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Shopping613: i have only one username but like ‘Oh Shrek!’ posted, i dont want my username on your signature every time you post something. Can i get a certificate anyway?!
mitzvahgirl613: lol! I would hire you just because you are so honest!
This thread is really great! When i used to babysit:
1) I didnt expect children to be sleeping, ever. I knew that they were paying me to watch their kids and they werent obligated to make my job easier. it was much appreciated and if i started after 7:30 the little ones were usually sleeping or in bed.
2) If food wasnt left out for me, i did rummage and took what i wanted. I never took the last of a food item and didnt touch homemade foods
3) If i wasnt warned about using the phone, I did call my parents to check in
4) I did my best to get the children in bed by their bedtimes, sometimes the older ones would stay in their rooms and then come out upon their parents return. How embarrassing!
5) I kept my looseleaf opened on the table so that i looked like i was studying hte whole time. I might’ve been napping or doing nothing, but that is none of anyones business.
6) i did snoop but not in parents bedrooms or offices or read anything.
7) If there was a TV i did watch on the lowest volume and then when i heard them returning, either the car in the driveway or the door opening, i’d quickly raise the volume, put th echannel back on what it was and turn off the TV.
I was a great babysitter and charged a minimal fee. I was always available unless i was already booked. I did well in school and had time for friends over shabbos and in school.
Now as a parent, I would love to have another me…
I started to become a fan of Posh Tomato. Very thin crispy crust an many different toppings. Each pie (very small) is about the size of a regular slice of pizza but a bit more filling. But for $6 a pie, its not more of a treat than a place to go when supper is not ready.
My 6 year old asked me when we were going to go to a relatives chassunah. I told her “first we have to daven to Hashem to help her find her chosson”.
the next day we were walking down the block and she whispers to me “mommy, there’s a big boy. Is that the chosson _____is looking for?” and my 4 yr old pipes up “we found him! we found him!!”
If only it were so easy!!
going through a car wash and walking over the bridge.
When i was really young, it was writing with a red pen.
texting or being on a non work-related website and your boss passes by…
just saying yes cuz you’re too embarassed to say “what?” again, and then being asked your opinion on that matter…
tro11: you keep mentioning how cheap it is to send baked goods over store bought chips and candy. So you’re saying that a can of soda, roughly 50 cents, a bag of chips, roughly 25 cents, and a couple of taffies, roughly 30 cents, which totals (drumroll) $1.05 is worth more than a homemade kugel (by the way, it takes time to make kugel/cake. and time is money too but for arguments sake, just leave it at that.) with a fruit or drink?! You seem obsessed with the “cheapness” of homemade goods. My husband doesnt want us to eat others homemade goods unless he knows them very well (this basically only includes family, not friends and neighbors). Instead of throwing it out, we give it to others who would eat it.
So maybe next year, save the $20 total you spend on JUNK for mishloach manos, with your attitude, its not worth getting mishloach manos from you any way.
Health could be a dr. or not. I could be an astronaut or not. Who cares?! You shouldnt take medical advice from someone over the internet without being examined by him/her first! Besides, there may be a symptom that you are missing or dont think is important to mention. Just go to your dr. and see what he says. Otherwise you can either scare yourself or make yourself feel better by reading some article or post online.
lol! the one and only time i’ve been to a mitzvah tantz, the badchan kept calling out “SHA!” I couldnt figure out why or what he was trying to say!
Syag Lchochma: I apologize if i offended you. The point i was trying to make was that each woman knows her body and should make sure they get to the hospital and not wait it out. As mentioned in a previous post, being sent home from teh hospital means that your body isnt ready. If someone took all the steps necessary to make it to the hospital on time yet still finds that they cannot mae it, there is no question that they should call for help. I have a close friend who every time she goes to the dr. by her 38th or 39th week, the dr. sends her straight to the hospital. She doesnt even know that she’s in labor until she’s ready to push. Every case is different. Every woman is different. I know that as soon as i reach my 9th month, i arrange to have my children picked up from school or bus stops by neighbors or family and pack a bag for each child that my husband or parents can pick up from my house for the night or day or however long they ofer to keep my child for. I have car service on redial before shabbos and money for the car service prepared in my bag too. I keep my bag in our car only removing it for shabbos. I know i’m doing my part and daven that all goes smoothly.
