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Ursulamamish
Cleaning’s not only a chore
It really is quite a bore
The dust that you’re lifting
Is already sifting
Itself down onto the floor.
Even if you are ready and raring
And around the house you go tearing
The work’s never through
No matter what you do
There will be dirt on the clothes they are wearing.
Unless you strip them all down
And have them waiting around
The machine as it washes
And splishes and sploshes
And no one can go into town.
So unless you are all in the nude
Sorry, I don’t mean to be rude
Forget about cleaning
It has little meaning
But they will always remember great food.
My mother always told me that I came from yiches because both of my parents, both grandparents on either side and all great grandparents were Kohanim and Bat Kohanim. None had ever been closer to Hungary than Poland and Russia. Who knew?
Choose your subtitles very carefully – you may have to live up to them. I feel that I must continue writing limericks or risk losing my handle.
Adorable: you just gave me today’s laugh. Thanx. MR would probably use some term that is very 1800’s -ish, like “with child”.
Everyone is waiting for the first ever CR Vort. Get a big place because we are all coming. Because I am Conservative, I have been to many, many engagement parties, but I have never been to a vort – and I really would love to. (I also give nice gifts)
I’m coming! I’m coming! I am coming – not to live – for my first trip ever to Israel at the beginning of March. I am already very excited. The tour I am taking is based out of Jerusalem and we stay at one hotel for over a week, so it is perfect for an “older” person like me – I won’t have to move every day.
If anybody is interested in saving big bucks using their Keurigs by re-using their plastic pods, let me know and I can let you know where to order the plastic lids that you need to re-use the plastic cups – or you can search ebay for Keurig and the plastic lid vendor should show up. That is how I found them in the first place. It brings the price of a cup of coffee down to about 5 cents.
Why do so many posts make me cry lately? I have no words to speak about the truth and beauty of Legen-dary’s words. Please submit this to a publication – it certainly deserves a wider readership. You have true talent.
Shticky, you’ve talent galore
I wish I’d heard much more before
As we can’t find our Miss Blink
I’ve taken the time to think
You will have to fill in a lot more.
Derech – to get to the “meat” of the matter, the flesh of fish is often referred to as meat. Also, some folks have other dietary restrictions to take into account and many of us don’t tolerate something as heavy as meat during extremely hot weather. As long as your Shabbat meal is more enhanced than usual and you are spending it with family and friends, who could as for more?
The important thing for you to remember is DON’T sell yourself short. You are an intelligent person and this young lady must obviously see something in you. Good luck with your relationship and we all hope to hear some good news.
Many women are in professions that require them to keep secrets and they can do it very well, thank you very much. Your assumption is negated by the vast numbers of female doctors, lawyers and nurses, who, by their professional codes of conduct, must conduct themselves with confidientiality. And what about social workers, mediators, Rebbetzins who do counselling, etc, etc.? Even best friends are wonderful secret keepers if requested to – so “lightheadedness” – whatever that is supposed to mean in today’s world – plays no part in the ability for a woman to be discreet.
Sender Av: We are ALL related. Like it or not the Klal is a family – rich, poor, frum and secular – we are all one family. So who is having the family seder next Pesach?
I actually never thought about it at the time I posted earlier. My parents met because my father’s sister married my mother’s first cousin and they thought that my parents should meet each other. Then, another of my mother’s first cousin’s wife’s aunt married my uncle (father’s brother) – so we are related and related and related. Have I got you all confused now? My first cousins on my father’s side are my third cousins on my mother’s side. NOW, have you got it?
“my wife made some out of this world salmon.”
So please tell us how she makes it. I am always looking for new (and easy ways) to make salmon. Lately I have become a fan of a newer line of spices by Club House. I don’t know if they are available in the US. One of them is called “Salmon”. You just sprinkle it on the salmon and bake it. Amazing. There is also one called “Greek”. Just sprinkle in your salad, add some feta and olives – a mechayah.
happiest: There are many people who are not permitted to fast for medical reasons – think of diabetics as an example. There should be no shame in eating on a fast day as “saving your life” is far more important and I think that your Rav will tell you this. At this particular time, your health should be your primary concern.
