Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
hear, hear!
The Coffee Room Band…the band that never sleeps
The Coffee Room Band…the band that keeps you going
Popa: Good for me cuz I can care, but i dont have to suffer the consequences of caring. Good for you cuz there’s someone out there who cares about you but you dont have to worry that I care cuz I’m not gonna dig up your personal life by getting involved!
seriously, would you tip a therapists? how much?
imho, a bus driver should be tipped cuz he can really mistreat you by causing an untold amount of aggravation and time.
There are so many people i would like to tip but i just cant afford to! Its not like you can just give $5 or $10 to someone. If your giving money or a gift certificate it has to be at least $18. The cheapest way is to buy a gift. But what? Every year for the same bus driver you’d buy cologne? whiskey?
Can i just write a nice thank you card?
So then its a good thing i’m taken! 😉
i wanna play the harp!
Popa: I wasnt asking for an apology. Just wanted to know if everything was ok. You’re right, I’m not your wife, but I do care.
Popa: Just wondering if everything was ok. I noticed that you your usually fun to read/interesting/amusing posts started to get sharp to the point of being offensive to some.
Health: its good to have someone with medical knowledge share their insights when these topics come up. so thank you!
truthfully, its unreal how it started to be an accepted practice to go away for pesach, then shavuos, r”h yom kippur, and chanukka! The thread should be labeled: anyone home for chanukka?!
Health: “They’re screaming college is Ossur, but they will teach – this is the way to handle it when you are there.” This is true, however, i meant that these schools should prepare their students for how to face the real world. Not necesarrily college itself, rather the workfield, or just every day things. These girls and boys are going away from the closed environment of their schools and are ‘on their own’ sort of.
aries2756: thats true. I understood the OP as the child going to the bathroom.
zahavasdad: Like i mentioned before, i believe college is important and should be an option to all. I didnt go for my own reasons. I went straight to work, in a Frum company. It was a culture shock to me too and that is the reason i believe that schools should prepare their students for the big and scary world we live in.
yeah, the in laws…
Its quite a coincidence that i foudn this thread now. I was just met a friend who lives in another state and she told me how its so weird how the women in her neighborhood drink liquor and wine like any other drink! I guess it depends on where you live, or how long you want to live…
flower: I usually tell my kids that everything in Totty and Mommy’s house belongs to Totty and Mommy. And that we share our things with you. In a situation like this, i’d tell child B that child A had it first and next time would be their turn. For now, when my children are young, they listen. I dont know if this would work with 7 or 8 yr olds; although i do hope that by that time my children will have learned a thing or two. 🙂
Some mentioned that the men should walk in front of women. I personally am afraid to walk alone after dark. When i was dating, i walked next to the boy or a bit ahead of him, for security. Until today, i walk near (or if no room on the sidewalk, ahead) of my husband.
Skiaddict: i’m sorry you had to go through that! We can all learn from this that there are people out there who judge! and they will talk to others, and they may even make or break a shidduch! I’m in no way tryin gto judge you, but maybe we can learn to check the mirror and only leave when we are happy with how others will see us…pathetic, i know. But that is the situation..
Health: I went to one of those kinds of schools where they dont encourage college. I never went, but not because they said so. Many of my friends got their degrees through sara schneirer, raizel wright, and some did go to college. Yes, you’re right that my school was one of those that hold its assur, but the bottom line is that many, if not most girls, go to college or work in a differnt kind of environment. My point is that the BY and Yeshivos should prepare their students of how to behave in those environments. Even if they hold its assur, they should be teaching their students how to live the way that they were taught in this confusing world.
Thanks for your input!
the price for seminaries are higher
Health: to answer the points you made:
-I understand that a BY or Yeshiva may hold its not a good idea to go to college. But in this day and age, when most men and women have to work to pay the bills, wouldnt a good yeshiva or BY teach and engrave the middos and hashkafos that the girl/boy should have to be able to go to college or at work.
-To my knowledge, a BY or yeshiva is there to teachtorah, to teach middos, to teach how to behave when they do leave the BY/Yeshiva setting. Not to dictate. If one goes to a chassidish school, say the gerrer (sp?) yeshiva, yes there they teach one specific way of life. But your average BY, say Bais Yaakov of BP, its for all types of frum girls. I dont know if I’m making sense, do you understand what i mean?
i agree with usa-tralian, this thread is very offensive. I hope none of you have to live with someone who has MR, and for those of you who know someone with MR and played along on this thread, shame on you!
