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May I add Sawyouatsinai.com to the list, where Ive heard Shidduchim are popping, and becoming more popular by the day?
Any time new Yeshivish/Modern Yeshivish singles sign on, they get special attention from the Shadchanim who gear themselves towards those members, and constantly look out for newly joined members.
Those who dont want their profiles made public to all Matchmakers, can choose to be private members of their Shadchan.
Theyre approaching 800 successful Shidduchim across the world, accomplished in a few years.
Devoted Shadchanim and costs peanuts.
Hello…… Is his house kosher? Does he eat in non-Kosher restaurants? He hasnt clarified, I doubt by accident. I dont care what his personal health concerns are. What a sales pitch to idiots!
So that’s that.
oc, “MSS: I’m seeking a heavy wife.
How many candidates can you send my way”?
Many more than you need, unfortunately.
yekke2:
“Guys – i think you’ve all got the wrong end of the stick. Bar Shatya is making a point completely the opposite – how people don’t marry attractive wives because they are scared they will be labelled trophy wives, and prefer the opposite kind”.
Funnyyyyy. Very rare. I havent heard one guy tell me or any other Shadchan that they want a heavy or unattractive wife.
“Azoi vi es goyisht zich azoi yiddisht zich”
Monkey see, monkey do.
Many among us vie for the ~supposed~ good life, chock full of eye candy, coupled with all the comforts of life, all being portrayed as the recipe for happiness, self worth and social success in secular media.
Its a tremendous Kiddush Hashem, but
If shed rather get married after graduation, and focus less on dating and more on her studies, she will very likely become an older single after she graduates. Its unbelievable how many single frum female doctors and dentists there are.
Those who go to school while being married, no doubt have a hard time balancing school, marriage, pregnancies, children.
BTguy, “And he may not totally be at fault”
We ALL have our challenges, big and small. If you want to meet with people who have no challenges, visit your local cemetery.
Kol Haolam Kulo Gesher Tzar Meod….
Whatever challenges hes facing, others have gone thorough those and worse and stayed stable.
He was a role model and source of pride for many impressionable, young, and not so young BT’s and FFBs. For him to be swinging like a pendulum is definitely not having the right effect on their spirituality, Im sure, and he is very well aware of that!
Oh, you mean Matisyahu S.L.A.P. ?
Swings
Like
A
Pendulum
;-(
“He’s still single today in his 40’s; he says he never went out with anyone he was attracted to”.
In the words of a highly regarded Shadchan I know who has made well over 100 Shiduchim- “Any guy who has been going out steadily for a year or two and cant find a girl hes attracted to, hes got issues which need attending to” (which very well fits in the case you describe). She said this applies to guys who have many more opportunities than girls. I think if no girls are attracted to him, that signals an issue as well. Of course we can now wave the Bashert issue, where I answer its Bashert he should have an issue.
This was all written two years ago? Nothing changed.
Often while reading some of the threads here I feel like Im living on a diffrent planet. This is one such scenario.
These days, as it has been for a long time now, Shadchanim cant sell a girl who is over a size 8. Theyd love to! A Shadchans goal is to make Shidduchim period, whether the girl is size 0 or 22. Whether you want to admit it or not, if you speak to guys, one of the first things they say they want is a slim girl. Their idea of slim is the skinny cutie pie type girls who dont come anywhere near a size ten, whether you like it or not. If a Shadchan heaven forbid makes a girl out to be thinner than she is, the guy will never trust that Shadchan again, and will never come back to take up another one of their suggestions, no matter how great the girl is otherwise.
Give up blaming mothers, give up blaming Shadchanim. Theyre just the messengers trying to bring the guys what they want.
Whether Yeshiva educated guys should be focusing on body shape and size to this extent, thats a different issue, better taken up by Roshei Yeshivas. Possibly it already has been taken up by R”Y, but with little or no success. It is what it is.
ari-free
“Once it is accepted that unfiltered internet will result in a severe liability for shidduchim, the issue will quickly resolve itself”
Please explain how the public will know whats done privately.
In todays climate of serious difficulties with finding Shidduchim, 749 Shidduchim were made on Sawyouatsinai, in the last few years, totally on the Internet.
Internet is like fire. It can be utilized for both very positive and very negative goals.
eman The time has come for the Rabbonim to close your organization down.
If Shidduchim arent made, the proof of the pudding, “the initiative” will die a natural death, iyH.
Poor girls will then cry a little less.
Anyone have any favorites to offer?
I firmly believe this thread was meant to be a post Purim satire, like the single socks one, to make us gag with laughter, after the recent news stories.
Im still waiting for anyone with a sense of right and wrong to stand up to the many world famous “Jewish” organizations, currently “helping” OTD individuals who bash frum Jews. Rather strange.
AYEKA??????
I am shocked by this thread.
With whats been in the news lately, Chassidish people leaving it ALL behind- No Shabbos, No Kashrus, NOTHING, totally choosing to assimilate, calling anyone frum backward cult-members and worse, with the support of world famous Jewish organizations, using donations from people who dont realize what kind of organizations their money is going to, where they help “frei” out Chassidim….
