Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
tahini, what a special person you are for the way you handled the insult directed at you! May we all learn from you! And yes, it’s quite a tragedy that some people just can’t seem to discuss things with others that they may not agree with without insulting them. I wish everyone in the CR was like you.
mamashtakah, I wish your daughter much success, and may she continue to bring you and your family much happiness and pride.
Yossi, wishing you all the best in getting through this challenge, and much success and happiness in the near future!
Goq, thanks for starting this thread and keeping it alive, it’s such a nice idea.
ski, that’s very nice and sensitive of you to look at it in such a way. Keep it up!
Health, those points I made apply ALWAYS, and specifically in a situation like this, where it is so easy to slip up and say lashon hara. And I don’t agree with you that it is a good thing to speak bad about such a person. I don’t think it is ever good to speak bad about anyone, anytime. Even in a circumstance where technically it may be allowed, which is very rare, I still wouldn’t do it. And I definitely wouldn’t be eager to do it, and nor should you, or anyone else. Just think about how wrong that is: “Oooh, look, I have an opportunity to speak bad about someone and I won’t get an aveira for it! I can’t wait to do it!” I’m sorry, but there is something terrible about that.
As far as smaller practical cars go, in England, I like the Fiat 500, the Mini, and the Golf.
I agree with Sam2. Even if the two women talking behind her back are not transgressing any “lashon hara” issue, it is DEFINITELY rude, serves no purpose, and is a breach of v’ahavta l’reiacha kamocha. Besides that, there are a few other problems with it:
1)It can easily LEAD to lashon hara, so why put yourself into such a situation.
2) It can make someone more accustomed to talking negatively about others, which is definitely not something a Jew should be doing.
3) This is something my mom told me: In general, it is not a good a idea to talk about the flaws in another person because G-d will then take a closer look at your own flaws, and judge you as harshly as you judged that person.
SaysMe, I appreciate that!
“it doesn’t sound like you have such a handle on Halacha like some of us here.”
My goodness. I hope you don’t say that to Baalei Teshuva. Or anyone, anymore, for that matter.
I was part of a small Goth scene when I was in high school, and many of them had nose rings and other body piercings. For them, it is simply a way to express individuality and non-conformity. Goths are usually people that have been under-appreciated, and therefore try to turn away from social norms in order to distance themselves from the main society that “discarded” them. To me, that’s what I think of when I see someone with a nose ring. Still, regardless of how I think it looks, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it, because I don’t think there’s anything wrong with expressing individuality.
soliek, I agree with that.
QB, thanks, but it’s okay, I can deal with this. I do agree with you that being able to apologize is a sign of strength.
popa, I understand that you probably wrote what you wrote to QB before you saw her apology. But I think she’s right, that you seem to write a lot of things that are intended as jokes and not harmful, but to other people that don’t know you’re joking around, they may be viewed as serious, and therefore hurtful, so it may be best if you can state outright when you intend something as a joke, so we won’t be confused, and will save people from being hurt. Just a thought! Thanks.
popa, I’m sorry I caused you to get upset. I should have known when I posted my comment that you’d have such a reaction, so I should have never posted it. I will try to refrain from posting such comments to you in the future.
I have absolute faith that G-d is in control of everything, and everything that happens is part of G-d’s plan, and is therefore for the best. This is all regardless of whether or not I am able to prove anyone else wrong. That doesn’t affect my faith in G-d.
postsemgirl, good for you! Just know though, that there are many people that do things because “everyone does it”, so it may not necessarily be a flaw in an individual’s character, rather just shows that they are comfortable doing what others do.
popa: “I would have said the same thing, and would have been glad to be dropped by you.”
This is when we could use a female mod. You see, such a comment may seem fine to you, and even a good way to get your point across, but it can be quite hurtful to postsemgirl. You easily could have made your point without saying that. I know, I’m probably being very annoying about this, and I’m sorry.
