semi-frequent traveler it does not surprise me. I would probably have reacted as you did, and my husband would probably have told me to ignore her; she’s a nut, and embarrassing herself all on her own.

Yussel: Shang Chai was definitely classier.

Sometimes these guys end up even more shtark because of their experiences. Personally, at a kiddush, I’d rather see someone not drinking because they swore off alcohol to stay clean, rather than “Yeshiva guys” getting totally trashed.

How do you know that she wasn’t covering her hair? Sheitles can really fool you these days. I’m pretty savvy about these things and there are some women that I just haven’t figured out yet, but they surely “cover their hair”.

i know of a family from out of town that made 2 chasunas within 10 months, each one during a major weather “event” in NY. The first was during the major snowstorm at the end of 2010, when the city didn’t get plowed for days. That chasuna had to be postponed until the next night, because the chosson and kallah were in different boroughs and couldn’t get to each other. The poseik had said that if the kallah wouldn’t have friends at the chasuna, it should be postponed. By the way, the GO of the local Bais Yaakov (or whatever high school it was)called the caterer to find out of there was a simcha in the hall that night, and it there were people there, because if there weren’t, she could round up the entire student body to come and dance for the kallah! Mi K’Amcha Yisroel!

This families next chasuna fell out on the day the Hurricane Irene struck. B”H it was not postponed, though many catering halls on the Island had to cancel their affairs on that Sunday. Many people were not able to come because the hurricane hit different areas at different times, but those who were there made it a beautiful, leibadik event.

We should do what we can to keep the dates of the wedding, but it is certainly not worth endangering anyone’s safety.

Irrespective of the odds, something tells me that this is going to be a record-breaking raffle in terms of participation.

Signed by someone with a daughter in Seminary this year…

LKY – We are all in violation of many halachos, unfortunatley, and we have a way better education and understanding than these We never speak Loshon Horah? Are we ever guilty of Onaas Devorim, or even Onaas Mamon? How up-to date are we on hilchos Shabbos? Or even something basic like Kashrus? I don’t think that the answer to this question is to be sitting so high and mighty about how much frumer we are than our grandparents were. Whether they came from Europe or America, their chinuch was not what ours is. On the other hand, their middos and Emunah Pshuta can in so many cases put us to shame.

It sure seems to me that more people try to have their shailos paskened in the CR than seem to be calling competent Rabbonim…

Maybe people could leave their cell phones in the same place as their shoes, wallet and… what was the third item that wasn’t allowed to be brought in?

aproudbyg:

Chazki V’amtzi! Your are helping your brother so much by supporting him. My heart goes out to you for what you have to be soveil. Just know how common, R”L, it is to have an OTD sibling, and chances are those who are teasing you might have one, too.

abcd2 – Yasher Koach for your moving words. You’re absolutely right that the frei chilonim in E”Y need kiruv way more than any harsh words. It’s already 3 generations into the reality of the medina, and so many Israelis have been robbed of their Jewish Education. But they still know where they’re from…

Here’s a story that just happened last week. Someone in my community nebach lost his father and the kvura was in E”Y. This man was returning to the States immediately after the kvura. He came back and said that at the airport in Tel Aviv, so many total strangers – and among them many, many chilonim who had to cover their heads with their arms to make up for their lack of a yarmulka – saw him, assessed what had happened to him by the rip in his jacket, and stopped him to wish him HaMokom Yinachem.

I don’t know about you, but I never heard such a story coming out of JFK or Newark…

Zees – With all due respect, you’re a little black and white on an issue that that’s got a million shades of grey. I’m going to disagree that that “bilbul hamoach” is worse today than ever. Have you heard of the Haskalah? Have you studied what happened to Western European Jewry in the aftermath of the French Revolution? Would you prefer to go to Israel and land at Queen Elizabeth Airport and have your passport stamped by the British? Or a Turk?

