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Wow – Todahrabba – that joke was in poor taste.
Why the Hakpadah in MOST embarrassing story? I would think that ANY embarrassing story would fit the spirit of the thread! So here’s one: a number of years ago, I apologized to the assembled guests at my Shabbos table for the utterly bland taste of the potato kugel. Explaining that it had way too little salt and that I myself wasn’t going to finish mine, I assured them that they didn’t have to eat it. My friend’s wife started and turned white – it turned out that she had made it!
So, Redleg, I guess that you don’t learn much Gemara?
Achieving Completion with Soul Mate
or
Anything Worthwhile Requires Sincere Investment
I know that it is not l’Chatchilah to learn during Chazaras ha’Shatz, and yet there are times that I do regularly. These are during the Yamim Nora’im, during the parts of CHH”SH that are not responsive. Also, I am guilty of this during a significant part of Hakafos as well. And here is a wonderful example of Dan l’Chaf Zechus. I am both a Ba’al Korei and a Daf Yomi Magid Shiur. On these days I can find no other time to prepare than these, and therefore I do what I must.
Wow – you had a rough time, and yet you think of others! You’re really great!
I at first made the same Diyuk in Rashi as you did, HaLeiVi. But it could be that Rashi is merely stressing the derogatory aspect of it, and no that it ought not to be done. The Rosh Yosef suggests that Rav Ilish is giving the reason why it is Asur to carry the Pesach home on Shabbos; it is Uvda d’Chol. The Tzelach suggests that is teaching that the Pesach was skinned whole, even on Shabbos (Ayein Shabbos 116-117 and Tosfos ibid. DH d’Shakil; The Tzelach Tainas that Rav Ilish is like the third Teirutz of Tosfos). The Yerios Shlomo sees here a Remez to the sale of Yosef to “Orchas Yishmaelim”, which was the root of why we ended up in Mitzrayim.
A pleasure, and the same to you!
I was indeed trying to answer your question. My point is that since Baruch Shem is a different type of Kabalas Ol Malchus Shamayim, it was appropriate for both Yaakov Avinu at the time AND for us to say on a daily basis.
Hey – we can each operate own kind of baby Gemach!
It was an appropriate response since Baruch Shem is also a type of Kabalas Ol Malchus Shamayim. Read below from dafyomi.co.il (or the Pachad Yitzchak in the original – but that is some heavy learning!):
2) SAYING “BARUCH SHEM KEVOD MALCHUSO” QUIETLY
QUESTION: The Gemara teaches that after one recites the verse, “Shema Yisrael,” he should recite the verse, “Baruch Shem Kevod Malchuso” quietly. Rebbi Yitzchak relates an allegory to clarify why this verse is said quietly. He says that it is comparable to a princess who smelled the aroma of delicious food. On one hand, she is embarrassed to ask for the food explicitly. On the other hand, if she does not partake of the food, she will suffer as a result of her urge. In order to resolve her dilemma, her servants bring the food to her quietly without announcement.
This analogy implies that there is some element of embarrassment in the recitation of the verse “Baruch Shem,” and that is why it is recited quietly. Indeed, the NEFESH HA’CHAYIM (3:6) and other Kabalistic sources explain that it is a lower level of declaration of the unity (Yichud) of the name of Hash-m.
However, other sources indicate that “Baruch Shem” is a higher form of Yichud ha’Shem, and not a lower form as the Gemara here implies.
First, the TUR (OC 61) cites the Midrash that says that Moshe Rabeinu heard the angels declare, “Baruch Shem Kevod…,” and he wanted to incorporate it into the prayers of the Jewish people. However, because it is an “otherworldly” praise and is too lofty to be recited in this world, he could institute only that it be said quietly. By saying “Baruch Shem” quietly, we show that we have no intention to encroach on the domain of the angels.
Second, we find that in the Beis ha’Mikdash, the Jewish people would respond with “Baruch Shem Kevod…” in place of “Amen” to every blessing they heard from the Kohen Gadol (Berachos 63a, Ta’anis 16b). Due to its lofty status, “Baruch Shem” may be said aloud only in the holiest place.
Third, the MAHARAL (Nesiv ha’Avodah 7) writes that the reason why we recite “Baruch Shem” aloud on Yom Kippur is because on that day we are elevated to a higher realm of existence. Similarly, Yakov Avinu recited this verse aloud because he was on a higher realm of existence.
These sources seem to contradict the implication of the Gemara here that “Baruch Shem” is embarrassing in some way.
ANSWER: RAV YITZCHAK HUTNER zt’l (Pachad Yitzchak, Yom Kippur 5:2:15) explains that both implications are true and do not conflict with each other. They reflect different aspects of “Baruch Shem.” In one sense, “Baruch Shem” is a lower and embarrassing form of praise, while in other sense, it is a lofty and holy form of praise.
