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Oomis, that is also the reason why the standard kesuba amount for a besula is twice the amount awarded a non-besula. And there is no such a Halacha for men.
Oomis, because bochurim want to marry besulos. And Gemora encourages this also. I would have considered divorcees or anusos(r’l) if they had other ma’alos to compensate for the lack of the aforementioned ma’ala.
Hanab maybe, you are wrong and overly sensetive?!?
Who said it is inappropriate?
The girls should not be so proud and date divorced men. I am a BT. When I was in shidduchim, I would consider a divorced girl, if she was otherwise very good (to compensate for her divorced status). And it is a bigger deal for a bochur to marry a divorcee than the other way around.
Ofcourse, being makpid on looks is not a ta’ana on the boy — it is abundantly clear from the Gemora. Being very makpid — ok, he is not a ba’al madreiga. Meeting more than 100 girls and not wanting any of them is a problem; more than 200 — a big problem. They just need to go out and get married.
Moderator, actually, I think, slishi is also Joseph.
Actually ,there is no such prohibition — to be friends. It is just a general haskofa — in order not to be influenced. When it comes to a Ger, there is more room to be lenient because of avoiding Chilul HaShem, Eiva and being kofui tova.
Health, it is not a matter of opinions, it is a matter of what the Torah says about it. And I do resent your (and of the like-minded individuals’) attitude. And you did imply that you wish many BTs remained non-frum and not be around to annoy others( re-read your original post).
Health, you asked me why I said that you seem to think that you own Yiddishkeit? I’ll tell you. Your attitude seems to be:”We have our FFB club here. Do not spoil it by bringing other Yidden in . It is not my problem if they do not keep mitsvos”.
Health, like I said, speak to a Rov.
She definetly should not drink a significant amount. The Gemora in Kesubos says that wine affects women in a very bad way. I hope, no frum girl would drink a significant amount of alchohol.
Rabbi Berkowitz from E. Isroel allowed a Jewish girl to have yichud with her Gentile father. I think the reason is that since they are biologically related, “ein itzram mesgaber aleihem”.
M in Israel, I concur.
Heimishe mom, Chilul HaShem in front of the Umos is certainly Chilul HaShem.
Health, I am not going to sit here and bring mekoros for the obvious. Ask your Rov or Rosh Yeshiva.
How can you make such sweeping smearing statements against the BTs? Never met bad FFBs?
M in Israel, you are not right. The Gemora there(ma’ase with Shaul’s relatives) says befeirush:”…mutav she’yeaker os achas min HaTorah ve’al ischalel Shem Shamaim befarchesia”. Ask you husband to find it for you. A Chilul HaShem in front of Goyim is real Chilul HaShem. Again, just look in the Rambam for the gedorim.
Health, frei Yidden are also Yidden who are mehuyav in mitsvos, and it is a total obligation to make them frum. You do not own Yiddishkeit!
A number of Gedolim said it: Rav Shach, Rab Berenbaum, Reb Elchonon Wasserman, Rav Avigdor Miller. Reb Aharon clearly implied it in one of his shmussen. Chofets Chaim warned about it coming.
Also, it would not hurt you to learn parshios Bechukosai and Ki Savo and know what was going on in Europe.
Look in Rambam, Hilchos Yesodei Hatorah, for the general gedorim
Doing something that makes Goyim think less of frum Jews is Chillul HaShem. Dovid HaMelech gave over Shaul’s relatives for execution to avoid this (Gemora in Ha’Arel, Yevamos).
Raizel Right deals with boys also.
600kilobear returns, the Shoa was a gezeira because everybody was going off the derech there. A German victory in WWI would not have averted it — doing teshuva would.
mw13, since 2+2=5, then 3+3=15? Right? You base your arguments on different not-poshute foundations,which themselves need to be proven first.
mw13, I am not sure what you mean.
What I meant was that some “right hashkofos” are way too machmir. Again, one is not allowed to look at inappropriat things. As far as learning it only “when it’s time to get married” goes, who said? And even if yes, this is not something to lose sleep over. If you should be upset about something, it is the fact that you knowingly did something wrong, not the worries about knowing about things.
Yihusdik, the woman was at least a shogeges — doing an aveira by mistake. We’ll judge her lekaf zechus and assume she was not a meizida.
