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Heard it once at my cousins when i was in high school, have been hooked since! As soon as adar starts, its almost a minhag that the CD goes into the kitchen CD player!
amen! thanks!
Mazel tov! i had a boy!
If a toddler is told repeatedly not to go into the street, but sneaks into the street when he thinks he isnt being watched, he deserves to get punished. As a mother, I know that it hurts to punish your child, but on the other hand this is the way to teach them.
If a child misbehaves in class after numerous warnings, then yes, he deserves to get kicked out and suffer the consequences for his actions. He knew it was wrong, he knows whats right, yet he still chose to do wrong. The parents are hurt from this but agree that their child needed to be taught a lesson.
If someone gets a ticket for double/triple parking, its because they deserve it. Every driver knows that it is illegal to double park. Every driver knows how frustrating it is to have to wait and sit in traffic because someone is double parked. Do i feel bad that the person got a ticket? No. I do feel bad that they only thought of themselves in the moment when they double/triple parked, and not the consequences. I do feel bad about the chillul Hashem said driver caused by his selfish actions.
The city/gvt is very obsessive about getting exact details of what it is that your requesting money for. And for copies of invoices/paid bills to prove that the money was actually used for the approved items. Its pretty clear cut. Its very difficult to mess up such a clear and precise process. If any agency/organization plays dirty, its pretty clear that they’ll have to suffer the consequences. And they know it.
Now, I may not know all the details of this raid and what it is exactly that they are looking for, but if all rules were followed, there is nothing to worry about and we only need to daven that there is no chillul shem shomayim.
If someone decided to play dirty with money that isnt theirs, its not a question that i feel sorry for the persons family, and its not a question that the entire Jewish nation will be thrown under the bus, and its not a question that we will all be hurt by the tremendous chillul Hashem, but when push comes to shove, and I’m sorry if this sounds callous, but they deserve to be punished.
This particular subject scares me to no end. Although my children are not anywhere near shidduch age yet, its a scary thought.
I do try to put money aside and daven all the time that we should never have to borrow or ask for money for a wedding. I know that if we do our hishtadlus, Hashem will come through. He always does. I’m working on having this bitachon at all times so the fear doesnt get to me. one step at a time…
I read this and almost cried. I think getting the rov involved is important, or maybe gently ask one of the aveilim to daven next to you and you can say it together.
But this makes me wonder, what if there is, lo aleinu, a child that has to say kaddish? I dont know what age a child has to be to say kaddish, but even if its a 13 yr old, how can they keep up with the adults who can read the difficult words quickly without a problem?
May we only have good things to share.
This is has got to be one of the birth pangs of mashiach.
I read the first page not realizing it was from years ago.
There is no where in the torah that says women must shave their hair. There are minhagim. If someone’s minhag is to shave, then kol hakavod, shave!
Long hair can cause a chatzitza, but with a few extra minutes during chafifah, a woman can be toivel according to all poskim. For most men, long hair is attractive on a woman and I’m glad i can do that for my husband even at the expense of those extra few minutes.
I too would like to read this alleged letter from the gedolim. I find it hard to believe that a gadol would sign to that. But i am open to seeing this letter and to reading the gedolim’s reasoning.
I am a staunch supporter of vaccinating children. I am so glad that my children are in yeshivos and bais yaakov’s with a nurse from the BOE, who must have documentation about each childs vaccinations.
During my last pregnancy i found out that i was not immune to Rubella. I got the MMR after my baby was born. Pregnant women are usually notified and advised by their OB’s to get specific vaccines if they are no longer immune or if they are vulnerable to a disease/virus going around like H1N1, Whooping cough, measles, etc.. And why were we instructed to get these additional vaccines? Because of some selfish individuals who will not vaccinate their children and spread the measles, whooping cough, etc..
One who is vaccinated has the ability to fight off that disease/virus’; this doesn’t mean they don’t get it, it means that its much milder and usually not as extreme as one who is not vaccinated.
We are all racist to a certain extent.
I had a conversation with a friend about racism. She was saying how she is so accepting of all types and doesn’t judge anyone based on their skin color. I then asked her the following: If were walking alone at night, and there were only 2 streets to get you home, which one would you take? The narrow street that had a group of ex: Middle Eastern, African American, etc.. teens hanging out? Or the other narrow street that had a group of Caucasian teens hanging out? I wont mention her answer, but she understood what i meant about racism.
