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I don’t wear plaid. It makes me look fat.
mommamia22,
It sounds to me that the basic problem is that your husband does not take your side or support you. It seems to me that he is almost inviting his mother’s comments. He grew up in kvetchiness, knows no better, and seems to like it. IMHO you two need to seek some counseling, a neutral mediator – a rav or therapist or both. You have to work out these issues.
You can’t pull away from her if he is still pulling her in. For example, I have troubles believing that your husband would be amenable to having an outside babysitter. Even if he is, once she gets wind of it, that will change.
42,
My sister is a dentist, and she told me that chocolate is good for the teeth. Well, the chocolate is good, but all that sugar in it is bad.
Have someone else call.
Do you think that your parents could call hers?
Please keep in mind your ex-fiance. If you are dating her friend, it may get awkward.
Good laugh ZK. Thanks 🙂
Happy Birthday, The Goq!
“MDG: Rav Aharon Soloveitchik’s brother, Rav Yoshe Ber held it was assur. “
There could be differences in the circumstances that brought a different psak, but they might hold the same. The following is my conjecture to reconcile:
1) Maybe Rav Yoshe Ber was opining for the NYC metro area, with more Jews and a much higher chance of real tumat ohel.
2) Maybe Rav Aharon actually would advise kohanim to avoid even goish meitim LicHatchila, but my question was already a bedieved – that I really wanted to do become a doctor. I did not ask him if I should go to med school to begin with.
BTW, I’m not a doctor, although I seriously thought about it long ago.
I vote for The Goq
“you wouldnt need a tshuva for that. its a straight up issur “
It may appear that way, but situations in life are not always so simple. If it is clear that there is tumat ohel for an aino yehudi, then what was the question? Why would one great Rav ask another great Rav such a simple question? And why would such a simple teshuva be codified (by Rav Moshe himself) in a book of teshuvot if it’s that obvious?
Life is not that simple. It’s easy to pasken from behind a keyboard. I asked a Rav and got an answer.
See Yorah Deah 372:2, where he says that it is proper for a cohen to avoid walking over kevarim of goim. From his lashon (and also the Tur’s) it’s clearly not forbidden. Maybe not preferable.
MonseyFan said
“To MDG — There is a Tshuva written by Rav Moshe zt”l to Rav Shimon Schwab zt’L regarding kohanim and going to med school. Rav Moshe makes it very clear that it is forbidden. “
I sure that Rav Aharon Soleveitchik knew about that teshuva. I think that teshuva of Rav Moshe was concerning actively participating in the anatomy lab, like doing the actual dissection, touching, etc.
http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/numbers.php?location=Lakewood
From that page it looks to be:
Lakewood Brooklyn Bus Company 732-987-7733
A long time ago, I (a cohen) was considering med school. I contacted Rav Aharon Soleveitchik to ask what I could do about anatomy lab. He told me that I could be in the cadaver lab but not touch or move anything. He told me because of or Rov Goyim there was no worry of tumat ohel.
It could be that in some areas, like NYC metro, there are so many Jews that you cannot assume that there is not any tumat ohel (cadavers from Jews). I was not living in the NYC area at the time of that psak, so don’t know what he would have said in that case. Just raising the question/issue.
“In Eretz Yisrael, the average Israeli yeshiva learn over 20 blatt first seder. “
Maybe because they speak Hebrew there, they are more advanced. They start earlier in life, learn more, and progress faster.
“Wow, 163 million missing girls. Talk about a shidduch crisis. “
According to the author of that book, when you have such an imbalance of boys, you get a large army and a more war-like populace (even civilian). Furthermore, women are sought out and then become commoditized, with all the negative implications thereof.
According to the book that ronrsr referenced above, “Unnatural Selection: Choosing Boys Over Girls and the Consequences of a World Full of Men.”, there seems to be 163,000,000 missing girls, due to abortion (or infanticide) in India, Pakistan, China, and other countries in that region.
They have been doing this for many years.
“In any event, there is no greater claim to authenticity or originality between the Sefardim and Ashkenazim. “
At least in color, Sepharadim are better. There are no positive references to wearing black in the Gemara.
Thanks for correcting me. I think I may be remembering a Daat Yachid there. It’s been about 7 years since I last learned Maccot.
“Also, we are not indigenous to Syria or Iraq. “
I think that Avraham Avinu came from that area.
I think what YehudahTzvi is saying is quite reasonable that the traditional ME clothing is probably very similar to what was worn 2000 years ago. BUT I do realize that styles change. They could have changed from then until now, and even if the did not, we could still wear our western/European clothes now.
Speaking of Iraqi Jews, the Ben Ish Hy mentions not to wear black on Shabbat, but IIRC he does not mention any style. Furthermore, the Mishnah of Shabbat 6th perek talks about different styles of clothing. Apparently there were different styles back then.
MDG: So when does the killer get the protection of the Ir Miklat (from Goel Hadam) *only* as long as he remains in the Ir Miklat?
AFAIK, Yes.
An, unintentional killer, who was not negligent (e.g. upswing of the axe), get protection from being in the Ir Miklat. Completely accidental (Ones) goes out free, and the unintentional but negligent (downswing of the axe) is a “marked man” with no refuge available. Col sheKain an intentional killer is a “marked man”.
The Jews of Iraq and Iran are genetically from a different gene pool than other Jews. That study was published about a year ago. They moved there (or should we say were taken there) during the first galut and stayed there for 2300+ years. Rav Ovadia is from Iraq.
Sefardim came from Spain (hence “Sefardim”) before they moved to the Middle East.
