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rebbitzen,
depending on your frame, you may be a little overweight (4#) or a lot overweight (30#). Ideal weight for a medium women at 5’2″ is about 120. In any event, you should see you doctor to know.
Just because one may not look overweight does not mean that there are not health problem associated with being overweight. In other words, looks may be deceiving and so is flattery. See an honest doctor.
You want to find out about the person, so ask questions that tell you about their thinking, needs, wants, and goals. For example:
1) Schooling – what did they like or dislike about it, favorite teachers, favorite subjects, etc What might you like to study in the future?
2) Talk about shopping – how often do they go, what do they get, what are they saving for, are the a compulsive shopper, etc
3) What shul do they go to? How do they like the davening? How’s the kiddush? What kind of people go there (careful with this as it may lead to L”H)?
4) Hobbies and leisure – recent vacations? where would you like to go? What kind of hobbies? Play sports or exercise? Web usage? Do you use the CR?
Use some conversation killers like:
– After they say something (but not a joke) say, “Was that the punch line? Because I don’t get it.”
– After they start talking to you, interrupt and change the subject by asking them if they heard of thigmotropism or use another obscure long word.
– Don’t give eye contact.
– One word monotone answers.
– When you walk in, don’t say hello. If they say hello, then lightly wave to them without any eye contact.
I’m sure you can think of more or look some up online.
After a few of their awkward attempts, they should realize that it’s not worth conversing with you.
minols,
Let me perfectly honest with you. If women are not dressed with tsniut, it can make it much harder for us men to concentrate on our learning, even well after the fact.
guy-ocho,
you are sick !
MODS, why are you letting that go through
oops. Didn’t realize what he meant.
observanteen,
Refua Shelaimah.
I’m surprised and quite impressed that you know who is Thomas Sowell. I don’t think that he would run for office. But if he did, I’d vote for him too.
I think that the elections are mostly a popularity contest, with the most likable guy winning. Each side has 40% locked away, with the middle 20% determining who wins. If the republicans want to win, they need to put forward a young, healthy looking candidate that can speak well and inspire. That was not McCain, nor Bob Dole.
ABO – anybody but O’bummer
PBA,
What happened in you yeshiva does not seem to happen now. Furthermore, many kids are in fact roaming around drunk. Reality changed, now we have to deal with it.
There is nothing worse than drunkenness, and the Shulhan Aruch agrees with that. Actually it’s in the Beit Yosef (O”C 695 – same author as the Shulhan Aruch) that says that there is no sin worse than drunkenness and it’s completely forbidden to get drunk. The B”Y says that “Livsumei” does not mean drunk, but to drink a little more than usual.
You can’t interpret the Shulchan Aruch any better than what the author himself explains.
Twisted,
To make pure (no wheat) oat bread, I have used baking soda/powder with a batter. It comes out like bread (some call this a quick bread).
I googled “barley bread recipe”. According to what I found, you can’t make a regular loaf of bread from barley either. Every barley bread recipe that I saw, at least pure barley bread – w/o other flours, also calls for baking soda/powder.
So then, would you now consider barley not one of the 5 grains?
I never hear that it’s an Issur miDeOryta. If I remember correctly, the Kuzari says that one cannot claim H’ as their own. That is one can say “Oh G-d”, without the word “my”. Only a prophet can claim some type of exclusivity due to a very close relationship.
“Our” charliehall claims to be a PhD at Einstein Med. He seems to be rather educated. He has claimed to not shave. Can I say he is 100% the same person? No, but the circumstantial evidence is strong, so I’m satisfied.
If you really want to find out, I guess you can email or call. Dr Hall’s contact information at Einstein is available if you search the web (he has mentioned that a while ago).
NoNonsense,
Thanks for the Halachic advice. I also find that wrapping in foil and then wrapping in plastic helps it to stay fresh. Furthermore, the we use the foil cover when we warm it.
This could go good or bad, or really bad.
Pray for mercy.
What do you believe are the 5 grains? And when do you beleive the mix-up occurred?
Dr Hall,
There are some videos published by YU.