Its interesting, I used to judge a certain sect of Jews and say that all of them are apikorsim, based on an incident that happened in my neighborhood at that time. But then i got to know some people and found out later they were a part of this sect. It opened my eyes and made me realize that most of this sect is not like this. Its just a small group of them that make a bad name for this whole sect.
golfer: lol! yup!
DaasYochid: I realized that after I dropped it in the garbage can…
While i cant stand bugs in general, I do have the guts to step on small roaches and spiders that are in my house. However, water bugs, i cant deal with! I cannot stand the hot weather for this one reason only, the outbreak of water bugs! EEEWWWWW! I saw one this shabbos while my husband was in shul. Before my kids saw it, Hashem gave me this huge pump of bravery and before i could think coherently, i got a placemat and a large salad bowl, put the placemat in front of the waterbug, as soon as it got on the placemat, i put/threw the salad bowl over it, upside down so as not to kill it on shabbos and also because i didnt have that much guts to hear the crunch, got a plastic bag and slipped it under the placemat and ran with it outside to the garbage – placemat and salad bowl too!
My husband was so proud when he came home from shul and i told him the story! Although he did bring the placemat and salad bowl back inside for me to wash out…which is another whole story….!
rew: Your post got me really worked up. Making light of a serious issue is not funny. I dont know the process of keeping chickens healthy or what they do to prevent diseases in birds, but if Hashem gives us something to prevent/fight off a disease or plague, we should utilize it. If He wants the disease to affect certain people, no amount of prevention will help. So please, don’t make light of this issue of vaccinations.
I grew up having grape juice/wine on shabbos only. When i’d go to a close friends house, i noticed that they had gold grape juice for supper many times. This friend of mine is part of a family of health nuts. Could be that they only drink fruit juices and water during fleishig meals. When they offered me a drink, they would offer me the whatever drink was out, including the gold grape juice. When i drank it, it would feel like i just got a treat or something really special. (by the way, i stressed the fact that it was gold grape juice to make a point that maybe they only used gold during the week and red/purple for shabbos)
I think its special to have something set aside only for shabbos. For me it makes that food have an extra special flavor.
yiddeshemusic: She has Type 1
Cheerybim: I’m sorry you have to go through what you’re going through with diabetes. From what i understand, there is a difference between Type 1 and Type 2. As i mentioned before, i don’t want to go into detail, as I don’t have enough knowledge about it.
After reading this page, i would like to stick in my 2 cents about why i stopped posting to this thread. I have lived with someone who has diabetes and feel like i know a lot about diabetes. When i continued to read posts on this thread i realized i really dont know enough to try to convince people that diabetics can live a normal life.
I know it for myself. I’ve seen it. I continue to see it. But i dont know enough to back myself up on everything.
So Cherrybim, if you arent so familiar with diabetes and you are getting your info from websites and not from actual people, maybe its time to take a step back.
@mazal77: After reading your post I got so worked up that you could post something like that after reading the other posts before yours. Then I thought about it and realized that painting the world of diabetes as simple and great is misleading. And I’m sorry you’re going through what you are going through.
However, you could have toned it down a bit. You could have mentioned the TYPE of diabetes and how long it took until it was actually diagnosed.
I have relatives with TYPE 1 diabetes and they live completely normal lives. They are all married, have children, and are functioning like everyone else does. Yes, they have to monitor what they eat and how much they eat. But don’t we all to some extent? Yes, they have to be extra careful during pregnancies, more so than the average woman.
Your post is understandable but comes on a bit strong. Although you are going through a hard time, please try to tone it down a bit so that you don’t scare others who are open to accept diabetics in their lives.
@binahyeseira: I hear what you are saying about not setting someone up with a diabetic just because they are accepting of diabetics.
However, I do disagree with you a bit in that if someone is open and accepting to a specific thing, yes, shidduchim should be suggested from that “pool”. If someone said (s)he was open to marrying a person of color, why wouldn’t you suggest someone of color? There are so many prejudice people out there who are ignorant/afraid of the possibility of dating someone who is not “perfect” (well who is perfect?!) and there are so few accepting, warm, and loving people out there who are willing to consider them. Why take away those few options from this wonderful group of people with diabetes or people of color?!
@Tralala: You’re right to a certain extent. However, I’m surprised that this would come from someone with diabetes. If you are living a “normal” life (who’s really to say what’s normal? But lets use this term for now) with diabetes. Why would you discourage others from giving someone else in your shoes a chance?! In fact, someone who knows how to control their diabetes all their life, may be in a better position to deal with the ups and downs of their diabetes than other women who develop issues during pregnancies and have to learn on the spot how to deal with it. And someone with diabetes who is having a hard time dealing with so many children, should speak to a rav. Just as any other woman without diabetes would!
