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i think hes being extra machmir because he likes to be. how is automatic bidding different then setting a timer for shabbos?
bklynmom, i have the s.i. resident rate for ezpass and i pay $6. (tho i havent used it recently and i think the prices were lowered to 5.50) how do you pay $3?
i was gonna write something else (which i saved and was gonna send later) but after reading your last post im gonna go in a different direction. first of all i truly hope your opening up to your therapist as much as your opening up here. but even so, he/she can only help so much. this is obviously not just simple social anxiety. i think even you are aware of that even though you didnt want to admit it at first. for simple social anxiety, yes CBT alone can help. but this goes way deeper. you really should be on meds. please reconsider your beliefs about them and ask your therapist to refer you to someone who can prescribe you something. i know from my own experience (id rather not get into details but i had it bad too) and even my mother who sees so many adolescants (and adults!) with similar issues admits that the ones who go on meds have better success with therapy then the ones who dont.
im sorry if i misunderstood you but in your last post you wrote “im feeling realy down.i have so many problems besides for social anxiety which basicaly means im always self consios al the time!.i always have a self esteem which doesnt exist no confidence no friends.so many social and emntional problems.”
that sounds pretty intense. so either your making it sound more serious then it is, or your in denial of the seriousness of the matter. i am not you and dont know your true situation but sometimes your brain cant work naturally because its lacks in certain neurotransmitters. im not telling you what to do nor judging for the choices you make. in fact i sincerely empathize with you becuase ive been there. i am not a therapist but i am a therapist’s daughter and chances are if you keep cycling into this “monthly depression”, he/she will probably refer you to someone to prescribe you something anyway.
you never mentioned whether you take any sort of medications or not. altho i never suffered from social anxiety, i did suffer from general anxiety and phobias which led to panic attacks. it randomly started when i was 22 and i was already in shidduchim and i actually once had a panic attack on a date. i went to a therapist but it didnt really help much till i got put on (the right) SSRI. once the meds built up into my system it seriously felt like all my racing “what if” thoughts just took a nap! they didnt go away completely, but they didnt make me feel overwhelmed either and once i was able to work out my issues i was able to go off the meds. depression and anxiety are very much linked together and treating one helps treat the other. altho for strict social anxiety and social situations, propranonol (sp?) is very commonly prescribed. like i said i dont know whether or not your taking any medication but if not its definitely worth asking your doctor about.
i personally dont care for queens in general and never really made any friends which is why it doesnt matter which area I live in if we stay here (altho hillcrest has a slight advantage cuz of the no alternate side thing). I might like FR better because people tell me its more out of townish (altho I really dont know if its true. Ive only been there a few times to go to Central ave.) I do prefer a private house over an apartment building (one of those complexes type builings are ok) and I prefer not being tied to anything more then a 1 yr lease. I also need a place that would accept a pet as we have a parakeet. I dislike being in NY all together so any area is as good as the next. Like i said Im more picky about the apartment itself then where its located. My husband is the opposite and cares more about where its located then the apartment itself but when Im really adamant about something he tends to cave in.
for some reason my last post didnt end up going through. they may or may not let your email through. i have seen the mods post peoples’ personal info up here in the past but i guess it depends on the circumstance. if u dont want to give it out thats fine too. bc we may have different sources, just post apartments u hear about on here. i dont want to steal anything away from you so anything u know that is not nogeah for you, you can post up and i can look into them if i think theyre good for us. im open to pretty much anywhere in the near vicinity. i honestly dont care which area we move to as long as its nice, affordable, and i have access to laundry 🙂
i dont have any secret identities but if the moderators let you give your email id probably have my husband talk to you. imYH were due with our second kid end of june so any second bedroom would potentitally need to be able to to fit 2 kids. im constantly checking craigslist, trulia and zillow but I never know if these apartments are in jewish areas or not and they always want a bunch of extra fees which comes out to thousands of dollars upfront before you even move in. i really prefer relying on the jewish listings but like i said nothing really available and any info i do receive about a decent apt in queens or FR that is in our price range, is gone by the time we get to inquire about it.
coffee do u mind me asking u if ur in a 2 or 3 br here in queens and how much ur paying for it? i know ur leaving soon which is why Im asking. theres really not that many apts available and its been very frustrating for us as so many good and AFFORDABLE leads were taken by the time i was able to inquire about it. id like to be out my current apt by july/august. were open to far rockaway as well (unfortunately like i said my husband nixed bayswater which im very angry abt as i recently spoke to a guy abt a 3 br to full bathroom with washer and dryer and it sounded so promising. er!) either way if u know of something thats not for u please let me know. thanks.
