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They should be built out of snow, they could melt. Use dirt.
Scratch that, dirt is unsanitary. Maybe dont build ’em at all.
Scratch that, that’s racist….
always runs with scissors fast: After the kids are in bed, I am usually ready for bed too! What we usually do is just sit and talk. I love to just talk and catch up and spend time with my husband! He’s not much of a game person in any case. Even if we just sit and read, just being there is such a good feeling!
A blizzard, in my opinion, is when my boss decides the office is closed…
DY: Hey! I like to read about tried and true chicken recipes too!!!
There’s so much talk about the age gap being up there on the list of causes for the shidduch crisis. However, I think that one of the top 2 reasons is probably the fact that both boys and girls (or maybe its their parents) are turning down shidduchim due to “issues” in the family. Be it pysochological/health/number of children etc…
Some are afraid that marrying an only child can be a strain on the couple.
Some are afraid that if there is a psychological issue in the family, it’ll be passed into the young couple’s children. By the way, I’ve spoken to a rav who had an in depth discussion about a certain bochur’s psychological situation with the bachurs psychologist. The psychologist said that in this bochurs case, the only thing that should turn of a girl from marrying this boy, is if this same issue is in the girls family. Now, I dont have any experience with mental/psychological issues, but I would imagine that people who turn boys/girls down because they are afraid, should speak to their rav or a medical professional first. Unfortunately, mental/psychological issues are rampant in the world and unsubstantiated bias is preventing these young wonderful boys/girls from getting married.
Same with a medical issue. Check with a medical professional before you turn someone down.
There are so many diamonds in this world that are housed in great boxes that may have scratches on them. But the diamond is still a diamond! Before you push it to the side, use a loupe on the diamond! Not on the box!
AZ: Maybe NASI could have some sort of program where a medical professional can be available to answer questions from a prospective boy/girl?
I dont have children on the market but I do try to help my single friends. Medical issues are a number one issue that is stopping almost every shidduch from even starting…
May we have many more simchos to share.
When that happens, I usually smile, maybe chuckle if i can, and say “good one!”
Very interesting. Truth be told, anything left behind in this world will only be to the benefit of the family left behind. Once the neshama goes up, everything on this world that “belonged” to it is worth nothing. The only thing that is worth something are the actions we did in this world.
Do I fear the very idea of dying? yes, the fear of the unknown is scary. The fear of not doing enough good and the amount of sins I’ve done on this world terrifies me.
FriendInFlatbush: It seems that the person you are referring to is trying to get validity to stop learning full time. Well let me bring to your attention that not every girl is cut out for a full time learner. Not every girl wants to depend on others to live. Having a job on the side or soem sort of degree in yoru back pocket is very important. There is nothing wrong with that. When i was dating, more than just someone learning, I wanted someone who is koveiah ittim. Not just a bench warmer. If that person was someone who worked half a day or in the evenings, thats fine. Everyone is different and has different circumstances. There is definitly nothing wrong with working part time. If you or the person you are referring to has a concern that his learning may be affected negatively, then maybe he should ask his rosh hayeshiva or a rebbe he’s close to.
The Goq, Veltz Meshugener, WIY, agittayid: +1!
keepitcoming: exactly! no one should do something because society says so.
sem613: it shouldnt depend on the community you live in. It should depend on the boy himself. If working part time and being koveiah ittim part time works for him, imho, i think it’s more important than a ‘whole day bench warmer’.
ubiquitin: Interesting that you tok a different approach then just about everyone else! Good one!
Wow! I’m surprised but I’m also not surprised. I wonder what the reasoning for this is…I guess we’ll have to wait and see.
Hello Downandin: Mazel tov! It’s so good to hear happy news like this! May you continue to have good mazel and good news!
C’mon everyone! There are so many meaningless threads that get tons of comments. When a thread like this comes up, we should all jump to respond!
rebdoniel: My cholent ‘recipe’ is – soaked beans and barley, potatoes, onions, mach bones, flanken, ketchup, mustard, garlic, salt, pepper, paprika. I’ll try the bbq sauce next time and see what kind of response i get.
oomis: I agree 100%, or should i say 99% as one of my children’s first name is yiddish, although we did add a hebrew name to it. My point about the “ee” added onto yiddish names was not to say that hebrew or english names dont have the “ee” onto it, rather i was making a point that almost every yiddish name ends in “ee”-which sounds like it might be a tone of endearment rather than real meaning behind the name. Hebrew names are easier to understand by all Jewish people from all over the world, which makes a hebrew name more meaningful, as opposed to yiddish. As an aside, when deciding which school would be best for my girls, a main factor was that understanding hebrew was above understanding yiddish. I dont care if the teacher decides to count in yiddish or they learn a few yiddish words here and there, but to ‘teitch’ chumash/navi into yiddish when most of the families dont speak yiddish, is just not fair. Why should i push another language on my children 1) we dont speak it at home 2) they will learn how to perfect their english and undestand the tenses 3) davening is in hebrew! Shouldnt hebrew take precedence over yiddish?