@rebbitzen: It’s nice to see someone advocate for those being pushed down.
@newbee: love that you bumped this thread! I didn’t even realize how old this thread was until i read your post!
@bigben2: I apologize for rambling on. I’ll try to clarify. The OP mentioned that the education of the “good/smart” kids who don’t have issues (which I took to mean children who do not receive therapy or extra help) are being affected negatively due to all the attention given to students with issues.
My original post was agreeing with the OP by stating that there are a lot of children who receive services of some sort, that they outnumber the amount of children who don’t receive services. The teachers have no choice but to give more attention to those students whether its spending time talking with their therapist, parents, and principals.
My second post was to try to support my statement by telling you that so many students do receive services whether they really need them or not.
honestywins: you sound like you have a head on your shoulders! Shout out to you on being honest with yourself and not falling prey to the peer pressure of the many, many girls who return from seminary with the mindset that they must marry a full time learner and support the family both financially and emotionally. Hatzlacha to you in this confusing and disappointing world of shidduchim!
bigben2: Many parents push and beg and plead with the BOE to give their child therapy. Believe me, I know quite a few cases as well as the many stories I’ve heard from the different therapists my daughter has had over the past few years.
My daughter is deaf and truly needs to have speech therapy. Unlike many parents, I feel that if my child does not need the full amount of services she was given in her mandate, I do not use it! She was approved for a few services of which she only really needs a few sessions of the speech and a few sessions of one other service.
I get her evaluated before the school year to make sure she did not fall behind in those other services that she was approved for, but in general, we use only what we need.
This is not the case of most children. And I’m not referring only to the children who have real disabilities and really need these services. I’m talking about those parents that find loopholes, find contacts, pull strings, etc.. to get their child free services.
So, yes, there are many children that have therapy and the teachers do give them more attention.
And with in laws giving money to support, that comes with another whole slew of problems. Many, many times, those wonderfully generous in laws end up telling you what to spend the money on and may show discontent or stop supporting if the money isn’t spent on things they think aren’t necessary, ie: extracurricular activities, hobbies, memberships to libraries, memberships to zoo’s, etc…
Mashiach Agent: I would imagine that the org would be oh so grateful but wouldn’t stop fundraising.
If this donor passes on and has descendants, chances are the donations will be much less if they continue at all. If there are no descendants, then the well will dry sooner or later.
What if the market shifts and this wealthy donor loses all or most of his money?
What if the yeshiva needs a new building? As much as someone may give, there is a limit to what they’ll pay for.
Its an interesting point which i have noticed and have been concerned about as well.
However, another problem, which leads to the aforementioned issue, is that almost every student has issues of some sort that requires therapy or other aid that requires more attention than the average student should be receiving which results in attention deficits for the “average student”.
I would suggest that parents who feel their child needs more attention than they are getting, should consistently call the teacher, randomly visit the class, and in general make herself a regular to the teachers. It could backfire and make the student on the teachers “black list” too though… Gotta use good judgement.
Anyone know the lyrics to the end of the song “I am a mountain so very high! I can reach way up to the sky! The torah should be given on me! Cuz i am as tall as can be! You see!”
Mashiach Agent: Then why would a baby cry over the loss of the upper world?
swim in the dead sea with a cut, you definitely will remember then…
Dont we celebrate a bar mitzvah because he is entering the next stage where he has the requirement of more mitzvos?
Yes you will! Look at the past 33 years of your life and see how much you accomplished! Isnt that amazing?! Look forward to the years to come and what you can accomplish for yourself and others!
Its trendy to complain. Lets change the trend. Let’s be positive about tznius! Its beautiful!
There are pluses and minuses to translation.
As a woman who was brought up in an english speaking environment, my hebrew is ok. I can understand what a paragraph is talking about, but if you asked me to translate word for word, I’d have a problem. I appreciate the english translation in the siddur and tehillim. As well as the chumash – so that i can help my children to better understand what they are learning in school.
IMO, english translation in seforim are good for those that learn on their way to/from work/appts/etc and cannot just ask their chavrusah to help translate something.
I dont think the solution is to get rid of mothers or fathers. Our parents want the best for us and can get carried away with doing research. I think that parents need to be more objective and look at the whole picture instead of nitpicking. What someone’s aunts and uncles do for a living, or where their grandparents came from, should not even be in the discussion of shidduchim.
