miritchka

When i was single, i loved giving the $250 for a “free” prize. Its a great way to ‘get’ people to give. Unfortunately i have too many close charities to give to and cant afford to give to the many requests i get.

Unfortunately i have a weakness that if i do have ‘extra ma’aser’ left over, i will probably give it to a place that i can gain from. i know i sound very petty, its something i’m working on…

At one point, I thought zeeskite was a sweet young lady. Then one fine day the tone of the posts changed and i got the feeling that zeeskite was a not so sweet gentleman. I think that one used a capital K and one did not. At this point, i dont know who is who.

MorahRach: I am a frum woman and i am not afraid of dogs, provided they are not off their leash in a public area. I dont get scared by animals noises, ie: barking, growling…, if they are behind fences or on a leash. I love petting zoos/farms, i love horsback riding. I know i am not the exception and that there are many more like me. Whether or not one is frum or not, or whether one is male or female doesnt affect ones fear of animals.

Being afraid usually stems from a past experience. If a child (or adult) gets startled by a dogs bark, chased by a dog, etc.., could make one afraid of dogs for life.

Or one can just not like dogs (or people) due to always getting barked at.

Red Nails: “maybe you’re living in a little shteltle somewhere in yehupitville, i dont know. but i know where I live, in New York- EVERYTHING is OPEN, and all our kids see and hear all the psychotic stuff that goes on and all the garbage. “

Mammele: “Although most of us were happy with the “old Lipa” he’s traveling all over the world for really big bucks, not all these guys are so frum and he’s trying to both impress and “blend in”.”

This is a problem not only here but all over the Jewish world where we are trying to ‘blend in’. We are different, we are special, we shouldnt try to blend in! Isnt this the reason we were taken out of mitzrayim – the fact that we remained pure and lived solely for Hashem? That we didnt change our clothing and language?

If we know our children are exposed to all the garbage, we should be doing other things to distract them from outside influences. I’m not experienced, but just letting children listen to things we know they shouldnt listen to, or wearing things we know they shouldnt wear, or doing things we know they shouldnt be doing, etc.. because we live in a society where everything is open so ‘lets pick and choose the best option of things they shouldnt be doing to prevent them from doing worse’, is twisted thinking.

We are an am kadosh and we are different…

I’ve never been into Lipa’s music to start with cuz i dont speak yiddish nor do i understand it when its spoken/sung so quickly.

Seeing his music videos were entertaining at first. Clean, with meaning, and was done because (per the rumors i’ve heard) he wouldnt perform in front of mixed crowds. This made me recognize him as a wonderful singer who could have a major impact on his listeners.

However, as the style of his music changed and his appearance at live concerts/performances/circus’ went from none to seperate crowds to family seating, I saw how wrong i was.

Like i mentioned before, I’m not a fan of his in general, but i was dissappointed as there are many, many teens who admire him and they are the most impressionable of all.

His attire in his music videos too went from clean to questionable. I did see his most recent music video – miracles – and was appaled at how he changed his mode of dress and how his Jewish (i sincerely hope they are) backup singers were dressed. I mean there were some scenes where it looked like he was placed in a non-Jewish music video!

Hopefully this whole ban issue will speak to Lipa and bring back the real Lipa that we can look up to once again.

Mercury: Bsha’ah tovah! This is such exciting news! I hope you have an easy and smooth (rest of your) pregnancy, labor and delivery!

Its great that you’re getting so much advise here. But i think that you have to realize that there is so much out there, and so many different opinions. Perhaps your question should be a more general one, like what do i need to buy for a first baby?

I’m more of a simpler shopper and many of these things that were mentioned are not necessities.

For example, this baby bundle thing, while one baby may love to be bundled in a cuddly blanket, this may not be how your baby likes to sleep. Or you could just learn how to swaddle your baby in the hospital. I did not spend money on a special swaddle/bundle blanket for any of my children, rather learnt how to swaddle in the hospital and saved a couple of bucks there.

Ottomans: some say that you must have one where as just sitting in a comfortable chair or on your couch is perfectly fine too and this is a bigger expense to save on.

The best thing to do would be to make sure you have necessities first and as you feel that you need it, buy other items that will make your life easier. I dont know your financial status, but if you go through a list of items that people feel are necessities, you may find you can cross off many items, or you can get ideas about what you might want to get.

Crib

Carriage

Car seat

winter blanket

thinner blanket

baby crib sheets

swing/bouncer

bottles

paci’s (if you are into them)

bathtub

baby shampoo/bodywash

baby nail clippers

warm baby socks

sleepers

undershirts

diapers

snowsuit (or those warm cocoon-like fitted “blanket” that fit to the standard infant car seat so that you dont need a snowsuit)

hat

I know i’m missing many items, but this can be the start of a necessity items list. Or you can visit a baby store and get ideas from there.