Thats my opinion, everyone i entitled to their own
Threw me off too.
oomis: Yehuda Aryeh Leib – there are a few different combinations of theses names that are used and they all mean the same thing.
IMHO, a yiddish name is really a tone of endearment. If you think about it, when you walk into a chassidishe neighborhood, almost everyone with a yiddish name has “ee” added to the end. Like Faigy, Shprintzy, Yitty, Heshy, Leiby, etc.. While a hebrew name has more meaning behind it.
Doesnt ‘ben’ mean the son of, and ‘bein’ mean between?
sm29: I think this applies to everyone.
Zushy: I cant type in hebrew, but can you please explain what the text in hebrew that you typed, means? Also, After reading this thread, I’m a bit surprised that you feel ignored…
I would have to say its pretty easy to convince me of stories about tzaddikim (which is one of the reasons I’m so glad I have a down to earth husband who helps me realize the scams involving giving money to a place that promises that a tzaddik will daven for xyz if you donate hundreds of dollars). So yes, I think i do believe the story.
And I dont know about the rest of you, but when there is snow outside, whether its falling or sitting on the ground, I could sit by the window and just be amazed at this beautiful creation.
rebdoniel: that is a great analogy! I’ve heard it before and to put it to practice, that would be awesome! I wont be home this week or next week, but i really would like to step out of the box a bit and see what happens when i add something new.
So here’s what I ended up doing. I made a regular crock pot cholent. I was going to make it on the stove but I needed my big pot for the soup. I have to buy another big one. I told my hubby about mushrooms and he asked me not to add them. Maybe one day I’ll get the oomph to change it up a bit. I’m a bit hesitant about the mushrooms cuz I really dont like the texture and I’m afraid I’ll end up eating one…
I would avoid being in the same room as a serial killer. Armed or not, a killer is a killer and can use his/her body to kill too.
this is so interesting. In high school, i was friendly with a couple of israeli’s and sephardim and, being the only ashkenaz, had a hard time convincing them that the tav and sav are 2 different letter and different sounds.
Can anyone explain why a) sephardim pronounce the kumatz as a pasach? b) chassidim change around the pronunciation of a few of the nekudos?
Hummingbird: stopping cold turkey is my way too. Some people need to be weaned and its great that you were able to find a way that worked for you!
RisingSun613: thats great! May you continue to have the stregth to overcome..you are amazing! Keep it up!
charliehall: it’s great that you overcame the tayvah to buy a new one!
aishes chover: no matter how its done, if someone can overcome an obstacle, thats great!
fkelly: that’s exactly what went through my mind when i read the first few posts. I also realize how important each muscle is after an intense workout…
Israeli Chutznik: Toes werent created to give anyone opportunities to abuse anyone!
Syag Lchochma: When I tried it that way, I couldnt do it!
Aishes Chover: Do you pause when you say any of those comments? I’m not going to say its impossible cuz i can say really quick phrases while putting on eyeliner. But when i read this random fact a while back, I specifically look to see if people can talk while putting on eyeliner. (although it doesnt come up to often)
Most people cant talk while putting on eyeliner.
mitzvah613 – i was able to do it. palm down, flat, middle finger bent, and ring finger lifted about an inch, not more.
oomis: +1!
oomis: Tales with Taam…will keep an eye out for it!! Fantasy is definitely a good thing for children. i too think it is healthy for a child to use his/her imagination and learn lessons too. But why not read a Jewish themed fairytale as opposed to these horror-type fairytales? There are so many books out there for children that teach the same lesson that one can learn from, say Goldilocks or Pinnochio, that are written by Jewish authors using Jewish ideas and Jewish names. Unfortunately there is so much out there that they will see. Why not infuse them with lessons using Yiddishe ta’am, or fairytales and other figments of the imagination using Jewish ideas and such?
