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That’s what you get for not keeping your mouth shut during laining.
Never heard of anyone making on Yom Kippur night.
Are out of towners welcome? The camp is owned by Chicago Aguda, and is located in Southwest Indiana! The closest city is Indianapolis. Second is South Bend. Third is St. Louis. Fourth is Chicago. The director was a rebbetzin in South Bend for more than 20 years, who only recently relocated to Lakewood. That’s pretty much out of town in my book!
I have sent three daughters there for multiple years. They absolutely love every minute of it! Although if you’re first applying now, it is likely to be a waste of time.
I think the theme of many of the responses is two things: One, does everything our ‘outdated’ Chazal (chas veshalom) determined for us still hold true even in the 21st Century. Second, if we don’t understand something our Gedolim (of past and present) institute, are we obligated to accept it.
There are many sources for reasons to drink on Purim, and even to get as drunk as some may consider to be ‘gross’.
Please, please people. Is there really anyone who thinks that Popa was recommending molestation of anyones children, even of a moser?
Let me endeavor to explain the humor to those who are so offended (at least to the best of my understanding). He was not making fun of molestation. He was making fun of those who consider mesirah the worst aveira known to mankind. He then thought up a punishment that other segments of the CR think is the worst thing in the world. (He might actually be pretty close to the truth there.) He made the association between those two extremes in a single post. Voila! The humor inherent in associating two things that don’t connect in your natural thought process.
HE’S ON YOUR TEAM!! He believes child molestation is horrible! He’s making fun of the Mesirah-is-almost-as-bad crowd!!
When dealing with non frum relatives, you must have boundaries. But you must know that wherever you draw those lines, there will be pressure against them. They will never be happy with them. So you might as well draw those lines where you are comfortable. No sense both of you being miserable about it.
I think kids can handle that grandma and grandpa don’t keep Shabbos. That is common enough (nebach) nowadays. But the dei’os kozvos, the wrong ideas coming out of their mouths, might sink into their heads softly, after hearing it enough times. They’ll go on and begin to wonder themselves later on. As Goebbals, ym’s, said many times, repeat a lie often anough, and they’ll start to believe it.
His screen name here is wolfishmusings. You should be able to find it from that.
I know its not from Dr. Middos. But one of my favorites is when Mayor Figallely La Gardenhose says, “And that’s a campaign promise!”
Well I can assure you that I am not misrepresenting anything here! I am most definitely a Midwesterner!! Both geographically and professionally.
V’hameivin yavin!
So Popa, it turns out that I was right! Thanx for getting me a haskama from the choshuve economist!!
Few and far between is politically correct for nonexistent.
A while back there was a thread about oldest posters. On of the Mods said that the oldest poster/first one to sign up was . . . Joseph!!
You’re buying the right to actually dream until Friday night (till Motzoei Shabbos until you can find a way to check the numbers b’hetter).
Insurance policies work by one taking a small hefsed now (premiums) to prevent a big hefsed later. Lottery is taking a small hefsed now for a potential revach later. One is attempting to remain a muchzak in what you have. The other is an attempt at an increase.
Also the risk in insurance policies is based on actuarial tables to be realistic. One calculates what the aggregate risk in all of his potential customers and sets the rate at what is theortically a couple of points more than what he expects to pay out. Risks are calculated by the customers in a similar way (albeit without consulting actuaries) and they elect to buy the policies, or not. The odds of winning the lottery are off of any actuarial table. No one invests based on any EV having any realistic values. Your purchasing a dream, that’s it.
My 5th was in December!
Amar R’ Pinchas, kol hanoderes al daas baalah hi noderes.
No.
There was a thread that bothered me very much earlier this week. I sent an email complaint to a friend. Voila, it disappeared! Not just closed, but gone! I explained my reasons for concern, he sent it to someone connected, and that was that.
I would suggest that if you give a coherent and reasonable explanation, they will listen. Not just “I think this thread should be closed!”