Being that our pushkas (not the ones from organizations, rather a decorative one or one that a child made in school) just fill up and overflow until we decide on a place to give the money to, i use the money from the pushkas to give to collectors at the door. I have a fear of answering doors to strange men but i know that if someone is knocking on doors, they must be desperate too.

gavra_at_work: lol! I try not to think along those lines! However, if you were to drive through certain neighborhoods you would see that the majority of people living off of our taxes are perfectly able to work but dont, driving through a frummer neighborhood, you probably wont see mothers sitting outside just sitting and talking. There are bound to be a couple of babies and young children there too making it difficult to go out and work.

Syag Lchochma – thank you!

farrocks – as i mentioned earlier, i prefer that my tax money go to my brothers/sisters rather than others who just sit back on their lazy behinds. Am i wrong to assume that many hide their income to get benefits? very possibly, i wont deny that. Do i know actual cases of my brothers/sisters who do get benefits and are making nice money that is not reported? Yes, many.

There are some that are ashamed that they do it and dont mention it but the others who are proud of thier fraud and have told me that they and their siblings/friends/relatives/neighbors… do the same.

I find it interesting when people complain about tickets. Follow the rules/laws and you wont get one!! I’ve been driving for almost 10 years and no tickets yet, b”h. My father has been driving for far more years than i know and he got maybe 2 tickets! I know many others who dont get tickets, or seldomly get tickets.

Drive carefully and safely!

when she opened her eyes, she almost passed out at the sight that greeted her.

I grew up with my father always making sure the entire sidwalk was shoveled. I believe R’ Avigdor Miller, zt”l, said that the path should be made for 2 people to pass.

Now that i have a home of my own, i too make sure our entire sidewalk is shoveled (and yes we have to shovel not just the 20 feet width in front of our house, we have to shovel the legth of the house too…)

OK, so we have to deal with the candidate that won. I’ve heard time and again that Obama would not be the ideal president. Being easily persuaded in things i dont really know much about, i was wondering if my fellow CR posters can help me understand why we may be in trouble with this prez.

AZOI.IS: Sorry, i dont think they can give out the call logs due to laws of confidentiality. But i think you can think of amny situations where these special volunteers are there to help.

Check the call logs from Chaveirim, Misaskim, Hatzoloh, Shomrim, and any other volunteer organization…And they help all types of people every day, not just in disasters.

golfer: I wasnt sure what the right word was, hence the question mark in parenthesis. Apparently “annoyed” is the wrong word. I dont hear of rabbonim nowadays saying negative when a girl is born, thats why it only bothers me when i hear about those stories from the past.

interjection: i always fall for it ;). I never heard it the way you put it, very interesting! And now I’m falling for your “teretz:!

wolfishmusings: I dont disagree with you. However, while they had their values right back then, they did have more deaths and most of the diseases back then were fatal as opposed to those same diseases today.

poster: hear, hear!!

As apushatayid so simply posted: daven louder.

Health: Thank you for clarifying.

The Litvishe Kiryat Yoelite: Your last post makes it seem that this happens so often by hatzolah members that its affecting traffic everywhere. As mentioned before, it does happen that a member would abuse their temporary priviledges, but it’s not as common as you make it seem. And it definitely doesnt happen so often that drivers wont stop/pull over when they see flashing lights. Please stop putting down a whole group of people because of a few members actions. And to respond to your earlier post on this thread: I can almost guarantee that if you ask any yid out there, and even some non-Jews, what they think of hatzoloh, the first thing out of their mouths will be along the lines of: what they do is amazing and selfless. So please try to focus on the good and suck it up when you see something that annoys you. Just as you would hve to do if any driver starts driving up the shoulder on a highway with bumper to bumper traffic.

avhaben: Its sad that there are members of frum organizations that think they can get away with many driving/parking laws just because they have the plates or the permit (i’m referring to when they are not on a call or off duty). There is no answer anyone can give for them. As a wife of a hatzoloh member, I feel even stronger about the abuse of the placards than others may feel. Its wrong 100%. My question is how can you put down one group of people when they are the minority of people who go through red lights, park at hydrants, speed, etc… Go down a couple of blocks in, BP for example. Dont tell me that all those cars double parked are hatzoloh members…Just because a cop decides that he personally wont ticket a VAS plate,doesnt mean that the VAS holder is wrong and the average driver with reg license plates is not.

The Litvishe Kiryat Yoelite: It happened a couple of times that i was in the car when my husband responded to a call and about a minute after he was dispatched, they cancelled the call. Now tell me, if you saw that i know that anyone would think he was “abusing his powers” by using his l and s and going through the lights. I know i would. Thats why i buried my red face in my lap for a few blocks. Please dont judge!

Health: I usually respect and look forwrd to your comments. And i still do, which is why this comment made me do a double take after i read it: “you get is response from some Hatzolah members that e/o who is a member is a perfect little angel.” While you may not be directly bashing Hatzoloh, this wasnt a very nice comment to write, especially after the many times that other posters (whom i am assuming are members of hatzoloh) post time and again that unfortunately not everyone is 100% honest with the temporary priviledges given to them.

