As a quote I once heard, “those who marry for money, will soon lose nterest”

I remember the “bear from creedmoor” I think he lived in the Ukarine and was unfortunately niftar a few years book. I thought he was very funny and added a lot of humor to the CR.

NY Public schools are off this week for some reason. Expect those children to be around.

Should frum children have a public library card? No, they should not. There are many books that are extremely inappropriate for children, even in the children’s section. I learned that lesson many years ago, picking up a seemingly innocent book in the teenage section, and read of subjects that I should not have read about, and wish I never did.

There are Jewish Libraries ask around in more densely jewish neighborhoods. Ask around and you will find them.

While more of the recent Jewish Adult novels coming out are dealing with peoples’s issues or problems. I think and feel if someone knows how to write books, we can use more authors who will write with the proper hashgachas that we as Jews need and want to imbue in our children.

If one lives of town, and there is limited access, to kosher reading material, I think Torah U’Mesorah has a book list of ok reading material that can be used to pick up appropriate titles. But to let a child into a library unsupervised into a public library, with access to any all types of shmutz is inadvisable and asking for trouble. It is like asking someone to to go to a candy store and pick out from candies that does not have a kosher mark on it and let them guess which ones are kosher. Reading inappropriate material is just as bad as eating trief IMHO. They both will effect someone spiritually, and can have negative consequences. As a parent, are you willing to take that chance?? While we can help what we see on the outside world, we as parents are definitely responsible for what we are bringing into our homes. Same way as we have the responiblity to bring in only kosher foods.

As the mother of a few boys, I say give money. After the last bar mitzvah, we are surrounded by seforim, that will probably will not be opened as we have own quite a few copies of them. We have no additional shelf space and the seforim are in every nook and cranny, in corners all over the house. Let us say, we got swamped but the amount of seforim as gifts. And, no I do not do re-gifting. We appreciated the personalized gifts, like belts, cufflinks, garment bag, travel bag, toiletry bag, robe. Those are some nice ideas, other then seformim.

If the item is refurbished, I would imagine there would be a problem.

too many new building and not enough parking. Formerly one family homes are knocked down and turned into condos with Dr offices or other offices which brings in more patients and more traffic. Seems like they want to turn parts of Brooklyn into Manhattan.

My beef is the organizations that sells donors names. I get bombarded by them. Like, I gave you a donation and did you a favor, now you sell my name?? And now i have to deal with shredding the papers that contain my address? oh and the ones that so “thoughtfully” include shamimos items!! Seriouisly, like I need more shamimos items to get rid of?? I did not ask to receive your “gift”. No I do not need a Birchas Chanukah, or Licht Bentching.

I laughed when I saw the opening thread!! Seriously??!! I know people who never set foot s kitchen until they got married, and somehow turned in to incredible cooks. If a girl can follow directions, she can follow a receipe (unless the receipe was written incorrectly). If you are so worried maybe include in the must have credentials you want in a girl, is one who is trained in a culinary school.

And while we are at it, Maybe girls should ask to see the boys room to see if he leaves his clothes on the floor… like his socks.

coffee addict go to the simcha sites, there seems to be chasuna pictures, unless they were take before the 3 weeks and put up after the actual wedding.

Coffee Addict, I am Sephardi and no one I know has weddings during the 3 weeks. There are Sephardim who are more stringent, hard to believe, isn’t it?

letakein, it has happened a few times, you just do not hear about those things. Especially in the Goyishe world from 50 years back, when men would be embarassed to express the true feelings. Yes, they married and had families. Now that they are out of the closet, it is not as common. Unfortunately now,they marry each other and use surrogates if they want children. There is no shame anymore.

Looks like she is really pushing her “luck” here. (pun intended) You do know 77 is the Gematria for Mazal, wink, wink, so whose luck is she trying to change, the cat, hers, or yours?? Because after 77, either, you will end up hating the cat or will never want to part from it.

Cats(and all animals) are a responsibility. Are you prepared for the vet bills. Are you getting it already altered? Because halachically you may not alter an animal. You can obtain one already altered from a shelter like Bideawee. It would be irresponsible to bring a cat in and her have kittens. There are already too many. And trust that shelters do not need anymore. They will euthanize any cat brought to them, even if it sneezes. Cats have a need to scratch things. Male cats will spray to mark their terroritory. Then there is the litter box to clean up. Making sure to feed the animal before yourselves, Not touching an animal on Shabbos. davening with the animal in the room.

That’s what I thought, unless this 16 year old has a degree I thougth it was outrageous that her father thinks she should be paid $750.00. The father has no idea, what a mothers helper get paid. Sorry they do not get paid in that bracket, ever, even if the family well-to-do.

Maybe an adult professional with years of experience and 100 degrees in the subject and is physical therapist. Guess she needed an awakening, in the matters of the pay of teenagers, particularly summer jobs. I am sure if the original poster won’t accept the amount offered, they will find another girl who will gladly take that $200 weekly amount and make a few hundred dollars for the summer.

