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Joseph
I don’t understand your comparison
You can’t “hold” chalev akum is treif, it either is pigs milk or it isn’t.
People who don’t drink it are being machmir for a chasash (that in all likelihood doesn’t exist anymore)
As opposed to carrying in RHR which is assur midioreysaJoseph
Sherry is an aged/fortified wine, and you have the obvious nesech issue. Once the sherry matures the casks that held the wine are reused by the scotch manufacturers. The scotch is stored in the casks for years, as it imparts flavor and color.
The halachic issue involves bliyos form the sherry. Many hold that the bleyos constitute a significant amount and make the scotch not kosher. From my experience many are not makpid and use any “single malt ” scotch. Many (such as Rav Reisman) speak out against the practice of using any whiskey that doesn’t have a hechsher.Considering the state of current affairs, guys don’t really have a right to complain. The girls have much more of tayna on Enough is Enough!
“Enough is Enough! how come it is so hard for me to get a date (ie, why are guys so shallow?!)
“Enough is Enough! why do my parents have to pay for the majority of the wedding?!”
“Enough is Enough! why do I (and my parents) need to support my husband?!”
I think you can splurge on a meal every now and then considering how the system is weighed heavily in your favorSince I’m relatively sure that I have more experience on the receiving end then other posters, my answer is simple. It depends on the person and the therapist. A committed person and a good therapist will solve problems.
Unfortunately, I have met numerous therapists that lack either basic common sense, or the basic ability to guide people.
I have advised people on the better therapists in my area. My advice has always been
1) both parties involved should like the therapist, if not try another.
2) Don’t assume they know better than you, It’s 99% common sense (which is why a Rav is perfectly capable of guiding couples)
3) The therapist should be laid back. Many are so stuck in concepts that they pick up in a book and are incapable of seeing past “book sense”. These people are dangerous because they are constantly trying to find pathology, as opposed to treating real world people. Many, Many , Many of those calling themselves therapists are people with more mental pathology then the people they treat. I personally believe these people go into the field to try to understand themselves more than the people they treat, and these people really shouldn’t be treating people.Having been in your situation ( I am remarried, BH happily) I can tell you that there is plenty I wish I had differently, I am sure you are not blameless.
Many people feel divorce and remarriage is the answer, but there is plenty of misery in the divorced/remarried crowd.
I can tell you that I found the Garden of Peace to be tremendously helpful. I adopted the philosophy during my divorce and have seen tremendous hatzlocho since then. In addition, I used the philosophy from day 1 of my second marriage and I credit it with my success.
That said, my advice is like this. If you are a tzadik, and you can keep the tension in your house to a minimum and it isn’t affecting the kids then stay, because even in a relatively friendly divorce like mine, the kids have issues.Lilmods approach sounds reasonable, who says that Hashem expects all or nothing? Perhaps only a marginal movement in the right direction fulfills this persons tachlis.
That said, Joseph, I do find the question intriguing. But conventional wisdom from the gedolim indicates the chiyuv to do kiruv, which of course means it is the right thing to do.I know a lot of chabadnicks
I also know a lot Breslevors
as far as I know they love all fellow jews
which is more than i can say about this threadRebYidd
I’m not sure if your comment has to do with current events, the removal of civil war memorabilia/statues. But I’m all for it.
Jews wouldn’t want to walk around Germany and see busts of Hitler/Himmler. The civil war was started for immoral reasons so why memorialize it in public and on government buildings. Put these statues in museums were they belong.
Of course you can make the same argument (based on my previous post) about busts of Washington but the reasons they are memorialized on american buildings is obvious. I’m sure there aren’t any statues of Washington in England.Actually the founding fathers were ungrateful profiteers who rebelled against a benevolent monarchy who was bending over backwards to make the states happy.
The principle of “give me freedom or give me death” is laughable. Firstly, it’s hardly a Jewish value. Additionally, the states were free, paying less taxes then the average British citizen.
The founding fathers got thousands killed and were mored b’malchus for reasons involving profit and not morality.
This is certainly not the version taught in schools, but can anyone deny it?This whole thread is sad
not one poster advised, maybe just maybe to actually have a conversation with your neighbor before calling the cops
maybe that’s what mature adults do. Maybe you would have gotten a perfectly logical answer like, “we are training our three year old to sleep in a bed, but she falls out of bed and wakes up screaming”, and you wouldn’t even need to ask the question.