Another question to those that are upset that some cops wont ticket hatzoloh members: Does it really bother you that your fellow Jew, your brother, wasnt ticketed? The fact that he was wrong is between him and Hashem. I always hated it when teachers had pets in school but there’s nothing you can do except to do your best and to do the right thing.

apy: interesting. I have tried to find out the amount of days required and couldnt find it. Thanks!

gaw: I appreciate your advice. Unfortunately it wont be able to work out with my family for various reasons. But opening a school, i dont know if i can do that but i am thinking of opening a babysitting service (in my home) for a minimal “per hour” charge and more accommodating hours than most babysitters in my area.

avhaben: I dont know how law clerks, law professors and dental assistants are paid, but my point was that if i go to the dentist, i am only paying for the service provided, not a monthly fee. I apologize if i wasnt clear.

shmoel: I am not envious of rebbeim and morahs, if i was, i wouldnt have hesitated to become one myself. And when one has a perk at a job it should not come at the expense of paying customers. I want to know that if i am paying for 10 months of school, that i get it (which we don’t) I have alot of respect for rebbeim/morahs, and its not their fault that there is alot of parents that are disappointed with the amount of days off.

Whiteberry: Thank you for your response! you are right that i work for a frum company and that is why i have off for yom tov itself. For chol hamoed and the many other days that the schools give off, i have to use my vacation days and when i use those up, i must pay a babysitter. And once again you are correct that, b”h i have parents, in laws, and siblings – who have jobs or if not, they have, ky”h, their own brood and cannot watch my children. Neices and nephews- too young to babysit. Neighbors – actually not that many that i would trust with my children and the ones that i do trust, are working. Besides, isru chag is not my main concern as my husbands kollel doesnt start on isru chag so he is watching them today.

DaasYachid: I’m sure some rabbeim/morahs do use their days off to tutor or try to get some temporary job to earn some more money. However, believe it or not, i have very similar responsibilities as as they and i dont get that time off, i still work a part time job at night and yes, without that part time job, i would not be able to pay my tuition and mortgage as well as the many other bills. Yes, that “measly” few hundred dollars that i or others would make from working those extra few days, is for tuition. Its very likely that others do the same.

marbehshalom: I love your post! i think it needs to be repeated:

“i am all for giving rabbeim higher salaries but giving then more off days does not help the problem. its not like they can use the off days for a second job.

if parents would have more time to work maye they will be able to afford more tuition.”

Whiteberry: With all due respect, i can probably say with 100% certainty that most Jewish men and women who work in a field other than a yeshiva use their vacation days for chol hamoed and the other days off that the schools give. (i only get 5 vacation days. so that means i work on chol hamoed and erev yom tov… and i’m sure i’m not the only one.)

While it may seems simple to say on paper that you can let someone who doesnt have a job or take your son/daughter out of school to watch your children on their days off, it is not so simple in actuality. Besides, paying a fortune in tuition would probably hold some back from taking their older children out of school for that day/period of time. In my case, my oldest isnt old enough to stay home without an adult.

ZAS and menucha12: After reading your posts, my heart melted. I get what you’re saying. I dont know if i’m reading too much into your posts, but i’ve been there and felt this way when i was single. It’s not easy to understand when a young married couple want to spend time together to grow and understand each other and they are not available to their friends and sometimes to their families too. I kept telling myself i would never be like those snobby, stuck up newlyweds who cant seem to bother with those not on their “level”. But when my time came, although i did call friends when i was able to, it was very seldom. And i didnt always answer when my friends called either. It wasnt because i felt i was above their time, but rather I was busy, trying to become the best wife/housekeeper that i could be-i’ve never been one before and it was all new to me. (i’m still learning!!)

I could be reading into this all wrong, forgive me if i misinterpreted your posts. Your posts just reminded me of my feelings back then.

Aurora: you’re story moved me very much! And like Daniela said, take her comment with a grain of salt…

more_2: You wrote “However someone like that would not keep coming back to this site.they would search everywhere else before coming here. I find it kinda absurd.” As absurd as it may be to you, guess what?! Someone ‘like that’ did keep coming back! Maybe Aurora was interested to see the ‘issues’ or ‘topics of interest’ among the Yeshiva World.

daniela: There are halachos about davening outside, but you dont know the situation that made them have to daven outside. And while it may be “uncommon” for you to go away for Rosh hashana, just open up any Jewish paper and you will see the amount of hotels and get-aways are advertised for not only R”H, but for Yom Kippur too! There are also a couple of different get-aways that are near the ocean/beach and plenty of people take walks on the boardwalk or if there is none, on the rocks and sand. And nowhere in the OP does it say that the children were playing, it says “Then, all the various family members staying In that beach house seemed to come out onto the beach, the children ebullient with all the gusts of wind and everyone looking in wonder at the awesome sea’s billowing waves. ” And then your post continues that they may have felt ‘too holy’ to daven without a minyan, what if it was after the quiet shmoneh esrah and some went to the restroom or some were davening in a place that could not be seen from OP’s view? You say you didnt want to ruin the fuzzy atmosphere, well, thankfully, you didnt.

golfer: you’re right, sometimes the posts do need to be taken with a grain of salt. But in this case, as Nechomah said “even if you’re right, why post such a comment? If you’re wrong, the potential damage you might do is great. If you’re right, so what?”

I apologize if i came across to harsh. I was just blown away by the comments that some could make after such a story, true or not.