Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
And has been done.
When was it and when is the next? If the idea needs more manpower or tweaking, we can certainly find able manpower and able tweakers.
You know, this is really pathetic.
Even NASI sympathizers, and everyone else, in their heart of hearts, know that this wont anywhere near solve the issue of the growing numbers of unmarried older single girls, no matter how many times they repost the same rhetoric. So let them gezunterheit do their best with that, Kol Hakavod to whoever wishes to join, but it would be comforting to hear of other concrete developments implemented alongside the new outrageously costly initiative.
Perhaps it’s time for Rabbonim to consider that (please forgive me for repeating a post from another thread, but I strongly feel we need to do something fast) I think we’re in a Sakana matzav already and only Gedolim can advise, perhaps by organizing and providing the “Who What When and Where” for older singles to meet on their own, or semi supervised, with the same interest and commitment as when planning Siumei Shas. It can be done.
Introducing such a concept has potential for being very effective. What can I say? More ideas, more potential for results, more weddings, more Jewish children.
I think we’re in a Sakana matzav already (see below) and only Gedolim can advise, perhaps allowing and enabling by organizing and providing the “Who What When and Where” for older singles to meet on their own, or semi supervised, with the same interest and commitment as when planning Siumei Shas. It can be done.
I see some frustrated older single girls going towards what they think are greener pastures, and we dont want that. Its heartbreaking for all.
yahud, was this thread not supposed to be for “mothers of girls”, as apposed to “ppl on NASI’s payroll”
I agree. Perhaps we ought to start a thread:
Chizzuk and tips for parents of girls who dont want to join NASI’s new initiative, and dont want to chew it over and over and over ad nauseum or even be reminded of it once.
rc,
why dont we open a forum right here on YWN as anonymous as possible, and make shidduchim.
I love that idea!!! Here on YW or anywhere else. Starting as a free service in the beginning and then if/when successful charging a small fee. Huge successes often start with dreams that to many seem impossible to ever take off.
has anyone other than the NASI Project done anything in a practical sense to alleviate the situation??? (question)
Gateways, in all fairness. (answer)
A nechtiger tug!
I know of a number of amazing girls who made the trip from far distances to meet Gateways Shadchanim, got interviewed, and have never been called back by them with as much as one name.
“How about let’s wait and see and allow the results to speak for themselves.”
Surely, but Im worried that the people within might claim successes not necessarily theirs, to save face (as I mentioned I know to be the case with another Shidduch organization, as told to me by an insider), and will suck in new people, while the old withdraw their funds, over and over. Sort of like Madoff…
AZ, oops, batting 1000. I make mistakes and admit them.
AZ, have you ever admitted that you or anyone else of importance at NASI, made a mistake leading to consequence in regard to anything dealing with Shidduchim and NASI? If not, you’re all batting 100, l’havdil like G-d. Pretty impressive.
oomis1105,
It is amazing to me that anyone has a problem understanding how the older girls must negatively feel as a result of this initiative.
Im with you BIGTIME oomis!!!! Lots more girls crying into their pillows and ch”v considering going OTD, lo aleinu. And you can almost not blame them. Davening, davening, and davening, trying to get into the best schools for degrees, looking their best, going everywhere to meet the right connections for Shidduchim, studying their hardest, then working their hardest, and now emptying their bankbooks for prepayment too? I wish I had the answer, but NASI goofed bigtime with this attempt, syphoning whatever self respect and money the girls have left.
Lo’mich Oop (as they say in French)!
AZ, this will by no means increase the number of boys!!!! The only thing thats rising is the Shadchanim’s pay. The guys who are red to way younger girls, will still be marrying them, with Nasi’s blessing or without. There will still be the same number of girls left without guys, at the end of the day. Its at best a band-aid for a hemmorhage.
I havent the faintest idea what the solution is, but it sure aint this. It’s like chocolate, it temporarily makes people feel good, depositing their money for what will be in most cases false hope.
