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does anyone know of any chessed opportunities on the upper west side? thanks
In regards to marrying someone “better” than oneself, I’ve always wondered about that.
They say you should look for someone on a higher level than you, so that they will bring you up. But how does that work practically? Why would someone on a higher level than me want to marry me? Especially if they have the same advice, about marrying someone on a higher level than them? Thanks!
When you say there are some things you would have done differently, it’s possible that those are the things that bothered her. To you they may have seemed to be nothing major, but maybe to her they were. Maybe aries’ suggestion of humbling yourself, in recognizing what you may have done “wrong” (in her mind) might work. If she sees that you recognize what made her uncomfortable, maybe she will respect you for that recognition.
That is very true. I wouldn’t want to be responsible for preventing a shidduch from coming about. Maybe the best idea is to speak to a mentor you trust, to whom you can tell all the details, so they can get a clear picture of the situation and help figure out what’s best.
oomis, that is true. But it is also possible that at the beginning one of the two does not know what he or she wants, but then breaks off the relationship when they do realize what they want. Which may or may not be the case here.
Well obviously without knowing the details, it is hard to judge (not that we want to judge you, chas veshalom!)
But I still maintain that you should have a valid reason to think she may change her mind before putting her (and you) through the pain of considering it again, since obviously there is a reason she said no the first time around.
I don’t mean to sound harsh, I’ve just been there, and I know what it feels like.
Hashem should give you siyata dishmaya to find your zivug hagun bekarov, and easily.
First of all, if I were itsallyourfault I would change my username before getting into a marriage situation.
Also, when you say “They seem to be compatible hashkafah wise and they get along well” are you sure that it is not just that “they get along well” and that is why they “SEEM to be compatible hashkafah wise”?
Having been in a similar experience, I realized that the girl is never going to say “you’re not frum enough for me.” Instead, she will make up some silly excuse so you can never figure out why she is really not interested. Reading between the lines, I would say you should try to figure out if you really ARE compatible before getting into an uncomfortable situation.
Best of luck!