There are non co-Ed MO schools: shulamith, derech hatorah, for instance. Kids who go to mixed schools would not necessarily go to public school otherwise (that’s ridiculous to say). I know TONS of kids who’s parents sent them to Yeshiva of Flatbush, because it offers an amazing education (but if it didn’t exist, their parents would NEVER send their kids to public school). Kids grow up to be tops in their fields and very studious, many of them getting into Ivy league schools. What I find problematic is that sometimes torah can be perceived as more of an intellectual pursuit. I think a lot depends upon the family the kids come from. Those from families that encourage Torah as a way of life will choose to learn it that way. I personally know several AMAZING girls who learned in Yeshiva of Flatbush who went on to marry kollel guys (Lakewood included). One girl I know from Shulamith married a Belzer chasid and moved to kiryat Belz in Yerushalayim. Many girls who learned in Michlala in eretz Yisroel are so medakdek bemitzvos and marry men who learn, become rabbeim, teach, etc, and the girls are NO different in their frumkeit than any bais yaakov girl. MO doesn’t mean devoid of Torah. These girls are not baalos teshuva. They learned and continued learning, and internalized the lessons the way any bais yaakov girl must do.

Adorable:

I know from where your anxiety comes, because I felt it myself, and it prevented me from making a committment for years. What you’re describing is a fear of responsibility/ commitment. Believe me, that fear does not go away with time. The lifestyle you seek that offers a lot of freedom to come and go will only fulfill you for so long. There will come a day when you will yearn for more, when you will heartily give up the freedom to “live” in order to make a “life” for yourself with another. Loneliness will win out. Maybe you’re not ready yet. Just think about whether you really have the luxury of time. Committing to be there for your family is hard, but frankly, being alone is harder in my opinion. I know my friends who married before me yearned for freedom, but they did not yearn to be single without children. They wanted the blessings of marriage and kids and also opportunities to enjoy the world. Although you may not be able to have as much free time as you want, you will still have time. Marriage is not a ball and chain attached to your foot. If anything, it’s a companion to grow with, to love and be loved by, it’s someone to share your dreams with.

Some hashkafic differences are make it or break it issues, others are not. I wanted to live in Israel. I believed we should live in Israel, rabbeim told me not to make it an issue. I didn’t and I don’t regret it. Religious lifestyle (type of school to send your kids/how you would want to educate them) makes a very big difference. It is cause for tremendous conflict when one want to send their kids to a modern yeshiva and another wants a more yeshivish one. I can tell you one thing:DO NOT count on growing together and anyone changing. You must be able to truly accept where they are and assume there will be no changes. What will you do if they don’t change??? Too risky. A couple, IMHO, should start out fairly similarly, and then you grow together.

You don’t need a lot of friends, just one or two will also help you. You most likely, will not be rooming alone. That will give you more of an opportunity to make friends. You don’t have to be outgoing to make friends. My sister has always been painfully shy, yet she still managed to make friends, albeit quieter ones. Her friends turned out to be some of the nicest people I know.

I don’t see the point. Orthodox Judaism follows Torah, reform does not. What’s to debate? The value or correctness of each way of life and choice? Anyone frum doesn’t need to read that. Anyone reform just needs to read books discussing the meaning of Torah misinai that it includes the whole Torah and not just parts. I, frankly don’t see why that would need a debate. Debates give a measure of authenticity to the other side. We don’t need to give that to a reformed style of “Judaism”.

Some personality disorders can “allow” a person to commit a crime and actually feel NO remorse or empathy. The DSM IV did classify personality disorders as a form of mental illness.

I’d be careful eating salty food close to the fast. Earlier, when you can drink a lot, ok. Later, you might find you regret it.

If you were being paid to work, although it would be nice for them to offer you ices or a drink, the only agreement you made with them was an exchange of monetary payment for a service. I would not EXPECT them to offer you a snack. Yes, it’s menschlech. It is strange that they didn’t think of it. I have been in both positions, both as employer, and employee. I regularly offer coffee and a snack to our housekeeper as soon as she walks in (after being on the subway for nearly 1 1/2 hours). My husband feels it’s stepping over the line of appropriateness. I also worked doing housekeeping when I was a student for several years in seminary in eretz yisroel. I worked for a few families, one of which sat me down and offered me hot kugel, fresh out of her oven Thursday night after I helped her (the daughter of a rosh yeshiva) another (equally as frum) barely said hello, another pushed me out of her house before her kids came home. What a different feeling. I tried to learn from the first. What is required though, is simply payment, so that’s all you can, in all fairness expect.