May I suggest, that all please try to listen to the Speeches of the Shloshim in Brooklyn, at learntorah.com. I have just listened to them and have been awestruck. B’ezras Hashem, may we all grow closer to each other from this tragedy that has impacted us all.

sweetie, find a Rabbi or teacher your parents respect, talk to that person and sit down together with you parents and discuss what goals you would like to accomplish in your life. I would not call your parents controlling, as your parents do love you and have your best interests at heart. Otherwise, if they did not care, they would leave you to your own devices. Your parents have life experience under their belt. They have seen things in their lifetime that they want to protect you from. Unfortunately, the only way to truly give a child independence is to let them make mistakes and learn from them. Mistakes do have a purpose in life, in that they let you learn from them and let you grow, hopefully, a little more wiser.

I have heard of this seguloh as well, although in this case the wine poured for the 10 makos is used, not the Kos Shel Eliyahu.

Guess, this person is still at it. A relative of mine was just paying a shiva call, and this man, no one knew, came in a threw a pen. I guess he gets the addresses from Misakim’s list.

On a side note, I am wary of the list being made public. While it is nice for people to find out information about who was niftar and who is sitting Shiva, there maybe other unwanted solicitations. I remember when I sat shiva, people came to drop off tzedakah pushkahs for their causes, leaving no room on the table for causes that were known to us. I don’t think it is right that some people do that. I had one that said for Yesomim and vistors assumed that it was for the family, but we honestly had no idea who left it. Then there was someone else who left a box, and sent a kid in to pick it up after the shiva was over. Again, no idea who this person/organization is/are.

Maybe the OP should say “Were we all middle eastern once?” considering the term “Sephardic” or “Sephard” refers to coming from Spain.

cr10, sorry to inform, but the Forefathers, were not Sephardi, unless somehow, they were from Spain. and if you are truly Sephardi as you say, you are, then you will know, that there were Jews in Aleppo, who never set foot in Spain and lived there for hundreds of years. The jews from Spain who fled to Syria, actually for many years, the Halabi jews did not even intermarry with the newly arrived Spanish Jews for a good while. After the Inquistion, jews were dispersed everywhere, even to European countries. There are many Ashkenazim, who are actually from Spain, and hence are Sephardim, but gradually took on the customes of the communities, they settled in. So if you want to you that argument against the Shadachanim, then by all means, but please do not say the ForeFathers were Sephardi. And if the Ashkenazi Shadachnim won’t deal with you and you are from Lakewood and say there are many other Sephardi’s in Lakewood, why don’t you find out if there are Sephardi Shadchanim in Lakewood?? instead of beating up on the Askenazim there. Do you think the Sephardi Shadchanim in Brooklyn, make shiddichim for Askenazim?? Seriously, if you think there is a problem, then fix, it. Be Makom, sh’ein Ish, Hishtadal L’Hiyos Ish. meaning in a place that there isn’t a man, then strive to be one. Why don’t you get together with your other Sephardi friends, one afternoon, and sit down with lists of all the singles you know and start setting people up. If you are not getting anywhere, maybe it’s time to take matters in to your own hands??!! or better yet, find out Sephardi Shadchanim in Brooklyn. If you want Sephardi yeshivish, then look into other communities. There are so many young Sephardi couples moving to Lakewood, practically every week. If you want to help your child get married, find these newlyweds in shuls and ask who set THEM up? Obviously, somebody DID!! Get names and call and call.

BoysWork, Oomis, that is what I have been saying all the time, this “Shidduch crisis” When this whole idea of learning only and not seeking a degree or earning a livelihood, took off. 20 years ago, most boys went to work, after yeshivah. It was rare for boys to continue learning full time. The current situation is unsustainable. When I got married, my parents and in-laws did not give us a penny, nor did we ever even think that such a idea existed, of parental support of kids after marriage. My parents paid for the wedding and that was it. I found an inexpensive gown, that I paid for myself, from my earnings. They were still trying to manage their own incomes. How can one ask for money from parents who are already struggling. I was taught, that when you got married, it was just the couple there to fend for themselves.

Nowadays, it is unfortunately, expected for the parents to pay for their childrens’ support. How? I don’t know, but this could very well be the reason, why there are less marriages occurring. And there are. There is no way parents, in this economy, can support their married kids, and especially, those parents,still with young children, at home to support. Even before the kids meets, some boys want to know how much support they will be getting.

The response to shidduch crisis is, that boys should start dating, younger. I don’t want to disparage the Gedolim, but that will not solve the crisis. Really, who do they expect to support the young family. Actually, I think it will make the problem worse. How can the Gedolim tell boys be to get married younger, when the boys have no means to support a wife & family. Doesn’t the Torah tell the men to have a house, and then get married? Doesn’t the Torah, tell fathers, that they have to teach their sons a livelihood? Doesn’t the ketubah, list a man’s obligations to his wife? I don’t think it says anywhere in the Torah, a parent is responsible to support his married children. Until boys are actual responsible for learning to earn their own incomes, the Gedolim can issue all the Kol Korahs for boys to get married a year younger, I don’t think it will solve the problem.