ICOT: nice!
i’m here!
when i’m a guest at someone’s house, i will make the beds. But if i’m a guest at my parents or in law, i will strip the beds and fold the blanket and linen so that its not a mess when you walk in.
The reason i dont strip the linen by strangers is because i notice that many blankets have stains on them from prior use. I think it’d be embarrassing to the host to walk in and see the stripped bed and their stained blanket there. Besides, as a guest, i wouldnt want to see those stains!
This issue bothers me too. I believe college is important and should be an option to all. Why would a BY or Yeshiva discourage their students from going?! I understand that its mixed (although i believe touro has seperate nights, not sure though) or that you’ll have to learn about things that they wouldnt teach you in a BY or Yeshiva. But hey, is the BY or yeshiva agreeing to help pay bills?! Are thye goign to make up the difference that a boss would pay to hire someone with a degree than someone without?
One of the reasons BY and Yeshiva is there is to teach the child torah and show them the right way. They shouldnt dictate a persons life, they should encourage the right way and show them the positive way to go about things. If a BY or Yeshiva is worried about a child changing because of college, could it be that they arent doing a good job?!
after hearing my daughter and her friends saying “i’ll be your best friend if you give me…” I’ve had impulses to go to my boss and say the same thing for a raise!!
msseeker: You say you know this is happening. But thats obviously not meaning much to you! Dont think that just because you only know of a few cases that there is nothing else going on. UNFORTUNATELY THIS IS MORE COMMON THAN YOU’D LIKE TO THINK! CHILDREN DONT NECESSARILY KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING TO THEM! THEY TRUST THESE INDIVIDUALS AND WOULDNT THINK THAT THIS ‘CHASHUVA’ PERSON WOULD DO SOMETHING WRONG! IT COULD TAKE YEARS UNTIL THE CHILD REALIZES SOMETHING WRONG WAS DONE AND HAS THE GUTS TO REPORT IT! Go online and do a search, you’ll find a list of Jewish molesters who were outed by teh children who are now adults! Baruch Hashem your children dont know about it! Baruch Hashem my children dont know about it! But it is very real! And deep down i’m sure you know it too, otherwise why would you ‘educate’ your children to prevent it? No, not every teacher/rebbe is a molester, but there are too many! Its terrible that our rabbanim sweep it under the rug!
Cherrybim: ur right, its easy to talk the talk. And its just as easy to scream a scream! I know i might be scared or too horified to go over and pull the child away, but i pray that i’d scream! one cannot just stand by or walk away!
o gosh, i cant stop laughing! i guess i’m doing one of my childish impulses of bursting into laughter in a quiet room!
Around the table
My family sat,
They nicknamed me “Miritchka”
And that was that!
The mods were so nice
When they accepted me,
They made me a “Member”
Of the CR family!
🙂
MoodcheDoovid: Good point, i guess thats a great line to keep in my head when i see this. Thank you!
mazel tov!
netazar: lol! not that way! I meant maybe working in a medical office (receptionist or clerk..) to see what its about. Or maybe become an MA, which requires much less schooling, and before continuing, work a little as an MA to see what you’re getting into.
I’ve been chalishing to try zumba out. just never had the time. after reading all this, maybe i wont.
I understand why some of you would feel that certain types of excersize might be untznius even in front of women, but to go ahead and say that all excersize is questionable?!
I used to go to the gym all the time. Now that b”h i have my own family, i dont have time. But i can tell you that the few times i wake up extra early to go to my basement and do excersize, you cannot imagine the energy it gives! For me, its much easier to do excersize in a group as opposed to a machine or on my own. So please, dont bash those women who excersize until you’re the one who takes care of all the responosiblities that a mother does.
farfetzed
Mazel tov! cant believe its only a year!!
ANONAO: I think having a degree is a good thing. However, you’re right about people working before they get their degree.
When someone is in, say, high school and passes all science subjects with flying colors, dreams of being a doctor, goes to med school for a couple of years, finds it not what s/he thought it’d be and drops out. This is why i think working before getting a degree might be a good idea for some.
skiaddict: i hear ya’ and yes, I’m sure I do things that annoy others. My point was that this bothers me to no end. I understand they are in desperate need of money, maybe even more than the average needy NY’er. But that still doesnt give anyone a right to park illegaly (specifically blocking others driveways or blocking parked cars from pulling out).