Go to youtube and search on “charles hall yeshiva”
That might stimulate your memory 🙂
twisted,
I think that the obligation for separating challah, and consequently the bracha, start at the kneading.
I bake first then freeze. If you freeze dough, the yeast may die and it won’t rise, unless you use a lot of yeast (I don’t).
To warm up a frozen Challah, take it out a couple hours before. On Friday evening, we put in the warm oven, which we turn off right before Shabbat. In the morning, I take it out when I wake and put it on the cholent pot. Even w/o the cholent pot, it has about 4 hours to get to room temp, which is sufficient unless it’s really large (4+ cups – and even so it’ll still be thawed, maybe a little cold in the middle).
What kind of pan are you lining with parchment paper?
If you mean a loaf pan this is what I do. I use a rectangular piece of parchment paper that fits the bottom of the loaf pan. I grease the sides. If the grease does not work, I use a knife to remove the bread from the sides. You can’t reach the bottom with a knife, so I use the parchment paper.
As the CR rules prohibit showing who people are, I will not post a link. But you can easily google Dr Hall and find some rather informative videos on youtube.
SJSinNYC said “Women generally dress for other women. “
Yes, but the men are also looking (sometimes too much).
Men may not understand a woman’s Y”H for looking good, but women don’t understand a man’s Y”H in regard to tsniut.
Well, chayav, now that you joined the discussion, can you answer the question?
One of my biggest turn offs – Bad table manners
Shimon and Dina, I think. According to the Midrash, Shaul ben haCanaanit came from that union, so did Osnat, Yosef’s wife. Shaul became Zimri (Parashiot Balak and Pinhus).
You did the right thing. Like hudi said above, their apology may have been a ploy to get your attention. Maybe it wasn’t. In any event, let them get the message that such narishkeit will get them ignored.
SilentOne,
I was talking with Rabbi Dr Abraham J Twerski a number of years ago. He told me that low self esteem manifests itself in two ways (using Peanuts characters):
Charlie Brown – who has low self esteem and shows it at face value.
Lucy – who has low self esteem and uses the hard/mean outer shell to mask it
I think that the Lucy’s look for the Charlie Brown’s. And I think that (most of) the Charlie Brown’s may not be looking for Lucy’s, but they don’t reject them outright and get stuck in the relationship. Some may actually be looking for it.
The Hillel Houses are on college campuses and are open to be a place for Jewish students to affiliate with Judaism. As said before, “They are run by B’nai B’rith, an officially non-denominational Jewish organization.” They generally attract a non-Orthodox crown.
truth be told,
I understand and agree with the concept, but my point is that having a 200+ page book that basically says that it’s all a man’s fault can contribute to a abuse.
I think that these concepts, while they have truth to them, have to put in the proper context. You can find examples of Tzaddikim who had difficult wives. Are you going to then say that they were in reality bad people?
I found that it is not just pop culture that says that men should be strong and accept abuse (“big boys don’t cry”), but also some frum sources say that also.
In the Garden of Peace, translated by R’ Lazer Brody, it says that the way a wife acts is a mirror to the man’s spirituality. That is, if she is mean to him, then he is to blame. He should be more spiritually perfect. It was his shortcomings that caused her (through Hashem hand) to become angry, mean, etc. Nor should a man have any physical desires for his wife. If he does, she will reject him. What I understand from that is that a man is supposed to be an angel, regardless of his wife’s abuse, because it’s all his fault. <sarcasm> I’m glad to know that my wife has no free will, nor any human imperfections. </sarcasm>
cleverjewishpun said “You pay high tuition for a low quality education.”
Education is costly every where, and people always complain about quality.
I think that one big problem is the lack of parent participation. The parents, not the school, have the obligation to educate the child. The school is the proxy for the parent.
I know that this may not be popular, but as someone who was a treasurer at a school, you have to realize that any tuition reduction you get is being funded by the public.
While knowing where people shop and what groceries they buy may be a little too intrusive, having an accurate understanding of a family’s cash flow is necessary to understand their financial needs.
Some people try the best that they can (and even more than that sometimes) and still cannot come close to paying. I highly respect those that make a valiant effort. They do the best they can, while living in the means that Hashem has provided.