Midwesterner lives in the snow belt. (Not complaining about 82 degrees in March today, though!) Midwesterner has no interest in going to look for MORE snow!!
To borrow a line from the political world: Please don’t make the perfect an enemy of the good.
Actually, at just west of whatever place it is that you recognize the international date line to be, when it bain hashmashos there on Shabbos afternoon, it is Bain Hashmashos on Friday just east of there, and during Shabbos gufa everywhere else.
Think first: I’ve had regular laining jobs since I was 16, and now I’m a grandfather. So its been a few years. My reputation is such (I like to convince myself, that is) that people who daven at my regular place wouldn’t dare correct me like that. So I’m not used to someone who has the aliya even trying to chap something.
This fellow was a guest. Every year or so he comes to town and tells me how much he admires my laining. He then waits to pounce on me at the first opportunity.
The rest of them are what they are. But oomis, you’re a veteran of the coffee room. Don’t you know Popa yet?
I must admit though, as familiar as I am with a very large body of the work of the Holy R’ Shlomo, I don’t get the reference.
Along that theme, we’ll see if this makes it past the censors.
There was once this couple who owned a grocery store. The wife was a powerful personality, and the husband was very dominated. If he disappointed her in any way, she’d pull out a paddle and give him a whack.
One day, she left him in charge of the grocery store. Came time to daven mincha, and he was late. He ran out of the store without locking the door, figured it was safe. How long does mincha take anyway?
He came back 12 minutes later, and found the place cleaned out. He went home and told his wife the bad news. She blew a gasket, and really gave it to him with the paddle.
At that beating, he decided he’d had enough, and demanded a divorce. So they went to the rav. After hearing the 2 sides of the dispute, the rav said, “This is the first time a couple came to me where SHE said ‘Pesach Pasuach Matzasi’ and HE tayna’d ‘Mukas Eitz!'”
There are 8 cities listed in the gemara at the end of Arachin. Daf Yomi about 2-3 weeks ago.
If you get receycled from Yitay, its probably OK. His friends probably use hashgachos. But if its stuff that he bought and prepared, you have to be concerned that he just read the ingredients and paskened on his own what’s kosher, per the psak of his rav.
Wolf: Come visit us in Chicago! We may hit 60 tomorrow!!
And another American Mishugas is the amount of people who learn Torah. In Europe, the men knew a little bit of Ein Yaakov, and the women some Tzena Urena. Why do so many people send so much time learning? They should work more, because thats what they’re meshabed themselves to do in the kesuba!
The growing number of shomrei shabbos is getting totally out of hand. IN Europe, due to haskala and economic difficulty, the number of Shomrei Shabbos was declining. Why are we reversing that trend? American meshugassen!!
Syag, that is very interesting! I had never heard that! I would be curious who it was that introduced them to the Steipler? Because that would’ve been quite a while ago! I don’t know exactly how old you are, or where you fit in in relation to your siblings, but it should be close to 50 years ago!
Perhaps he’s in a Starbucks someplace.
POpa has been all over the place.
There was never a president named Sam Harrison. William Henry Harrison and Benjamin Harrison, yes. But Sam? Nope.
Well informed: The amount of the gezel may be higher, but that does not necessarily make the maase gezel gamur. First of all it is not being motzi mamon from anyone. It is only minui revach. And second, There is no maase gezeila, as in vayigzol es hechanis miyad hamitzri.
NOT CHAS VESHALOM saying that its muttar. The poskim have already ruled, and I do not consider myself a mechutzef enough to argue. But you said that what our people do is worse. I say that is debatable.
Well just in my list above, there are Bobov, Satmar, and Skver have 2 rebbes each, and Vizhnitz has 3. And there aren’t any Lubavitcher Rebbes today, and Dovid Hamelech’s list has 5 Chabads.
You just ask. If the mods are in a creative mood, they may give you something nice. I wonder what I would get if I asked?
Frankfurt and Kamenetz as Chssidic Rebbes?