Maybe, you would have embarrassed him and he would be self conscious and stop screaming at his wife and/or kids.
or maybe he is abusive and he would yell at you to mind your own business and then you would have a genuine concern to mull over and ask a shayla onThat flatbush incident caused me to be a lot more careful and look into hechsherim and I became a lot more makpid. I walked out of a fleishik restaurant last night even though most people would rely on that hechsher. Simply because there are only a handful of hechsherim that I have vetted enough to rely on for fleishiks. 10 years ago I would have eaten that hechsher without a second thought.
Joseph
If we are talking about the Flatbush Ave J incident from around 10 years ago, you are correct, it was not a chassidish hechsher.
Unfortunately I used to buy meat there, at the time I was told I didn’t need to kasher my keilim.gadol hadora
It’s really best to avoid commenting on things like this because few of us outside the industry really know. There is variation in everything, with numerous different hechsherim relying on nu,erous different standards and heterim. Ideally you find a Rav knowledgable in kashrus and ask them which hechsherim to rely on.
As to your comment on gold standard
I can think of at least two heterim that some chassidish hechsherim rely on that causes my litvisha poskim to avoid THOSES SPECIFIC hechsherim in regards to certain types of meat and bakeries that bear those hechsherim.
Now ordinarily I wouldn’t post something negative like this because it can be misconstrued, however since your comment could be taken to mean that we can always rely on chassidish hechsherim i decided to reply. Bottom line, learn about kashrus and rely on a good Rav.Joseph
My wife has numerous personal stories that go like this
“sorry, I took a car service here, but it looks like he left so can you drive”
or “my parents dropped me off, can you drive”
or “my father drove me here because I don’t have a license, do you mind if he drives us”
or “I know it’s pouring , but I don’t have a license, so can we take train?”
She drove her dates numerous times (and no, they didn’t get a second date)Joseph
Personally I think you should only be allowed to vote if you pay taxes
Imagine what this country would be like if people who worked actually controlled the money and not the other way aroundand Daas
I’m aware that you initially wrote commercial airline, which implies the need for a license which has an age restriction
I only wrote that a 3 year old can pilot a plane, which is true. There is no age restriction on piloting with a licensed pilot sitting next to you. Which I found extremely ironic and somewhat amusing when my 10 year old nephew came home from a chol hamoed trip to the airport having just flown a cirrus. I’m told he did very well.DovidBT
If you read any military books
you will see that there is no supervision 24/7
our armed forces have a proud tradition of drinking
Many, Many, SEALs, special forces, Marines etc spent their nights after training getting drunk. Many get in trouble, arrested etc.daas
I believe Joseph’s deductive reasoning is more logical
but, point of fact
actually there are no restrictions on a 3 year old piloting a planeMost of my friends were married by 23-24. One of my best friends got married at 26 (before me). Those couple of years till he got married, I used to hear every day about how it’s not right that when a good friend gets married they stop being friends and about how he would be different.
He was no different. Once he got married I started getting once a year shana tova emails.
But I don’t blame him. Life is insanely busy and a persons priorities need to change. I am divorced with two families and long hours to support both families. It is difficult to balance everything, and I don’t really maintain any real friendships outside of family (except for an occasional bbq once a year to “catch up” with old friends and of course my deep ties to the coffee room addicts).It is sad, and I probably should call people more often. But its difficult, there is only so much time and energy in a day. I’m not complaining, I’m just stating facts as I perceive them.
Does this excuse the fact that people don’t pick up the phone to call you? no. But to be honest, what my friend didn’t understand as a single guy but understood after marriage is that yeshiva friends are temporary friends. The deeper “friendships” are family and that becomes the priority.
HatzlochoDamoshe +1
My Mashgiach in EY once gave a fiery shmooze about the 4/5 ths of klal yisrael that didn’t make it out of mitzrayim. He argued that why should we assume that we are any different? If a person is attached to his gashmiyous why would he assume that he will be zocheh to see EY rebuilt? In shmonei esrei when you daven for yerushalyim do you have in mind that when you hear the shofer you will run out of your fancy home with the front door left wide open? or would you find it difficult to drop everything and run to the airport?
I enjoy gashmious like the next guy, but our struggle needs to be to not get attached to it.In Flatbush similar things go on from various tzedakahs
As a general rule I blacklist any tzedakah that organizes an event like this because it clearly is against the halacha. If they violate halacha why should I trust them with my money?
BUT
If the head of the tzedakah doesn’t officially organize it, don’t assume they had anything to do with it. People just want an excuse to do this, so they create a function to benefit a tzedakah that makes it “kosher by association”.
I personally once contacted a Rav whose name was on an ad for one of these functions, and asked him how on earth he can endorse something that is kneged halacha. He told me that he was furious that they used his name without permission.
Bottom line, I don’t believe that the Roshei Yeshiva of BMG had anything to do with this. People do what they want and lie all the time.
