Thanks, OneOfMany and Goq.

Hi guys, I’ve decided to come back for now. I’m so sorry for just picking up and leaving, it was very rude of me. I’m going to try to develop a more positive experience here.

SaysMe, I’m so sorry for what you have been going through with your friend. But as others have said, when one support system leaves, another comes and replaces it, sometimes even stronger than before. We may have to look and put in effort to find that support, but when we do find it, it is well worth the effort. And know that you are never alone. It is wonderful that you play piano to calm yourself down and express your emotions. I do the same with guitar. It is a great thing. But yes, aside from that, writing is a terrific way to express yourself, and thankfully, there is a solid group of wonderful people here just waiting to help and give encouragement, as I’ve seen from scrolling through the posts in the past week. Stay strong, and keep writing and playing piano!

Syag and kapusta, thanks so much for keeping this thread going lately, you are both amazing. Keep it up!

Think first, thanks for your message on the parsha, it is very inspiring!

yentingyenta, that is a beautiful poem! I’m sure your friends greatly appreciated it.

blabla, PE, observanteen, hope you are all doing alright.

Goq, I’m sorry I’ve been away, and I appreciate you noticing it. I don’t think I’m going to be part of this forum for a while. Many of the nicest, most wonderful posters here have left, leaving this place quite dreary and shallow. And I always felt that I put much more into this forum than what I got back from it. Honestly, this place is nothing like the way it was a few months ago. Perhaps I’ll be back when some of the others return, or when the atmosphere here gets better. Good-bye for now, and good luck with everything.

blabla, that is great! And let me just say, that you already do amaze. The fact that you can come here and write so beautifully, with so much emotion and color, is an amazing thing. Keep it up, and you will definitely survive this phase! And I like the hopeful twist at the end. Wishing you a wonderful shabbos.

I’m with QB.

mordern, to answer your original question- I’m not sure what you are referring to when you say “the Frum community”, but many of my friends play games, and I’m quite a gamer, myself. I cannot answer if it is considered “normal” for a kollel guy to play games, but I would assume that most don’t.

blabla, I’m sorry I’ve been away for a bit. I just wanted to talk about your new poems. First, I am so sorry about how much you’ve been suffering. It is clear in your poems that you have so much on your plate right now, and just the fact that you are still able to come here and relate it to us through your beautiful poetry is an amazing thing. I know I’ve said this before, but I really think it would be good to try to write down every day something good that has happened that day. It can really help show how good things also happen, not just bad. And please don’t think that you don’t know how to write! You are definitely one of the most talented poets I’ve come across, and you convey your feelings and emotions so well that I can feel the pain you are going through. Please know that we care about you here, and will always give you encouragement. Again, I’m sorry I’ve been away for so long.

And I like Think first’s idea. It would help give a positive spin on your writings, and may also help you discern what it is exactly that you feel you need most, and may help give us all a better understanding of how to offer you support and encouragement.

SaysMe, your kind and encouraging words to blabla are very inspiring. Keep it up! And I’d love to see new material from you!

Kapusta, I agree with everyone, you are definitely an extremely nice and thoughtful person. Keep doing what you do!

Always, I just read your post, and I am so sorry to hear about what you are going through. At the same time, it is very comforting to see so many posters here offering you help, encouragement, and comfort. Know that we all care greatly about you and may whatever course of action you decide to take bring you and your children much peace, happiness, and safety.

borte- Thanks! Industrial/ Product Design.

moredDow, why do you consider that “settling”? I’d think it would be better to marry someone that has also been through a lot and then straightened out, because she would probably understand you more and appreciate everything about you more than someone who has never been “around the block”. There are exceptions, but logically, someone that has been through similar things to yourself would generally be more understanding of what you’ve been through, and therefore, would possibly make for a better spouse than someone who is unfamiliar with things you’ve overcome. So, that’s not settling; That’s getting what may be best for you.

blabla, hope you are okay tonight!

puppy, your poem is so well written, yet so sad. I find it remarkable that one of the features of this girl is having a big smile, even while going through everything you’ve written about after that. Assuming that this girl you are talking about is you, I am even more amazed that you can keep smiling even with all the suffering you’ve been through. It is almost unbearable that a girl can have no support from friends, siblings, or parents. A person always needs some support from somewhere.

Day by day, I am sorry for the pain your friend is going through. But just know that it is easier to deal with pain when you have someone with you, caring about you, carrying some of the burden, and easing your pain. It would seem that at a time like this, your friend needs you the most. You show your own pain in your poem, it is clear that you feel your friend’s pain. Make sure your friend knows how much you care for her/him. That itself can ease the pain.