lol true! your both right. i didnt quite think of the actual hassle of the “moving” part. and having older kids. probably because we own very little furniture (our 1 bedroom is so small we learned to deal with very little) and my oldest is not even a year and half yet so for us its not so diffult and I forgot to think about other peoples level of difficulty. If you really prefer FR and want or more importantly need the prices of Bayswater its still managable to pick up and move after a year or 2 just to save money for that particular reason. I doubt you’d be the first family to do that. You really cant go wrong with either community. I just like that the apartments are bigger and cheaper and for me thats a total game changer esp when both communities are family oriented. But you need to do whats best for your family and not mine. Good luck!!
my husband is from Bayswater and said Darchei is not far at all. My step brother (with 9 kids) also lives there and they all fit in a 3 bedroom apartment. It does seem like a nice communuity. I would consider moving there as we are looking to move to a 2 bedroom, but my husband doesnt want to move back simply because he has a healthier relationship with his family when hes living at a slight distance. Your right it is more affordable then Far Rockaway and Ive seen some pretty nice size apartments there. We live in Queens and small 2 br apartments here are the same price as large 3 br apartments there. I understand your dillema. Maybe its worth it just to move to Bayswater and lease an apartment for a year or so and the extra money you save you can use towards a different apartment in FR. Either way you dont lose and if you do lose its not much. If you love it, great, and if you dont then its only a year lease anyway. Thats what I would do. But obviously you need to do whats best for your family.
my mother is a therapist who specializes in addiction therapy mainly substance abuse but can help someone that suffers from any addiction. if you really feel you need help or just want a phone consult to see if you truly have an addiction or a dependance, then contact her. she has a website roadwaytorecovery.com (mods this person is asking for real help/advice so please let this through as she is an expert in this area)
maybe its just me but i have never been embarrassed to daven anywhere or infront of anyone. im mostly ashamed to daven in front of HKBH himself because i feel so unworthy. but not people. i can care less. i see a bunch of people doing much weirder things like wearing pants below their underwear, playing loud obnoxious music on their ipod, or people asking for handouts at red lights, teens yelling in the streets screaming obscenities and they dont seem phased in the least! id be mortified if that was me! but u know what? nobody cares either. people go about their lives not really paying attention to what others do. ive davened on subways, bus stops, supermarket parking lots or where ever i am and the zman tefilla came. however i wouldnt necessarily say id feel as comfortable if i lived in north dakota. example.
when i was about 16 i was waiting in a bus terminal and was heading back to ny. mincha time came so i found a corner to daven in before my bus came and when i was finished with shmone esray a little boy asked me if i was a witch casting spells. i never saw it that way before but i guess thats what it looks like from a secular perspective. i just laughed and said yes would u like me to turn you into a frog? (no dont worry i didnt, i just explained to him that i was praying and he said “oh ok”) besides that curious little boy (this was not a jewish populated area so he probably never saw a jew before) most people dont care what you do in public. try one time to say tehillim somewhere. ull see no one will notice or even if they do they will only ask out of curiosity but never to make fun. heres an example of that. i was once saying tehillim on a bus and a black lady next to me asked me what i was saying and i said “psalms” and her response was “oh i say those too! i love them.” see its not as weird as you think. and definitely dont feel embaressed to daven infront of another jew! we ALL daven!!! and were not judging you. i get so much nachas when i see other women on the subway saying tehillim. i love it!
well eclipse, i didnt quite marry the guy in the poem. far from it actually. nor did i become that girl i said i was gonna be. i expected alot when i was younger. i had so much expectations of the guy i wanted and the person i wanted to be and then life happens.i realized that poem takes a lifetime. so hopefully after 120 i can look back and say to my kids and grandkids it all came true. for now…theres lots of work. and marriage isnt all that lovey dovey fluffy stuff. true love takes time. we both have alot of learning and growing to do. but still in my time of loneliness it kept me strong and i am thankful Hashem gave me the wisdom and emotions to write it up.
eclipse your poem is BEAUTIFUL. absolutely stunning. i once wrote something on a similar note. i started writing it at 19 and finished it when i was about 22. it kept me strong for 8 years (got married at 27). i read it nearly everyday and every night before i went to sleep. and everytime a shidduch went bad and i got hurt, i read it. i kept a copy in my siddur by shmoneh esray to remind me to daven harder. it kept me hopeful that there is that light at the end of the tunnel and my chosson was out there somewhere waiting for me. ill share with you mine. your gonna find your guy bezras Hashem very soon!