Kol hamisavel al yerushalyim will IYH be zoceh to see yerushalyim rebuilt.Anon1
Do you really believe the rishonim would be happy with the mixing of men and women in the army, as it is practiced today, even among “halachic” jews ?There is a story I heard in Rav Reismans shiur on more then one occasion.
It involves bachrum who came to complain to Rav Baruch ber about a skit made by haskalah students. Long story short, Its a jewish army and the questions begin “whoever just built a house leave” etc. In the end, only the chafetz chaim and rav chaim ozer are left. As the goyim approach the chafetz cahim says “you are the gadol hador you should be mechabid with the first shot” Rav Ozer responds “chas v’shalom, you are a kohen” and the curtain comes down as the goyim get really close.
rav Baruch responded, “whats to complain, that is how it will be!!”
thats a halachic army, one that runs on miracles and not koach vatzum yadiiac
you are preaching to the choir
but i am being realistic
As for support
I have known many people to solve this issue by repackaging their children’s money
If your daughter worked or has savings from any other place, there is no reason she needs to disclose this Simply have her give you the money and you give it back as “support”My idea would be to put the responsibility on the father rather then the mother.
In my experience, getting a mother to agree to a shidduch for her son is far more difficult then getting the father to agree.
You would think it would be the reverse. After all , I’m sure the moms didn’t appreciate the degree of difficulty in getting a date when they were young.
But the reality is different. It never ceases to boggle my mind how moms consistently put a girls “prettiness” at the top of the list, even when no one would apply that label to them.
I think men would be far more practical and “deal” oriented.I also think that the if the olam insisted on joint/equal support, it would go a long way to putting women on a more equal footing in the process. My understanding is that this is the way it is in the chassidish velt.
Dr Nat
Case involving a neighbor some years ago
5 year old fell down knocking out front baby tooth. Mom panicked called Hatzalah. 5 units responded on Shabbos. You tell me, should mom have called Hatzalah? I would say the answer is obvious. Yet these cases do happen.
And while we are at it
End of life cases, spouses having hospitals call on Shabbos to let children know that dad passed away.
Or asking the hospital to call and let grandma know that a baby is born.
People can be cavalier about Shabbos when emotions run high.
I don’t blame the doctors, hatzalah or the goy in the hospital picking up the phone. People need to take a minute and think about Shabbos. (unless of course that minute is the difference between life and death)PBA
I am not against Hatzalah, I think they are malachim.
I am against your simplifying the nuances.
You asserted that doctors who take call on Shabbos are doing so for non emergency situations, I pointed out the logical flaw in that reasoning and made the comparison to Hatzalah. As I have pointed out already, a lot of daily calls don’t fall into pikuach nefesh for hatzalah. (I do have a problem with people calling Hatzalah on Shabbos for non emergency, panic induced calls, feel free to call me out on that again Dr Nat)
Your response is that Hatzalah is always pikuach nefesh and doctors aren’t dealing with pikuach nefesh . Again, why do you assume that if an emergency service contacts a doctor on Shabbos that it isn’t actually an emergency?
You made assertions, that doctors treat Shabbos like any other day. When you were informed by numerous people that they don’t actually know any doctors who do that, you shrugged it off and said that those people don’t count. Yet your original assertion remains that, an assertion, hardly a fact.PBA
You claim Rav Akiva Eiger supports your view
My understanding of what I read is that a doctor has a middah of achvarius whereas hashem is always a rachamim
However, the doctor is following another gemarrah, the gemarrah that states that people born under a certain mazel with a natural tendency toward violence should become shochtim, doctors etc.
In other words, the person has no control over his ingrained middah, but does control how he uses it
I just find it interesting that you claim he is saying what you are saying.
I also find it interesting that you have a problem with doctors and not hatzalah for doing the same thing.
Please just come out and say the same points about hatzalah, or are you afraid of the backlash?PBA
Are they required to look for a shomer shabbos residency program?
As I said, I know numerous yeshivish doctors, some who even learn half a day and work the other half.
If you would like, I can take a survey and find out about the shaylos they asked prior to starting med school. But frankly, to imply (as it has been implied here) that there is something severely hashkafucally wrong with going to med school, is, I believe, incorrect.Dr Nat
I am assuming you are addressing my comment
I did not imply in my post that people shouldn’t call Hatzalah on shabbos when they are worried about a safek pikuach nefesh
My comment had to do with judging doctors more harshly than Hatzalah.
I want to know from all the commentators that took doctors to task, why are they not entitled to the same heterim as hatzalah?Ubiquitin
A good percentage of Hatzalah calls don’t fall into the category of saving lives.