I would say to check your account again next month and if the error has not been reversed just put this small amount in your tzedakah box and forget about it.
Even if you are not applying to yeshivot, Jewish geography is something that an outsider could never understand. It seems that everyone knows somebody who knows somebody who is related to your mother’s third cousin on her father’s side that came from the next shtetl. It never ends and if you live in a relatively small Jewish community (about 18,000) like I do, things like this are ten times more likely to happen. I recently received an email about being Jewish here and one of the points on it was that at any wedding you attend, at least three people from the bride’s side are related to people on the groom’s side. We have to fact the fact that in overall society, the Jewish world is small. However, the fellow you met showed bad taste in telling you what he did. He should have remained shtum.
It seems we’ve forgotten the limerick page
As for me, I can blame it on my age.
Now it is once again open
And I am sure hopin’
That limericks will be the new rage.
I think that I would email her back and tell her that you feel very badly for her current problems, but that you don’t feel that you are the right person to guide her through this process. Explain that you have a very full plate at the present time and that you know she needs someone with more time to devote to her. Be cordial and ask her to keep you updated occasionally. Wish her well tell her you hope that it won’t be too long before her life is back on track. I don’t think that you have to burden yourself with such a heavy load as she currently has – particularly when you know that if G-d forbid, you needed something, your caring would not be reciprocated.
I certainly must say that Aries has given a most beautiful answer to your question. I also thank you, Airies. I would just like to add that I don’t think that I would like to be a “friend” of this person, because she certainly doesn’t sound like a friend to me. If you are unsure of something (and it certainly doesn’t sound like you are lacking in any aspect of frum knowledge) she can answer in an instructional manner and in a sarcastic manner – and it seems she chooses sarcasm. Also, please remember that Hashem also created artists and the beauty that they create. Everybody needs an interest outside of the home and it is time for you to rediscover your love of art.
Do NOT drink alcohol. It is a stimulant – many people don’t know this. Drink warm milk. It contains an enzyme called tryptophan that can help to induce sleep. It is also found in poultry, particularly turkey – which is the main reason that people get sleepy after having “Thanksgiving” dinner. an artificial tryptophan was sold at one time (and may still be) in health food stores to be used as a sleep aid. So, a glass of warm milk or a turkey sandwich should lull you gently to sleep. Good Luck.
Adorable: calling your spouse Ima or Tatty often just becomes a habit. When Ima tells one of the children to call their father for dinner, she will say “tell Tatty to come to the table” not “tell Charles to come to the table”. After awhile, its habitual, although it does sound strange outside of the house at an adults only function. Hopefully people remember to use their spouses actual names at such times.
I think there should be a thread to be used exclusively by mosherose and the Josephs (how many of him are there?) They can argue with each other and give the rest of us some peace.
I also feel more sad each time that I read about Leiby. I just received the weekly email from my local Chabad and they had a link to the message released by the Kletzkys when they got up from Shivah. How they summoned the inner strength to do this is far beyond me. There were close to 75 comments posted about their message – a good number of them were beautiful messages from Gentiles. One Catholic church has a link to the Kletzkys fundraising on their church’s Facebook page. It makes me realize that there are some wonderful people in this world. However, I think that the press is releasing far too many gory details about the crime (yasher koach to the yeshiva world for not doing this) that can only intensify our feelings of grief. Most of us had never heard of these people prior to this horrific incident, yet we grieve as if he were one of our own. So, even though we all have heavy hearts as we welcome Shabbat, we can draw some measure of pleasure as we realize how this incident has brought together Yidden of all backgrounds. Leiby will live on in the hearts of all of us – he will never be forgotten.
ronsr: And what would happen if you (G-d forbid) had your wallet stolen? Wouldn’t you expect to have to share your (future) spouse’s cards until yours were replaced? If she won’t give you her PIN number, you shall have to settle for an allowance for awhile – just like being a small child again? I suppose that you wouldn’t let her know what your home burglar alarm code was either. I predict a long period of bachlerhood for you.
