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I agree with everyone. ayc, we desperately need you here. No one can replace the amount of sensitivity, kindness, intuitiveness, and perception that you possess. Please come back and continue posting so we all can gain more from you and learn from you.
Gumball, the school I am at has a great fashion design department, and it can all be done online! Just something to think about if you are really considering going into that.
One of my biggest pet peeves is when people don’t think about others’ feelings.
observanteen, wow, that passage you wrote titled “My Reward” is really good!! Very uplifting, especially for me, because I’ve always felt the same way. You really have a lot of talent!
busy as a bee, I’d love to read some of your poetry, and that’s cool that you write music! Do you have any music you can post somewhere for people to listen to? About my own music, you can find it at a website called Soundcloud.
mustangrider, I know what you mean about having to keep perfecting something over and over until you get bored of it. I used to have the same problem with my music! I could never finish writing a song because I’d always feel I could add something, and then I’d eventually just drop it. But I’ve learned to see the importance of keeping things simple. To me, a well-written, easy to read and concise book is far more enjoyable than a complex, confusing jumble of difficult metaphors and obscure jargon. I don’t know if this helps, but it’s something to consider, I think :).
Also, QB’s advice is really great, too! I’d listen to her advice before mine, as she is already a talented and accomplished author whereas I’m simply a reader. And welcome back here! Seems like you’ve been away for a bit..Or maybe it just felt like a long time because I’m always looking forward to your posts.
QB, back to your stories and novels, I really would love to read them! But I see we’re still stuck on how to do it..
Ok. Let me just say to Health, I am sorry if it seemed like I was attacking you in any way.
Mods, why was my last post deleted? I believe what I wrote is very helpful, and not at all offensive.
miritchka, I absolutely agree with you. I don’t think it is fair for anyone to be put in the spotlight and labeled as something that may cause them pain without their consent. It is the opposite of tznius. I feel very strongly that we shouldn’t give people a public identity that may cause pain. One should be very careful about this.
mos yumos, while that may be true, let’s look at it the other way. We all do millions of mitzvos, and we get rewarded for each one.
And in general, why focus on the negative and make everyone miserable? Even in the OP’s post, the entire thing can be said with the focus on the positive instead of the negative. Which would mean that the walls, doors, and windows of our houses, workplaces, etc. all testify for us about the wonderful things we did, even while no one was around! It would actually give us an incentive to do mitzvos and chessed without needing it to be recognized or seen by anyone.
Goq, you are a terrific poster, and a great guy. You are always very sensitive, kind, and very well thought-out. We can always count on you to say something witty, caring, sensible, truthful, and intelligent. I really enjoy reading all your posts, and I wish you much success in the future.
Gumball, you always bring a happy and energetic spirit to the CR, and it is very refreshing. You are always nice, contribute a lot, and you put a smile on everyone’s face!
shein, I don’t think Health is disagreeing with the Chofetz Chaim. I think he is simply saying that such a “mitzvah” wouldn’t apply to Mason, as he showed from aries’ post. And I think Health is right.
Now, about this ruling of the Chofetz Chaim, I have a question. Instead of spending the time speaking badly about an influential “OTD” person to prevent others from following, wouldn’t it be more beneficial to spend that time trying to help such a person find their way back to Judaism? And even if that would be impossible, and someone is being influenced by such a person, wouldn’t it be better to show why such a lifestyle would be unsatisfactory instead of speaking negatively about the person himself? Also, if one gets accustomed to speaking badly about people, even in situations where it may be a “mitzvah”, it can G-d forbid possibly lead to making them more comfortable with speaking badly about people when it definitely isn’t a miztvah.
minyal gal, that was very nice of you to say! I happen to think very highly of you as well, as you are always polite and always have something nice to say. And welcome back! I haven’t seen you around lately.