All my siblings and myself, we all got married pretty young, and I would like to give a tremendous amount of credit to my parents for being supportive of our decisions, doing research that was nogeiah to the boy directly (age, his plans for future, what he is currently doing, his level of hashkafa, a bit about his personality, what he is looking for, a bit about his immediate family..) and calling a few references. As the shidduch would progress, they would call references again or go through the shadchan to clarify some issues.
And left the rest up to Hashem!
As every married/divorced person can tell you, you always learn something new (many new things) about your spouse after you get married that you did not know before.
Popa Bar Abba: If its true that babies cry because they are sensitive to ruchniyus, why do they always cry in shul? Why do they cry by chupah’s?
Da’as Yochid: Good answer!
Mashiach Agent: Whether that’s true or not, that’s very profound! However, I always learned that when the malach taps a baby over the lip, the baby forgets everything from before it was born.
in 1st grade we learnt this song when we saw a mouse in class. the teacher had all of us stand on our chairs and scream this song in hebrew. I’ll just type out the english translation:
mouse, mouse, listen to me
or else the cat will come quickly!
He has teeth! He has lips!
Mouse, mouse, run, run, run!
Was funny, but now that i look back, its strange.
One of my children is deaf and has cochlear implants. She speaks clearly and has no sign that she is deaf unless you happen to notice the devices. She’s very self confident and doesn’t let her disability get in her way. Many a time people have been surprised when i told them she wore CI’s.
As someone so eloquently put it: my daughter has a disability but doesn’t live with a disability.
Would i consider someone with a disability for her or my other children? I would. I cannot deny that having a child with a hearing loss makes me more open minded and accepting of others. Of course it does depend on the disability, but I would not turn someone down immediately based on a disability.
Many people put parameters in with the shadchan. For example: they wont date heavy girls/boys, they wont date someone from overseas, they will only date someone who will support for 5 years, etc…
Honestly, if any of my children would be dating someone of another race and they were both happy, I can say, it would probably be a big pill to swallow, mainly because I’d have to build myself against the gossip and naysayers.
I would never, ever stop a shidduch that was in the process. My parents told me when i was dating, “whoever you marry, we will love”. I felt so good about that, knowing that my parents would support my decision! I daven that I should have the siyata dishmaya to have the same outlook!
I still have a long way to go until my children are in shidduchim, buy I’d like to think of myself as open minded and accepting of all types.
Here’s wishing you much mazel in this scary and confusing world of shidduchim!
When i was dating, i once turned down a boy after 6 dates. I was never sure if i wanted to continue but was advised that if i dont find anything to say no about, then i should continue. At the end of the 6th date, he asked me if he could call me directly without the shadchan. I dont remember what i told him, but I got scared off and stopped the whole shidduch. B”h I am happily married for about 10 yrs…to someone else
I cant wait! I’d love to see a real live eclipse…
If i get an invitation with my name and address handwritten, i know i was an afterthought…
Worst is when someone cant get to the point unless he first tells you the background of the background of the why, the when, the where, and the how of whatever (s)he’s trying to tell you.
oomis: I’m definitely not the same age as you as I am nowhere near grandchildren!! My oldest is 7 and I completely agree with everything you said. It’s heartbreaking to see how some parents have a “loosey goosey” attitude in regards to the safety of their children. I may be nuts but when i walk to work and see a car with the motor on and a child/toddler who is not tall enough to be seen from inside the car or even from the side of the car, walking behind the car, yes I run to grab the child away! Mind you this car was in a driveway. The second i started my sprint, i saw the mother on teh side of the car putting in another child. Maybe I’m nuts but that is so wrong on so many levels.
Another thing that bothers me to no end, is when mothers walk ahead of their children. It doesnt matter what neighborhood you live in, as we’ve learned from past sad experiences, your children should be within your eyesight at all times! All it takes is a fraction of a second for a car to pull out of a driveway, a sicko to grab a child, or a big crack for a child to get hurt. Children are a gift from Hashem and we must guard them and keep them safe! I always tell my children “next to or in front of me!”
writersoul: How true and how sad! A store owned by Jews, in a Jewish neighborhood, selling to a Jewish crowd, should have tznius skirts for all types! I’m 5″7 and its not easy to find tznius skirts unless its ankle legnth. There is a store that deserves special mention for having the tznius reminder in their dressing rooms – that is Elzee. And you may not find the exact skirt you’re looking for, but you can find a nice selection of tznius skirts.