Oy, I am very teary today – reading everyone’s words. There certainly is a lot of talent here in the CR. I thank you all for your comments on my poem. I don’t what made me write it – the words just came to me and I wept as I typed. I really had never thought about just how lucky I am. Of course, I highly recommend being in a tertiary care teaching facilitie’s OR, if G-d forbid. one is going to have such a cardiac event. It is a long story, but essentially I had a surgeon who had himself convinced that he was Hashem. I told him that I needed surgery and he told me that he would let me know when it was needed. I was right and by the time I got into the OR, I was toxic from having large part of my intestine gangrenous. I was on life support for several days and then one day I woke up and said “what happened to me”? I did not see a white light or anything like that and I don’t remember anything from the day before this happened until about 10 days later. Now I live every day (although I didn’t appreciate this event for several years) being the best that I can and doing as many mitzvot as I possibly can. Finding my shul helped me find my spirituality and my love of all things Jewish. Thanks for listening and I wish all of you a peaceful and joyous Shabbat. Oops – I am crying all over again.
I must tell you that my shul just got an AED and B’H’ it will never be used. I had asking for at least 2 years why they didn’t have one and the answers that I was given had never made sense to me (I was an RN). I have never attended a Shabbat service or a function at the shul where there wasn’t at least one doctor there. Granted, at the daily minyan there isn’t always one present but many of the staff members are certified in CPR and, now in the use of the AED. These machines definitely can save lives. I hope that you reach your goal quickly – it would be wonderful to have it in place somewhere before the Yomtovim.
Sender Av – What time should I be there tonight?
Mod 80: give my poor little brain a break. PLEASE post the answer.
I am grateful that I was able to sponsor a kiddush at my shul this morning to celebrate TEN years since I had a cardiac arrest. It was a celebration of life and the entire minyan stayed to celebrate with me – usually someone is in a rush and leaves right after the service, but not today.
“it makes me so nervous when a husband calls his wife “ma/ima”
It certainly beats the custom that many Gentiles use – calling their wives “the missus” or “the old lady”. Makes me grit my teeth.
Wolf: I feel the same way as you do. When I first began attending my shul (I wasn’t yet a member) to say kaddish for my mother, I never stayed for kiddush after Shabbat services. I only attended there for 3 weeks when I knew this shul was my new “home”. As soon as I joined, I felt comfortable attending the kiddush. However, I have been told by many that I was silly, because any Jew is welcome at any shul and if they are hungry, they should eat. I know this is true and many times when I see an unfamiliar face on a Saturday morning, I make a point of inviting them to stay and eat. However, I still know exactly how you feel. At that time, I somehow felt like I was being a schnorer even though, I have seen big time schnorring at my shul and at others. I still can’t figure out why people think they are entitled to take home “care” packages from someone else’s simcha – but that is a whole other topic.
MDG: You are trying AND you are helping with the parenting and the household tasks. This is completely different than the situation presented in the OP. There are many families today where the wife is the sole breadwinner and the husband runs the home and there is absolutely nothing wrong with it if it works for that particular family. But, when the husband is a slug and does nothing, well then, that is a horse of a different color.
My SIL always called me by my first name until the kids were old enough to call me Bubbie. Since then, he has always called me Bubbie as well. I love it.
I’m making a kiddush tomorrow in shul
I want you all to know why.
Ten year ago, this very day
I tried very hard to die.
My heart it was stopped for six minutes or more
The doctors did their very best
And because I am typing this message to you
I guess that you know the rest.
Hashem took me gently by the hand
And told me it wasn’t my time
And He brought me back to finish my life
And now my life is sublime.
So tomorrow will be a celebration
After we read the Torah
I didn’t make the kiddush today
I didn’t want to make an ayin hora.
So tomorrow after you daven
Please have a l’chayim for me
Because miracles really do happen
I know – it happened to me.