Dearest future chosson,
Where ever you may be
I am waiting for you so eagerly
Just so I can finally say
You are special to me in every way
Your neshama shines and sparkles so bright
From it emanates a radiant light
Materialism to you is no issue
Just to be rich in torah and mitzvos too
Flowing through your veins is a sweetness I cant explain
A love for learning and growing to sanctify Hashem’s name
A cheerful and pleasent demeanor, an optimistic mind
When tough times develop the stregnth of bitachon you simply find
With joy and pleasure you help others so selflessly
Bringing nachas to Hashem and to your family
With all your words and actions the Shechina rests
In all your sorrows and in all your tests
The boy you are is the girl I aspire to be
Because you are you is the reason I am me
In order that I can be zoche for you
I must myself up to what you do
It is what I have strived for these last few years
It took alot of courage and alot of tears.
I share with you a piece of my true essence
For its because of you my growing has such persistance
Its in your zechus for all the torah I learn and mitzvos I do
There are no words that can sufficiently thank you
We are so close yet so very far apart
I can feel you inside me with every beat of my heart
I am yours and you are mine
Together our souls rightfully intertwine
Two hearts, minds, and bodies to unite as one
There’s so much to accomplish and it hasnt yet begun
Eventhough we’ve never met there’s still so much to say
I cant express how greatly I anticapate that day
You are a priceless gift, my very own precious treasure
Thinking of you gives me endless amounts of pleasure
My dear chosson, oh how I wish you could know
That you make so happy and give me such glow
B’ezras Hashem I will make you feel the same way
It is what I do daven for every single day
Without you I am not complete
But I will become whole the day we meet
To stand with you under the chupa in perfect harmony is sheer bliss
Devoting our lives to each other to build a bayis
You are the only one my heart longs for
With each passing day I love you more and more
My love for you is for all eternity
As we grow together in divine spirituality
My beloved chosson, know that every word of this is true
And it written and dedicated only to you
Always remember how special you are to me
From the depths of my heart…
Your future kallah,
mercury
first of all big mazal tov! very exciting!! personally i would never spend 200 for a dress i am only going to wear once. (possibly twice if you wear it for shabbos sheva brachos) i couldnt either find something i liked for a decent price so i ended up borrowing a dress one of my friends wore to her vort. it worked great. and nobody knew the difference. all i paid for was the dry cleaning. i do have a friend from brooklyn who ended up going all the way to passaic and went shopping in this store called pink orchid and she bought a beautiful vort dress from there. they have a website if you want to take a peak and see the styles they have. if your really stuck and cant find something in brooklyn, maybe its worth a trip in. hatzlacha!
i still agree with you 100 percent. i really mean that with a full heart becuase i want things to change too! but as a whole girls are more sensitive beings and you just cant change their essence. unless you are specificly talking about older singles and giving them names first. when you get older you start becoming more immune and learn to be able to keep your spirits up. but the younger ones are still too emotionally immature to handle all the rejections. the problem still tho is that the girls will never be the ones in charge. rabonim dont want it that way and shadchanim follow the rabonim. when you start letting girls control things its gonnna now turn the tables making the girls the picky ones leaving the boys left out for many months sometimes even an entire year without a single date. its happened to me and its happened to my friends. tho not spoken about publicly, im pretty sure the underlying reason boys get suggested the girls first is because the rabonim want them to get married as quick as possible so they can channel their taivos in the proper direction. you take that potential away when you give the girls the upper hand. that leads to the very strong possibility that there will be a serious spritual yeridah in the really good boys that are out there if we start changing the system. like i said before there is a reason things are this way and tho not ideal, it still works.