DY,
Is it more humiliating to put out money and get attention, or to not put out money but not get attention?
By the time a girl is considered an “older girl”, she’s working on Bitachon mode, and yes, it’s more humiliating to put out money and get this kind of attention. There’s a multitude of levels of Hishtadlus and this paying/begging for attention involves lowering themselves to the point of humiliation and depression.
AZ,
What NASI did do is a far more cost effectvie and has produced far better results and that is work with numeroud communities to compensate shadchanim (not just a special ten) set up dates for older girls…..
That wasnt humiliating to the older girls.
Good, smart, fine, accomplished older girls having to put out big big big bucks to get Shadchanim’s attention, is humiliating to the older girls.
AZ, I sense your good intentions, but if Nasi would have chosen to go the route of hiring 10 f/t Shadchanim financed by the same people who have enough money for Hilton weddings, and these Shadchanim would have been busy as bees, feverishly working under supervisors, focusing on older singles, with no money put out by singles or their parents, I think more people would have been thrilled. One day….
And by the way, despite the financial glitch we’re in, there are still inzere people making weddings in the Hilton. Check out Youtube! (sorry for going off on a tangent) So, there are people TODAY who could very well afford to finance something along those lines.
Halevei……
AZ,
My apologies for bursting anyones buble.
Should the program flop, there should be apologies for bursting peoples bank accounts, forget bubbles.
Time will tell. We’ll know in a year or two. If people dont feel they’ve gotten the results they were looking for, they’ll remove the money themselves and will become much bigger Naysayers than anyone in the CR who didnt invest.
Unless NASI yields results or can offer a good interest rate and FDIC insurance.
Ive been told by an insider of a Shidduch organization which is not doing well and desperately looking to publicize successes, that they ask people they know well whose children get engaged outside of the organization, if they can publicize the Shidduch as one of their successes. Barf.
You’re implying that the public perception of our rabbonim and R”Y is that they are hypocritical
Narishkeiten. For every Rov who is undersigned, there are hundreds who arent. As with almost every issue that doesnt involve a clear Mitzvah D’Oraisa, many opinions exist.
AZ, is joining NA$I’s new initiative, a clear Mitzvah D’Oraisa?
yoelyfromwilli, I love that!
BUT the Litvish Kollel guys have it too good- commitment of years of support by a wife and inlaws, and the pick of a wife from hundreds of beautiful wealthy professional girls. Guys are in no rush to get married, they get it all when theyre 29+ as well.
Hashem Yerachem on the girls. With all this suffering, theyre urged to pay loads of money to get special attention of Shadchanim, so that they can grab a chair in Musical Chairs for themselves, as if they are undesirables, who otherwise have a low likelihood of marrying.
I was a great fan of NASI until this, as were many others.
There were always Naysayers, but it seems that newly shocked and horrified Naysayers are growing in numbers and outrage since NASI came up with this new initiative.
AZ,
Einstein:
Insanity: doing the same thing again and again and expecting different results.
OK, I’m trying a Chiddush for a cold. Im sticking vitamins up my nostrils, and I dont feel any better. My nose is sore, thats the only change so far.
I apologize if you didn’t mean anything negative about the signators.
DY, B”H, Thanks! I have the highest regard for the undersigned. Just because they give the Bracha for something, doesnt automatically mean theyd do it for themselves.
If under the same circumstances, these rabbonim and R”Y wouldn’t join, as you imply, it would be hypocritical.
Thats a big if. Two different people are never in the same circumstance. I think the undersigned see some value in it for some, but arent insisting people pay up, or saying that this has any kind of guarantee. Theyre in no way saying those who dont pay up are neglecting their kids or themselves, in any way, or erring in judgment.
If you have the money and you’re desperate and you want to try, try, is what it sounds like to me.
What right do you have to accuse them of hypocrisy without a shred of evidence?
Gut Voch! What a way to start your week!
