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I once heard a shiur from Rabbi Yaakov Hillel, a noted Kabbalist, where he compared (with a chuckle in his voice) the red string to Avodah Zara.
Welcome back s2021.
First of all, I think that we need to define what is an Ayin Hara.
I know of two explanations:
1) Psychological – someone stares at you and gives you the creeps
2) Spiritual – Someone looks at you with bad intent and bad things happen. Why? because their malicious stare (and sentiments) can be like a prayer to Hashem.
I beleive that either of the above can happen.
Trim,
I know this is not pleasant, but sometimes you have to yell back.
Never heard that they were kosher to begin with. Are they?
“whom goes to whom?”
Mods, you got a laugh out of me 🙂
haifagirl said
“Could you please change the title of this thread to “Who goes to whom?” It would make me very happy.”
I was also bothered by that.
Pacific North West
My Rav said that going into a treif restaurant is a problem with maaras ayin. But if your parnassa is at risk, then the laws of maaras ayin include an exclusion.
So when my coworkers went out for drinks, I avoided it, but when the dept head had a b-day lunch I went and drank coke.
We all enjoy our anonymity here, including the Mods. Posting pictures would end that.
BoR – I think that you are alone with your sentiments.
Mods – I think that we all disagree with BoR’s opinon. But is that a reason to block her?
bpt and adorable,
I would agree with you normally, but this case is rather unusual. I beleive in trying rehab, preferably with a professional. I beleive that he may need some guidance and incentive (prodding) that he might not have gotten. If all this has been tried, then it’s time for plan B. Until then, try to make it work.
We learn the kinyan of kiddushin from when Avraham bought the fields from Ephron – VaYikach.
Each side thought that they were getting the better end of the deal. The greedy, non-spiritual dude got a lot of money for “some cave”. And Avraham got a great eternal spiritual place for a little of money.
Maybe the wife in the OP has to “manage” the non-working husband. He may not know what to do at home. He may think that he is doing enough or that his role in the house (as a man) is not to do housework.
She should give him a list of things to accomplish and offer help when needed. Do not look over his shoulder unless he asks for help.
CharlieHall said
“Regarding the confusion of permissivism with liberalism, I will point out one great example of how they differ: Pete Seeger, the famous folksinger known for his far-left politics. He has been married to the same woman since 1943. “
Peet Seeger represents yesterday’s liberalism.
I once heard from Rabbi Shmuel Yaakov Weinberg zt”l of Ner Israel that the way to reduce the homicide rate is not by the death penalty. As there is no correlation between death penalty and reduced homicides. The way to reduce homicides is to have respect for human life and to respect people as to not hurt them. If you don’t care about hurting someone, then that can escalate to far greater things.
The Gemara (AZ 18b) just mentions “Maaseh Bruria” but does not get into detail. Rashi there goes into detail.
The Ben Yehoyada explains that the student was a S’ris, emasculated, and had no desires. He did look normal though, for the most part (or in most parts). She did not know he was not “manly”. He mentions the bath thing as being “platonic” (my word not his). When she was “busted” she was under such embarrassment that she committed suicide (she was not considered an avaryan because of the severe emotional trauma). When Rabbi Meir realized what he had caused, he went to Galut for a kapara.
See the link to see it inside, bottom left of the page.
http://www.hebrewbooks.org/pdfpager.aspx?req=14476&st=&pgnum=148
I also like Old City Cafe. It’s really soft and microwaves well. Just first break it into 1″-2″ pieces, then microwave for 60-70 seconds. Great snack.
It has a sweet dough, so even for Sepharadim it’s mezonot (unless one is kovea seudah).
I’m not so sure that we are learning it the same way as they did. But if I recall correctly, the Babi Sali got married at 13. So I guess it all depends.
I have not had real full time employment since the economy tanked (over 2.5 years). I do a lot of parenting and housework. B”H my wife makes enough to pay the bills. But I can’t find a job that will (if I can find one to begin with). It can be demoralizing. I sometimes feel why should I try – she will still need to work and the kids and house will get neglected.