“Baruch Shem Kevod Malchuso…” means that the name of Hash-m is eternal and will remain forever. The name of Hash-m, however, is comprised of two different elements (see Pesachim 50a and Insights there). There is the name as it is written, which emphasizes the eternalness of Hash-m, and there is the name as it is pronounced (the name of “Adnus”), which emphasizes the sovereignty of Hash-m in this world and expresses that Hash-m is the Master of the world. The name of “Adnus” is used only in this world; it has no place in the World to Come, where Hash-m’s name will be pronounced the same way that it is written, as the Gemara earlier teaches (50a).
Accordingly, it is inappropriate to say “Baruch Shem Kevod… l’Olam va’Ed” in reference to the name of “Adnus.” That name is used only in this world, while “Baruch Shem… l’Olam va’Ed” is a praise for the eternal use of the name of Hash-m. The name of “Adnus” is a lower level of Yichud ha’Shem, a Yichud only for this world that expresses the limited extent to which we are able to perceive Hash-m. It does not express the way that Hash-m will be perceived in the next world.
In contrast, when “Baruch Shem” is used in reference to the name of “Yud-Heh,” it is an appropriate and lofty praise, because it means that the name of “Yud-Heh” will be blessed in this world and in the next.
Praising the name of “Adnus” with the verse “Baruch Shem” is a lesser form of Yichud, because it applies only to this world. Praising the name of “Yud-Heh,” the name of Hash-m as it is written, with the verse “Baruch Shem” is a much higher form of Yichud. The angels experience Hash-m’s presence and perceive His reality in the ultimate way, the way expressed by the written form of His name. When they say “Baruch Shem,” they praise that name, the name of “Yud-Heh.” Similarly, in the Beis ha’Mikdash, the people declare “Baruch Shem” in response to the Kohen Gadol’s elocution of Hash-m’s name as it is written. Since the lower level name of “Adnus” is not used, “Baruch Shem” may be said aloud. This is also why Yakov Avinu said “Baruch Shem” aloud; he perceived Hash-m’s presence the way the angels do.
When we say the name of Hash-m in this world, however, we say only the name of “Adnus.” We praise that name by quietly intoning, “Baruch Shem.” The verse of “Baruch Shem” has two meanings. One is a lower form of praise of the name of “Adnus,” and one is a lofty form of praise of the name of “Yud-Heh.” Therefore, we say it quietly, like a person who has a message that can be understood in two ways, one that is lofty, and one that sounds incongruous. He whispers it so that the wise people who understand the lofty meaning will hear it and know that he is whispering it in order not to reveal the lofty wisdom behind it. The unlearned people will think that he is whispering it because it is a senseless statement and he is embarrassed to say it aloud. Accordingly, when the Gemara here implies that “Baruch Shem” is a lower form of praise, it does not contradict the other sources that imply that it is a higher form of praise. Both are correct, because both meanings are contained in “Baruch Shem.”
It is a very good question. See Tosfos.
A baby Gemach is also a wonderful idea for childless couples! I’m sure that all of those Hareidim with their all-too-large families that they can’t really support, nurture, or even keep track of could be persuaded to donate to it!
Goq – I’m a frayed that I do knot agree with your argument. There is a big hole right in the middle of it! Follow it to any logical end, and you will see that it completely and utterly twisted.
1) The status of Muktzah is determined at the onset of Shabbos. Current considerations of its status on Shabbos do not affect its Muktzah status.
2) This is an excellent question. Tosfos DH Ela at the top of Nun Zayin asks it and gives two answers (Ayin Sham, or ask me for details if you have difficulty).
3) Sorry, can’t help you there. First of all, I do not know what all of those things are. Second of all, it is definitely not on the Daf!
While I don’t know quite WHERE the middle of nowhere is, I do know WHAT the middle of nowhere is. The letter “h”.
Just beyond over yonder, not far from over there, and quite a bit aways from just around the corner.
R’ Avraham Yitzchok Ulman Shlita is Rav of Givat Shaul, and was the youngest member of the Badatz Eidah ha’Chareidis when he became a Dayan a number of years ago. He is utterly brilliant. I heard from him that there is no such thing as the single Dalet knot; it is a relatively recent development based upon a mistaken understanding, disseminated by one individual who made it his life’s focus. He has multiple Rayos based on all of the sources, and a full explanation with knowledge of the history behind it all as to how this came to be.
Like this: “See, I’m a Gavra, and this girl is a bit too much of a Cheftza for me.”
I met this guy’s boss, and he told me that the real reason was that he had just been sacked.
Why Popa asked this now is obvious; it has nothing to do with Purim. A book written by a woman cannot be called a Sefer – it is a Sefirah. And that is what we are doing during this period.