There are numerous calls every day that hatzalah takes but don’t actually fall into the category of pikuach nefesh. People call Hatzalah in a panic without thinking if it’s really necessary on shabbos. A friend quit Hatzalah because he was tired of taking calls on shabbos that turned out to be nothing more then people wanting free rides to a hospital for non urgent care.
My original question stands, and especially to PBA, why are doctors worse for taking calls on a phone on shabbos (probably not a diorysah) then hatzoloh taking calls?I’m just curious
I have numerous friends who are doctors. I can think of several who I would classify as “yeshivish”. One never took a Shabbos call in his life, even in residency. The others took call on Shabbos, but never “dressed up and treated it like a regular day”. Today in private practice, all of these friends have made arrangements and do not carry phones on Shabbos.
Frum doctors are sometimes forced to take call on Shabbos, but why is this different than hatzalah? Generally being on call means taking emergency calls. Why are people on this site thinking that doctors just go into work on Shabbos as if it is a regular day?RebYid
The halacha is that if someone tells you that he is starving, you are obligated to give for food without checking. Short of that you are obligated to check.
That said, I agree. I give to many of the collectors in shul my spending money.
My Maasar goes to institutions that I not only check into, but also that I check into their fundraising practices to make sure that 1/3 isn’t going to some fundraising agency.Ahava
Nice story
But it’s not the Halacha
The halacha actually puts the obligation on you to make sure that the money goes to a legitimate source
I lived in Baltimore for years and the psak from the bais din was to not give anyone who came collecting without a note from the bais din. I have seen fraud on more then one occasion. Perhaps the real story is that if we arent careful with who we give our tzedakah money to not only does Hashem not count it as a mitzvah but He holds us responsible for wasting tzedakah moneyIn my own family I refuse to give antibiotics for viral infections.
But patients insist on it
Look up the percentages of sinus infections that are bacterial in cause, its a small percentage. Yet every patient “Thinks” you need antibiotics for it (or they read it on the internet, or their friends told them that) I caution and advise against it, but if after all my caution the patient insists I give the prescription because I don’t want to lose the business.
I read an article years ago that certain countries actually have strict rules where a doctor can lose their license if they give antibiotics except for under explicit conditions, and that resistance was less of an issue in those countries. Whether that still applies,I don’t know.
It’s the responsibility of both patient and doctor.
And frankly, the government is dropping the ball. Because they should institute strict policies. If you research the number of deaths in the US per year from antibiotic resistance, you will see that resistance is a major public health hazard.Personally I believe a civilized country should provide healthcare for it’s citizens
The problem is that government tends to mess up anything it touches
Case in point
In the news yesterday, David Greenfeld talking about a city renovation of a park bathroom that is now running into the price tag of $5000 per square foot, making that bathroom more expensive real estate then any apartment in NY.
To quote Ben Shapiro on the subject “Have you been to a DMV? do you really want the DMV making your healthcare decisions?”google kosher shaver
there is a website with specific recommendations based upon opinions of Rav David, Rav HeinemanSorry Avi
What happened with the langer case is that the top Rabbanut BD, what you can call the halachic supreme court, paskened and revisited the issue and paskened again that these people were mamzerim.
There was no other avenue of appeal. But there was public pressure, and Goren saw an opportunity . He convened a secret BD that had no real authority since the matter had already been ruled on repeatedly. No one knew who the BD was for years (it was sealed under top secret military clearance) and Goren waved a magic wand and gave the secular public what they wanted, a chief rabbi who is willing to bend Halacha to accommodate the desires of the people.
He had no halachic authority to do what he did. , but he was able to do it based on his position.ZD
Just referencing Rav Elyashiv doesn’t do justice to the universal outrage. Even the secular public who pushed for the appeal of the Langer case was stunned by the hypocrisy of overturning the psak. Lets keep in mind that Rav Elyashiv was sitting on a Rabbanut bais din . It was Rabbanut affiliated Rabbunim that ruled on the case, and that said the case couldn’t be overturned. It was Goren that then convened a private bais din that hid behind secrecy that supposedly overturned the case on grounds that had ben rejected numerous times before by the Rabbanut BD. He literally ran for office of chief Rabbi on a platform of “vote for me, I will overturn the Langer case.AviK
If this reference you keep mentioning is the infamous Langer case, then you could not be more wrong.
In regards to the Langer case, every major rosh hayehiva of the time signed kol koreh’s denouncing Goren and going as far as stripping him of the ability to pasken. Even Rav Moshe put his name on these kol korehs which were published in major jewish papers the time.