Oy, Bagel Boy – you gave me laugh for today.
Blabla – your talent and maturity astound me. I am in awe of the amazing words you are able to put together to bring such profound messages. I know that you will soon be healthy and using your talents to achieve even more success. I predict some type of journalistic career for you – I could even envision you as professor of English literature. You will achieve great things as you are a great person with a wonderful soul.
The Chabad calendar that I was talking about comes free in the local Jewish weekly newspaper. I think they have extras at the Chabad Centre. The calendar ususally comes in the issue closest to Rosh Hashanah or between RH and Yom Kippur, so I think if you go to your local Chabad around that time you should be able to get one.
antidisestablishmentarianism and of course………..
supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!!!!
(BTW – while I like the word smorgasbord, I don’t like eating at smorgasbords. I have always said that a smorg is large quantities of mediocre food)
Mosherose: some of my best chicken recipes were adapted from recipes for pork. I read all sorts of recipes and you can make a lot of sauces and toppings originally intended for pork and use them on chicken and beef. Your reasoning has no validity.
Do a Google search for “learn yiddish vidlit”.
There is a beginner video there.
Thanks. Dr.P. That certainly was my laugh for today. Kind of reminds of when my daughter was in kindergarten. At that time there were 2 day schools here – one was Hebrew, the other was Yiddish. While I knew that I wanted her educated at the Hebrew school, I chose to send her to the Yiddish school for kindergarten as their teacher was far superior. I knew that we were in for an interesting year when I took her to the public library and she saw a school friend there and from across the room she yelled: Mashelah how are you? Then came the day that I was the “Shabbas Mother” which meant that I had to bring a challah and could sit and watch the class for a couple of hours. They were learning “arithmetic readiness” in Yiddish. The teacher had a felt board with cutouts of ducks on it. She took one and placed it beside another with the narration: “ein katchke v’ein katchke is tzvel katchkelech.” It still makes me laugh as I came from a Hebrew speaking background and to see a youngster speaking Yiddish struck me as odd. The sad part is that eventually the 2 schools had to amalgamate and eventually the Yiddish program was phased out.
MiddlePath: Do you also do windows? If so, then I am inviting you to my place. I shall hand you a broom and a dustrag as you are walking in. I do provide meals, but you shall be held captive until the place is shipshape and sparkling clean.
What if the husband marries in between, but not the wife. Can they still remarry?
Health, the pill form contains synthetic THC manufactured by the pharmaceutical company and, I believe that it is not as efficacious as the genuine thing. (I don’t mean that it is my belief, it is what the studies have shown).
bombmaniac: You should never take pills dry. Depending on the medication, you may develop a small ulceration somewhere in the esophagus. If you took them with a small sip of water in the morning, then you might as well take each dose with a small sip of water. If you won’t permit yourself to have water, check with your doctor about skipping the entire day’s dose.
blabla: You said:”I feel a lot of pressure from shidduchim, personally.”
Have you had a heart to heart with your parents? You shouldn’t even be thinking about shidduchim and marriage until you are much better. I don’t know how old you are but it sounds like you are probably in your late teens. You don’t have to worry about being “left behind” for several years yet. Your health is far more important at this point. After some therapy you may even find that one of the reasons for the ed is because deep down you don’t feel ready for marriage but cannot verbalize this. Believe me, there is no rush. Get yourself healthy and happy and then – an only then – start thinking about marriage.
It is too bad that there isn’t an “IM” feature here, or alternatively, a thread where 2 people can request each other’s email addresses. If 2 people agree, there shouldn’t be a problem and a Mod could process the request.
Where I live, Chabad gives away just the calendar that you are looking for. I am quite sure that Chabad must give them away in a lot of places. The calendar even has big enough squares to write appointment reminders on and has a hole to hang it on a hook. I have had many Jewish calendars, but I always go back to the Chabad one. Oh, it is printed on matte finished paper so it is easy to write on and has no glare.
bpt – sounds like a delightful combination.