Again, i apologize if i offended you or anyone else.
I too was told that the leg must be covered knee up and ankle down. I’m almost positive its not just because its a school policy.
benignuman: thank you for clarifying the holding of hands from chuppah to yichud room!
ThePurpleOne: imho, i think shmorgs started out as for women but being that men dont always have the same or sometimes very little, food at the chossons tisch, they trickle into the womens section for some food. Also, this is the only time that men can really wish mazel tov to the kallah and the women of the chassunah. Not an excuse, just a thought.
Gamanit: i didnt even think about the safety issue, you are so right.
popa_bar_abba: omg! i couldnt stop shaking my head in agreement as i read your post! Thank goodness my head is between my shoulders so i wont be affected for years to come about the hatzoloh members coming to stabilize it…;)
health: gosh, i think my kids would move out if both my husband and i were on hatzoloh and EN!! Truth is, my husband is one of the few members that actually keep to the rule of not discussing anything about a call he goes on, which brings me to my next reason why this is not good for women…;)
skype: i could be off, but i believe that hatzoloh deliveres babies in about 80% of full trauma calls (preg related calls). If anything, a woman will be greatful as opposed to embarrased to the point where she’d be affected forever. As mentioned by PBA, she shouldnt be using hatzoloh in the first place (unless a real emergency came up). The fact that she had to call should make her embarassed. And yes, i’m a woman who has had children and will have another real soon, iy”h. Be responsible and get to the hospital on time.
superme: as i mentioned above, i’m a woman and have had children. I too believe that popa_bar_abba and Health are correct in their opinions about women calling hatzoloh/EMS for childbirth.
Ctrl Alt Del: lol! Although most of the time it comes across that popa_bar_abba and Health are extreme, I have to agree with them here. If you would know the amount of calls that could be given first aid at home and then driven to the hospital without having to call hatzoloh or EMS, you would agree with them too. When my husband comes home on a friday night way after everyone already finished their seudah, and makes a comment about how the call he went on was a frequent flyer who calls hatzoloh over non emergent reasons, it makes me very upset. I’m glad he doesnt go into details or mention names, otherwise i’d really lose the schar i might be getting for him going on calls…
FIA: +1!
rebdoniel: “professional male doing his duties is not a situation of pritzus. There is nothing sexual about delivering a baby, unless people’s mistaken ideas make it out to be that way.” +1!
IMHO, this is so wrong. Whenever i think of this group of women, I just keep seeing this image in my head of a mother making supper, listening to her children talk about their day, rocking the baby with one foot, keeping an eye on the laundry, preparing snacks/lunch for the next day, etc… and running off in middle to help someone else. Not exactly so ideal. A mother should be there for her family.
I personally am more comfortable with a male dr. and i know many others who are too.
Maybe i’d get used to the idea of women responding if they ever are accepted, but i just cant see it now.
I’m not chassidish and have only been to one mitzvah tantz. I cant say i felt anything special as people have told me it’d feel. I dotn understand it and frankly, i dont care to understand it as it isnt my minhag; unless one of my children marry a chassid. I highly doubt it’s done in a derech of untznius as great chassidisher rebbes dance the mitzvah tantz. Fro those of us who dont have this minhag, it may look untznius or disturbing cuz we dont understand it. Its not written in the torah, its a mesorah of some sort.
The custom to hold hands after the chuppah is brougth up in seforim, i dont know where, but many have heard the a couple should hold hands from chupah to yichud room to minimize the hefsek.