That’s why I’ll be looking out for your book…!!;)
yytz: thank you! Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, I would’ve told my children in any case sooner rather than later. It just so happened that it came up recently
Torah613Torah: meeting someone briefly doesnt really give you info on the person. I went on a shabbaton with my sister a long time ago as a babysitter for her kids. A lady saw me watching the kids in the playground and told my sister she was very impressed by me. ?! She didnt even know my name! She didnt even talk to me! She asked my sister if I was dating and if she could set me up with her relative (dont remember how the boy was related to her). I was still in high school so it wasnt nogeiah. My point is as follows; your post said “Generally speaking, I think a shadchan should have met both before setting it up.” I think and know that many many shidduchim have come to be due to impromptu suggestions. One should not disqualify a date due to lack of knowing more info on the boy/girl.
oomis: thanks! When i get a chance, i will probably go out and buy it. I’m going to try sauteeing onions and keeping the flame on medium until cooked and then lower it this week and see how it goes…
rebdoniel: Reading through the ingredients made me gag for a minute thinking of all those things together. However, I think i will add mushrooms – how much do you put in a 7-8 quart pot? Is an 8oz can enough? (i dont eat mushrooms and cant stand the texture so I will not buy fresh mushrooms. But when my husband makes his steaks with mushrooms I love the flavoring from the mushrooms! Same with farfel!) Thanks for adding your recipe! I love learning new recipes, especially when they are tried and true!
Try the paper goods aisle. It might be called crock pot bags too. When you use them, make sure to always have enough water around the bag – so the only thing actually warming in your crock pot is the water. Otherwise the bag will melt to the crock pot.
Poster: if someone tells me that a shidduch they or someone they know went on didnt work out, i always say its one step closer to their basherte. If you feel you need to say something to this person, you can always tell them that B”H you found out this info now and that they are now one step coser to their bashert!
Syag Lchochma: Isnt popa-bar-abba female? Oh wait, he admitted that he was asking as if he was his wife, which makes him unavailable for your daughter anyway…May you share good news about your daughter soon, bshaah tovah um’tzlachas…
Torah613Torah and golfer: I agree to a certain extent that people shouldnt just throw 2 names together for a shidduch. However, have you never heard of someone being impressed by a girl’s smile and positiver personality, and then setting them up with a boy that they just met at a function who reminded you of this girl due to his pleasant personality? Believe it or not, many shidduchim happen this way.
I guess what we can assume is that many many posters are 12th grade girls…
fkelly: Uh-oh! Was it me? I always try to be careful not to let info that can identify me!!
Torah613Torah: Funny how i was thinking the same thing as i read through that thread before i opened this thread! My opinion would be the same as how children are taught stories in the torah: When they are young they are taught basics and as they get older they learn more details. Just recently I was reading something to my children that referenced the holocaust in a very miniscule way. My 5 and 7 year old, both deep thinkers who absorb everything, asked me about it and i told them that the goyim hate the yidden so much, and there was one place called Germany that started a big war on the yidden and they killed alot of yidden. I also explained to them about goyim who protected some yidden, and that nowadays there are lots of goyim who are friendly.
WIY: that comment about the Germans and the concentration camp was so out of line. WWII was not a joke.
oomis: Any way you can write a book of fairytales with a yiddishe ta’am?! Although i do have a knack of telling stories, 1) I wont bring fairytale books into my home cuz even if i wanted to change around the story, the pictures tell otherwise. 2) I would rather tell a tale about tzaddikim/tzidkaniyos, middos books, stories with a lesson, etc.
seeallsides: While the “stories” in the torah are scary, they are taught to young children in a way that they can handle it. As you get older the “stories” are taught in greater detail. For example: a child will learn about krias yam suf with the mitzriyim drowning. When you get older, you learn how some drowned right away, some slowly, and some suffered tremendously before dying.
reyidd23: most of these ridiculous fairytales are just that and unfit to be read to children. Someone is almost always killed or dies. Someone always does something wrong-but no lesson involved.
tzaddiq: +1
Hashem has given us the tools to help prevent certain diseases, immense pain, and even the death of small children. If all you have to do is a small blood test, why would one put themselves and possibly their children in such a painful situation? (I have the same question about why people dont vaccinate their children, but thats another question for another time…)
One of my children is deaf. I worry about the possibility of having another child that is deaf. I worry if its genetic. I worry about a possible surgery. I worry and worry and worry. A mother never stops worrying. Why would one put themselves in the position of having such anxiety over a more serious and most of the time fatal situation?!
Torah613Torah: As mentioned by golfer, soaking with a cleaner – any cleaner, or could even be soap – overnight, should do the trick. Then scrub with steel wool. I hate cleaning pots and if i could avoid cleaning a cholent pot, i will. That’s why i used an oven bag in my crock pot. My husband likes it better without the bag and i told him that if i made it without the bag, then it would be really nice if he could scrub the pot. He actually scrubs most of the pots soaking in my sink without me even asking…he does do a better job than me.
