Call me ultra-yeshivish if you want but at least in my circles its not considered tznius to have painted nails so if I do anything I wear clear on my fingers. On my toes I have all the fun in the world!

From what I’ve heard Vayachanu is for chilled out, open-minded girls. I’ve never gone there but I know the person who runs it and girls there. They all seem to really enjoy it. I can give you the director’s number if you want.

Gumball-All schools (I know of) have that- If you come literally a second late, its horrible. I definitely don’t think they should allow latenesses but its totally taken overboard.

msseeker-yes teens can be abnoxious but you can’t call them ALL brats. Not all are chutzpadik… Yes, many can be but not all. I’m not trying to say teens are always right and adults are always wrong. I’m saying adults tend to disregard a teen’s opinion thinking that he’s the adult and a teen doesn’t know anything. It happens many times and no, its not pleasant.

msseeker-First of all, the world changed. They were teens in the times then with the nisyonos of that time and nowadays nisyonos can be very different! Also, adults tend to forget how they were. ex. A girl right out of seminary teaching knows what its like to be a student and if she can control, can be a great teacher. A 40 year old lady can have control but many times can’t connect with the students like the seminary girl did. Adults simply can’t understand what teenage years right now are like because they went through it so long ago.

RK-You THINK you own the world (I don’t know if you’re a teacher or not but that’s what i was referring to) and you THINK everything you say is right and don’t listen to what teens have to say. Teens are right many times. Adults may have more life experience but not everything can be based on experience. Adults may know more but it doesn’t give them the right to disregard a teen’s opinion. Adults have this feeling that they can never be wrong (in my “experiences”)

Some schools are really like you describe. B”H I am in a school where everyone asks questions and its normal. All teens have questions and their goal is to help us connect with Hashem. If your school is not giving the support you need for your yiddishkeit, you need to find another source of support. Many kids go otd when they feel emuna is pushed aside. Talk to a rav or someone who can help you! And yes, I must say you’re missing out! Schools lately have been acting like entertainment businesses. Many, many schools aren’t what they should be.

I’ve had WAY too many experiences with “know it all” adults (mostly teachers) and I don’t trust any of them! They think that cuz they’re older they own the world! Teens can also be right! Everything I say nobody believes cuz “I’m just a teen and they’re the adult”. ADULTS-GROW UP! Just a rant at TEACHERS! Yes, some know what they’re talking about but very few.

If you go to the right person they can really help you. If you go to the wrong person they can mess you upp. I know someome who was going through a hard time and went to a psychologist and became not frum and still isn’t frum. I am going to one (depression) and she’s really good. Some people also work better with frum people where as some don’t care to have someone from the same background. It’s all a matter of the “shidduch”.

Calm down. The world isn’t coming to an end. Hashem is controlling this all. He put these things here for us to take a lesson. Have you realized this happened to someone else, not you? That means that you are supposed to look and think “why is Hashem doing this?” Don’t freak out. Hashem is showing all of Klal Yisrael a major sign. We must do Teshuva. We must do our hishtadlus to keep ourselves safe and the rest is up to Hashem. Daven that He should keep all of Klal Yisrael safe. B”H the boys in Japan who are imprisoned were not hurt. Hashem chooses who will die and who will live. We must trust him to keep us safe because there is NOTHING you can do to prevent an earthquake from happening or a tsunami or murder. No matter how much protection you put up, if Hashem wants something to happen, it will. We learn in pirkei avos that a person should do hishtadlus, nothing more because all Hashem wants is hishtadlus and if He still says no, its no-no matter what you try. We can only change a gezaira with tshuva, tfilla and tzedaka. Hashem is in control. He is protecting those who are supposed to be protected. Do your hishtadlus but don’t panic.

BTW I live on the west coast where e/1’s been saying is the most danger. We have nuclear plants all along our beach and we are prone to earthquakes. Also there’s stuff going around that the radiation can travel here. If Hashem wants something to happen, it will. Otherwise, we just Daven for protection.

Everyone stop saying what should’ve happened. You can’t change the past. Everyone can learn to prevent (no text…) but now she has to deal with it. IMHO, I think it would be ideal if you can gently persuade her slowly over time to stop but in a POSITIVE way. Otherwise many kids get MORE rebellious, not less. Tell her you don’t want to have to “punish” her but she must stop. Don’t over-pressure her in other areas now, let her live. Hopefully eventually she’ll see everything herself. If it does not stop and you must do it yourself, tell her you will stop paying her phone bills. In some cases this won’t work so see her reaction. You definitely don’t want her to pay her own bills because she’ll be very angry at you and won’t try to please you. And most of all, ask a rav who knows you.

A lot of the stories here have been about teachers/principals and I have MANY of those but classmates can also be the cause of many things. I just heard a horrific story of a man who committed suicide because some boys in yeshiva decided to torture him. In such a case, it ruins a person for life. I sufferred for a long time because of classmates (and I had my otd story also) and I am still sufferring. Maybe if I knew that the people who wronged me did teshuva and changed in their ways I would forgive but the fact that now some other people are being tortured also makes me more upset. In cases where lives are ruined because of people, its REALLY hard to forgive. I go to therapy (depression) and many things that I didn’t realize were still nagging me were subconciously being brought to the surface when similar, smaller things happened. People can RUIN each other. They don’t realize what a few words can do. Just a lesson. I lost all my trust in adults, in fact in everyone. Such things cant be changed just like that and so forgiving can take a lifetime.