Health, I know this might be considered judging, but I knew you wouldn’t apologize to QB. I truly believe that people who always apologize don’t need to, and the people who need to apologize, never do. I hope you prove me wrong by apologizing. And please just read over all the posts here, starting from QB’s first one, until your last one, and think for a moment how your posts come across. You started out by insulting her. Your original post here could have been said much more politely, which would’ve saved much unpleasantness. Then take a look at your second post here. I don’t know what caused you to take the insulting to the next level, but it’s very apparent and seriously offensive. Judging someone to the level of calling her not Frum? Oh my. Then, rightly so, QB felt extremely hurt and “screamed”. Her screaming was justified. She did nothing wrong, and all you had were assumptions which led you to a terrible accusation. And now, in your last post, you use her “screaming” as a way of judging her negatively even more. I am honestly sick to my stomach that a person can go so far, judge so much, and do anything possible to keep themselves from just saying “I’m sorry”. I am ashamed I’m even bothering with a person like that.
I don’t feel good writing such a post, but it had to be said. And kapusta said something very true: It is only one person. QB, I hope you stay.
QB, I agree with you, and I’m sorry for the hurt you went through from some posters. Your’e perfectly entitled to be upset about it. I would too. And yes, I really can’t believe what was written in the post above my last post. I’m trying to see how it could be viewed in a non-hurtful way, but I can’t. I just hope that when you said “I’m out of here” you just meant out of this thread, and not the CR as a whole. I’d be sad if you left. I really enjoy reading your posts and I appreciate them because you’re a very unique person, very intelligent, and “out of the box”.
Please try to focus on the good posts here, and the posters who are helpful and kind, and not on the others. That’s what I’ve been trying to do, too, since I really wanted to leave at one point as well because of all the rude and disrespectful posts. Please stay.
always runs, thanks for sharing. It is definitely a good thing to think about.
Growing up, we always gave candy to trick-or-treaters. We still do, although there are less and less non-Jews that go trick-or-treating in my neighborhood every year.
In my opinion, there is nothing wrong with not opening your door to them. Plenty of people don’t. But it would be very wrong to do anything that would show scorn or contempt.
Health, I understand what you are saying. Perhaps QB’s case would indeed be the exception, but I would always be dan lekaf zechus for the exception, unless I know 100% otherwise.
And I am not sure why you felt the need to bring in anything about “MO” or your views of it, as I don’t see what it has to do with this discussion, and I think such labels in general only cause more harm and hurt than positiveness.
I agree with everyone. Kapusta is a good-natured, very polite poster who is always considerate, warm, caring, and always has something nice to say.
Health, I’d like to say a few things.
First of all, I think it is wrong to judge people and assume they will “certainly” follow a path just because someone you know has done that. Everyone is different and everyone has different tolerances for things.
Secondly, we really don’t know exactly what QB meant by “Not exactly kosher”, and it could be very different from what your ex was writing. When I saw QB’s words of “Not exactly kosher”, I simply thought she meant that perhaps certain posters here would consider them inappropriate, but not everyone. Which I don’t consider very harmful.
I do understand that you probably feel very strongly about what you wrote since it must have been very hard for you when your ex was writing such material, and you just want to prevent such a scenario from happening again. But even so, I think you said it too harshly.
I’m not at all trying to be disrespectful! Please forgive me if it seems that I am. I just think your post can be hurtful, and I think you could have said what you were trying to say in a less-accusing way.
I’m actually not so into Jewish novels. I like reading in general though. Fiction, Science Fiction, Fantasy, Biographies, History, Science…just about anything. And email would be fine. I wouldn’t want to trouble you with typing up a whole story just for me to read it! Whatever you have already is fine. And only what you’re comfortable with. And I’m sure whatever you’ve written is within my boundaries 🙂
I absolutely agree. She has a very unique ability to give support and encouragement in so many ways. She is extremely caring, thoughtful, and is an unbelievably talented poet.
I understand. Hmm, not sure how it would work. Maybe to go through the email address on my music page? Or maybe some kind of blog? But that would mean it’s online and able to be seen..
jewww, only you know if you are attracted to her on a superficial level. We don’t. So that is your call. And if there are other people who were part of this chessed function that may know her, and you feel comfortable talking to them, you can try find to find out more about her from them to see if you may be compatible. That would get you further with her than a shadchan who doesn’t know her at all.