Belz, Bobov, Satmar, Stolin, Ger, Munkacz, Skver, Vizhnitz, comprise 90% of today’s chassidim, and they’re not there.
What kind of joke is this list?
You are thanking Hashem that he gave you a job with a 13 year limit, and you successfully completed the responsibility.
I thought Bender was from Far Rockaway! (That’s about as far as I had patience to read.)
I can tell you that Syag and her husband are wonderful people doing a great job in raising a family. But the source of truly caring for others comes from her mother, o’h. She laid the foundations for one of this countries greatest chesed organizations, without any fanfare whatsoever. Surely the greatest out of town organization.
50 tomorrow!! Yes!!
You have the right to feel however you feel. Just as he has the right to do what he wishes where there is no law against it.
“Most can.”
That is where NASI is the MOST WRONG of everything that it does.
This is a serious problem. I thik that we should move all siddur and chumash parties, as well as nursery and kindergarten graduations, to 8:30 PM. That way all of our 4 and 5 year olds will learn the virtues of late night study.
We should train them at a very young age to not go to sleep on time. That way, by the time they get to yeshiva gedola, they will be ready to stay up learning till the wee hours of the morning, and then sleep through shacharis and half of morning seder. Perhaps we should provide them with cigarettes and beer. That will make them truly prepared for the full late Thursday night experience.
Syag? I think its time to put that check in the mail!
As a Midwesterner, I can say with relative confidence, that there are no coffeeroom members in Kalamazoo. Having been through there many times on the way between Chicago and Detroit, and its proximity to South Haven, MI, home of Camp Aguda Midwest, I can say that there is not a single member of The Yeshiva World there. (Unless you count a teeny Chabad House on the campus of Western Michigan. Somehow this question doeas not appear to come from a shaliach.)
Where’s the snow? It’s right outside my stooopid window!! 4-8 inches piling up on Erev Shabbos yet! And we’re supposed to walk to my daughter for the seuda tonight, almost a mile away!
Maybe he can give first hand reports on the hafganot!
This is Midwesterner’s wife (maybe one day I’ll figure out how to create my own file here 🙂 )
When my oldest daughter was dating, a friend gave me great advice. Do the work yourself. Get names of boys from various sources and track them down, get people to red your child to them. Find connections to those boys. It used to be that girls waited for the boys to find them. I have found that nowadays, there are plenty of girls’ mothers who are doing their research about the boys and once they find the boy, it’s easier to convince a shadchan to red it, since you did half the homework for them.
A rebbetzin once told my friend who had an older daughter, that she should make some concrete hishtadlus every week. She should make a phone call to a shadchan, to a friend in a city with a yeshiva, a relative who is a rebbe in another yeshiva… There are always connections to be made, you just have to be creative.
Certainly daven and find zechusim. Another friend organized a machsom lifi for single girls with hope it would be a zechus for her daughter as well. When you do mitzvohs, say it should be a zechus for your daughter.
Yet another friend had a daughter who married older. When her children would get into an argument, she would ask them to be mevater and say that keeping quiet creates an eis ratzon and that they should use it to ask Hashem for their sister to find her zivug.
In other words, short of investing in the Nasi program(especially if you can’t afford it) do your own homework both spiritually and physically.
and physically doesn’t only mean paying a fancy shadchan. Although I found my way very taxing, I felt at least I was involved in the process.
The more homework you do about boys, the more you get a feel of who is out there.
You can also have your daughter and her friends look out for each other. How many shidduchim have been made when a girl didn’t think a boy on a date was her type, but she red the boy afterward to her friend and they got engaged?
It has been said that most shadchanim come from friends and family. In my family, my parents made shidduchim for their nieces and our aunts and uncles made ours. A lady I know has her second daughter engaged quite young k’ah. She told me her first son in law made the shidduch for her second daughter!