Ok, mdd, I will not tell you stories about levels we can’t understand. I will say, however, that in our times, for the vast majority of people struggling with certain aspects of Judaism, that verbal or physical punishment is not only the wrong way of “fixing” the problem, but will most likely cause these people to stray even further from the Path. Also, I’d like to know what you think of my definition for “Diracheha Darchei Noam”, since you seem like a very knowledgeable, well-versed person, and I’d like to get an opinion on that from someone much more knowledgeable than myself. On another note, please don’t be upset with me, but I think it may be in your best interest to try to develop a softer, more pleasant attitude when discussing issues with women, especially about things they may be struggling with, if possible. Thanks!
SaysMe, I absolutely agree.
mdd, first of all, execution and lashes were only done by the Beis Din of earlier times, who were on such a level that we can’t even imagine. Not by the rest of us. And definitely not in our times. And I’ve said what “diracheha darchei noam” means. It is a concept that tells us that G-d wants us to act in pleasant ways, in order to emulate Him. That means everything we do should be done in a pleasant way. And throwing rocks is NOT pleasant, no matter what the circumstances (excluding the execution of stoning which was determined by the Beis Din of earlier times, and is not applicable right now).
QB, I hope that’s a good thing!
Have a wonderful shabbos, everyone.
I am missing adorable and BaalHabooze.
One of my favorite phrases from Tanach is “Diracheha Darchei Noam”. I believe that this phrase gives us an idea of how G-d wants us to act, and how to emulate Him. This would very much apply to how one should rebuke someone for a wrongdoing. It should be done in a non-threatening, pleasant, and soft-spoken way. Not by throwing rocks. Not by saying how “hurtful it must be for your relatives.”
I believe this phrase tells us that G-d wants us to do everything in a positive way. Even rebuking someone, which can be viewed as a negative experience, should be done in the most pleasant way possible. And definitely not through telling someone else about it, which (as others have pointed out) is almost certainly lashon harah, and can only end up negatively.
ski, I’m sorry for the pain you went through. You are absolutely right. The person that said these things did a terrible thing.
And aries is right, it is really important to try to not let other people’s judging hurt you. It’s unfortunate that there are so many people like that. I’ve had to live half my life being judged unfairly by people for something that wasn’t even my choice, and it hurt a lot. But I try very hard to not let it bother me. That is how I am still happy and functioning day to day. If I’d let the pain from these people go into me, I wouldn’t survive.
It is wonderful that you acknowledge certain areas that you can improve in. That is a great thing. Keep it up, and try to not let other people’s judging bother you.
Currently, my favorite album is Images and Words by Dream Theater. It is, in my mind, the best Prog Metal album of all time. I love bands that no one’s heard of.
Goq, I’m so sorry. Just know that you are a terrific guy no matter what.
Na’ar Hayisi and Shema Koleinu- D’veikus
Smoke on the Water
YYZ
The Trooper
Comfortably Numb
All Along the Watchtower
Bohemian Rhapsody
soliek, yea, I haven’t been here much lately. And honestly, I think it’s best for me to not be here so much anyway.
popa, did you take a look at that thread? I think there’s some helpful stuff in there.
No one answered blaba’s second question.
Yes, blaba, I read the poetry thread. Here’s what I have written there last night:
I know I almost never post here (or anywhere anymore), but I just wanted to say that this poetry thread is the nicest, most inspiring thread in the CR.
blaba, you have such talent in poetry, and although many times it hurts to read about all the hardships you go through, I am inspired by how you make it through. Keep it up! I know it just seems like only a few people read this thread, but sometimes the best things are only for the few people who deserve it.
SaysMe, PrincessEagle, and observanteen, you are all unbelievably talented poets, as well as amazingly caring, encouraging, and sensitive people. When I see the support you all give so happily, and so selflessly, it inspires me and helps me believe that there are still wonderful people in the world. And thanks to all the others that take part in this thread as well, who keep it going and give support when it is needed.
Whenever I come the CR (which isn’t very often anymore), I come to this thread first to read the posts by all of you, because they’re so inspiring, and they give off such a powerful and positive vibe, that even with all the other threads here that are “less nice” , I can think of this thread and focus on all the wonderful things that are said here. So thank you!
popa, please take a look at this: http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/apologizing-its-wonderful
I know I almost never post here (or anywhere anymore), but I just wanted to say that this poetry thread is the nicest, most inspiring thread in the CR.
blaba, you have such talent in poetry, and although many times it hurts to read about all the hardships you go through, I am inspired by how you make it through. Keep it up! I know it just seems like only a few people read this thread, but sometimes the best things are only for the few people who deserve it.