Its enough that a whole group of them , sometimes more than one car, jumps out, annoying mispallelim (i’m not a man so i cant really say much about this part), running down streets expecting women to quickly move to the side without so much as a glance or an excuse me so they can catch another minyan down the block, but do they have to annoy those same mispallelim that live/park their cars on the block and give them money by blocking their cars?!
ok, to everyone that is bashing Health: I’ve read some of Healths posts and I have to say that if you really read the info s/he writes, you will see that its useful and seems to be truthful too. IMHO, Health is passionate about what s/he writes and therefore it comes across in his/her posts.
The first time that Health responded to one of my posts, I too felt ready to defend myself and bash him/her! But now i see s/he means no harm.
So everyone, just take a deep breath and calm down! 😉
gefen: thank you!
BaalSechel: You may be right most of the time. But I’m referring to those meshulachim who borrow or rent a car and all the passengers including the driver leave the car parked illegaly.
i hear ya. my question is, why are not pregnant women wearing maternity? A recent style is to wear these very loose sleeveless tops over a long sleeve shell and the front of these sleveless tops are gathered with a design of some sort or a seam across the top with teh rest of the shirt hanging loosely, similar to the maternity style…
But you have a point except that its not only a problem with maternity clothing…
I have to say that i believe in “spare the rod and spoil the child”, i did potch my children at one time, but i stopped because my husband told me about how wrong it is to hit out of anger. I know that when i did potch there was anger there too, otherwise i wouldnt want to potch. B”H i’ve worked on myself and i can say that i have learned to control myself. I hold their hands together and tell them to look at me. Then i talk quietly and firmly (like littleapple metioned) and tell them that what they did was wrong and that they made mommy very disappointed. Then depending on what the child did, i’d either give them time out, or send them to their room to think about what they did. (yes my kids are very young but i tell them what they did was wrong and that it makes mommy sad/disappointed and how they can make mommy happy. Then i send them to their rooms telling them to think of ways to make mommy and totty proud.)
A Heimishe Mom: First you wrote “The big catch? The in-your-face attitude. Simpler lifestyle? sure. But EVERYTHING you do is noted, and held against you. I couldn’t deal with the accountability. My housing and tuition cost way more (though my taxes are lower), but I wouldn’t trade my low-key mixed yeshiva community for that.” I totally agree. I’m not saying that flatbush/boro park/kensington (areas near my home) is not like that at all, but the people here are much more accepting of different types.
Then you wrote: “The trick is to B) to choose a school that is right for YOU and your families hashkafah. Not every child belong in the Cheder or Bais Faiga. C) choose a neighborhood with others like you. I can say that I DO know such people who have settled and are very happy in Lakewood.” You’re right here too. But even though there is more of a positive tone in this response, its still comng from the same issue of not being able to fit in. Yes, here in NY and anywhere else for that matter, you have to find a place that is your ‘type’. But overall, in order for one to be accepted by the community in lakewood, you have to belong to their yeshivos. And in order to go to those yeshivos/BY you have to change your whole lifestyle. I like to think of myself as yeshivish, but i am accepting of all types and i would not fit in lakewood if i’d walk with people who wear, a baggier/longer denim skirt. Not sure if that was a great example, but its the point that i’m trying ot bring out.
I wont deny that its a big mitzva and for those that can, should give. But there’s a time and place…
What bothers me is that many meshulachim (i’ve noticed this with many mishulachim from E”Y) come with about 5 or 6 in a vehicle, and just park their cars blocking peoples driveways, double parking, etc… I know it may sound selfish of me, but who do they think they are to just come here, zip into an empty space, not looking to see if its legal, jump out of the car (literally), and run across the street or down the block?! I’m not a man so i cant say anything about the annoyance of being disturbed during davening. But those feelings always burst into my mind when i see this. If someone has something for me to tell myself (i’m not talking about ‘B”H i dont need to fly overseas to collect’, because i do feel sorry for them.) I would love to stop those thoughts but find myself fuming when i see this time and again.
What is going on?! How could such a thing happen?! When i read the thread about this whole “scandal” i was shocked and hurt, but now i dont know if i felt worse then or now…
AYC, i apologize that i believed what was ‘said’. I dont know you and i cant believe that i misjudged you based on someone else’s feelings… I hope you come back…
Ice-cream: lol! although i do feel a connection to many of gefens posts, there is no connection between the 2 of us that i know of.
Gefen: i believe you, although if you did know me, i’m not that bad…lol!