OTOH, Some people cry poverty, but spend $10,000 for a Pesach vacation. That is not fair, nor honest. If a relative paid for them, it’s less dishonest. If your kids’ chinuch is a primary need, then you need to prioritize it financially, including where to spend gifts. If it’s not a priority, then maybe try public school.
I compare it to buying a new car. Don’t go to the Cadillac dealer and say I can’t afford it, so give me half off. The community has an obligation to help each other, but if someone is going to be wasteful, then I don’t see much obligation to help them.
s2021,
I just found this link saying that the dairy component is batel:
http://www.oukosher.org/index.php/common/article/dairy_english_muffins/
OTOH, I apologize if I will sound harsh, and I don’t mean to preach. As far as I understand, you should ask a Rav about willfully intending to transgress a neder. It seems to have been a complicated situation.
Hatzlaha Rabba
s2021,
Look at the ingredients. If there is no sign of milk, then it might just be dairy equipment, as the OU does not use a “DE” designation.
If you see no milk ingredients, you should call them (the OU) at 212-613-8241 and ask. They will tell you if it’s DE vs Dairy if you ask.
Like Daas Yochid said, you can also be matir neder.
Hatzlaha
Moshe married Tzipora before Matan Torah.
We live in Galut. Accept that.
We live in a benevolent and kind country that allows us to have normal jobs and does not unfairly tax us for being Jewish. Instead of the oppressive “Jew tax” which we used to pay in the “old country”, we pay in other ways today. But we still enjoy (some of) the greatest economic, social, and political freedom of our Galut of the last 2000-2400 years.
You don’t own your children; you are a custodian for the One Above. It’s His responsibility to provide, our job to ask (daven).
I don’t think I would call me that.
BUT, I am concerned about people violating their nedarim. From what I understand, a broken vow carries with it a strict punishment from above. Rav Moshe said that if one specifically chooses Chalav Yisrael over Chalav companies three times, then that creates a Neder, vow, through their actions.
I’d rather have people drink Chalav Companies w/o breaking vows, than try Chalav Yisrael for a short while and violate a neder many times.
I guess my point is this: If you want to try C”Y then start by saying Bli Neder. Otherwise don’t start, or know what you are committing to and stick to it (or be matir neder).
Daas Yochid,
I also don’t see the teshuva from the ????? ?????? to be immaterial, but I can’t say that it was R’ Moshe’s intended public psak.
I see how you are leaning pshat in the teshuva in the Igrod Y”D 5. I think that it would take a real buki to determine who those “Yechidim” are. Until then, Teiku.
And until the next shipment of C”Y comes to my far OOT community, I’m drinking soy milk.
Daas Yochid,
After re-reading that teshuva, I see what you quoted above, but it seems to me that the context is concerning a Yeshiva and not the average person. When R’ Moshe says “??? ??? ????? ??? ?????? ???? ???? ?????? ?? ??????? ??? ??? ??????” which Yechidim is he talking about?
It seems to me that he is talking about people that want to be machmir on themselves. He is saying that even then they have don’t have to be strict with themselves.
I don’t see anywhere in this teshuva that R’ Moshe reconsiders or contradicts what he says in his earlier teshuvot, where he says that a ba’al nefesh should be machmir. In fact, one could say that the Yechidim in the Y”D Chalek 5 are the baalei nefesh in Y”D Chalek 2. So that it comes out (according to this understanding) that R’ Moshe is saying that even a baal nefesh, who lives way out of town, may rely on the chalav companies.
Daas Yochid,
I looked up the source that you listed above, but I do not find what you are quoting. It seems to me that R’ Moshe is saying that is the case of a yeshiva (not the average person), they should spend more because they are teaching how to stay away from prohibitions.
Here’s a link to the page:
http://www.hebrewbooks.org/pdfpager.aspx?req=919&st=&pgnum=44&hilite=
I cut and pasted from that link, but it did not come out perfectly. But anyway see the link.
???? ??? ?????????? ????????? ?????? ????
????? ??? ???? ?”? ????”? ????? ?????