We all have to realize that while the medina came about largely through the hands of anti -Torah personalities, it is a reality now. Yes, there are many, many problems as the government is not run by the Torah. However, as Rav Pam points out on Parshas Shelach, we should learn from the meraglim and not speak Loshon Harah about our Eretz Yisroel – yes, even the government. And, I would add, when it comes to Yom HaZikaron, please speak with respect about those who made the ulimate sacrifice for the safety of their people.

azoi – Interesting question you posed. I’ve been teaching for close to 30 years and B”H I’ve generally had very good relationships with my students. Oh – and we learn a ton. No party time in my class. But I try to never miss an opportunity to bring out points of hashkafa, no matter what the actual subject matter is. Kids are thirsting for hashkafa; they want things to make sense.

I just question why parents were left out of this question! Is it the sole responsibility of mechanchim to deal with kids and their questions? Parents need to be active participants and role models for their kids! They need to speak hashkafa – not just mussar – and explain things as well. And if parents don’t know the answers, they should model to their kids that it’s only proper to ask a rov.

As a mechanech, I don’t shirk my responsibilities, but I think we’d have less of a OTD issue if parents and mechanchim could work TOGETHER.

You have to remember that the Rosh Yeshiva, zatzal, lived in E”Y since the 1960’s. He lived in Mattersdorf, a neighborhood with Americans who did not seek an “American neighborhood.” Nor did he want an American style yeshiva.

He had no reason to be involved with American sports, other than the fact that he was raised in the US. In Boston, it’s quite a different story.

Have there not been enough CR discussions that indicate that there is no such thing as “average” anymore?! Anyway, sorry, writersoul, but even if your priorities match those of your stereotype, things just don’t always work out the way we hope and expect.

This is just another dangerous question if it leads our readers to get depressed because they are not in the societal norm.

Doniel, but I can’t remember why.

oomis – what’s so simple about providing suitalbe, kosher, enjoyable opportunities for kids to socialize like normal people? That doesn’t sound simple at all!

The suggestions given by others are great, but not for teenagers! Halevai kids would be streaming into Rabbi Reisman’s Shiur… but I don’t think the pizza patrons are.

I am looking at this discussion from many different sides: morah, mother, bubby, and wife of a principal. Any morah/rebbe who invests as much time and effort to get first graders to be “performance- ready” certainly wants there to be a crowd. Bubbys and Zaidys who live locally and are already part of the daily lives of the eineklach certainly want to share such a milestone. And yet, the administration needs to grapple with asking teachers to give up more of their personal time… which would not have them win any popularity contests.

It is a difficult call – but abcd2, I certainly appreciate your speaking up, on behalf of dedicated Bubbies everywhere. Maybe someone can figure out some p’shara that would work for more people.

Hi, Smart Cookie. No, sorry. We do the minivan thing with no vanity plates.

Hmmm, I’m so sure that I have NEVER seen any lack of tznius, be it in clothing or behavior, in the country over the summer… (please note the sarcastic tone)

I think that all Yidden who struggle with tznius issues should stop going to Walmart in Monticello, too.

I think it is important that at all levels – high school, seminary and beyond – we begin to inculcate girls with strong doses of the hashkafa that it is fine to marry a good, strong working boy, So many girls are very idealistic but really don’t have what it takes to really sacrafice for kollel life. There are very good working boys out there and it’s not a “boosha” to marry them!

Thank you, Zeeskeit! It is not just a father’s role to “give tochacha”; it is to be mechaneich and that relationship starts when the children are infants.

It is very true that if the only communication a father has with a daughter is one of giving tochacha, it won’t help very much to start in on tznius issues. While certain topics are less comfortable than others for fathers to address, there are many ways for fathers to express their opinions as well as to be the backbone for halacha for the entire family.

Interesting insight about the “why” situation, but I think the point about our “dress code” is really important. It’s one thing to have our bnos melochim shine in the area of tznius, which is always evident in the summer, but I think Jews should always be mindful of Yaakov’s warning to his sons: Lomo Tisrouh – don’t stand out in terms of gashmiyus. That doesn’t mean we should look shleppy; just tone it down!

I am not sure if the texting on Shabbos problem only stems from a lack of respect and understanding of Shabbos. Many reknowned frum psychologists who specialize in teens discuss the ADDICTION to texting. They compare it to any other addiction, like drugs, alchohol and gambling. Maybe if we approach the problem from that angle, and focus on the fact that texting “relationships” are generally shallow and can sometimes be dangerous, we might get more results than lectures about Kedushas Shabbos.