morahmom

If you’re posting this question to the coffee room, you’re not ready.
Find a rebbe/mentor that you’re comfortable with who knows you.
Hatzlacha rabbah!!

One good reason that the goyish divorce rate is low is cause they don’t bother getting married in the first place.

Thank you, 147, for injecting a note of optimism here!

Yes, it’s annoying when people don’t respect kedushas bais hak’nesses even at the holiest of botei k’neisios.

But it’s a reminder that we’re still in golus, even at the kosel, even in Yerushalayim.

Dear Dedicated Counselor,

I commend your concern for your campers! I am sure that you have made a huge difference in the lives of these children.

It’s sad, but times have changed. Many parents are wary, even when it’s not justifiable. Should they be “dan” your intentions “l’chaf z’chus”, sure. But at the same time, they’d rather err on the side of caution for their kids.

Bracha v’hatzlacha to you!

Here’s the thing: If a girl is average to tall, an inch or two really doesn’t matter all that much. But if a girl is on the short side already, and they guy is even shorter, I could see it bothering the girl. You also then wonder what the cheshbon of the shadchan was, or if there was any besides height.

Target, TJMaxx, Marshalls, Nordstrom, Macy’s, etc, all have long, tzniusdik skirts for anywhere between $15 – $25. It’s a great time to be makpid on tznius and be in style!

So I would guess it’s the same cheilek of Shulchan Aruch that “allows” people to speak loshon hora.

It is certainly logical that close friends and relatives would have a better chance at setting people up successfully, but in my family the exact opposite was true. Two of my children’s shidduchim came about through near-strangers. Just goes to show that it really is siyata dishmaya!

WHAT IS LEKVAR???????????????????? DID I JUST SEE THAT QUESTION?????

Lekvar is prune filling for the BEST hamantashen on the planet, although my husband would argue that it is poppy…

Oh, and I seem to remember Yigal Calek at some earlier HASC concerts, but I don’t know how long ago. The LS of JS was still around in the 90’s, I think.

Apparently there is some hierarchy as to who gets to wear long and who can wear short, depending on how close you are to the kallah. This corresponds to the order in which she will dance with you.

Also, you want to remember that many shidduchim are made at weddings, so you do want to look good – not over the top, but people will be looking for their nephews and neighbors’ sons…

Finally, have no fear because I hear that there are gmachs for “friends of kallahs dresses”!

Don’t know of that source but I think some of it was used during the time of Yehoshua when he was fighting for the Givonim and the sun stood still.

Thank you for moderating, mod 18. I was kinda wondering what was supposed to be paid with $700.

I think that even gedolim set reasonable goals -even “small” ones – and certainly this is encouraged by roshei yeshiva and mashgichim.

This is more than stam a yahrzeit. It was and continues to be a national trauma. During the days and weeks after the attacks, there was tremendous achdus, amongst acheinu bnei Yisroel and New Yorkers all over. Please let’s not lose it now. Let people continue to grieve on their terms, and let’s be there for one another.

taom: I AM a teacher and while I can say that every teacher does enjoy July and Aug, I am sure that your teacher would be happy to speak to you and will be careful not to spread information. Hatzlacha Rabbah!

MACY’s is definitely worth a try. My daughter got her vort dress there. It needed a kiki riki but was otherwise good to go. My other daughter got her vort suit at a frum store for about 3x the price, and hasn’t worn it more than 5 times.

WIY – I have not interviewed every OTD person out there, or everyone who stayed on the derech. Yes, drugs can pull a wringer on your brain, with permanent affects. Certainly any recklessness in tznius – for boys and girls – will have long lasting affects. That is not to say that people who have not experimented with drugs don’t have their own battles to fight. What about all the underage drinking that is accepted in so many Yeshivos, even by the “good boys”?

It’s a very confusing world out there, and it scares me that so many adults don’t seem to have gotten solid grounding in hashkafa. These are the people bring up the OTD kids!

So my 9 days tefila is for the time of the geulah when the Navi says “V’heishiv lev avos al bonim v’lev bonim al avosam”.

The good news is that many people who go off the derech do eventually come back, and when they come back they are as shtark as shtark can be.

I think that it would help Klal Yisroel if EVERYBODY became a shadchan. Honestly, other than having a pile of pink index cards and blue index cards as your “database”, what kind of higher education is required here? Shidduchim come about from some highly unlikely meetings – often at weddings, but I’m not getting into the whole mixed seating thing.

Seriously, people, the only way to get a track record going is to just keep trying. Obviously you have to have a theory as to why these 2 ppl might click… but at the end of the day, just try it. You never know.

Yichud, yichud and yichud. It’s a d’oraisa, so your problems start and end there.

All the other posters were pretty eloquent and I think you got the message… Parents really do care. Some do not express their caring well, but in their heart of hearts they really all want the best way of life for their kids.

I just want to add that for many of us parents who did not grow up so “to the right” and maybe had tv’s at home, or watched a movie now and then, and then tried to convince their children that their lives were so much better without these “evils”… well, I sympathize with the kids who can’t quite figure out how what was accepted in frum circles a mere generation ago gets you thrown out of Yeshiva now. The frum oilam has taken quite a leap – a very necessary one, I might add, but I’m old and I understand why I don’t have a tv! There needs to be a kosher outlet for kids that can compete with what they feel they’re lacking. Any ideas?

I once heard it came from D’Avinan – like our fathers. When we call out to Hashem, we behave like our fathers.

There should be one comprehensive book written on the subject of the growth of the BY movement here in the US. Meantime, there are several books that deal with the subject, like the biography of the Benders and the lesser known but very excellent publication put out by Bais Yaakov of Baltimore probably about 15 years ago. Don’t remember what it was called, but it was pink…

Yes.

I wouldn’t want to inhibit anyone’s feelings or get in the way of a good rant, but sometimes I can’t even understand what it is they’re ranting about!