Usually the shmorg is for the women and the men are supposed to be by teh chosons tish. Due to the fact that the food served at the chossons tish is usually just cake and herring (or something like that) and the womens section has the hot dishes, many men feel that they could go there too…But there are some close friends and family members who will go in to teh womens section to wish mazel tov to the women of the chosson/kallah as there is no other time to wish them mazel tov.
loca: +1
saysme: yup! maybe their 4 inches…gotta double check…havent worn them in a long time…i’m tempted to crash a simcha just so i can wear them…
wow, that is terrible! ever since i learnt about the issur of opening someone else’s mail, i am overly careful, i wont open or throw out even an advertisement that i’m almost 100% sure will be thrown out by that person. All mail that does not belong to me gets returned unopened. We’re still getting mail from the old owners of our house and they arent alive anymore, we return them to the sender.
I always wore heals even though i am on the taller side. I stopped when i met my husband cuz he’s maybe 2 inches taller than me. After a couple of years i bought a pair of 5 inch heels! Hubby likes ’em, I really like them but only get to wear them seldomly when i go to a simcha or if i have the energy to get dressed with shoes on shabbos…I feel so dressed up in them.
Why shouldnt a woman buy something they feel and look good in? (unless of course their hubby’s dont like it…)
As i’m reading the posts here, i’m starting to have doubts about the details. This just doesnt make sense that any teacher, let alone a rebbi in a girls school, would act this way.
If it is true, ditch his class. This doesnt sound normal. And even if it might be hard, as i mentioned before – go over his lessons with another student so you know whats going on.
superme: my children are very young and even if they dont have to, i want them to get used to washing negel vaser
In regards to washin gnegel vaser after the bathroom, I was taught to wash each hand 3 times until recently someone told me that all you have to do is wash your hands, not mechuyav to wash 3 times on each. So, should i start just washing, or am i supposed to wash 3 times on each hand? Am i now mechuyav to wash 3 times due to my always washing 3 times on each hand more than a chazaka?
ZeesKite: this is not a rant against mitzvos, it’s a “rant” about how for those mitzvos, usually ones that involve a time limit, can be difficult for many of us. The examples given: A) buying an OU product only realizing its OU-D afterward, is frustrating cuz you really want it, and wouldnt have bought it otherwise B) shiurim tapes missing, not a complaint about having to listen to shiurim, but the fact that he cant cuz they arent there C) forgetting to shut a light before shabbos, not a complaint about shabbos, but frustration that I forgot!
Poster: as often happens with teens, they dont think straight and always think they are right. Sometimes my heart gets the better of me and i feel like i just want to comfort the teen and tell them it’ll be alright or shake ’em and tell them to wake up and smell the sunshine. But once it starts getting ugly, i keep my distance.
I do prepare negel vaser for my kids by their beds, rather they do it on their own now. But if they wake up in the middle of the night, they usually forget to wash negel vaser and asher yatzar. If i wake up from them, I will call out ‘dont forget to wash asher yatzar’.
+1. However, if you read between teh lines, sometimes its a cry for help or attention which they arent getting. For example, if someone brings up that someone did something so terrible to them that they feel they arent worth living anymore, I’m not saying the story isnt real or that they are saying the whole truth, it could just be that they need validation that they are worth something. Sometimes reading between the lines is all we need to do.
forgetting to shut your bedroom light before shabbos…
Isnt there something about if its more than a few woman and one cannot discern the voices? I dont know where or when i heard this one.
superme: How is the class going now? Is there only one class in your grade? Does he teach both? Maybe you can switch classes for his class? I’m not a big advocate of “running away” from your problems, but if this is going on for a month already and hurting you the way it is, it might be better for you to not be in that class.
When i was in high school, we had a rebbe once, maybe twice a week. He taught both classes of my grade. He happens to be a fantastic rebbe, but if i was in your situation, I might’ve asked the principal if maybe she can arrange for A)the rebbe to write out the lesson plan for you so you can keep up but not attend his class. B) a classmate of yours who is a good note-taker to make copies of their notes and then you go over them with a friend.
I really feel sorry for you and wish you all the best.