i havent read other peoples posts so i dont know if i am repeating something already mentioned but im gonna mention it anyway. frumgirl, i dont want to come across harsh, i am totally on your side here and i will explain why……your idea is great and kol hakavod for putting it out there….. but…. unfortionatly your system will never fly. like you, back when i was in shidduchim i was out to try to change the system and give girls more of an “upper hand” to help out with the so called “shidduch crisis”. i wrote a letter to yeshiva world editor which was posted march 4, 2008 before the coffee room days (under my old screen name unopinion8ed). my idea was called “shidduch exchange” if your interested in reading it. it also got printed in the country yossi, yated, and hamodia. i received so much criticim both on ywn and through email from lots of people, mostly from the boys themselves. i wanted so badly for my system to get implented. i was on the phone and at my computer for countless hours trying to reach out to rabbonim, shadchanim, and askanim for help. unfortionately the boys will always have the upper hand when it comes to shidduchim. although some shadchonim agreed to work with my idea, shadchanim as a whole will never do it your way and for good reason too. becuase girls are too senstive and emotionally invested in a shidduch even before anything happens. imagine you hear about your dream boy, wonderful things, everything you wanted and more. all the references check out etc etc… you call the shadchan back with an eager yes only to find out in a few days hes not maskim! do you know how many times your name has been sugggested to a boy only for him to say no and his name never once came across your way? how lucky you are not to know!!! like i said girls would not be able to handle all the initial rejections because they are too sensitive and too emotionally involved in a person they never met. boys are not. and that is why this system is fine the way it is. i wrote that letter when i was 23. i got married when i was 27. it wasnt easy. nothing about shidduchim is easy. but i came to accept that no matter how messed up this system is, theres a reason it works and everyone still gets married at their destined time.
i 1 million percent disagree with everyone whos saying this child should not go to camp. are you the camp directors??? first of all you do not know his exact age. for whatever reason you are assuming hes 10. where did that come from? what if hes younger? i started to go to sleep away camp when i was 8. to me he sounds young-ish because if he was older and did wet his bed every night, he probably would have told his parents he didnt want to go. and if hes older? so what! these days so many kids have issues with something. guaranteed theres gonna be a kid in his bunk who has asthma or diabetes or is adhd or has severe food allergies and can eat very few things. camps and counselors are so accommodating to people with special needs. definitely DO NOT have him sleep in the infirmary. thats just begging for questions and extra attention where its not needed. but some of you guys sound so mean to say so blatantly that he should not go just because he has this issue. theres different reasons why he could be wetting the bed. sometimes its psychological and it could be because of a certain stressor at home. for all you know hell have so much fun in camp that he might stop. either way i would never want to take away the experience of going away to sleep away camp especially if the boy wants to.
i am on slichos’s side here. sometimes you have to say your point in a way its understood without beating around the bush. she didnt understand that people were ignoring her becuase they were getting annoyed. so she kept posting more. i dont tend to post much but i like reading the comments here. and over the last few weeks or so, the CR has been inundated with her posts, many about such futile things. it was a bit cyber bullying-ish as she was stepping on other peoples posts constantly. no one saying anything is passively rewarding to her. it makes her think that its ok and she will continue to do it. shes obviously going through a hard time and came on here for some attention/interaction. i dont know what her family life is like at home or how many friends she has but apparently if all was well, she wouldnt have needed to put herself out there so much. my heart truly goes out to this girl and i hope shes ok. mi kiamcha yisroel that no one wanted to say anything to hurt her feelings (as you probably are thinking the same thing as me), but in this case i think i feel it was justified. plus, remember, her anonymity is still intact. so she doesnt need to worry about that and can go about life like this never happened. i do believe tho that rather then one of us, the moderators should have told her to limit her postings, perhaps through email in a private manner. in the future i think they should do it. infact there should be a new rule that so many new posts can only be posted by anyone whether per hour or day week or however they want to work it. this way it makes everyone here equal and no one can step on anyone.
also i wanted to add, that when you do indeed start work again, try change your mindset. everyday wake up and say “i love my baby and i am going work to help support him”. it wont change the situation but it may help ease the stress of leaving him by focusing on the positive. at work too when you start to miss him focus on that. you may not want to go back to work but your saying both you and your husband agree on the fact that you have to. sometimes in life we just cant change a situation. but we can change how we perceive them. i truly do wish you much luck and may i get to be be half the mother you are!
