Ah, yes, I see your point now. Structure and guidelines are what transform us from indecisive, unproductive people who wander around looking for meaning without any clear destination in mind, into people that are productive, contributory, and focused. I very much agree. And yes, there is no better set of guidelines and no better “book” of meaning than G-d’s Torah.

If you think about it, it really makes sense why Jews are seemingly always at the top of their fields and industries. Because we grow up with guidelines, with structure, and are focused on intellect, on meaning, and on purpose. We are infused with a focus on productivity. Very few other nations in our day and age can say that. Our society itself embraces laziness and values shallowness, and children that grow up with such a mindset have little hope of becoming people with real meaning or purpose.

What I was saying in my first post was really a step AFTER the foundation. Once we have absorbed the importance of structure and guidelines, and are focused on meaning and purpose, we can then look toward expanding on that by finding our potential. You can’t compose a song without first finding the root note on which to make it, and you can’t reach toward your full potential without first internalizing the basic structure and guidelines that shape the foundation on which you build. Without that foundation, your full potential is out of reach, and you will only be circling around underneath it, trying to find it.

Think first, wow, what a poem, and what an amazingly positive attitude you have! This should give encouragement to all those unfortunately out of work. May you continue inspiring us, and may things only go well for you.

SaysMe, I’m sorry that other things have gotten worse, but I’m glad you spoke to your friend and are doing better with that. Thank you for keeping us updated on things. Keep your focus on the good things, and hopefully everything else will turn around for the better.

I am sorry that’s all I can post at this point, I am exhausted from school work, and can’t really focus so much right now.

Thank you for sharing that with us, BaalHabooze. AYC wrote it so beautifully, and with such obvious emotion.

soliek, you’re right, but it goes both ways. With the ever-increasing ease of putting out music, unknown artists, that HAVE talent, can get noticed more easily, when they couldn’t have in earlier decades. So while there may be more “garbage” (for lack of a better word), there’s the same amount of undiscovered musical talent. You just have to look for it.

Also, in my opinion, being a famous musical artist/ singer does NOT necessarily mean you are a great and talented artist/singer. Look at the pop music industry right now. The vast majority of them, IMO, have very little talent, and are only famous for other reasons, whereas most classical/jazz artists are unknown, yet possess an incredible amount of talent.

ZK, I commend you for your obvious passion in your opinion on the matter, but I must say, since I’m one of the people here who have said “I understand her”, that it with a lack of familiarity that you have called us out on that. I said that I understand her because I easily could have turned out like her. I grew up in a very difficult situation, and truly needed support and help from my community and community leaders, and got none. The only real role model I had was my mom. Without her, it would not be a stretch to say that I would have turned out like this woman, and would have had a strong dislike for Judaism. Thankfully, my mother showed me by example how Judaism can be a beautiful religion, and that is what I’ve clung to. As for the other things you have said, I respect you greatly for your passion, but I can NEVER bring myself to hate her, and I won’t. If you do, that’s fine. But as I said in an earlier post, such hate and contempt for her is exactly what caused her to go off in the first place. We can’t know for sure, but it is possible that if even one Rav or respected community member showed her love, and showed her how one can love and be happy in Judaism, she may have been inspired. Calling her names and saying bad things about her, in my opinion, is the wrong way of dealing with this situation.

I agree half-way with oomis. Such an approach will work great for the more responsible, mature young adults, but may not work so well for the others. Also, such an approach would generally work great for the children who grew up in a mixed environment, because they are already used to such a concept and would therefore be able to tell what is right and what is wrong, but will probably not work well for children who grew up in a segregated environment.

I also agree half-way with pretty much the rest of you here, and I’m assuming you are all referring to teenagers who’ve grown up in a segregated environment, and in that case, I agree that it would be very difficult to expect them to maintain “kosher” socializing, because they generally won’t know where to draw the line (because they were never told that a line even exists), and therefore, their “natural” instincts would kick in. Which would cause problems.

Thanks, Logician and WIY. And yes, it is really a wonderful way to start the week.

I’m glad you’re back, Goq! Hope all’s well.

blabla, I feel really bad I didn’t respond last night to your post, I hope you were ok last night! I don’t know much about anxiety, so I can’t really offer advice for that (though I’m sure some people here could), but I just want to say that we are all here for you, and only want the best for you and your well-being. Hope today is a better day.

kapusta, ICOT, PE, observanteen, SaysMe, hope you are all doing okay. I miss you around here.

soliek, a wonderful piece, thanks for sharing.

Yea, where is Goq? We need him.

Feif, while I understand what you are saying, at the same time, I think it is important about how one views things like that. Yes, if you view it as “women are restricted from many things”, then you will only see how such a lifestyle seems to disrespect women. But you can also view it as “women are able to live an elevated lifestyle by distancing themselves from possible misconduct”, which then doesn’t make that lifestyle seem restrictive, rather, it seems holy. With that perspective, women have the opportunity to reach such high levels of holiness, which would, in turn, build respect for them. It is all about the attitude one approaches it with. I may not agree with or adapt for myself such a lifestyle, but I do see how it can be nice for some people.

Unfortunately, the woman in this article saw these things as restrictive, and therefore discarded them. We see this in all groups of Jews though. It is so important to teach and instill a love and appreciation for our laws and customs, and NOT make it seem like we are forced into it, and must abide by these rules or we are horrible people.

I also don’t think it’s right to speak negatively about this woman. Speaking negatively about her won’t help her come back to her roots.

SaysMe, glad you are feeling better. That’s wonderful that you had a good talk with your friend, and it’s great that you see what a special friend she is. Hope things are going alright.

Think first, thanks for sharing, that is very true.

blabla, how are you doing?