First of all, some Sephardim went from the middle east to Spain and lived there for a much shorter time than Ashkenazim lived in Europe.
2nd, not all “Sephardim” came from Spain.
“2. Accidental killer is brought from Ir Miklat to court, determined to be accidental, sentenced to Ir Miklat.
3. Intentional killer without warning from witnesses is brought from Ir Miklat to court, and then sent free?
Why should Case 3 have it off when Case 2 doesn’t? “
I beleive that there are two situations where the killer is sent out and not to an Ir Miklat:
1) Complete Ones – totally patur. The Goel Hadam can’t touch him.
2) Negligent – should have taken precautions but didn’t. The killer does not get the protection of the Ir Miklat.
APY,
AFAIK There is a 4th verdict, that of negligent but not willful murder; i.e. when the axe head flies off and kills on the down stroke. That person does not get to go to the Ir Miklat (to be safe), nor is he considered beyond retribution from the Goel Hadam.
I don’t beleive that anyone is “handed over to the family”, but in this case he better watch out. He’s now a target with no place for refuge.
ZeesKite is “a big kid now!”
Home made pizza, maybe some salad, water, fruit.
Social pressure.
rarelycomments,
Thank you for the Bracha, and may you also be zoche to all that. I am also surprised that people would get a psak from the internet, especially an open forum. Thanks for bringing that to light.
ItcheSrulik,
rarelycomments was annoyed with me, and I said “No.”
cookies123,
rarelycomments brings up a good point. Please ask a Rav.
I remember a time when I had a question about a kashrut incident. I looked up the Shulchan Aruch, Shach, and Taz. I was ready to question whatever the Rav said (either lenient or strict), thinking that I understood the issue enough to discuss. Well, he approached the issue from a completely different angle (and I had nothing to say).
rarelycomments,
I’m sorry if I annoyed you. Someone asked a question and some of us gave our answers to the best our knowledge. None of us claimed to be practicing Rovs. When I see a discussion here, I consider it a discussion and not a psak. But if, as you wrote “people take what you write and then decide for themselves!” is true, then I deeply sorry for “paskening” here and anywhere else that I might have paskened. I will be more careful. Thank you.
tracht gut,
Than make up your mind to only freely speak/communicate with your fiance/husband and no other man. If you have to speak sometimes speak only with other men as needed and no more, and only as many words as needed and no more.
“I dont believe a brother/sister act as a shomer to each other, but am not quite sure.”
There is a question even if a brother and sister can be miyached (for example, the parents are on a long trip). Rav Moshe rules that for long terms (I beleive for over a month) it is forbidden.
So it seems pretty clear that they are not shomrim of each other.
No.
A bother and sister do not keep each other from impropriety, whereas a husband and wife do.
If your parents are there, that might work, but if it’s just the 3 of you, no question it’s forbidden. See Rambam Isurai Biah, chap 22.
? ???? ??????? ?? ????? ?? ??????, ??? ???? ??? ????–???? ?? ???? ????? ?????: ??? ???? ?? ???, ???? ?? ???, ????? ?? ???? ????.
The same wording is in the Shlchan Aruch, Even HaEzer 22.
Why don’t you tell her that?
Start with one thing at a time.
For me that was not listening to recorded female voices.
Don’t try to take on anything big all at once. Divide and conquer.
IDK, but when I first saw it, I thought it was because the person is showing to Hashem that he is a loyal follower. It’s like an soldier putting on his dress uniform before meeting the pres.
Well said !
ZachKessin,
Macs use a unix based operating system.
I’m not sure how much a user can get under the covers.
be good,
I know a person that said Shir HaShirim for forty days, but nothing happened…until exactly a year later, to the day. I guess it had to be the right time.
You can download the program Kaluach. Set your place and it will tell you the times for sunrise, sunset, chatzot, kriat sh’ma, Shabbat, etc. You can also set you own custom halachic times.
“If you live in a place where it is customary to have more than one, then you wouldn’t need the firsts permission? “
According to my understanding of the Shulchan Aruch (and it seems very clear to me – see source), no permission needed.
I don’t know about your 2nd question.
It applies to Sephardim.
It may also apply to Ashkenazim. That depends on your view of the Rabbainu Gershom’s cherem. Was it for 250 years (ad sof elef haChamishi), 1000 years (which recently ended), or until Moshiah?
But look at the next Siif (76:7). I, as a Sephardi, can’t marry another w/o my wife’s permission because I live in a place where the custom is to marry only one. It seems implicit in my marriage agreement with my wife.
Even HaEzer 76:7
It starts out by saying that a man is technically allowed to marry as many as he wants, assuming that he can support them in all ways. But it ends off by saying that the Sages commanded at most 4.
Based on Yevamot 44a.
“Is it true thae Sfardim can have 7 wives? “
Only 4 as per the shulhan Aruch, if legal.
Chuck E Cheese may be more like an amusement place, but it’s name has “cheese” in it, which to some of us signals a restaurant as its primary purpose. I guess I would have to see one inside to really know.
Usually just leftovers from Shabbat. Maybe a couple times. Sometimes a BBQ on Sunday. This week, though, I plan on having steak. Hadrin Alach….
To those who object to this article (which I have not seen):
Would you remove masechte Yevamot from the beit midrash? From your personal shelves?
Only adults and older children can learn Yevamot. 7 and 8 year olds can’t.
“About a month ago, they dropped off white envelopes by everyone’s house so I went out collecting them from everyone and threw them out.”
That may be (one of) the best ways to counter them. They are professional arguers and have a bunch of lines ready, and most of us are not prepared. It might prove futile to argue with them.
Hi yoyo,
Welcome back. Missed you.