morahrach, wow how different 2 people can be! i am so jealous that you love your child more then your own sanity. you seem like such an amazing person and an amazing mother. as you know I BH recently had my first baby,(since that post on baby stuff, we had a girl erev purim) anyways i totally understand you and how difficult it is to start work again. i am the exact opposite. i was looking for a job for an entire year. i wanted to work so bad. not just for money but just to get me out of the house. as a dental hygienist its really hard to find work, especially if its your first job since graduating. i was getting so depressed just being home everyday with nothing to do. my husband hasnt had any luck with work either so we were both home all day and becuase of that our relationship was seriously deteriorating. 3 months after i had the baby i finally started having a little more energy and was looking for work again. BH something finally came my way cuz my baby screams all day. shes 4 months and cries A LOT! i cant handle being at home with her all day. maybe cuz your baby is older its easier for you. my husband who has way more patients then me has now been a stay at home dad and has grown quite attached to the little one. i love seeing him interact with her because I rarely see fathers do that. and i get to leave the house and keep my sanity and I am thrilled. so like i said we have the exact opposite situation. but i have such kinas sofrim that you are the way you are with your baby. you were just born to me a jewish mother. and he is one lucky little man to have a mom like you! good luck with everything. bezras Hashem everything will “work” out fine! :).
by the way as a side note. i dont know what kind of work you do. but if you really want to stay home with your son i have a friend that also wanted to work but didnt want to leave her son so she opened a small play group in her home and babysat a few kids and made money! she figured i’m watching my own kid anyway, what difference is it if i watch a few more and it worked out great for her! is that something you would consider?
morahrach, you obviously were never truly mochel those few dollars which means he is still obligated to pay you. just cuz he forgot doesnt make him patur. i once had to tell someone i worked for he owed me an extra hour worth of my time i felt bed because i had left and so much time had passed since (not 6 years) but it continued to bother me ever so slightly eventho i was mochel. so i asked another employee at that office and she said he would want you to tell him and not be mochel. so when i told him he was so happy that i did becuase otherwise its considered stealing. and hes such a yashardik man that he really was happy i came to him to make things right so either be mochel ENTIRELY (hard to do) or tell him becuase if its really bothering you it can chas veshalom cause something up in shamayim for him.
google “davening on hot coals” by Rabbi Yehoshua Karsh. dont know him or ever heard of him. I came across this by accident somehow years ago and it probably the best thing I ever read in my entire life. ive read it numerous times as it never ceases to amaze me. He is so down to earth and relates to people who have little interest in opening sefarim or listening to mussar shmoozin on this topic. It is a bit long maybe somwhere between 10 and 15 pages or so, so best to print it out and read it that way rather then online as I noticed its easier to concentrate on paper then a computer screen. and then just take some points that you like and put it onto a post it note and stick into your siddur.
i wish i could be of help but given the fact i got married in between yom kippur and sukkos, all my sheva brachos (exept for one) took place in a sukkah. (by the way as a side note people that want a specific hall should book a wedding then. it worked for us as the hall we wanted, tiferes rivka, was booked for months in advance exept for those few days in between. some halls might even go cheaper on their prices because they will not get business otherwise. but thats off topic…) anyways back to my sheva brachos…they werent lavish. plastic everything prety much and decorations consisted of colorful construction paper chains and fake fruit hanging on the walls but hey, it worked! my point is like this. truth is most chassan and kallahs the week after the wedding are so exausted they prefer small events as opposed to larger ones. many of my friends even told me they wish they could just skip going out and stay home and sleep. it was the yumtiv seuda for us so we had no choice :). the one time our sheva brachos was at a resteraunt eventho it was seperated it was still so noisy with kids it wasnt so enjoyable. so make sure whichever resteraunt you choose they really try to make it private and not just put up a mechitzah. it blocks out people but not noise. if your paying anyway, you want the best service. perhaps if feasable you can make it in your house and have it catered? much cheaper and the couple might really enjoy it. a family my brother was close to made a bbq sheva brachos for him in their backyard. like I said I dont know if this is feasable for you but theres other options besides resteraunts if nothing pans out. good luck and mazal tov!
i grew up in a very small out of town community where there were no kosher pizza shops or any hang outs on motzei shabbos and where saying good shabbos or hello to a boy wasnt the end of the world. my school was co ed till 8th grade. most of the boys in my class came from yeshivish homes. i had rabbonims sons and the rosh yeshivas grandson in my class becuase there was no choice and no money to fund a second school. we were all friendly with each other and everyone stayed yeshivish and married good frum people. my best friends were these twin boys who lived down the block from me.
