Modesty

M1994 in our community 26 is still young if people wouldn’t be so fussy about age things would be great
I myself a consider myself a young girl age 28 only started dating a few months ago
I don’t agree with the fact that it has to be so difficult

“Shopping613 🌠Participant
Life, Judaism, and Mitzvot aren’t always easy.
There’s a problem when someone simply states a halacha or an idea and it’s considered bashing.
I know it’s not easy, and if you want maybe we can open a thread on chizuk in this area”
Yes we definitely need a chizuk thread as all these posts are only bashing
And it should be a young single girls only

“REPLY
TryingToStayCalmParticipant
Here’s how you do it, you buy something modest, put it on, and wear it all day. You only have to put it on once. What is a teenage girl even asked to do besides sleep till noon while the boys are braving the cold to get to shacharis, then learning all day. This is your primary task … wearing something that could be a little more modest, a little less tight etc. We are talking about extremely immodest women with skirts above the knees, tall heels, form fitting shirts, patterned stockings etc.” yes if you’re not a girl let alone a teenager you won’t ever understand why it’s so difficult. If all around you the skirt is above the knee and all around you is tight form fitting clothing and you tell us to dress different for the sake of hashem that’s great
But what nerv do you have to say that it’s not at all difficult please. If it was so easy then we wouldn’t need these YWN posts about tznius. if it’s so easy why are there very frum girls who are very not tznius.

“Shopping613 🌠Participant
looking Promiscuous is assur.
It’s a violation of the entire root of tzanua.”
What makes you say that
Do you even understand our challenge

“female Tznius is. “Covering hair so that no more than 2 Tefochim of hair are
exposed (as per the mishnah in Kesubos) and wear clothing covering the elbows and the knees”. That’s it. Instead people have posted nonsensical opinions and. comments. Showing exposed skin and wearing tight clothes is Pritzus. That’s it”
Are you saying that wearing very tight clothing and showing skin doesn’t lack in the Mitzvah of Modesty who are you quoting
Amazing we all struggle with that and now you’re saying it’s allowed
It just makes the whole tznius not challenging anymore but rather very confusing

“As it relates to this topic, everyone should be concerned about the dress of their own wife and daughter”
What about the teenage girls living in an environment where they are felt left out when tznius. and part of the club when dressed not tznius.

“It’s true that there are problems elsewhere, but there’s a “difference between wearing tight, m’ikkar hadin tznius clothing and dressing beneath goyish standards (forget the halachah, they aren’t worried about it). When you come in and say on a thread like this that women in Boro Park wear tight clothes, it inherently comes across as though that’s lessening the gravity of the issue in the 5 Towns. We’re talking about a unique issue here; No matter how hard you look, Boro Park doesn’t have anything this bad going on. It’s just not comparable.”

Stop denying if we don’t take a stand with Tehilla BP wiil become like the 5towns

“Shopping613 🌠Participant
Go somewhere else.
Work harder to be shomer eineyim.
Make sure to make yourself lunch.
There’s not tzniyus women everywhere, why do you have to specify where you live and make it sound like there’s a specific issue with tzniyus in your community?”
Why do you say that we girls are trying very hard. In life challenges we take small steps. all because you see not tznius remember you don’t see our struggle

Shopping613 we’ll said

Lilmod ulelamaid
Thanks for the chizuk

Jj2020
the reality of life is that we want to be like every one else and when all around you is very not tznius its difficult to be the only one
The books that were recommended by the posts before are Great
However it doesn’t solve the problem for girls who aren’t interested in the mitzvah of tznius
And by default if I even make a very small improvement I’m the one who is standing out

Refleg . It is in this middle ground that the controlling factor is community practice, supported by legitimate psak. For instance, I have heard a Rav, of whose bakius and yiras shamaim I am certain, opine that armpits are ervah and they only must be covered (that would rule out tank tops). You or I may disagree and, as you mentioned
Are you saying that this Rabbi alows us girls to wear very short sleeves as long as the armpit is covered. We don’t need to cover our elbows
Who is this Rabbi I would like to inquire more about him
What else does he Allow ?