SaysMe, PrincessEagle, and observanteen, you are all unbelievably talented poets, as well as amazingly caring, encouraging, and sensitive people. When I see the support you all give so happily, and so selflessly, it inspires me and helps me believe that there are still wonderful people in the world. And thanks to all the others that take part in this thread as well, who keep it going and give support when it is needed.
Whenever I come the CR (which isn’t very often anymore), I come to this thread first to read the posts by all of you, because they’re so inspiring, and they give off such a powerful and positive vibe, that even with all the other threads here that are “less nice” , I can think of this thread and focus on all the wonderful things that are said here. So thank you!
Mazal tov, Goq! You are a really great poster here. Thanks for your wonderful contributions here in the past year, and may you have many more to come.
Ok, I think I may as well post here my personal feelings about this.
Being the son of a child molestor, I of course was greatly hurt when everything became public. But I will GLADLY deal with my own pain rather than G-d forbid have my father still on the loose, which can ultimately cause so much more pain to so many more people. So the argument of “we need to protect the abuser’s family”, in my opinion, isn’t strong enough to cover anything up, and will only make things worse. The best thing that can be done is have it reported as soon as possible. And I AM part of an abuser’s family, and I still believe this.
Now, about rabbonim, in my personal situation, I think they did a good job of opening the community’s eyes to what my father was, but they really didn’t provide any help or support to my family. Do I hate them for this? No. I still respect them. Okay, so I think they could have done that part much better. But that in no way diminishes their greatness, or the respect I have for them. You can still respect someone even if you don’t agree with everything they do.
“yay mp. thats so warm and fuzzy.”
Actually, toi, some of them are. They’re great in the winter.
Sorry moishy, I’m not aware of any EA Sports game deals for Black Friday. I’m actually looking around for good deals on Need for Speed:The Run and Skyrim, both new games that I’d like.
I don’t think I own any single color shirts (aside from my shabbos shirts). They’re all mixtures of all sorts of colors, mostly orange, brown, tan, peach, and other “fall” colors. I love those.
I once had a rebbi come over to me and say “You know how many nice ties you can make from your shirt?”
QB +1
In regard to the OP’s concern, I don’t think that gemara is more important than tanach, but I do think that learning gemara can help develop a student’s analytical skills more than learning tanach can. Perhaps that is why gemara is such a major focus for teenage students. But that in no way diminishes the importance of learning tanach, which I think should be done in every school.
While I haven’t really seen such a thing, it doesn’t surprise at all, since in some circles the idea of having any correspondence between boys and girls is considered the worst thing ever. So of course, that would include this. I think for people that have been brought up that way, it may be problematic since they would have no idea how to act, or interact, with the opposite sex, which can result pretty badly. But for people that have been brought being used to corresponding with both boys and girls, having a shabbos meal with each other would be considered perfectly normal, and a wonderful thing.
But even for people of the former group, perhaps they should have such arrangements at meals anyway, so they will become better at properly acting and interacting with the opposite sex, which is something they’ll have to do anyway when they begin dating, and more importantly, when they have a spouse.
It is not uncommon to hear back from them within two-three months of the semester you wish to enroll for. I would advise going to the school and meet with a counselor or director of admissions to find out. It’s interesting you are able to apply for spring semester. Almost all the grad schools I applied to only allowed entry every fall.
I haven’t posted here in a week, and it’s all due to this absolutely sickening thing that’s going on here. The cruelty, injustice, and embarrassment done to possibly the most wonderful poster here has literally made me sick. I actually felt ill yesterday. I couldn’t sleep last night. I was crying for ayc. I’m not joking. In my opinion, everything done to ayc in the past week is sickening. The moderator that brought all this about I think just had something personal against ayc (from a situation that happened around 2-3 weeks ago), and used his power as a mod to do what he pleased. Sick.
I can barely bring myself to post this, knowing that ayc has been blocked and can’t offer the help, encouragement, and support he/she has always given to everyone here. I think this terrible thing can never be undone. Even if ayc is unblocked, the injustice of it all is appalling. I feel that I can no longer be part of forum that has such sickening things going on.
