☕️coffee addict

In the year 2010, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in the United States, and said: Once again the earth has become wicked and over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me.

Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing long with a few good humans.

He gave Noah the blueprints, saying: You have 6 months to build the Ark before I will start

the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights.

Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard – but no Ark.

Noah! He roared, I’m about to start the rain! Where is the Ark ?

Forgive me, Lord, begged Noah, but things have changed.

I needed a building permit.

I’ve been arguing with the inspector about the need for a sprinkler system.

My neighbors claim that I’ve violated the neighborhood zoning laws by building the Ark in my yard and exceeding the height limitations. We had to go to the Development Appeal Board for a decision.

Then the Department of Transportation demanded a bond be posted for the future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark ‘s move to the sea.

I told them that the sea would be coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it.

Getting the wood was another problem. There’s a ban on cutting local trees in order to save the spotted owl.

I tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls – but no go!

When I started gathering the animals, an animal rights group sued me.

They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will.

They argued the accommodations were too restrictive, and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space.

Then the EPA ruled that I couldn’t build the Ark until they’d conducted an environmental impact study on your proposed flood.

I’m still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission on how many minorities I’m supposed to hire for my building crew.

Immigration is checking the status of most of the people who want to work.

The trade unions say I can’t use my sons. They insist I have to hire only Union workers with Ark-building experience.

To make matters worse, they seized all my assets, claiming I’m trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species.

So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10 years for me to finish this ark.

Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow stretched across the sky.

Noah looked up in wonder and asked, ‘You mean you’re not going to destroy the world?’

‘No,’ said the Lord.

‘The government beat me to it.’

taken from wikianswers website (I’m actually trying to use my BTL to get into a masters program)

Without going into the actually history of the two accrediting agencies, there are a few issues that should concern individuals when choosing between regionally and nationally accredited colleges and universities.

For one, the regional accreditation standards are higher than that of the national accreditation agency. Thus, the regional accreditation is preferred by colleges and universities who wish to be recognized as institutions that possess excellence within higher education.

Second is the issue of transferability of credits. Nationally accredited institutions typically accept credits from regionally accredited colleges and universities, where regionally accredited colleges and universities will not accept credits from nationally accredited institution. This means if you have a coursework and/or a degree from a nationally accredited institution, it would be like starting all over again should you decide to transfer to a regionally accredited school (which most all recognized colleges and universities are). This should also be a great concern should you plan on pursuing advance degrees (master’s, doctorate) at a later date. The degree from a nationally accredited school would not be recognized.

Third, employers who are aware of the difference in regional and national accreditations may not recognize your education that was completed at a nationally accredited institution

heres the website

http://wiki.answers.com/Q/What_is_the_difference_between_nationally_and_regionally_accredited_schools

imanonov and shticky guy good ones, i just hope i won’t forget not to tell my wife 😉

remind me that next year sister bear

Time to start some new affordable communities within shorter driving distance of available jobs and schools.

good luck with that

sounds like a stunt

lol

what about shabbos? (i’m guessing they live close to BMG so therefore shabbos davening would be there)

secondly, as popa easily pointed out, the pricing.

wellinformedyid,

what is your definition of “bummy” clothing

(please dont say clothes that a “bum” wears b/c thats just putting the same word in the definition)

How does Baby clothig get bummy?

well to name one it has stuff written on it (I got a shirt that says “if I don’t sleep nobody sleeps” or ap icture of a chipmunk that says chubby cheeks)

did you try Carter’s or Osh Gosh

just to name a few

just a side note:

It’s a very bad idea to follow this “minhag” it conjurs up a feeling of sefarim burning by the same goyim

just think how do you think you would feel if you saw a sefer torah being burnt

I heard that there’s one by Shulamith but i think you need a membership

A duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender “do you have any crackers”. The bartender replies “no this is a bar, we only serve alcohol” the duck returns the next day and asks “do you have any crackers”. The bartender repeats himself and says “no this is a bar, we only serve alcohol” The duck comes in a third day and asks again “do you have any crackers”. The bartender angrily answers back “no we don’t have any crackers and if you ask the question one more time im going to nail your beak to the wall”. the duck leaves and comes back the next day and asks “do you have any nails”. To which the bartender replies “no” then the duck asks

“do you have any crackers”.

They have the same right as the rest of the religions in the world to build a place of worship.

that’s true but they can build it someplace else.

We are living in Galus and we do not have the right to run the world!

noone is saying we are running the world we using our entitlement of free speech and this post is asking what are your views on the mosque

lol I think you should start a thread for corny puns only 😉

That reminds me!

who’s the father of all corny jokes?

Popcorn!

I’m joining the thread now too,

Building there is simply in poor taste. Poor taste is not illegal in this country, as evidenced by the jokes that start to go around when there is an election.

if were talking about legalities then it is also perfectly legal to carry guns

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Concealed_carry_in_the_United_States

yet there are metal detectors in public places and they tell you you can’t have guns here

I understand 1 is sensitivities and 1 is safety but were basically talking if it’s legal or not right?

here’s another pun (sorry)

once there was a tribal leader named Benny. Benny was appointed tribal leader because of his massive amount of facial hair.

One day Benny is goiong for a walk with one of his advisors, and while on his walk the asks his advisors “you know this hair is starting to annoy me, what do you think should i shave it a little, no one would be able to tell” The advisor looks at him in shock and says “No, our legend states that if the tribal leader shaves his hair something really bad will happen to him, therefore no one in the past has done it before” Benny decides to do it anyway and all of a sudden he turns into a teapot.

The moral of the story “A Benny shaved is a Benny urned”

And I happen to disagree with you very strongly. Every single person I know who has divorced after a short marriage has said to me that they did not feel they had nearly sufficient time to get to know the boy or girl, because the shidduch system pushed them along too quickly, and since everything looked good “on paper,” and the parents were eager for the learning boy or the girl with a good job,they took the chance. After they got married and realized what they really had gotten themselves into, they were very disillusioned by the reality of married life to someone about whom they really knew very little, other than the facts that were good on paper. The shidduch system as we know it is NOT working well at all. Never have there been so many single frum boys and girls. We do not live in the shtetl anymore, and what was accepted then is not acceptable to many now. Take off your rosy glasses and really look around at how many FRUM kids in their late twenties and thirties are not married.

actually with my wife, just with my phone conversations the connections became greater, first when i was talking to her i had no connection then i felt i was talking to a friend and in the end i felt like she was my sister and the whole dating process took 2 nad a half months b/c i was from out of town, but i hear that in towners take two weeks so i agree for in towners it’s too fast but years is a stretch

you sign up, link to your bank acct then you deposit money from your bank acct then you lose all your money if you don’t know what your doing (that’s how it wen’t for me)