SaysMe, it is very hurtful when we must deal with people that stubbornly refuse to see our point of view. I am sorry that you are dealing with this. It is very difficult for these types of people to change, because once they are in a state of mind of not listening to others’ opinions, they refuse to change their attitude for that same reason. I think it would be really good for you to find someone else who will listen to you, care about what you say, and is able to make decisions with you that will have the best impact on your future, because this person you refer to in your poem seems to be holding you down. Wishing you much success!

blaba, I’m really sorry about your night last night. I feel really bad that no one here was able to help immediately. Although this forum doesn’t really update the newer posts till the morning, so I don’t think anyone saw your posts till this morning. But I hope my post now helps in some way, and please forgive me for not posting last night when you needed it.

It is really depressing to hear about your feelings about school, and how much pain you go through every day when the day starts. I don’t know what I can say to help with your views about school, but I will say this. It might be really good for you to make sure that you have something that you look forward to every day, and try to make that the focus of your day. Whether it’s doing something you enjoy, talking to someone who respects you and cares for you, going to a place you feel happy, or anything else that is a good experience. If you have something like that every day, and make that the focus of your day, it can help with your general mood and lift your spirits.

Another thing is to write down at the end of the day something good that happened that day, and try to focus you feelings on that. That can help with coping with the negative things, because it may help you look for the good things that happen instead of being tied down to the negative. I hope this helps!

SilentOne, wow. I am so sorry for the suffering you have been going through because of your ex-wife. I have tears in my eyes. You are an unbelievable person with superhuman strength to be able to keep living, and to be able to use your situation to better understand what agunos go through. You are such a special person.

May G-d help you with everything you are going through, may He listen to your prayers, and may He give you the strength to move ahead in life with only happiness and success.

May you all have a relaxing, enjoyable shabbos.

Thanks, day by day! I’m so happy I was able to make a difference!

To the people here who have let this topic turn into an immature fight full of insults and accusations:

Please stop.

And I include myself in that, too. I posted a comment here, and if it added fuel to the fire, I am ashamed of it, and I regret it.

The problem is, people that are used to insulting others as a way to “defend” their opinion will NEVER look at themselves and see a problem, and CERTAINLY not if the problem is mentioned by another person. So they’ll just ignore this plea to stop, too. Oh well. I guess I’m wasting my time.

Hi, day by day! Welcome!

Your poem is well written, and I can relate to it myself, but on a different scale: I felt this way with my friends, neighbors, and community at large. It is very hard when you go by unnoticed. But perhaps we can look at it in another way: G-d does things in a hidden way. Many things happen that seem so natural and explainable, that it seems G-d isn’t in them, but really He is. So if you are doing your best, and you feel you aren’t getting noticed or appreciated, though it may be hard, you are truly emulating G-d, and He is smiling down at you. And that is an amazing thing. Of course, it is nice to get noticed and appreciated for our efforts. But that shouldn’t be our driving force.

And many times, people that get all the attention, and the care, and live in the limelight, won’t know how to live when it is suddenly taken away from them.

Think first, what a beautiful poem. It really gives the right perspective of the potential problems or issues that may come during marriage. If we can deal with these problem the right way, together with our spouse, we can come to love them and appreciate them even more. May G-d send you your mate at the right time.

yentingyenta, I completely agree, this thread is the most moving, uplifting, and inspiring thread thread in the CR, whether the poems rhyme or not. What matters is the heart of the person writing the poem.

SaysMe, that’s really beautiful. A great way to look at the final flame of the final night of Chanukah. May that flame continue to burn inside our souls for the rest of the year, keeping us warm, strong, and full of faith, so that we can overcome any challenge that we may encounter over the rest of the year.

blaba, I’m so sorry about how you feel about the way you were raised by your parents. It is especially hard to go through life when you don’t feel loved or appreciated by the people who are supposed to be closest to you. Your message rings true. Parents must cherish their children, and always show them love, care, and support.

It really saddens me that different types of Jews cannot get along. There is a difference between acceptance and tolerance. One doesn’t have to accept the ways of another group of Jews, but one should be able to tolerate it without getting violent.

You NEVER EVER should scream or spit at another Jew that you don’t know, no matter how they are dressed. There is no justification at all to do that. You may not have to accept the Jews that don’t dress according to your standards (although you really should), but you MUST be able to tolerate it and live peacefully with each other. Otherwise, we are in for a very long exile.

Screaming at others is simply a lack of good middos. And if you keep all of “halachah”, and know Shas by heart, but lack good middos, it is worth NOTHING. Absolutely NOTHING.