When I was younger I was wronged by many teachers and principals. It all stayed with me. Now in H.S. about 6 years after most of it, I still cannot forgive them. I decided that if I still cannot forgive them by the time I graduate h.s. I will confront them. As of now, I’m a bit cold to them. Teachers can have a HUGE impact on a person. I went through a lot because of what was done. I’m still deeply hurt by them.

Zeeskite-Totally true but adults don’t realize this. I’m a teenager but I can say that teachers can be SO insensitive.

I definitely don’t mean to be “cruel” when I say that I wish some people would go through things to teach them a sensitivity. Every time I say that to people, they don’t understand where I’m coming from and they just think its cruel. I thought maybe I am cruel because nobody else has ever told me they thought like that but I’m glad to hear you understand what I mean.

When I said doctor I meant psychiatrist. My parents were scared it was more of a mental illness because I was having severe mood swings but that has gone away.

I think one of the hardest parts of depression (any emotional/mental illness) is that it’s thought of as a “stigma” on the person and their family. This makes everything a top secret. True, its just like having diabetes but many people tend to think that its you who can’t deal with life. That’s why its a nightmare in school because when I’m upset I’m forced to shut myself up because if anyone finds out… I can’t be myself at all(although right now I don’t know who I am anymore!).

And really, all you’re doing is amazing! It’s such a comfort to be able to just say what I want somewhere where people will understand me. And on the note of helping myself…I gtg to bed-sleep’s important. 🙂

Let me clarify: Its not that I don’t want to get better. I am dieing to get better! It’s just taking fooorrreeevveerrrr. I’m doing everything possible. I’m going for help, my parents know, my friends know, etc. I daven every single day and I always beg Hashem to send me a refua. I just feel like a hopeless case. It makes me even more depressed when the doctor tells me that I have “severe depression”! That really makes things seem hopeless! And you may not believe it but I keep asking e/1 if its really true that s/1 who commits suicide doesn’t get olam haba or tchias hamaisim because the only reason I’m still here is because of that :(. Also, I know nobody has a perfect life but they definitely can be carefree sometimes. They walk around full of life and happiness and I’m like “how could they…”.

Kapusta-Its good to know SOMEONE understands! Anyone who was never in the situation can’t and that’s why everyone tells me I’m cruel.

A huge thank you to everyone!

Kapusta-Thanx for your advice. It’s anger toward the fact that I can’t get over that some people just have these “blissful” lives. Even if they are going through something at home, they’re there, in school-all cheerful and bubbly. Those same people are the insensitive ones (many times). I guess it’s jealousy and I know its cruel but I almost wish they had some hardship to teach them sensitivity. I can’t run away. I’m like that in school too which is why I became very quiet.

I don’t get what you’re saying about attitude. When someone’s depressed their attitude is negative. If I could change it, I would. I can’t and that’s why I’m saying attitude can be everything in CERTAIN situations, not all.

observanteen-The problem is that I’m reading other books and if you do too many things at once it only confuses you so when I finish the books I’ll try the next thing but thanx anyways.

papa-what I was trying to say is that someone who’s depressed CAN’T change their “attitude” because depression makes a person negative. Yes, in some cases attitude can help but in many cases it can’t.

Attitude is not everything. Many things cannot change.

Also, many people have hardships that have to do with other people (ex. s/1 who’s sick). Such things are hard but its possible to cover up or escape the situation when in school. When the hardship is in YOU its impossible to escape. It follows you around which makes you not be able to have relief, even in school. Teens are very insensitive (myself included) and they’re quick to judge. Just realize, people are going through nightmares that you can’t even understand so don’t be quick to call them “a nerd”.

I’m done my rant. 🙂

I know someone who’s father died as they were dancing their way back from the chupah. She and her chosson continued as usual with sheva brachos… but the rest of the family couldn’t partake in a lot of things.

It seems like there are always challenges along the way. They say everyone has their share of nisyonos-does that mean that everyone is always having s/t tough going on? When I’m over with what I’m dealing with I won’t have a break?! I can’t!

Someone I know is suffering from depression too. I just heard that 20% of teens suffer from it so know that its not unusual. Keep going to your therapist-it takes time. Stay strong. You’ll get through it! Feel better!

Shuli we all agree so we’re in it together. I have like 3 tests a day plus a few reports this week-Its crazy! I probably won’t even be in the cr cuz I’ll be so busy studying:(

If he was kidding, fine. BUT, there have been lots of ppl in the cr who are preaching about how teens think they know e/t…

That’s precisely what I was trying to say.

First of all, a lot of these “ceramic irons” are not completely ceramic so check it out. Also, I found that if I take thin groups of hairs and put it through the iron a bit faster (even if its multiple times) it doesn’t get as burnt. Make sure your iron temperature is appropriate for YOUR kind of hair. If you have fine hair, you can leave it on the lowest thing. Also, blow drying it smooth before ironing can help tremendously and its not hard (I can’t blow dry hair straight so I just blow it smooth and then iron).