Please use quotes or italics when quoting other posters. It makes posts easier to read and less likely to be misunderstood. Thank you

Meno Funny you should say that…
Not at all I finely got the message and there for I will say it in 3rd person
Even if she enjoys dressing very not tznius she shouldn’t be speaking like that its very inappropriate

Lilmod Ulelamaid
Very good point

From all my posts I’m not justifying what’s so ever the lack of tznius. All I’m saying that we are motivated by the yetzer hara each in their own way. And as we have seen criticism and bashing isn’t helping especially when it comes from men. We need to work on becoming motivated with different ideas. As a lot of the posts has mentioned different ideas lets keep up the positive wave amd we should merit to say tznius is going up (not down) with every passing year

770Chabad
Being tznuis protects not only Israel but the soldiers too and by dressing not tznuis puts them in danger ….

That’s a very powerful statement I guess if we are to blame for the tragedys in Isreal. Then we should be given full credit for every Peaceful passing day must be in the merit of us girls over coming the yetzer hara even if its just a little we are still accomplishing alot. This positive attitude will only help us improve. Let’s focus on the attention we are getting by saving the world when we are tznius. Hopefully should counteract the fun and attention we get from dressing very not tznius.

Shopping613 great poam
I don’t understand your message please explain why tznius is freedom. You say in your poam that when you dress very not tznius its being controlled by others.
How is that? when I dress very not tznius i don’t feel being controled by others its just a lot of fun especially when you get a lot of attention and feel belonging to the club unfortunately I call that freedom

The little I know
I see your point however in this generation all we see in the non Jewish media is girls of there kind inappropriately dressed (or not) we desperately need to counteract with pictures of women and girls dressing very tznius with pride. lets not fool our self the tznius level is only going down with every passing year we need to do something abot it. and as you say the negative impact that will come from pictures of women and girls however the positive out weighs the negative by far

Rebyidd23 Yours stem from a feeling of powerlessness that you want to make up for by exerting your power over men.
What makes you say that the problem is we want to exert our power over men what kind power ate you talking about
All I said that girls who are not tznius are unfortunately just having fun and enjoying the attention it brings us and that will change if we can see in our frum publications show us frum woman and girls dressing very tznius with pride that would be our role models

Another point that will help us improve on tznius is that the frum publications should allow pictures of women and girls.
Magazines such as bina mishpacha etc. that are ment for women don’t have any female pictures. And as young girls the only female pictures we see are from the non Jewish media (no need to Elaborate on that) and that causes us to emulate them instead of our own. Imagine if we girls open a frum magazine and see how our woman all dress tznius we will have who to emulate instead of banning all female pictures from our frum publications. Show us girls who we should look up to. I believe if this would be corrected together with tifilah it will put an end to all the fun of not being tznius and show us the fun and valuable treasure of dressing tznius all the time

Any recommendations on a good book written in English for guidance on the laws of tznios one that will develop in us a love for tznius. not a book on all the don’t do this don’t do this kind of stuff rather one that will be positive

Shopping613 thanks for the chizuk ots greatly appreciated

Shopping613 what do you mean by It’s all int the perspective. True this mitzvah of being tznius is a very special treasure for us girls
How ever its still by far the hardest one to keep. The sacrifice is is huge. Eg. Tight clothing is so much more comfortable
Revealing clothing is a lot of fun especially when its hot outside. Also you are part of the club and best of all i feel im a lot more noticed when I dress very not tznius
I agree that these are just the yetzer hara but let’s face it its not easy

lilmod-ulelamaid
It is far easier to not buy a short skirt than it is to not see someone who is wearing one. What are you talking about?
I have to go out of my way to buy the correct length skirt a mini skirt is available all over tightclothing is so much more comfortable.
Im saying that just as men are challenged so are we. And when we dress very not tznius its not to kill it’s just giving in to our yetzer hara that’s very difficult to over comr in this generation. The joy and fun of being very not tznius is very overwhelming for us
Bottom line we aren’t here to kill

Joseph its not correct to say that we dress to kill. Although we are at times very not tznius. we do it for our own attention not to kill others. Its a very hard challenge that you will never understand

Rebyid123 no one said the world is fair and since we don’t know how hashem rewards it might not be fair to men that they don’t have this treasure