Please understand that your friends husband may have that feeling of despondency/yiyush. I keep trying, but his situation is even more deep and may be too much for him to get out of the yiyush. Bigger family – which means bigger bills- and more time unemployed.
It sounds to me that he needs some counseling, and his wife needs to give him encouragement for whatever he does inside and outside.
Do we follow all the other dictates of this Mishna? Are 5 year old kids learning Mikra for five years, then Mishna for five years, then start Gemara at 15? No.
The Mishna is giving us suggested guidelines that our present day Chachamim will interpret and apply as needed.
That’s funny 🙂
Sick, but funny.
I heard that youtube, facebook, and twitter are joining. The new name will be you-twit-face. It will be the greatest time waster ever known.
600 kilo bear said “220 g burgers? Three of those and I’ll still be hungry!”
Unless you are really a 600 kilo bear, I think that you’d be satisfied with 1.5 pounds of meat with all the fixings.
adorable,
Who are you asking?
I’m a guy.
I was answering you question above of why it bothers me.
To be honest, I never read the rules.
Besides being overpriced, kol isha, and a waste of time, I think that they are all good.
real-brisker – like I said “I think that advertising would bring down the quality of the discussions.”
We have a great group of people who seems to be concerned with each other, and I think that consumerism would bring us all down. Some might care more for money than their fellow.
There is a correlation with household chemicals (like air fresheners and strong cleaners) with asthma.
ZK,
I think yours are generally cute (OK the joseph thing was not).
s2021,
When her kids are teenagers, she may really suffer then. She won’t know how to provide for them a real frum role model, as she did not live through it. She may have a lot of difficulties with her kids.
real-brisker,
I thought that it was against the rules of the CR.
Furthermore, I think that advertising would bring down the quality of the discussions.
Dr Hall,
I don’t believe that eyewitness account is needed for Noachide law. Burden of proof is less for Noachide capital punishment.
Find a new job and get out quickly.
Make sure you don’t pushed around in the future.
MODS,
Is this some shameless ad? I thought that you don’t allow such things.
I had a friend that, when he became BT, stopped smoking on Shabbat. He said to himself, “Smoking is not an option today.” After a while, he realized that if he could stop for one day he could stop for another, while telling himself “it’s not an option today.” Two days became three, and three became four, etc. etc.
We told our daughter that Hashem is up in Shamayim.
When she was four, we were flying in a plane. As we were approaching the destination, the captain got on the intercom to announce that we were landing soon. My daughter, hearing a voice from nowhere, asked “Is that Hashem talking?”
Mazel Tov !
“this is not typical though. your child was unhappy, and for whatever reason the way it manifested itself was in stunted social development. a typical child will do just fine in a public school setting. “
A child knows when he’s different and that usually makes them feel uncomfortable. My child may have been more uncomfortable than others. He became comfortable as soon as he started a frum school.
“you always need to check out what they have access to BEFORE they access it.”
That’s not so easy. You can’t always know what the teachers are doing. Did you ask the art teacher what projects they are doing? or the music teacher about the songs? or what they might see in the library? If I were a teacher, I would be annoyed if a parent was always asking about my materials. As you said, these teachers have much education and experience. They (like any other professional) don’t want an outsider telling them what to do. They will eventually learn to say what you want to hear.
My son’s preschool was expensive (15k) and basically like a public school, and unfortunately needed for us to both work. I wish I had other real options.
anonymrs, you seem to justify your position a lot and have a lot of contempt for the Jewish preschools. any guilt?
Chinuch starts from infancy. One does not learn any real knowledge then, but one learns the appreciation of that knowledge and way of life.
We sent our son to the JCC for nursery and pre-K. It was basically like a public school with many who were not Jewish or religious. He was the only religious kid in his class there. He felt quite uncomfortable and out-of-place, and he did not do well. At 5 he had the personal and social development of a 3 year old. He was very insecure and mistrusting.
After 2 years in a real frum school, he is where he should be. B”H.
You can talk, and we’ll listen. BUT there is a limit we can help. Don’t look to any one thing or person to “save” you, except Hashem. This even applies in marriage. Your spouse is not and cannot be your entire social outlet. You need your friends, work, hobbies, etc.