I think that my ax grinding is very clear. I think that given the financial hardships that most of our families are undergoing, if someone creates a program that extorts exorbitant sums of money from families, through playing with the hearts of young girls who are likely to be petrified by the over the top advertising, (10% of the girls graduating Bais Yaakov will NEVER get married! remember that one?) they had better have some serious Daas Torah.
The Shalom Bayis issues that you’re going to cause by causing people to stress out to an unprecedented level just to get on a list would be enough to scare me out of initiating such a project.
I think also that by your over emphasizing shidduchim being red to older girls, and forbidding people from redding shidduchim to younger girls, means than in short order, EVERY SINGLE girl will be an older girl. That will in effect quadruple shadchan fees for everyone. Not just the unfortunate few that hit their 22nd birthday while still single. You can’t redd a shidduch until the girls is 20. And at 22 the fee quadruples. Actually it quintupled, until the game changing program changed its game three weeks later.
If the problem is not enough boys for the girls, how does exponentially increasing the fee schedule answer that problem?
If someone raises a foolish (at best) solution to a problem, and there are strong reasons to believe that it is the incorrect solution, should we just roll over and accept it, because they creators of the solution care a lot, and because I don’t have an alternative? If it’s wrong, then it’s wrong.
And finally, I think that a large reason for the shidduch crisis can be found in a very short famous six word line in the gemara.
“Tav l’meisav tan du, milemeisav armelu.” There are loads of single boys out there. Go visit the Irv, and you’ll find them by the dozens, even the hundreds. They are not bothered by being single nearly as much as the girls are. It is very sad for them, but it is the teva that Hashem put in the briah. Boys can handle being single more than girls can. Since the girls are more desperate than the boys, there is a crisis for them. You can fiddle with the numbers, move the incentives here or there, but the teva habriah remains the same.
Boys have always been getting married older than girls. There are reasons for this that are also built into teva habriah.
I have no doubt that Rabbi Pogrow’s intentions are 100% lishmah. He is a man of impeccable integrity. But there is a goyishe expression that talks about the material used to pave a certain path. I chas veshalom don’t wish that upon him or any of the NASI operatives who are surely all acting with the best intentions. But to decide centrally and organizationally how to run the economy was the path of Karl Marx and Vladimir Lenin. It is doomed to fail, but not just on itself, but while taking down who knows how many along with it.
Lo almon Yisroel. If Hashem created the world, Mahn d’yahiv chayei, yahiv mezonei. And I firmly believe that yahiv shiduchei as well. You want to make hishtadlus to help what you perceive to be a deficiency in the system, you’re entitled to do that. But please don’t inflict undue economic hardship on an already overtaxed parent body of Bnos Yisroel because of your dreams.
And the final piece of my ax is that I am a father of 6 daughters, 5 of whom are still single (only one is already of age to be in the parsha). Where is all the extra money gonna come from? I firmly believe that Hashem will provide. He has until now, halevai vaiter. The original game changing kole koreh back a few months ago said that if we don’t act then we will be responsible. I say that if you do act, then you will be responsible for the financial hardships you are inflicting on us all.
Oy oy, how many are gone is just a 2 short years!! R Nosson Tzvi, R Chaim, maybe one or two others!!
So bottom line is that we have 70 gedolim signing on some generic letter saying we’ve got to take care of our daughters. People should not feel stigmatized by going out with someone close in age. Shadchanim should work for older girls and not just take the easy route with the 19 year olds.
This has absolutely nothing to do with the new game changing initiative, or whatever they’re calling it this week. That is something cooked up by some individuals and an auditing firm, and after 3 months, has the haskama of 2 of the unrelated 70, and 7 other shul rabbanim. Quadrupling and more of shadchanus fees, plus demanding that it be paid up front to even get your name on the list, does NOT have the blessing of Gedolei Yisroel!! Any comment by AZ or anyone else insinuating that it does is false.
That is the position as stated in Nasi’s unofficial press releases through the coffeeroom and their designated commenter here. Please everyone wait three weeks, and the uproar will cause a further update in Nasi’s unofficial positions to be once again released in a press release to the CR.