??? ???????.”????? ????? ?????, ??? ?”? ??
????? ????? ??? ??????, ????? ?? ???? ????
?????? ?????? ????? ????? ????????? ??? ??
??? ?????????? ???????? ????? ????? ??????,
??? ???? ????? ??? ????????? 9??? ?? ??
???? ???? ???? ????? ?? ??????? ???? ?????
??? ?????? ?? ?????? ????? ??????, ?”? ????
???????? ?? ?? ??? ?????? ????? ????? ?????
??????.??,?????????? ???? ?????? ?????? ?? ??? ???? ‘?????? ????? ??? ???? ????????,
??? ?????? ?????? ??? ??? ??? ???? ??? ????
????’?.??????????, ??????? ????? ??? ?????. ??? ??????? ???? ?? ????????? ????
?????? ?????, ???? ??? ??? ??? ????? ???
?????? ???? ???? ?????? ???????????? ???
??????.
????? ?? ????
The Persian community never had gairim, at least for a long long time. If a Persian muslim told his family he wanted to convert, he would not see the next sunrise.
I make water Challah. Would you be interested?
Daas Yochid,
Thank you for the source. B”N I will look it up on Shabbat.
Shabbat Shalom to you all.
Daas Yochid,
Can you find me in the Igros Moshe (the teshuvot that he approved and published during his life) where R’ Moshe says that the p’sak is to be applied b’shaas had’chak ?
Daas Yachid,
Although I am not so familiar with R’ Forst, it seems to me that R’ Dovid’s opinion and the fact that R’ Moshe did not publish the teshuva that you quoted is evidence enough of R’ Moshe’s true intention for a public psak. R’ Moshe might have been more machmir in different situations, depending on the circumstances, but that is clearly not what his published (by him) teshuvot imply, where he says that a baal nefesh should be machmir.
freshly baked babka
Barbecued meat
fresh air – in the country or by the shore
microsoft, coke, budwiser (hey the super bowl was just on), apple, mcdonalds
those are my top 5 for brand recognition by the general public
According to the above letter quoted from Rav Moshe, it is not proper to rely on the leniency of chalav stam if one can get Ch”Y milk with a little more effort and price.
So then, how do you define effort (Tircha) and price. Usually 1/6 is the amount for overcharge. In this case, the difference is usually more than 1/6. More like %50 to %100 (or more if OOT).
To see a list of the poskim (Rishonim) who do/don’t require 600,000, see the BY on the Tur.
Tosafos asks an interesting question. How do we get the number 600,000? After all that was just the men in the Midbar? The answer is that is the number the Torah gave us, so we use that number.
I want to change the subject a little.
I think that one of the causes of Shalom Bayit is that each spouse has expectations that are not realistic. She may have unrealistic monetary expections, while he may have unrealistic expectations for things at home.
I have also heard that many women feel that once they are married, they can open up to their husbands with whatever they are feeling. Well, sometimes that comes off as verbal attacks. Men might do this some times also.
I (indirectly) heard from the Mashgiach of Lakewood, that peace is not the lack of war, it is the opposite of war. War is the concerted effort to not get along and to hurt. Peace is therefore the concerted effort to get along. It takes work.
The Rambam at the end of Hilchot Isurai Biah (22:17) mentions that this kind of stuff happens in every community occasionally.
???? ??? ???? ??? ??? ??? ????, ???? ??? ?????? ?????? ??????? ??????.
I recently got a new passport and they did they pics at the post office, where I ordered the passport.
It’s a good idea for all to have a current passport, as you don’t know when you have to go.
SJSinNYC,
My understanding is that the elbow may be OK to be uncovered, BUT absolutely nothing above that. Therefore if a shirt goes to the elbow (but not including), the lady must not really move her arms so that the sleeve does not move and reveal any part of her upper arm.
Technically your Rav’s psak sounds right to me. Practically the psak sounds rather difficult to implement.
BTW, the same applies to hemlines of a skirt. Even if the hemline goes past the knee, unless a good 6 inches past, the thighs will be uncovered sometimes, esp when sitting.