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Start laying down some rules, like “don’t take anything unless you ask”. My MIL sometimes feels too at home and annoys us also. She was talking to some friends her age, and they (her friends) have said that their kids tell them that they don’t have tact. I guess that’s what happens when you don’t live with anyone, you forget boundaries. Your job is to reinstate some boundaries.
The reason why the Yiddish word for MIL is Shvigger is because they could not think of an uglier sounding word.
Mazel Tov !
do you mean tsisit strings?
are you a guy with a name chana?
or was she asking you (a female) about frum guys?
From what I’ve seen by searching online, it may permitted provided that you are doing so for enjoyment and you don’t get sweaty.
CYLOR
After hearing more of your explanation, I would have to agree with aries.
King David didn’t like it either:
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??????? ?????? ????-???????? ???????? ??????? ?????????? ?????????
My mother-in-law sometimes likes to comment and criticize our parenting abilities. She does it in front of our kids, which undermines our authority and Shalom Bayit, which makes the kids worse (esp on a Fri night when we eat late). My wife recently confronted her and got her to keep her opinion to herself.
You will need to confront your MIL. Not necessarily be agumentative, but stand you ground and explain your discomfort. Also explain that having guests and upsetting them is no favor to them.
She may not even think that she is displaying any abnormal emotion or speech. Nor may she be cognizant of her bad habits. I get the feeling that no one has told her to be quiet. Well, some one has to and that may be you.
She an emotional bully who is taking advantage of your politeness. You gotta draw the line, being firm while being a mentch.
Hey Mods,
What’s with yoyo’s subtitle of “joseph’s sister”? IMHO, she is not like him. Is it because of a same IP address?
You could try to ask your brother why she seems “shy” around you?
You can use another word instead of “shy”, and don’t use a negative word.
Tell your parents about his strange and desperate behavior. If someone was following my daughter, I’d want to know and I’d be really concerned.
Clair,
If it’s beyond their level, yuhara.
there are two different parts to yeshivish. The first one is halachic yeshish; spending excessive time learning, keeping many chumros, etc. Not only don’t I see anything wrong with this, but it think it’s a very good an praiseworthy thing.
I see keeping many chumrot as a problem if it’s on the backs of others.
Clairvoyant,
I understand mexipal to say that one can dress too yeshivish if it’s nowhere near one’s real level.
3rd
My secret is the CR.
I am addicted and no one in my family knows it. I’m not sure if any one of them knows about the CR.
Goq,
Have you asked your niece’s parent – your sibling – about this.
From your description of this guy, he does not daven to Hashem, but comes to shul to make himself feel good.
boy
30-50
Clean gravestones.
How about taking a picture of her (like with a cell phone). Ask her if she can pose for you. If she asks why, tell her it’s for the cops.
but im getting a little nervous i want to know why she is following me did a guy tell her to or is she just actin wierd
It sounds like the store manager is interested in finding out why you don’t talk with him. You have not described him as a tsniut person.
I like aries’ advice. Go up to her and start talking with her. She is not expecting you to go up to her. She will feel awkward if you approach her, especially if you are nice to her. Take charge of the conversation and show confidence. Ask her for her name, where she goes to school. In other words, turn the table – you get info about her. Make her feel hunted.
One time I was at an ATM getting money when two guys who were talking behind me, then they separated a few feet. One was at 4 oclock and one at 8 oclock. It felt that they were ready to attack. Without saying anything, I looked at them and made them realize that I am not unaware of their tactics. It was enough to stand them down. After I left and walked a half block, I realized that I forgot the receipt. I went back to the ATM and they were still there talking, not expecting me. I barged past them, said “excuse me”, and grabbed the receipt. They were not expecting it and they seemed a bit startled.
Yoyo,
Is this the same person (at that store) that you mentioned in your other thread? Or is this in another store?
Also, what are the chances that it is coincidence? How often has it happened?
yoyo,
you mentioned that you have an older brother. can he go instead?
Marbit – cross between maariv and arbit
The Torah commands us not to have chamets in our possession.
Be professional.
Let them know that you have a need for some space.
Speak in measured words.
For those who are not aware, nurses deal with all kinds of private issues every day to the point that they may seem mundane to them. I have relatives who are nurses, who tell me that their coworkers talk is often not tsniut. They can become desensitized.
ha ha ha ha,
Mazal Tov !!
Know.it.all said, “some of them have no problem with the fact that their husband/father is waiting”
In other words, these are rude women. They don’t care that they are interrupting your Shabbat, nor do they care about their own homes.
In that case, you need to be a little more forceful. For example, say “we’re making kiddush now” and proceed to the table and make kiddush in a strong voice.
“women are addicted to shmoozing” – see Kiddushin 49b among others
happiest – I’m almost blushing reading your words. I did not know I could have such an impact. I wish you the best.
What’s the difference between a vulture and a lawyer?
The vulture will wait until you are dead to rip your heart out.
As a cohain I am supposed to avoid good lawyers.
The Talmud is more than theoretical knowlege.
Without practice, the wisdom will not endure.
See Pirkei Avot, 3rd chapter, Rav Chanina ben Dosa
Being that the Mods like it if we suggest a sub, why don’t we suggest sub-titles for others.
Bless the user Happiest so that she will have a good Zivug soon.
s2021,
Are you going to start charging us to talk with you 🙂
Maybe tell her that you are too busy because you need to work because you need the money.
Try a Kohain. Even outside the official Bracha, it is still considered a bracha from a kohain.
When Rav Hillel David visited my community, he told me that and he asked me for a bracha.
I will have you in mind, B”N, tomorrow morning, my next time up there.
Also give others a bracha and you should be blessed midah kneged midah. ??????????? ???????????
How about creating a web site where you could publish your articles and have ads. You make money from the ads. I could make it for you in a number of hours, and I’m sure others could too.
If interested, contact the MODs. They have my permission (given here) to give out my contact info.
I would say it’s OK as long as you are vigilant not to talk with them, nor give them eye contact, nor any friendly or welcoming body motions (like don’t face in their direction).
Think of it like animals of prey waiting for a chance to attack. If they see a sign of emotional weakness or your guard down, they will feel that they have the opportunity to attack.
They = wolves
You = sheep
Tsniut = sheppard
tbt,
Cute question :), but as I stated in the other thread, I’m not a fan of labels.
Shticky Guy asked,
“Were you trying to write in bold or italics etc? Do you know how to do it?”
I was using the style from XML/HTML to point out that I was speaking in jest.
eclipse,
I hope your ex’s new wife will provide more guidance and structure for your daughter than her new husband has for the older daughters.
One name for the Mishkan is Ohel Moed, tent of meeting. One reason to go to shul is the social aspect. It’s healthy to interact with people.
Disclaimer: this is not meant as a encouragement to talk during davening or even to talk unimportant things in shul.
s2021,
Where do you get KFP rice crispies? I’d like to get some.
Sof haDavar HaKol Nishmah – At the end all will be heard.
Why? because we are allowed to discuss all topics. BUT, as the passuk continues, it must lead to Yirat Hashem and doing Mitsvot.
We talk about difficult situations to help others with their situations and feeling arising from those situations.
Areivim ze lezeh. Areiv can also mean sweeten, as used in bircat haTorah. All Jews sweeten each other.
“My mother is of the opinion that everyone should stop eating gebrochts so that they can share in the burden of our brothers and sisters who don’t.”
Maybe she can share in my burden for tuition.
Or ask her to do hatarat nedarim, so that she can share in our enjoyment.