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Just wanted to point out that just because a family’s not a “Kollel family” … learning … does NOT mean they have money. For some reason people are under the assumption that Kollel families = no means of income and working families are making it. In this economy and in this day and age (with expense of living being very high) it is very hard for most to make enough money, whether they’re learning or working. In most families, even with husband working, they’re not making enough. Everyone has to take one day at a times and try to make enough money for now. There’s no way to be “guaranteed” money in the future. Look at all the well-to-do businessmen who lost everything in this economy!
Everyone obviously has different Hashkafos which impact how many times or how long they want to go out. Everyone has to do what they feel comfortable with. I do believe, though, that (obviously after checking a person out) you will see the person’s Midos and Hashkafos…after a few times. You will not know the person any better until you get married! My husband and I went out 7 times in under 2 weeks and we got engaged B”H. We were completely ready – even after the first few times. Going out for longer does not give you any more insight to the person – if anything, it causes problems!
gavra_at_work – According to what I was told, the husband is Mechuyav to give his mother a drink first. (My husband asked our Rav how to go about that – if my mother-in-law is over for Shabbos – and he suggested that my husband take a bite of Challah and give me the rest of his piece and the same for Kiddush – he gives me the Becher.)
We had the same thing with our son. He was constantly getting ear infections – which is miserable for a kid!! And we were constantly putting him on antibiotics. So the doc. suggested tubes – especially because he wasn’t really walking or talking yet. (I forgot how old but well over a year.) Sometimes so much fluid in the ears can affect their balance and hearing. So we did the tubes (I was also very nervous – I’m a young mother and this is the first time we had to do something like this with our kids). B”H shortly after the tubes he started walking and soon after started talking. (Late but … I felt bad that he missed out on a few months of hearing!!) We did bring him to a top ENT – Dr. Jones in Manhattan. She did the tubes. If a kid is having ear infections so often it might be good to do it! The kid’s fine shortly after the procedure – not such a big deal. And it makes a huge difference to the child!
P.S. My son does still get ear infections every so often but it leaks out of his ear so most of the time it doesn’t hurt him. (Which is the point of the tubes – to drain the fluid.)
waiting4mashiach – and any others – It is most certainly not rebellion! An unmarried girl has a Mitzvah of Tznius and should dress accordingly. She shouldn’t attracting any male’s attention because she’s not married! A married girl has a Mitzvah of Tznius – still needs to be within those parameters – and also has a Mitzvah of looking good and beautiful for her husband. The Mitzvah of covering her hair is because her hair is an Erva – it has nothing to do with her Shaitel being more beautiful or not. A married woman needs to look beautiful for her husband – even when outside the house. A man doens’t want to walk around with a Shmatte wife – he wants to walk around with a beautiful Tzniuskik wife he can be proud of. A put-together well-dressed woman looks like her husband takes care of her – this is a compliment to her husband.