Certainly; I am not CHV”SH suggesting otherwise. I did want to avoid any confusion as to the severity of the disease. While not minimizing the embarrassment felt by its victims, alopecia is often confused with radiation treatments, which of course signify something far worse, which sometimes leads to the ASSUMPTER being embarrassed! (And yes, I am aware that I just made up a word.)
As far as Refu’ah Sheleimah wishes, the entirety of this disease is that it kills of the hair follicles. It does not hurt, or cause discomfort. There are no other effects, and no known cure.
Get sleep when you can!
We’ve spent years doing both. My wife has two recommendations. One is to brown the onions and meat first – yummy! The other is to first bring to a boil, and then leave on a very very low simmer.
I heard b’Shem R’ Elyashiv that the most important part of Selichos are … the Selichos themselves. Of, course, one can only say the 13 Midos together with the Tzibur, and so one should interrupt to do so. But he should then continue where he was holding in the Selichos.
Someone I know told me that when he first moved to Rechavya many, many years ago, his wife told him that all of the men ignored her in the street. Except for one, who always greeted her with a cheery “Boker Tov”. After a couple of weeks, she pointed the anomaly to her husband when they spotted him in the street. It was R’ Shlomo Zalman Aurbach! And he was, presumably, wasting his own Torah time as well. And so I must conclude that Klal Yisrael needs more Resha’im like the Wolf!
In response to the OP – this discussion is really moot. If you’re Chassidish, then no explanation is necessary; if you’re not, then no explanation will suffice.
Again, if you have a good relationship, it’s hard to understand why your husband’s first reaction would be to bolt it. Here’s an idea – why not show him this thread?
Bustercrown – I agree that you can’t do nothing. I can’t see how this would make the situation anything but worse. Perhaps you should not be the one to confront him at first, but SOMEONE MUST. I will say that I am a husband whose wife a while back realized that I was looking at things that I shouldn’t. Without giving too much away, let me just say that due to who I am and who she knows me to be, she was shocked and very angry. She confronted me, and I was humiliated. However, it has changed my life for the better, and I am grateful to her. We have B”H had a strong marriage, and while this tested it, it is B”H stronger than ever. She didn’t attack me personally, but expressed her shock, disappointment, and anger quite clearly. I now know that I can enlist her help to do the things that I may be too weak to do on my own. I can’t promise that your husband will have the same reaction, but trying to hint around and leaving it unaddressed will simply make the situation fester and worsen – on both sides. Please ask another person with Da’as Torah, whom you trust, for a second opinion.
Interjection – sorry – it is only mi’Pi ha’Shemu’a (from a good source, but still).
IMHO, if a woman were looking at such things the reaction would certainly be different – because women are different than men. Most women would not have such a drive, and therefore if she shows one it would be a red flag of a different sort – one that is less common and more worrisome. I certainly would not advocate less support, however.
The Chazon Ish is said to have remarked, “If you tell me that a Talmid Chochom commited an Aveira of Arayos with an Eshes Ish, I would believe it. All people are subject to strong Yitzrei ha’Ra sometimes. But if you tell me that a Talmid Chochom has bad Midos, then I would not believe it; one who learns Torah properly must be affected such that he has good Midos.” Your friends husband may very well be a fine, upstanding, frum fellow – who did not manage to stand up to a Nisayon. This can be rectified for the future by using the proper filters and programs etc. (if removal of internet from the the house is not an option). As a Rebbi of mine said, “Yichud with the internet is Asur!” Certainly she can and should seek professional help for overcoming this Nisayon of her own with the right attitude. But she should first and foremost understand that her husband is not really some “monster” whom she never really knew. He is whom he always was, and he probably needs her support now more than ever.
His family became Ba’alei Teshuvah through his influence, when he was younger. I have no idea why you think that his grandfather was a Rav.
I am close with a world-renowned gastroenterologist (Dr. Julian Paz, from Har Nof), and he has told me that he recommends this surgery over any other option.
I heard two other answers that no one has yet mentioned to answer the OP:
1) The Ramban says that the days of Sefiras ha’Omer are like a “Chol ha’Mo’ed” between Pesach and Shavuos. The truth is, therefore, that ALL of them should be celebrated. However, we mourn the deaths of the students on all of the other days of Sefira. When this is not applicable, we celebrate that day itself! (Heard from a Chashuva Rav)
2) Rebbi Akiva was also supposed to die during this time period. We celebrate that he was spared. (Heard from a very fine Yid, but not the same level as the first.)
I Daven for him, and think of him, often. I also think of the poor boy who threw the bat. He must be guilt-ridden. Is he getting the help that he needs also?
I Daven for him, and think of him, often. I also think of the poor boy who threw the bat. He must be guilt-ridden. Is he getting the help that he needs also?