As strange as it sounds, I would write to the mayors office about what you were told and advocate for “mini” license plates for bikes. There’s no reason why they shouldn’t have one.

Hang it the same way you hang your dress shirts. Use a wire hanger and let it air dry for a few hours. If you have a lot of sweaty clothing post-work-out, you can invest in a drying rack (has multiple rods that you hang wet clothing from/purchase in hardware store).

Do not give up, no matter how discouraged you feel. Dating can wreak havoc on a person’s self esteem. Build yourself up. Make sure you feel good about yourself, because then you will be more likely to choose someone who will be good to you and for you. Find friends who are in a similar stage to you, so you don’t feel alone. My closest friends married young. I met my “new” best friend at a shabbos table, and she’s become my closest friend ever since. My other close friends remain that way, but I added her to the pot. In fact, she and I met and married our husbands within two months of each other, after two years of being best friends and bemoaning the heartaches and hardships of dating, together. Lol!

Did I cross the line?? I saw my neighbor (an irreligious high school girl) and told her that if she also got the “package” to get rid of it, since it’s from missionaries. She kind of paused when I told her to toss it. Is it going to far to actually tell someone what to do with their mail??

I don’t know about that hot plate. We have a k’deirah blech (also called the unblech). It acts like a kli rishon with water inside, so you can put solids on it, but not liquids. What you have sounds like it uses the same premise, but I’m not sure how, since there’s no water inside to make it like a pot.

Chareidim….. Those who “shake”from yiras shamayim. Technically, I think it fair to say NO ONE constantly falls under this category at every moment. I think it a more accurate question to state: “who wants to be a chareidi ? Those who try to be makpid b’mitzvos all the time/as much as possible would be those striving to be chareidim. Since we cannot know people’s beliefs and actions, there is no way of knowing who truly is one: whether it be the man with the cap, the gray hat, the Kippah srugah (any of you ever seen a merkaz haravnik? Women with tights under sandalim, hair fully covered with tichels, men learning full time…. Very frum and tzniusdik/Even if they don’t call themselves chareidi, I’d say technically they are)… Bottom line… Only HKB’H knows.

Forgive yourself for not remembering. You wouldn’t believe how many people are plagued by this. When you remember something that you didn’t recall earlier, just apologize and explain lack of sleep, etc… All will understand. I’m in a fog most of the time, and figure I’ll wake up eventually, feeling that I was partially sleepwalking through my kids youth. So be it. If you’re “game”, the one thing you can do that would sharpen your mind is cardio exercise (walk briskly, run, bike, etc). Kids who needed to be more alert for school and exams were found to perform better after some kind of cardio exercise.

I think they used monocles for a while; a single piece of glass similar to one side of eyeglasses. Before that, I have no idea.

Sadly, we’re no longer living in a generation of the bais hamikdosh where b’nei YISRAEL committed one primary avairah (and even then, on their madreigah, they succumbed to the avairos of the times – avodah zara etc.) We all know there are so many issues going on, and they probably differ from community to community, continent to continent. Lack of tznius is a big problem, and no, it is not limited to just the MO community. I see super long shaitels on bais yaakov educated girls as well, sequined tops, super straight skirts, and the list goes on. Women dress this way for their own self esteem. Women want to be fashionable, and try to do so within the confines of halachah (shaitel, skirts,etc). We must recognize the efforts they do make, even if we feel it’s in the wrong direction. I believe it is a combined sense of responsibility. Women dress to impress/please (if not our husbands, than our friends, peers, the public at large -who wants to be looked at like they’re ugly, just because they’re nor fashionable. If it can be done within the confines of halacha, let them. If our husbands would ooh and ahh about a super short shaitel, you might see more women buying them.

I’m sorry, but, Zeeskite, if that was your worst tragedy, you have been very blessed. May you always be blessed with things that feel major, when they’re really minor (and may you realize, not through experience, how minor they really are…).

That scares me.

You can word the advertisement as such: “suited to….(a small family)”. People don’t want to waste their time with looking at unsuitable places. You may want to list it as being a modest size space, to make clear that it’s unsuitable for larger families.

Rebbi1: love that one!