The latest FF is now like chrome and almost as fast.
ItcheSrulik,
Good question. That’s why I ended off with CYLOR, aka call a Rav.
BTW there is more leeway with Arvit times.
One who always go LeKula is called a Rasha (Rosh Hashana 14b). Why?
Because a Kula in one place may be based on a situation that makes a Humra in another. In other words, you can’t play both sides of the fence, or else you will contradict yourself. See the above citation and Rashi ad loc for a better understanding.
It seems to me that if the items are unrelated, then you may be able to be lenient in both, BUT you have to make sure they are unrelated in their reasoning’s. CYLOR.
IIRC, the Hovot HaLevavot says that Gaavah comes from sheker.
Happiest,
Glad to hear the good news.
You are still in my prayers.
“No Rishon argues on that Rambam. It is universal.”
You could think that way, but clearly others learned otherwise.
See Igrot Moshe – Yoreh Deiah chelek 2 siman 44. Rav Moshe holds that the Rambam is a minority opinion, just as Rav BenZion Uziel holds.
“The Torah prohibits a woman from holding public office. “
Where does it say that? The Rambam says that (Hilchot Melachim 1:6), but he is the only Rishon that says that. Therefore according to Rabbi BenZion Uziel (first cheif Sephardic Rabbi) it is permitted to have a women as head of state (Mishpatei Uziel 44).
pro-form makes several brands including weslo (avoid), proform, and nordictrac (they bought the brand name from the ski machine company)
they are of different levels and prices
Mazel Tov !
When I was looking for a treadmill about 5 years ago, one brand that I saw was Nordictrac. After seeing that brand of treadmill, I thought about the ski machine and I eventually got one instead. I find several advantages to the ski machine:
1) much lighter in weight. A treadmill is 250-300 pounds. Nordictrac is about 40 pounds.
2) it makes less noise, especially to a person living underneath. a treadmill makes a loud pounding sound to those underneath you.
3) less impact on the knees.
4) price – I got a used Nordictrac in good condition on craigslist for $40. Used treadmills go for more, and a good new treadmill can be upwards of $500 (I got one about ten years ago). And then you have to schlep it (see item 1 above).
Found this on the web:
There are two opinions in the Gemara (Yevamos 39b) about whether or not we should perform Yibum. The Rabanan hold that we should and Aba Shaul holds that we should not. The Rambam explains in a Teshuvah (Yerushalayim, 5694, #170) that according to the Rabanan the Isur of Eishes Ach b’Makom Mitzvas Yibum is completely nullified (Hutrah), whereas Aba Shaul holds that it is only removed if the Yibum is performed l’Shem Mitzvas Yibum (Dechuyah). According to the Rabanan even if one does not perform Yibum l’Shem Mitzvah there is no Isur.
The Rambam (Hilchos Yibum, 1:2) says the Halachah follows the opinion of the Rabanan. Rabeinu Tam holds the Halachah is like Aba Shaul. The Beis Yosef (Shulchan Aruch, EH 165:1) decides in favor of the Rambam and the Rema (op cit.) brings the opinion of Rabeinu Tam. According to this, the Sefardim who follow the Psak of the Beis Yosef, should be able to perform Yibum even today. The Ashkenazim who follow the Psak of the Rema do not practice Yibum at all.
A decree was issued by the Chief Rabbinate of Israel in 1950 and signed by both the Ashkenazi and Sephardi Chief Rabbis, that Yibum should not be practiced in Eretz Yisrael by anyone including the Sefardim, and that anyone that refuses to perform Chalitzah on his Shomeres Yavam is obligated to support her financially.
Rav Ovadia Yosef wrote a Teshuvah (Yabia Omer, E”H 6:14) stating that this decree has no Halachic basis and that the Psak of the Beis Yosef cannot be overturned (and he added that if they extract money from the Yavam to support the Shomeres Yavam, that it is Gezel). Nonetheless, the fact is that as a result of this decree, Yibum is illegal today in Israel, so it is not practiced by anyone here. It seems (from Teshuvos written by Rav Moshe Feinstein and other Poskim) that it has been performed in Chutz la’Aretz by Sefardim.