I dont hear any outcry about these enabling organizations.
And here we’re judging and analyzing and saddened by those who have chosen to be MO, and def keep Shabbos and Kosher?
OMG.
With fear of provoking AZ into a rampage, heres my opinion:
Uniquely devoted $hadchanim, looking for uniquely high earning$, those who Nasi attracts, who see that their efforts dont earn them money unless a Shidduch materializes, might tire of such unique devotion after the newness of the program wears off.
Unique devotion doesnt neccessarily lead to the re$ults these $hadchanim seek. Similarly, unique devotion by top doctors doesnt mean better outcomes for very difficult patients, suffering from hard to cure ailments.
No harm in trying though. Like apricot kernels for cancer, l”a, in Mexico. Sometimes it works.
s2021: “Honking is rude and it doesnt mean ur a *beep* it just means they dont have very good middos”.
Absolutely true.
Now if someone has to pass because someone is laboring in the back seat, thats different. Thats usually not the case. Although you wouldnt know by the chorus of beeping in BP- thats how it got its name- BP.
So what’ll be with us CR addicts? Will the CR be banned?
Im sure Ill be told off for this, but those who use physical force to accomplish their goals, are, I suspect, generally from the non-working population. Predominantly the fringe among the “learning population” who arent really learning that seriously and need to accomplish something for credit of some kind.
If you dont look/dress Chassidish or close, get ready to get “eyes” staring at you in BP.
In Flatbush everything goes.
Health: Like +100!
Nothing to fear.
Lonely socks, no more!
Contact Lucy (of I Love Lucy fame) and for the right price their Matchmakers will work tirelessly on your behalf. Socks, shoes, anything that has to be matched, as long as youre ready to put the money down in advance. Single-socks-back guarantee.
With much written in the past attesting to the future success of this initiative, asking you to put down money in the present.
You owe it to your lonely socks.
Trust, my friend!
avhaben:
” will not stop mixing in irrelevant comparisons to abusers”.
Irrelevant, my foot!
Those who have any connection to mental health professionals dealing with OTDers, say that OTD guys are more often than not victims of molestation, and make up the bulk of the OTD movers and shakers in that despicable organization where they gather.
The molesters almost bred the OTD movement! They are DF’s company in hate of the Frum community, and spurred her and others on to the OTD movement.
In Denial (De Nile)….or overdrunk in Purim…
No one has sullied the Orthodox community’s reputation, as much as the ill molesters and possibly even worse, those who are “healthy”??? who protect them and cover for them.
If theres one thing that would unify all Jews- OTDers, the Charedi public, and everyone in between, is setting these people on fire and watching in unity as they writhe in pain. If not the above, because our government wouldnt allow it, at least all Jews of all backgrounds insisting with one voice that perps and those who covered for them should rot in prison with no hope of release.
If we continue to look away their sins, our holiness is full of holes, and we deserve all the hate the OTDers throw our way.
Josh31: For all our disputes with ZeesKite, I am convinced that she has been thru Shas at least once, and probably twice. Her knowledge is not based upon tidbits that can be picked up on the internet. And based upon another posting in YWN, her knowledge is not just in the area of “Fire & Brimstone”.
Are you suggesting that perhaps “she” is not a she?
Josh31
ZeesKite, your husband needs to put his Gemaras and Shulchan Aruch under lock and key. You know more “Fire & Brimstone” concepts from the Gemara / poskim than those who have been learning in Yeshiva for a decade. If you were a guy, you would sail thru the Smicha exam when it comes to the laws of Neidui, Mumrim and Apikorsim.
On the other hand, it is too late to lock them up as you have probably committed all the relevant passages to memory.
Oh boy! I vote this best post of the year!
Thanks for the Purim gift!
msseeker, “DF was abused when she was about 12”
And I should believe this because…?
My sentiments exactly!
If she had the goods on anyone, she wouldnt hesitate to mention by name or at least offer identifying details. She offered all inhabitants on the Planet Earth details of her and her husband’s private life (the husband part, which her son will hate her for one day). She claims to be shy, in an interview. Suuuuure.
Naysberg, she is much worse than an abuser
Even when you hear MANY Gedolim and psychologists clearly saying that the bulk of OTD and suicidal males, are a result of such abuse in school by supposed “role models” and the protectors who allow them to continue?
Personally, I am embarassed having any commonality with those who openly speak of hate for an author of a book, more than theyre willing to publicly hate those who have, in real life, been proven to have seriously hurt innocent victims and those who have protected and covered for the perps, as well, many of whom (perps and cover-uppers), continuing to masquerade as role models in our community.
josh31, The one difficult part was the shaving the head at the end of the Nezirus. Satmar women have to do this every month.
OTOH most Satmar women arent expected to have large families AND work to support them, Litvish women are.
Personally, Id rather shave and have my better half bring in all the dough and not have half the difficult time marrying off daughters and go with the 50/50 shared expenses and not support children til Moshiach comes.
There are advantages and disadvantages in all communities.
sushe With DF she is standing up in public and making all her statements loud and clear, directly and unambiguously.