The Goq: +1
MorahRach: Having young children of my own, I can understand how your felt. But i was a bit surprised as i was reading your rant time and again when you actually took the time and energy to answer/retort back to her. People like that arent worth your time, energy or frustrations. Being silent (after your husband apologized and explained) in a situation like this is the best comeback.
Thank you! i will try the bleach…
As another poster mentioned, just saying “i’m sorry for your loss” should be enough.
“I never said I was speaking about Tznius per se. I just personally think hoodies look childish and older girls look like young teens in them and that people should dress age appropriate. This is my impression of hoodies but feel free to disagree. This thread is NOT about Tznius and I think everyone can chill out now (in hoodies if its indoors lol). “
WIY: First you go on to say that its immature looking..then you start answering back about tznius…then you go back and say its not about tznius…then you start to tell a poster that they shouldnt feel restricted by Tznius and how you would never let your wife wear a sweatshirt… ARE YOU SERIOUS?!
Maybe us girls/women shouldnt wear ponytails/pony shaitels?! They are way to immature looking!
And you are obviouslly not a female, from your post about about your future wife. So dont go around saying someone shouldnt feel restricted by the laws of tznius!! I am FFB, grew up in an FFB neighborhood, went to a closed minded very frum BY, had strict “laws” imposed on me by my BY for school wear and for non school days, and even though i should be used to tznius and not feel a desire to wear, say, a more fitted top/skirt, or an on the knee skirt…guess what?! I do! And so do many others! All stores sell items that may not fit appropriately, its up to us, the frum female, to overcome those desires of looking really good and pick something else!
I didnt read through all the posts above. But as soon as i read the first few, a question came to me: We as Jews are a minority. What we want is not usually what goes (unless its on a smaller scale) If us Jews are against this legalization, and we did take a stand against, why would we get punished for something that we did everything we could do to prevent from being legal but due to our small numbers couldnt prevent?
magna tiles…with mitzvah kinder (or any mentchies)
I didnt want to start a new thread, maybe someone can help me out here. A neighbor o fmine feeds the strays in our neighborhood and actually makes trails to bring them to her house. Being near her house is so nauseating as the smell is horrible!! Frankly i dont care if she feeds them forever, if not for the fact that they started to come into my back yard at all hours of the night and meow so loud! I think it is only 1 or 2 cats that are consistantly doing this. It sounds like a baby crying which wakes me up every time. They are worse than my kids were as infants! We put out a powder (looks like black pepper) to keep them away and it worked for a few days. (the container said its good for cats dogs and rabbits)
However, it is getting expensive to keep buying and annoying to constantyl powder our driveway and backyard. I’m so fed up with these cats i suggested we put out poison.
Anyone ever had this issue that can help us?!
After reading the insert, i called to find out more about it. Being easily swayed, or maybe because i am very naive, I almost went through with it for close family members who are single. Basically you have to pledge $36 for 18 months in order to get the amulet and be a part of the shofaros, which is where 1000 people blow shofar and R’ Yechiel Abuchatzeira reads the list of names with special kavanos. In addition to this, the yeshiva davens for that name until there is a mazel tov. Having alot of emunas chachomim, I was ready to pledge. However after speaking to my husband and other family members I was ‘shown the light’.
How could an organization do this to people?! This is such a sensitive issue and to throw it in peoples faces this way is horrible!!
Guess what I learned from all this? Tehillim, tzeddakah (yep on your own terms!), personal kabbalos, saying a specific tefillah 40 days in a row, etc…it all adds up in your favor up in shamayim and may those personal heartfelt tefillos, acts of kindness, kabbalos, bring us all what we need.
Gosh, day 4 of no busses. Doesnt matter that today is MLK, its still part of the strike and its horrible. I wouldnt give those busdrivers anything for pulling something like this on children…(and their parents!!)
From what i understand, they want some sort of agreement that they will be hired for another year. That is so unfair to let out their frustrations on children and their parents who have nothing to do with them! I also want a guarantee that i wont lose my job! Too bad! if my boss decides to get rid of me for a new, cheaper hire, it’s my loss! It’s not fair, but its my loss! What am i gonna do, lock myself to my desk until i get the guarantee?!