Mewho: That is so interesting! Can you tell me how you do that? Do you keep a pan of water in teh oven too? Do you cook it uncovered? How much water do you put in? Does it get dry/lumpier than cooking on the stovetop or crockpot? Do you leave it in the oven a whole shabbos, or transfer it?
oomis: where can i get a simmer ring? I put up my cholent on Friday morning so it is completely cooked by 2 or 3 in the afternoon. Would that affect the texture/taste the way you make it?
golfer: it would be great if all seminaries had a real home economics class – like teaching the girls to sew buttons, a hem, how to cuff pants correctly, etc.. how to cook/bake or tips on cooking/baking, tips on house cleaning, tips on child rearing… I always wondered why so many seminaries put the emphasis on learning and delving into sefarim when there should be an equal emphasis (if not stronger emphasis) on being a wife and mother. (I guess this is the reason popa_bar_abba had issues with “veibishe toirah”!!)
Golfer: lol! I just signed on and read your original and follow up post. Thanks! I really appreciate it! I’ll try to remember to let you know how it goes!!
There is another thread from a long time ago on this topic. It is important for organizations and charities to spend money on things that one may see as ‘not the way a charity should spend my hard earned money’. However, I have to admit, and i know i’m not the only one to do so, that when a charity gives you a “free” prize for a donation of $___, i will probably give that amount to the organization even if it was higher than the amount i would give. It may even be more than an organization that is dear to me. Its a shame and something i need to work on. But the bottom line is that it works. And people fall for it.
SyagLchochma: Thanks!
Streekgeek: Thank you! Although i have to admit that when I read your post responding to my post, it seemed that you thought otherwise and may have been hurt in the process. Have a super day!
SyagLchochma and The little I know: I’m sure almost everyone believes that one should get tested (at least I hope) However, you dont have to know what you are a carrier for. Doing your hishtadlus could very well mean having the blood test and going though an organization like Dor Yesharim to see if both sides are compatible.
On the flip side, I always had this question: When someone does check to see if both the girl and boy are compatible, wouldnt this be considered a lack of bitachon? Then again, we cant just sit back and tell ourselves that ‘its ok to marry someone even if we are both carriers’ if we have the tools to prevent sick children or miscarriages or children dying at a young age. ???
Daas Yochid: loved that story! Thanks for sharing!
If you feel that an organization isnt using its funds correctly, thats your prerogative. There are many other organizations that could use money too. (as i’m typing this, it feels so wrong to say that…)
nishtdayngesheft: Actually, i think people do specifically go to certain events over other events because it is run by a charity organization. Using ma’aser at these events is usually calculated by how much one would spend for that item or concert seat subtracted by how much one actually spends. For example, choosing to go to hershey park when it is rented out by the Lancaster Mikvah on pesach/sukkos as opposed to going to a different amusement park.
Interesting that this should come up now. This past Friday as i was putting up my cholent in my crock pot, i noticed that the water was leaking onto my counter. Apparently i had a crack in the ceramic portion. I didnt have a chance to buy a new crock pot so i took the whole bag of cholent (we use a bag in the crock pot) and poured it into a pot to cook on the stove. I had it on high for about 4 hours before i realized that the beans/barley were sticking to the bottom of the pot. Beans were soaked overnight. What can i do to prevent this?
By the way, i think stovetop cholent is much better, but the cleaning is way harder…!
popa_bar_abba: “because then the non-frum people will bear their portion of the whole burden, instead of making us share their burden but not sharing ours.” – Good point. However, I recall hearing/reading somewhere that every child is entitled to free schooling. If you choose to go to a private school, that’s your choice, not the city/state’s burden. The city/state pays approx $18,000 per child in public school. I think i read this in an ad to vote from a candidate saying that he will push to get half of the tuition paid for a public school child, to be paid per child in a private school.
Can you imagine? If this was really true and if this came true, howmuch that would help the yeshivas and the parents too?!
Alas its a wonderful dream, but even if it were to come true, that probably wouldnt happen until my grandchildren were born…which is good too!
ultra yeshivish crowd
Milk chocolate
BachurTzvi: +1!!
Many years ago, many people died or suffered tremendously from these diseases. Most (if not all) of these diseases came about due to both parents being a carrier. Hence, Dor Yesharim was born. Although there are still a large number of people affected by the diseases mentioned above, many many many more have been avoided due to the work of Dor Yesharim.