So do child molesters and those who protect them and allow them to continue to harm. They spell out clearly, whether they mouth it or not, by their actions, that they dont give one hoot about the Torah’s teachings to prevent harm to others, especially innocents, as long as they are continuously gratified, and for those who protect the molesters, as long as they are left alone to play dumb.
Her fame and book’s popularity will die down, the other damage lives forever.
ZK, It seems like you’re all missing the main point.
Im uncomfortable with know it alls, when theyre not Rabbinical authorities, quoting Psukim to back their point as the only way.
Please enlighten us and clarify if you, personally, hate child molesters and those who protect them, less, more or equally to your hatred of DF, and where in the Torah we are instructed to feel the way you do, comparatively, and please name which Rabbinical authority you’ve consulted on this.
soliek, that doesnt make them frum. so he says, what makes someone frum then? and i say…keeping the torah…
+10 Like!
She’s slapping me (big-time), I’m slapping back.
ZK, have you slapped with equal vengeance, when attacked by Frum Fakers who molested our innocents of innocents, and turned them into DF’s, and caused upheaval in homes throughout our community, and have you slapped with equal vengeance those who knowingly covered for them and mercilessly allowed them to continue as if nothing happened or will continue to happen? If you didnt, perhaps you should start now.
They were at least equally damaging, whether they wear our begadim, eat Kosher and walk the walk and talk the talk, or not.
Whoever thinks that the bad press we get from Deborah Feldman’s book, marketed as a personal memoir, even though it paints a picture of an entire community, is anywhere as harmful as the bad press, hatred and mockery frum people get when one sees photos of “very religious” Jews in their easily identifiable dress, with ugly news stories beside the photos, and there have been an assortment of them in recent years, is smoking something. Theyre hopelessly mistaken. They can talk til theyre blue in the face!
Even if theyre a small minority.
Especially when theres suspicion of other religious people covering for them.
Health I hope your hatred to Frum fakers is a least as great as your hatred toward this lady!
Im with you on that 100%! At least we can keep our kids, the innocents of innocents, away from people like DF. The people described above who have hurt the innocents of innocents, and manufactured in bulk male DF’s are way way way more despicable, and we cant keep our kids away from them because were unaware! The products are all in that despicable organization, plotting against the frum population. Why? Because of the Frum Fakers some protected, who were allowed to continue to give in to their disgusting impulses!!!!
Shame on those who protect and even partially defend as better than DF, those who are the manufacturers of DF type people.
Big Deal, I think I read that she felt she has no reason to be religious because in her mind G-d doesnt care whether we observe Judaism in the way she was taught, or any form thereof.
big deal: From the conversations I had with her, I don’t think this was any means an escape for her, although she wants to portray it as such to gain sympathy, I think that this was her goal from the get go.
What Id like to know is what made her so despise the frum life, especially if according to you this was long in the making? She had an opportunity to live a totally different, independent life, away from her relatives who she didnt like and she could have been more modern, instead of totally not frum. I think her husband would not have fought her on that. Some say she might not have known theres a middle path. I cant believe that she didnt see that there is, once she was living in Monsey. Monsey has all kinds. Why was even the middle path despicable to her?
Some frum people who are in big trouble and daven again and again to Hashem for salvation, with all their heart and instead of things improving, they get worse, sometimes lose faith. Was that part of what made her go away fron frumkeit, at some point? Sometime in the past she was genuinely frum from the heart. She wasnt born anti-frum.
At the end of the day, she felt that frumkeit sickens her, to any degree, obviously. She didnt do it because she knew shed be able to make money writing her book. She had no way to know that in advance.
She very much despises frumkeit, in any shape or form. Why?
soliek, I read every word and Im speechless. And thats rare.
Which issue of Ami has your article? Can I access it online anywhere?
May you go from strength to strength.
In my eyes, you are Gadol material.
I find it hard to stomach complimentary comments about DF.
She wouldnt wince for a second if ch”v all Orthodox and Chassidic guys and girls became just like her. Shed be thrilled about the new company of equally immoral individuals all happy to toss religious observance out the window and gloat about it and spread their unholy gospel universally.
I understand pitying her, but not complimenting her in any way, because of her behavior.
000646:
You see; you have to forgive me but so far the only people I have caught lying are the people calling HER a liar!
Yes make-up, no make-up, yes restaurants, no restaurants, yes being out after dark, no being out after dark, etc,
More importantly, in summary, does she bring honor upon our religion and those who observe it, or shame?
Is our religion and those who observe it, more worthy of honor or shame?
In your eyes: What has she tried to accomplish with her book, and what has she successfully accomplished with her book? What was her primary goal? What are the benefits of the book? Are there any down sides?
J18 She. Should. Be. Careful.
Shes very careful. About making money. At any cost.
Feif:
Supposedly her book contains the details of how the father killed the son, which authorities would have had in their files. It seems the authorities have different details on what they saw. Also this involved an emotionally challenged 19 year old and not a normal 13 year old like she said. People in Kiryas Yoel were shocked because there exists cover ups of different kinds, but theyre NOT known for covering up murder.