First of all: How would one even know of the non-Jewish songs?! (please take that lightly. It was not meant to offend anyone.) The reason I’m asking is like this: I dont listen to non-Jewish music in my home and i dont hear it at relatives or friends either. When a new CD comes out (by a Jewish singer, obviously) that I think I will enjoy, I buy it and listen to it. I’m not familiar with what originated as a non-Jewish tune and what did not. I will not deny that I was hooked/moved to certain songs that I later found out had a tune that originated from a non-Jewish composer. For me, I’m still hooked/moved and I cannot see anything wrong with it because I dont know what the tune was originally written for! I hear it as a “lebedige” or “hartzige” tune!
interjection: +1!
WIY: First thought that came to mind as i read your original post was ignoring abuse is abuse. Not that this is abuse, but it should definitely be brought to her attention. I would probably say something along the lines of “it might look safe to keep a baby there, but the holes for the legs are too wide to protect the baby from falling out. Can i push your wagon while you hold your baby?” She’d either take you up on your offer or get the hint..
Little Froggie: nothing should be placed on a baby. a roll of toilet paper isnt an exception. Thats like saying that leaving a baby in a bathtub with less than inch of water is ok. As a mommy of an under a year baby, I can agree that we all do things that could land us in hot water if DSS or CPS saw. But putting an infant in a situation that they cannot help themselves in is neglectful and selfish of the mom.
SaysMe: it doesnt matter how thick the snowsuit is, plastic should NEVER EVER be put near or on a child/baby/infant!
Nechomah: The OP wrote “top part so she hadhim lying across the width”, I would assume that means just what it says, that the infant was in the wagon itself. I’m not going to say that i dont do it, but car seats clicked onto the shopping cart arent as safe either, unless the mom is holding onto and facing the wagon the entire time. (“If she’s buying nosh, which this baby obviously can’t enjoy yet, she probably has a few other kids at home, at least one, and you should be grateful that she did not bring the whole load with her so that you would have enjoyed hearing them all screaming” Should be thought not said out loud..)I dont know how you could put someone else down, the way you are going on and on about if the child is in a car seat, where the car seat is, if there are other children, how loud the children would be, etc… According to your own words, it would make sense that you arent a parent either “I think being married and having children requires people to be able to see situations from the other person’s point of view.” The OP seems to be disturbed about how a mother may have put her baby in a dangerous situation and if (s)he was wrong feeling this way.
HaKatan: The OP mentioned that the “baby” was 3-5 months old. I dont think thats old enough to enjoy playing with groceries and if the infant was laying down in the wagon, definitely not safe…
interjection: lol! Actually many people woudlnt think that way if they saw you with your baby that way! I was in a store with a woman who also had her baby in the car seat in the back part of the wagon with groceries all around and asked to take a picture!! Its actually quite safe as the groceries stabilize the car seat from falling back and forth and the wagon prevents baby from falling out!
popa_bar_abba: at least you cant say DY left something out!!
If he feels he is ready, and and you know he is ready (put your feelings about “losing” your son aside for now) then yes, he should be allowed to date. And know that you are helping the shidduch crisis…
Well, I would call this a blizzard. More like alot of snow. (Brooklyn, NY) We had fun shoveling together and even more fun sledding in prospect park! And of course, mah rabu ma’asecha Hashem! I find snow enchanting and to be one of the most amazing creations on earth!
This is a great thread!
After 3 days of being home sick, I am so grateful and thankful that I can send my daughter back to school!
Over a decace ago, i saw a magnet on the fridge of someone i was babysitting at. It was what I call “the grateful magnet”. It said something along the lines of 10 things that R’ Avigdor Miller zt”l said we should think about every day. I dont remember what they are, but I remember going home and every night I would try to remember to go over in my mind something that I was thankful for. After a while I would start to forget until I stopped completely. Fast forward a few years and I started to write down 10 things i was thankful in my marriage/being a mommy and at least 3 things that my husband did that I was thankful for. It made me more appreciative of my husband. I was going through a period of not appreciating my husband and the things he does for me. I felt that I did so much and he did nothing compared to what I did. It made me resent him. This scared me and I tried to think of ways to help myself from these selfish feelings. After all, my husband did and still does alot to help me. Writing something down adn being able to read back on the things I wrote, really helped me see how much he does every day. Even if it was just putting his dirty socks in the laundry!