personally i think if the kids are going to hang out anyway let the pizza shops stay open. its a public place where anyone and everyone can see them. closing them would cause way worse havoc. where else will the kids go? the library? doubtful. they will find some other place. perhaps less public or less frum jews. either way, less eyes on them. kicking a kick out of yeshiva or bais yaakov is the worst thing someone can do. theres no coming back from that. whether emotionally or even in terms of shidduchim. the kids will even hang out more if they dont have to be in school. let the parents dicipline these kids. schools should stay out of it. anyways thats my opinion.
saysme, you never know what life will bring you. and parnassah comes from Hashem not a college degree. a college degree is only your hishtadlus in achieving income but it doesnt cause you to have one. i went to college and graduated with a degree in dental hygiene. i also majored in psychology and made the deans list for 4 years in a row. ive been out of school for a year and with all my effort i still havent found work and i have 16,000 dollars worth of loans to pay back. my husband quit college as well. for different reasons then you but he had his own reasoning. he isnt working either. he has no degree or experiene so its hard for him to find work. and since he quit school hes never been the same. his lack of focus has taken a huge toll on him emotionally which in turn effected his ruchnious as well. my sister in law graduated from NYU nursing school more then 10 years ago but she never used her degree. shes instead a stay at home mom and loves it. my point is like this. if you decide to quit school theres no reason to regret it. you can always go back. just make sure if you do quit, you have to have a focus. because as ive seen first hand, not having one can effect you in the same ways you thought you were trying to avoid in the first place. good luck!
popa you should bring on the dates some boxen of donuts. make it the springsmidge kind those are really good. (or maybe shell prefer a snowcone) 🙂
i also had your situation. perfect guy but zero chemistry. i asked my rav what i should do and his words were “keep dating him until you cant date him anymore. you will either get engaged or call it off”. he was right. the very next date i called it off. i just couldn’t see myself marrying him. since you’ve been dating this boy for a while i’m gonna suggest something else. i didn’t read all the posts so it could be someone mentioned this already. i think you should take a break and think about it. it seems the more you date him the more confused your getting. my sis in law did that with my brother and she ended up missing him so much she said yes. dont talk or text or see him for a few weeks. if you miss him then i think you should go ahead and continue with the shidduch. if you dont then id say its better to let him go. hatzlacha!
thanks morahrach for clarifying that point the hazelnut and vanilla flavors are universally under the OU.
i have to agree with poster on this one. i am all for segulos. i think ive tried like every single one to help me find a shidduch. and i still got married at age 27- way later then all my friends and even girls i used to babysit. to rely on a segulah in my opinion is borderline apikorsis. as stated before it is not the segulah itself that brings yeshua it is the hope that whatever zechus this segulah has, Hashem will help bring the yeshua quicker. people have to be careful because it is like testing Hashem. sometimes segulos work sometimes they dont and we have no way of knowing when or if they will. but that doesnt mean you should stop saying perek shira after 40 days. by all means keep saying it even if its not bringing the results your hoping for. i said it for 2 years! and who knows how many other shidduchim i made in that time or how many people I helped find parnasah or have a refua shelaima. i know how badly you must feel tho. so heres the best advice you will ever get: my teacher in bais yaakov said to me the best segulah for anything and everything is tefilla from your heart. so if you really need something tell Hashem directly in YOUR OWN WORDS that you need it. perek shira is nice. but what Hashem really wants is to hear the words coming from you. i cant tell you how many times this segulah has worked for me. wishing you much hatzlacha
i am so glad you are feeling better about the situation! BH!. i knew over time you would. now you can start to laugh about it. anyways i wasnt joking about the diaper thing. im glad a few of you got a laugh from it but my husband admitted to me he never changed a diaper in his life (hes 27) and truly thinks hes gonna keep it that way. hes not a baby person and can care less when i talk about baby products and stuff. he doesnt like holding them or cuddling them either. i see it with his own neices and nephews. how do you think that makes me feel when our baby is due in 4 weeks!? my mother said its becuase his paternal instinct wont come out till after becuase as long as he doesnt see a live baby it doesnt really exist to him yet. so obviously hes still in denial about what he thinks his role as a father is. but still, the fact that your husband did it in PUBLIC of all places eventho you were around is huge! from everything we go through in life no matter how ichy we feel from it, theres always good that comes from it so count your lucky stars missy! 🙂