QB, yes, I really enjoy reading so I’d definitely be interested. And I understand why you wouldn’t want them online, but I’d like to read them, and I’m sure others would also. Is there a way to put them up where only certain people can see them?
Wow, kapusta, I was not aware of that! Do you remember where you heard it from?
QB, I’d love to read your novels! Including the one about the NE in the WoW lore. But yea, I guess posting them here wouldn’t be ideal. Maybe there’s another way.
Others have already said it, but I see ayc as caring, sensitive, polite, understanding, respectful, rational, perceptive, and many other wonderful things.
I also see aries as all of those things as well. And many others here also possess wonderful traits.
Welcome!
Perhaps G-d is showing us how much potential we have to grow in acceptance, understanding, and respecting others. If G-d simply asked us to marry an individual or certain type of specie that very closely resembles us in terms of our values, needs, desires, etc., marriage wouldn’t be a growing experience. It wouldn’t help us reach our potential to be sensitive, perceptive, and try to understand others, and because of that, there would be no purpose (aside, perhaps, from having children). Marriage between man and woman, because they are so different, gives a couple the chance to grow and reach their potential in understanding each other, accepting each other, respecting each other, and loving each other. Perhaps BECAUSE of this “opposing” relationship, G-d is showing us and giving us the opportunity to get the most out of marriage.
ZK, welcome back! We all missed you.
If anyone does know of one for college-aged men, I’d love to join. Haven’t been in a basketball league since high school.
happiest, I understand what you are saying, and it is probably true that many people do feel that way. I just think that when bekitzur said “English too, but that’s not important”, it could be she meant that she is mostly feeling bad about being bored for Limudei Kodesh subjects since she feels it may be disrespect to the Torah, as she said later. And not necessarily that she thinks general studies are not important, but rather that she felt it was a more pressing issue by Limudei Kodesh. Just another way of looking at it.
No problem. Good luck! Hope the production goes well. Maybe you can post what the songs are? We might be able to help with the chords. Sometimes, the chords given on these websites aren’t accurate.
taking a break, yes, the guitar and piano use the same chords and are tuned to the same notes.
Gumball, interior design is a great field, but it is very competitive. You would really have to stand out and be committed to it, which I’m sure you can be if you really love it! There are a number of really good design schools, some even online, that you can get a degree from within 3-4 years. I am currently getting a degree in a different design field, a bit more engineering related, but the school I am at is great. If you like design in general, there are other, closely related fields you can go into that are less competitive and may give you better job opportunities. But definitely do what you love doing!
What are you good at? What are your talents? What do you enjoy doing? Answering those questions should give you a good idea of what you should do.
pba, in all honesty: never. Then again, I haven’t dated too many girls yet.
To me, the only “requirements” are: She should be sweet, kind, and positive. Nothing else is as important as those things to me. Granted, other things are nice to have, too. But not that important.
I was gonna suggest what holyland suggested, but I couldn’t find the song you wanted. Good job QB on finding it!
Antarctica would be cool. I would also love to scuba dive in the Great Barrier Reef, see the Northern Lights, visit Machu Picchu, the Sydney Opera House, drive the Autobahn and the Nurburgring…and a number of others.
I was told that one is permitted to write in such a situation. Though if you can write in an unusual manner, that may be better. For my classes, I have to draw besides write, both on paper and using an electronic drawing tablet, and I was told that both are permitted, even with drawing in the usual manner since I am graded partly on clarity and accuracy.
Beautiful, ayc! I have no doubt that you indeed touch many lives that are in such unfortunate situations. Keep it up. I really connected to this poem, as I was in such a situation growing up.
Wow, QB! That’s really nice! I would never have thought of that…Thanks!
ayc, thanks! I’m so happy I was able to help in some way!
QB, great ending 🙂 I’m not sure what the moral of the story is, though.. Maybe you can think of it?
adorable, sorry I’m late. Believe it or not, I have been very busy lately. Wishing everyone a chag sameach and shabbos shalom.