A wise man spoke at his son’s Sheva Berachos. He said, “Son, now that you’re married, it’s time to learn the fine art of compromise. Let me give you an example. Let’s say that it’s time to paint the kitchen. Your wife wants to paint it pink, but you prefer white. So you compromise – you paint it pink!”
A banana wearing a tuxedo?
A panda bear showering in lemonade?
I thought of a good Mashal over Shabbos. Imagine that a group of people are standing on the edge of a cliff. One of them is a powerful bodybuilder, who manages to grab onto the edge and prevent himself from falling down. You are one of a number of others who grab onto him and cling for dear life. He is holding himself and the rest above the gorge, using his strength to prevent everyone from falling to certain death below. He is certainly in some distress, straining his muscles to the extreme. How long do you hold on?
I asked this very question to my Rebbi when I was a Bachur, when we were Davening for R’ Shach. He explained that the very existence of a Gadol in our physical world protects the Dor (Presumably the Gadol himself would want to be here for this same reason!). I have heard this concept many times since, and as has been mentioned already, it is Mefurash in many Gemaros. I so not understand what this Rav said at all.
Wow – I know a lot of stories that would fit right into this thread. Here’s one now. A friend of mine’s car broke down in the middle of a date. A date that had not gone well; they both knew that it was over. He called AAA, and they sent a tow truck. The driver was a VERY large – as in well over 300 pounds large – and jolly man. Well, he chuckled, there was nothing that he could do for the car. As it was at night, and in a pretty bad area, he did offer them a ride back. Feeling that they had no choice, they accepted. The tow truck had three seats – all in the cab. The driver took up most of them. And so they squeezed in, while maintaining distance as much as they could. The driver was a in grand mood. “So, you Jewish?” My friend grimly and monosyllabicly answered, “Yes”. “Well, I’m not Jewish. But I am circumcised!” The driver then went on to tell the hilariously funny story of just how and with what his father had threatened the surgeon if the circumcision would go badly. By the time they pulled up in front of her house, it was very late (this was before cell phones), and her entire family was worriedly outside waiting for them. They were therefore on hand to witness them spill out of the cab like so many circus clowns.
*shrug*. And I find the hundreds of jokes that denigrate marriage in the other thread to be highly offensive. And some will find the many jokes that make fun of women, blonds, etc. offensive. There are precious few jokes around that nobody would find offensive.
R’ Elyashiv, R’ Chaim Kanievskey, and many other (perhaps ALL other) Gedolim Pasken that while certainly not a Chiyuv, kidney donation is not only Mutar but a tremendous Mitzvah of giving life to another. And to second what the Mod said, I have not, in my somewhat extensive research, come across any recommended lifestyle restrictions other than a prudent suggestion to refrain from contact sports lest one lose his only kidney. Exercise, drinking more, etc. I have never heard of as recommended after kidney donation – sounds like plain old general advice to me (and in the case of drinking more than one needs to quench his thirst, not necessarily good advice). The remaining kidney grows larger and does the exact same job that two once did.
It is an empowering and humbling concept. Each individual is an “Olam Malei”. As other here have said, Hashem would have created the entire world just for me. On the other hand, that also presents me with an awesome responsibility; it reinforces the mindset of not relying on the merits of others to keep myself – or the whole world! – going.
As far as I know, there is no Inyan to Davka have honey per se on Rosh Hashanah. The reason to eat it is that it is so sweet, much more so than sugar. Mead, however, is not sweet (I think – am I right?). Hence, drinking mead on Rosh Hashanah is more likely to garner an alcoholic year. Or perhaps an archaic one.
Absolutely nothing. It’s like hearing about a Bachur that he’s from among the top Bachurim in his Yeshivah. Fluff. One who really cares about finding out useful information in Shiduchim has to dig and ask very specific questions. This can be done nicely, but it requires persistence.
From the New-Jersey Star Ledger:
“Even with diligent compliance, however, a patient on dialysis faces a shortened life span. An ordinary American, age 30-34, can expect to live 50 more years, while a patient on dialysis, of the same age, can expect to live 11 more, according to the U.S. Renal Data System.
For someone receiving a kidney transplant, the life span for that age group increases to 30 years.
“A transplant is not just life-altering, it’s truly life-saving,” says Shamkant Mulgaonkar, chief of renal and pancreas transplantation for the Saint Barnabas Health Care System. “Someone gave you extra years that no other medical treatment does. That’s life-saving.”
I am new to the board, but this topic caught my interest. I am also seriously considering donating a kidney. I believe it was R’ Yechezkel Abramsky who used to have Kavanah in Bentching when he said “v’Lo Li’Yedei Matnas Basar v’Dam” that he should never need a transplant or blood transfusion.