What right do you have to accuse anyone of accusing the undersigned of hypocrisy????
I have friends and acquaintances who are married to individuals of great Yichus, the equivalent of those on the list, or possibly higher, I hesitate to judge.
If someone approaches them for approval of a project, it doesnt mean that they’ll neccessarily invest in that project themselves. They might see some value in it for some, but wouldnt neccessarily have set it up exactly that way, and wouldnt neccessarily encourage their own flesh and blood to be involved or commited to the tune neccessary with Nasi fine print.
You can see value in something for some and yet hesitate to be involved yourself.
Theyre certainly NOT forcing parents or older girls to pay up, or making any predictions for the effectiveness.
Feel free to call that hypocrisy. Revealing of your Ayin Tov.
AZ,
Thanks for letting us know that ONE Rov is scraping up money to help with this initiative.
Im still wondering if ONE of the undersigned have SIGNED UP their own daughters or granddaughters and committed their own hard earned $G$E$L$T$. The huge list of undersigned no doubtedly have HUNDREDS of daughters and granddaughters in Shidduchim!!!!
Through networking I will find out sooner or later.
Giving approval for others is one thing, putting out thousands personally is another.
AZ!
I said: “AZ, I like the old fashioned way…”
You said: Einstein: Definition of insanity: Doing the same thing again and again and expecting different results.
I say: Good, lets all learn to walk on our hands and put food up our nostrils. Perhaps we’ll become healthier.
Similarly, put big money in escrow, so that maybe…. you’ll get more yeses and maybe they will lead to a Shidduch…. maybe…
Id STILL like to know if even ONE of the undersigned Rabbonim or their daughters or granddaughters plan to fork over many thousands to be on a list. Giving approval is one thing, putting out thousands is another.
Ferd, 15 hours? Wow, thats almost 15 years. Unbelievable.
Anyhow, whodunit?
Unfortunately, and unless, shadchanim (or anyone else) are willing to dangle a similar carrot in front of boys to actually say “yes” to girls, nobody will gain, except the bank where all the funds are being held.
Brilliantly put!
The younger the better. If you think its difficult when she’s young, it gets harder and harder, for many reasons. Sometimes girls do excellent Shidduchim when they’re older, but thats not the norm.
Also imparting to our boys and girls that they wont be young forever. Often young people feel that theres no urgency to get married when something good comes along, because good offers will come along later too. Not always.
oomis, in the crowds where there is mixed socialization, there are just as many, if not more, older singles.
AZ, I like the old fashioned way:
Try for everyone equally (extra effort, the older a girl gets)
Daven that Shadchanim are inspired so they’ll produce long lasting successful results and
Daven that the wealthy arent cheap, and
Daven that everyone else pay going rate.
Halevei Gedolim can figure out the solution to the many guys I deal with, whose feet are in Shidduchim BUT their hearts and minds arent (theyre looking for everything in one) and depress the girls they look into and then either dismiss or date unfruitfully. Nothing any Shadchan is offered will change that. Un-Merry go round dating.
oomis, I love it!!!!!
But perhaps use the criteria of number of dates, because one can work tirelessly for months and not make one successful Shidduch. Thats in G-d’s hands.
Id like to know if even ONE of the undersigned’s daughters plan to fork over many thousands to be on a list.
If some ywcr members aren’t happy so be it…
If some ywcr members aren’t happy that other ywcr members aren’t happy so be it…
Is every Gadol in existence impressed with this plan, or even the majority of Gedolim in existence?
So you’ve come up with a list of Gedolim who ARE impressed. Nice.
Medium: To each their own….. as the saying goes, everyone is untitled to their own opinion, only the Palestinians (it seems) are entitled to their own set of facts…
Sounds like someone here needs a chill pill.
AZ, at the moment, unless something major changes, I wouldnt touch the list, because everyone I know who has girls in Shidduchim is disgusted by the concept.
Are we allowed to know how many girls signed up?