And Jothar, while you may have good intentions, just look at what this place has become since you started your whole safety thing. It is full of posters accusing others of fraud, being someone else, and it’s full of negativity. Please stop. This used to be such a wonderful place.
I’ve rarely been more ashamed and angry in my life. And I’ve have many terrible things happen in my life. But this is for another person. That makes it even more hurtful. I am ashamed to say it, but I am much happier in the non-Jewish forums I take part in. They know how to respect each other. What a disgrace to Judaism.
Thanks, Baal.
adorable, I’ve missed you! I’m guessing you’ve been really busy, which is a good thing. I’m doing well, thank G-d. Hope things are going well for you.
Have a great shabbos Goq, and good luck with the exercising.
ayc, thanks for being there this past week for so many people here. There’s really a noticeable difference in the CR when your’e here. I’m sure that many people will be smiling at the shabbos table tonight because of you.
Wishing everyone a wonderful and inspiring shabbos.
moishy- I’m sure you can find such games online. Or, go to the Game Stop and ask the guy behind the counter where you can get it.
Sister Bear, that is so thoughtful and perceptive of you to post such a statement! Wow! And I completely agree, there are many posters here who offer so much help, encouragement, guidance, and support to those who need it, and they do it so patiently, so kindly, and so warmly. It is people like those that make me think “I’m happy to be part of nation with such people”.
In such a situation, it’s difficult to have no one get hurt. For example, in my father’s situation, the outcome probably saved many innocent people, which is wonderful, but I, and my family, suffered pretty badly. I’m thankful we turned out alright. Many people would not. The most one can do is to take the best action that will have the smallest negative effect on the fewest amount of people. And every scenario is different.
BTGuy, I don’t think cleverjewishpun was saying that since they lost the Grammy, it must mean their level of musical ability was deteriorating. Rather, that they happened to “lose their musical edge” and became much more dull around that time. I happen to think they simply were money hungry and saw that going mainstream would provide a greater cash flow, instead of sticking to their roots.
And I agree that awards in the music industry mean absolutely nothing. Just look at who’s in the Rock n’ Roll Hall of Fame, and who isn’t. (Example- Rush isn’t in it. Yet, in my opinion, they are one of the most talented bands of all time.)
Speaking of the parsha, I came to a thought-provoking lesson from the opening story of the parsha. Avraham Avinu, while in tremendous pain, ran to greet 3 strangers who looked to be in need of help. He brought them to his tent, gave them food (that Sara Imeinu quickly prepared for them), and made sure their needs were satisfied. And what makes this even more incredible is that Avraham thought them to be idol-worshipers, as Rashi points out from the fact that Avraham had them wash their feet before eating, since he assumed they had been worshiping idols. And even so, Avraham did not hesitate to greet them kindly, offer them sustenance, and make sure their needs were met.
What a lesson we can take from this. How many of us would do such an amazing thing even for a fellow Jew, let alone an “idol worshiper”? Hopefully we can follow in Avraham’s and Sara’s footsteps.
cleverjewishpun, I agree with you about that. I may even go so far as to say that the glory days ended when Cliff Burton was killed. Of course, Justice was indeed a great album, but it was the beginning of the end. And I always wonder what could have been had Dave Mustaine stayed in the band. I happen to think he is far better a guitarist than Kirk.
Emunas, that is a beautiful thing that you did, speaking to those girls, and I have no doubt that they gained a new appreciation for accepting others because of your story. May you continue giving such inspiration. And yes, you are absolutely right, I definitely can and should make it a priority to give the support and care to others in less fortunate situations that I myself didn’t receive. It is something I definitely should try to do more often. Thanks.
You know you’re not a yeshiva guy anymore when you buy shoes because they’re comfortable, and not because the tips are more square-edged than the guy sitting next to you.
Emunas, what a great post, and a very important lesson. Even though I personally didn’t have the support and care from the community growing up, when I so desperately needed it, it is nice to know that there are many people out there that do give unconditional love and encouragement to other Jews, no matter who or what they are. We should all become like that.
I believe that is called the distributive property:
x(a+b)= xa+xb. So in your example, x=1/2.
Oops, looks like others got there first. Sorry for repeating.