The autobiography’s of Rav Ovadiah and Rav Elyashiv have entire chapters dedicated to this halachic travestyAnd as I’ve repeatedly pointed out the LH here calls into question the jewishness of children.
The same way that you aren’t even allowed to talk about a get after it’s given, to prevent questioning of future children, I would assume the same inyan applies here.R4
I don’t know if we are allowed to reference other sites
but google ” Dov Fischer cross currents thoughts on the conversion mess” for a better understanding of the specific issues of geyrus/conversions and more specifics about our case under discussion
Since I know no one will call the esteemed Rav I mentioned above to ask the shayla, perhaps this quote from Rav Dov Fischer (who served on the RCA executive committee) will cause some pause in the lashon hara
“As facts actually have it, Ms. Trump was converted under the GPS rubric. There is no question regarding her conversion. She was converted with the full institutional imprimatur. ”
google the full articleI’m still waiting for the mods to allow my post with a link to an article talking about our case being done in a GPS bais din. The article, posted on an esteemed jewish hashkafa site written by an esteemed MO Rabbi states unequivocally that the geyrus was kosher and done in a GPS bais din.
The info is out there for anyone who cares to lookJoseph
There are specific heiterim involved here (I believe Rav Moshe discusses this heter, that better they do something b’heter then continue to do it b’avera)
And all agree he wasn’t fully frum to begin with. That doesn’t change her yearning to be a frum ger. She has no chiyuv to force her husband to be frum. As I stated before many couples have this issue, especially in EY with the vast kiruv movement.
But I really don’t understand your continued effort to fight a lost cause. Your definitions and understanding of geyrus will not supersede a Rabbanite recognized US bais din.Sorry Joseph
You are way off base
I know some of the cream of the YU crop. Mrs Kushner had personal interviews with Rav Schachter.
Before spreading false news, why not call Rav Schachter and ask him if he considers the children jewish.There are many couples were one spouse is more frum than the other.
I’m my own family I had a very similar situation to the kushners. I had a non frum cousin dating a goy who became serious about Judaism, she converted and let my cousin know what her standards are. He is now In kollel.
She was always known to be more serious than him .
The bottom line is that she was converted by a very respectable bais din. All batei dinim try to assess the likelihood of a convert staying frum in the future. She was assessed as being very serious. She passed all the questions before and after her conversion. Her kids were certified Jewish by some very chashuva people in the know. And for armchair rabbis to call her kids Jewishness into question is a grievous error.Joseph
It is well known that Yael was not converted by the rabbi in question
He referred her to the BDA who converted her
He did so because he recognized she would pass their more stringent standards
For all intents and purposes she was converted by some very acceptable rabbanim and her conversion would be (presumably)recognized by the Rabbanut in EY because they accept BDA GPS geyrimUbi
You don’t ask sheylos out of context
And you are flat out wrong
The easiest thing to defend is their being flown on shabbos
first , what is the issur d’orysa on flying on shabbos?
Second, they were discussing matters of state that almost certainly involved Jewish issues and Rav Shlomo zalmen has already ruled on this
They don’t have to follow your orthodox viewpoint. They are also in a unique position that gives them unique heterim.R4 and others
I’m not “bending over backwards” to defend them
What I am actually doing is bending over backwards to defend their children
Who are considered Jewish by some very chashuva people in YU
All the armchair rabbis who are calling into question the Jewishness of her children (by implying Yael is not Jewish) are not only contradicting the psak of the bais din but also committing a grievous error
I would like to suggest that before committing such an averah, one should perhaps call the bais din and ask if they consider the children jewishThey don’t drive on Shabbos, they get driven (there is a difference)
And were is the proof they eat treif?
As for going to churches, and flying on Shabbos etc. they (through the rabbis they consult) probably have given them heterim since they are conducting matters of state.
Rav Shlomo Zalmen is on record for allowing MK’s to call him on Shabbos when conducting matters of state.
We aren’t talking about charedim here. If the very modern orthodox rabbis with which they consult allow these things, then they re following psak. You may not agree with the psak, but they are following their chiyuv to follow a rabbi.
And they are constantly on record as having discussed things with rabbis.
Is it her fault that the rabbi who sponsored her geyris told her that there is nothing wrong with her manner of dress? (and he did, and he told her bais din that he did) As far as she is concerned she is good girl and those of us in Brooklyn are just machmir.ZD and others
I just googled (as you suggested) the Kushners eating habits
And though they eat in non kosher restaurants they are on record as eating salads etc
And considering the money they have, maybe they bring their own mashgiach and plates.
I just don’t understand the hate. Granted they might not be frum enough for an Agudah, but were is the proof of open transgression?