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toomuch, my pleasure! There are really so many valuable middos that Dovid had that we can learn from. Wishing your friend success in the report!
On a side “note”, Dovid Hamelech was quite an accomplished musician!
One example is when he married Batsheva and was rebuked for the what he did (in regard to Batsheva’s previous husband), Dovid immediately admitted his sin without trying to justify anything he did, which he certainly could have. We see how important it is to be able to see flaws in ourselves and be able to say “I’m sorry” or “You are right”, and we should emulate him. It is such a valuable middah.
No, you should have no reason to feel guilty for crying. Everyone is different, and everyone deals with things differently. One person’s hardships can be for another person just inconveniences, while one person’s inconveniences can be another’s hardships. People have different emotional breaking points. So there no reason to feel guilty about it. But, it could be a way to try and help yourself deal with your day to day hardships, by thinking that, thank G-d, you don’t have to deal with worse things. But if certain things for you are very difficult, even if for someone else they may not be, and you manage to get passed them and grow because of them, then you will have managed an incredible achievement. Wishing you all the best!
workinonit, it seems that happiest just started a thread exactly like this! Check it out, there are some really great ideas there!
happiest, I’m also in that situation. I feel lonely a lot, and when I do, that’s when I start feeling down the most. Of course, the best way to get rid of that loneliness is with marriage, but until then, it’s healthy to try and occupy yourself with a lot of other things to keep yourself busy with. I’m in school most of my day, but when I’m not, I try to stay busy with other things. And more recently, posting here with you keeps me occupied, positive, and fulfilled. And I hope you feel the same! Y’know, I have an email address on my music page on Soundcloud, if you want to be in contact more, I wouldn’t mind at all. I think it would benefit me, too. But really, I think you can definitely consider everyone here that has helped you to be your real friends, and consider them a real part of your life. I consider them, and you, part of mine.
bomb, I found your post about “What if I weren’t frum” interesting, so I thought I would give my experience with that and hopefully let PrincessEagle see another viewpoint. When I was in high school, I was suffering greatly from my family and community issues, and tried to find happiness and fulfillment in other “things”. I went through a few girlfriends (both Jewish and not), was part of a Goth scene, among other stuff. (No drugs or alcohol, though.) And while these offered me temporary relief from my issues, and some experience with responsibilities, they didn’t really help with anything important. What DID help was trying to develop a closer relationship to G-d. I feel that G-d understands me, and my issues became less and less of a problem the more I saw G-d in my life. I still sometimes have problems with or don’t agree with certain aspects of Judaism that other people maintain and sometimes try forcing on me, but I feel that my relationship with G-d is so good that I feel responsible and self-assured enough to know what works for me and what doesn’t, and as long as I maintain that connection and keep positive about my goals and ideals in Judaism, and they help me grow closer to G-d, then I truly feel the happiness and fulfillment that I couldn’t find elsewhere.
happiest, I second ayc totally. You are so amazing, sensitive, and kind to even think of starting a thread apologizing for something that you really DON’T need to apologize for, and for just recognizing and showing appreciation for our support and care for you. I feel that I should also be thanking everyone here from the bottom of my heart for offering me care and support during trying times. Amen to all your brachos, and may this year bring you peace, tranquility, complete happiness, health, and everything G-d can give you for your benefit.
I have no source for what I’m about to say, but I think it makes sense. Sometimes, when we do a mitzvah or when we are on are way to do a mitzvah, G-d throws us a curveball, and makes doing the miztvah much more difficult. Perhaps, it’s because He wants to give us more reward for it. That once He sees we are doing a mitzvah, He throws in a few more opportunities (that we sometimes see as obstacles) to get even more mitzvos. Or, it’s because it is a mitzvah that we would do anyway, even if G-d had not commanded it, because it’s a nice thing to do (like giving tzedaka), so G-d wants to see if we are doing it just because it’s nice to do, or because we love G-d, and G-d commanded us to do it, and no matter what obstacle we may face in our way of doing this mitzvah, we will do it anyway to show our loyalty to Him.
Regardless, though, I am sorry you went through all this trouble when trying to do a mitzvah, and I can see how much of a let down it can be. You are doing an amazing thing by giving tzedaka even without having that much money. Stay strong, and may you always have the ability to give tzedaka with a smile!
blaba, you’re right, they should be more sensitive..But it really would help them BECOME more sensitive if they knew even a little of what you are going through. When I was in High School, I had a teacher go around the room asking everyone what their father does and going into detail about him. When it came my turn, I quickly left the room and didn’t return for a while. (If your’e confused about this, read the “life as the son of a child molester” thread). I was angry at my teacher for being so insensitive. But really, how can I blame him? He didn’t know what my father was. After I told him privately, he was much more careful about what he said.
And try not to worry about shidduchim. I used to worry about it, because I thought I would never get a shidduch, but if you are the best person you can be, and realize that you have the potential to rise above and become greater from these challenges, you’ll have no problem with a shidduch, and life itself will be much better overall. I know it’s easy for me to say this, since I’m not in your shoes, but perhaps this can help a little.
blaba, I can’t even imagine how much you’ve been suffering. It must be so difficult with no one in school knowing what your’e going through. I think ayc has a good point. Do you think it would be possible for you to fill your teacher in on some details just so she knows not to blame you or pick on you? Even a little talk may help a lot. Wishing you all the best, health, and happiness this school year!
ICOT hit it right on. Posting personal stories can help give support to others in similar situations, as well as let those posting the stories receive support from those who read it.
There’s a big difference between not looking presentable and not wearing heels. I’m sure she cares about how she looks. There could be a million reasons why she didn’t wear heels. Look at the positive. If everything else about her is great, then it would be incredibly foolish to say no right now. Honestly, if I said no to a girl because she didn’t wear heels on a date, I think I would die of disgust at myself.
But I really hope this thread is a joke. Usually, I don’t get so upset about joking threads, or I at least try to hold it in. But for this thread, you went too far. So if you are joking, I think you need to apologize to all single girls out there who want to get married and deserve to get married who are being ridiculed by your ridiculous statements. And if you are being serious, then I think you need to really work on yourself before you decide to go out on another date.
I was actually just going to say that perhaps you can learn an instrument. I see aries beat me to it. It really does help with the kind of situation you are in. I was, and still am, in your situation somewhat and learning and playing an instrument has helped me so much, I don’t know what I would have done without it. And, if that doesn’t look appealing to you, any of aries’ other suggestions are great, too. Princess Eagle’s are terrific as well.
But definitely try something. From personal experience, it is not healthy for a teenager to not have anything constructive to do. Hope you find something soon!
Thanks for letting us know, happiest. I was thinking of you over shabbos.
ICOT, adorable is engaged!
supergirl613, that’s wonderful!
“So we’re all hunting for trophies to hang on our wall.”
And what we SHOULD be doing is hunting for wonderful walls (girls with wonderful middos) to hang trophies (jewelery) on.
Agreed, 80. The OP just seemed to be referring to marriageable aged girls and boys, so I wrote that. But I agree with you. So, if your definition of ‘better’ is more responsible and mature, then girls are better than boys.
Just ignore it, focus on passing the course, and hope you don’t get that professor in a future course.
Girls of marriageable age are generally more responsible, mature, and settled than boys of marriageable age.
Mazal tov, adorable!
Oh well, adorable. Looks like we were both beaten to it. Have a wonderful shabbos, everyone.
Really, Queen Bee? Wow, that’s hardcore.. I did that when I had to take the GRE’s. It actually helped a lot.
workinonit, how about a nice game, as aries suggested? Or a computer game? There’s lots of great computer games out there, depending on what you like.