Besides, i heard the city pays about $6000 per year per child for transportation (i dont know how they calculate that as so many many children go on the buses and many buses are overcrowded) Why shouldnt the city be allowed to look for a better deal?!
rebdoniel: first i need to complete my studies on our religion before i go studying other religions…and being that our religion is so complex, it could take a lifetime.
Toi: Do you have any suggestions on what i can tell this acquaintance? I’m not very comfortable speaking to him in general. You can compare the way i feel about him as a worker would feel toward their boss.
Is Hinduism the religion that prays to the Buddha statue? Cuz an acquaintance of mine has a Buddha in his home as a decoration. I’ve also seen people dress up as buddah on purim.
popa bar abba: lol!! literally cant stop laughing!! i love that line!!
Poster: Its true that there are 2 sides to every story. However, in this case, as is with all shidduchim, if you dont have something nice to say, a teacher can simply say they dont remember the student so well….as i am typing this, i am thinking along ‘the other side’. If there is something that the girl did back then that could possibly lead to a disastrous marriage, it might be good idea to warn the prospective boy; although i cant imagine what someone could have done while in school that could be so bad that would destroy a marriage…
OnlyTheTruth: If someone is paying less payroll tax (yes i too call it what it is: a tax increase) its because they are making less. If they are making less, than those few dollars do mean something, and it adds up. If they are making alot more and their taxes are alot more, yes its still alot of money, although they may be able to afford to ‘not really feel the pinch’.
snowbunny3318: As i mentioned in my post, I do not know your situation and I did not mean to come across harsh. From your original post I got that you used up all your resources for collecting/raising money in your home community which is why i brought up the situation i posted. good luck with everything and i hope it all works out smoothly and easily!
No question about it, find a new seminary. Or maybe talk to your rav on how to proceed. Its enough that your child is across the ocean, you should at least feel that they are in the safest hands possible.
snowbunny3318: It’s wonderful to learn and experience life in E”Y. I am sincerely happy that you had a great experience, and i dont know your situation, which is why I’m hoping you wont take what I’m about to say the wrong way.
My husband and I are helping to support a family who is in dire straits, a family who has no idea about the value of a dollar cuz they never had one long enough to know what it meant. Its not my place to judge them, and its not my place to tell them how to spend the money we give them. But i did put my foot down when it came to sending their daughter to E”Y for seminary. They have a large family of whom half is married. When the son wanted to go learn in E”Y, and for personal reasons needed to go there, we gladly chipped in to help pay for the flight and part of tuition. After all, there is an achrayis on a parent to send their son to wherever he feels he will learn better. When the daughter wanted to go for seminary, I refused to pay a penny toward this.
Here you have a family who depends on other people for literally the food on their table, to pay for their portion of their childrens weddings, to pay for a young couple to start off, to pay for tuition for the children still in school, etc… How can you ask for such an extravagance? My husband and I are not wealthy, we both work more than one job to pay our bills and sometimes if we’re lucky we can put into savings. I would love to go on a small vacation, but we cant afford to, even with our jobs. And here a family who does not work and depends on others, wants to send their daughter to E”Y?! My husband did not feel the same way that i did, but i told him i want no part in it. Maybe, in hindsight, i was wrong. But i still would not pay for any other daughters to go to E”Y for seminary. Its not a necessity and there are good local seminaries, and some that are a drive away.
Again, I dont know your personal situation, but if you did have to take from others for shana aleph, maybe you can find a job while you are there for shana bet and pay as go? Or maybe go home and find a job and then when you have enough money, go back and experience the wonders of our holy land? I hope I’m not hurting you in any way, but i feel that if you are old enough to go to E”Y on your own, you can understand what I mean.
Hatzlacha and i really hope everything goes smoothly for you.
trim: Mazel tov!! That is such wonderful news!!
bpt: I happen to have a similar opinion, albeit with more pity. But as others have mentioned, this thread is not the place for it.