Think first, thanks for posting that here, and I completely agree with it. And it can also help with dealing with difficulties, because we will be able to realize that going through these things make us stronger, and as you said, more beautiful people.

SaysMe, how are you feeling?

Life is full of challenges. Without any challenges, there would be no point in living because there wouldn’t be any opportunities for growth. We grow when we are encountered with a challenge, a struggle, a hardship, and we prevail. We can’t possibly know exactly why G-d gives us certain hardships and challenges, but we SHOULD know that they are given to us because G-d knows where we can grow, and gives us opportunities to grow in those areas by presenting us with challenges that have the potential to bring out that growth.

Someone who has an easy life won’t appreciate how far he or she has come. but someone who has gone through difficulties and prevailed, can look back and appreciate that G-d gave those challenges to him or her, and sometimes, may even be able to see why they had to go through what they did.

With this in mind, we should try to look at life’s difficulties and say “Thank you, G-d, for giving me this challenge, and giving me the opportunity to use it to grow, and become a stronger, more fulfilled person.”

ICOT, really nice poem! And a great message. Thanks for posting.

WIY, I appreciate you are looking out for me. But believe me when I say that I use it productively, don’t waste time on it, and it is important that I have it for school purposes, as well as other, productive, reasons. If I really felt that it wasn’t good for me, I would definitely get rid of it. But I do not feel that way about it. I’ve gotten rid of many, many things that I felt weren’t good for me. But Facebook is not one of those things for me. Again, I appreciate that you are looking out me, and I am happy you were able to get out of something you felt wasn’t good for you. Kol hakavod.

I agree with you, Wolf and oomis. I personally have FB and I’d say I use it quite productively. And I definitely do not waste time on it. So, for WIY, he felt it he was wasting his time on it, so getting rid of it was a wonderful thing.

Telepathy or telekinesis. And does turning invisible include the ability to walk through walls, etc.? That might bump it up :).

ZK, take a look at the Poetry thread. If that were the only thread in the whole CR, the CR would be worth it.

“The problem with that line of reasoning is that you are biased, and its nearly impossible to make an unbiased decision for yourself. Secondly, your reasonings may be influenced by non torah concepts.”

That is true, which is why one should never make big decisions without thoroughly taking everything into account from all angles, as well as consult an outside, unbiased source. I was just referring to trivial matters, which one should be able to think out for themselves. And about non torah concepts, of course, if they are ANTI-torah concepts, it would be problematic, but not all concepts and influences of our societies are anti-torah, and that can be seen by anyone that lives in our society. So yes, it is great to have a mentor/ Rabbi as a guide, but not to control your life in every trivial matter.

“AGREED. Which is why we have Chassidish, Litvish, MO, Mizrachi, etc….”

Yes, and no. It is good that we have different types of Jews that one can “fit in” with, but at the same time, many people don’t fit in to these categories according to the stereotypes that people have unfortunately given to them. But once we have these categories, and it is clear that there is no one correct path for everyone, it should ALSO be clear that it is foolish to call out another type of Jew on something that they do, because though you think you are right, you should realize that they are also right, for themselves, and they are reaching their potential in the best way for them.

I haven’t posted here till now because I thought there would be no point in stating my opinions on things since I think most people here would disagree, anyway. But I think it’s good for me to talk them out.

The necessity to conform to a specific system’s superficial ideals in order to be accepted is unfair and ridiculous.

A mentor/Rabbi should not control everything in your life. He is a guide. You should be able to think for yourself when necessary. You know yourself better than anyone. Thinking for yourself should not be discouraged.

There is no one correct path to G-d. Everyone should find their own unique path that will enable them to reach their highest potential.

Parents shouldn’t force their children to take the path that worked for them. Their children may need a totally different path, and each child may need his or her own path.

Don’t force your opinion on others just because you think you are right. Don’t put down or be negative toward another person, group, or sect of Judaism, just because they may do something you don’t like, or you think they are doing something incorrectly.

Don’t treat women like second-class citizens. Don’t treat other types of Jews like second-class citizens. Don’t treat non-Jews like second-class citizens.

There is enough Torah for everyone to find an area that they would enjoy learning. Don’t feel obligated to learn something that you won’t enjoy just because everyone else learns it. It may damage your connection to Torah.

Most yeshivos don’t spend enough time (or any time) teaching students how to be responsible, caring adults. And no, most of them won’t learn these things from sitting in front of a gemarah.

The way the topic of tznius is forced down girls’ throats would make any of them want to completely disregard any of it. Teach it with love. True tznius is how you act, not just how you dress.

There is, and always will be, a struggle in Judaism between keeping our traditions and making necessary changes or adjustments to accommodate and guide the younger generations. This struggle is just part of Judaism, and not everyone will agree upon where to keep tradition and where to make changes. In fact, I’d say that the vast majority of arguments between different types of Jews are in exactly this. There is no one answer for everyone. What works for some will not work for others. Don’t ridicule people you disagree with.

The people who need mussar the most are the ones that refuse to listen to it, and the people who rarely need mussar are the ones that always take it.

It is extremely important for parents and teachers to instill a faith in G-d into their children and students.

Most people don’t know how to reprimand others properly, and should therefore not do it at all, because doing it incorrectly can cause the receivers to leave a Torah way of life.

If you can’t control your anger, then it is completely pointless to argue with anyone in the CR about anything. You won’t get anywhere, and will only cause hatred.

I have many more, but I think this post is long enough.

Welcome back, tahini!

I think it can be a nice thing, but if not used responsibly and maturely, it can be detrimental to their relationship in the real world.

Happy anniversary!

crazybrit, sorry, but Mod-20 is not me.

Syag, your son clearly got his wonderful middos from you. Truly beautiful.