Ado…, some of the so-called right hashkofoa are actually farfrumed ones. Even if I accepted what you wrote about the right hashkofos and right sources as is, still, this is not something to lose sleep over. The main problem was that you did something which you knew was wrong when you did it. This is something to do teshuva on. But do not get depressed please! Hatslocha!
Derech HaMelech, your thing with bechira does not sound right at all!!
Ado…, are people who are or have been married not innocent? The way somebody taught you to understand innocence, is Christian, not Jewish. They think, it is better not to get married at all, for example. If a person is aware of certain ta’avos or even has them does not make that person bad. Again, one is not allowed to read/look at inappropriate material, though.
Ado…, while one is not allowed to look at/read inappropriate material, somebody messed you up with certain farfrumed hashkofos which do not reflect the true Da’as Torah — all this emphasis on having “innocence”.
Pac-Man, stop manufacturing issurim out of thin air!!! There are enough real ones in Shulchan Aruch! Rabi Yehuda and his wife had only one dress for two of them. According to you they violated the obligation to be like royalty. STOP IT ALREADY!
Ms. Ado…, do not worry so much. What you did was not such a huge aveira. Certainly, nothing to despair about. Just continue on the right path!
Whatrutalkingabt, may you have siyatta di’Smaya to continue.
Aposhutyid, even if a woman does not have badd kavonos, it is wrong for a married woman to wear a lot of make-up as it attracts strange men.
I do not understand, Ado. You should not have read/looked at certain things. You are sorry about it. But,innocence? You think people who are married are not innocent? What do you mean?
I meant to prove that wearing a lot of make-up in public is not tsnius for a married woman. Most sheitels look too good, frankly.
Apushtayid, look in the beginning of Yishaya about the Bnos Zion and the Gemora in Shabbos which elaborates on it.
And, quite frankly, this matter is obvious. Stop being so riled up about it, when you are on the wrong side of the issue.
Popa, because that’s the Yeshivish thing to say about the case.
Gavra, I totally can’t see it — IT IS SIMPLY WRONG AND UNTRUE. DO NOT TAKE EVERYTHING YOU HEAR ABOUT THE BORO PARK EIRUV AT IT’S FACE VALUE!!!
According to this logic, anybody who follows a lenient opinion in a machlokes is a rosha according to the machmirim and can be treated as such. Shomu Shamaim al zos…!!!
If you hold opening bottles is osur, you may not ask others to do it. If they did it (because they hold it’s mutar), you can use the opened bottle.
A wife has rights regarding certain things, which the husband may not violate. Besides these rights, it is like the Englishman said, however — the husband is the king. He should be a benevolent one at that.
Gemora in Moed Katan says that it is the way of the women to like to beautify themselves. (It is not a heter, however, for a married woman to appear in places where strange men are present wearing a lot of make-up).
But that should be your prism for viewing the world.
Am Yisroel Chai,Aries and others, Halocha is Halocha. There is an issur of Eshes Ish, but there is no issur of Ish shel Isha.
Truth be told, Derech HaMelech and others, some ma’amorei Chazal to consider:
“Chasid-shote is one of the mavlei(one who wears down, destroys) olam”;
“Any Talmid Chacham who has no deya, a piece of neviela is better than him”;
“Hamegale panim be’torah shelo ke’Halocha has no helek le’Olam HaBa” (something some too-Yeshivish people engage in — by trying to turn chumros into hiyuvim).
Where does it say that Tisha be’Av is to commemorate all tragedies? Reb Moshe’s chiluk between government-sponsored persecution and popular persecution is hard to understand.
But I hear, that there are problems with Yom Hashoa
Chevra Adas Korach, where do you get this false shitos that one is not allowed to condemn ba’alei aveira? Look in “Chafets Chaim”!!
HRH, if she does not plan on marrying a long-term learner? preferably, no college.
Walton, they most definetely had a lower standard of living in the old country.
Popa bar abba, drei nit ken kup,please!!! There are Rabbonim who argued on Rav Moshe about many of his psakim and ruled not like him. How is the Boro Park eiruv different?
You’ve been so indoctrinated!!
But, aei no hinami, she should not be too friendly.
Yunger mann, any ideas about how to make a living, if all boys are to learn and all girls are not to go to college( or to work , for that matter)?
The chevra, how about Yevomos 79A, for crying out loud! What I meant to say: you can not just say “be rude” and who cares what anybody thinks!