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The Age Gap is not the issue. There are plenty of boys. The issue is that the boys and girls are not on the same spritual levels. There are few learning quality boys available to the many girls who only want learning. The solution would be to help those boys grow and lower the higher ecpectations of the girls, who have it pounded into their heads, that a learning boy is the only thing to look for. I see girls growing older, they still want learning boys, meanwhile. unless they change their mindsets, they will still be single. The pool of boys available to them will shrink, even more so.
Good luck, the locals are complaining to the townships, that the camps should not be re-opened. Social media sites airing the camp issue, are full of anti-semtic comments. “They” are dirty, “they” don’t vaccinate their children. “They” are diseased. “They” think their are above the law. You know, the usual stuff that we yidden get.
As a quote I once heard, “those who marry for money, will soon lose nterest”
Absolutely not. What does one have to do with another??!! If anything, I would assume the high divorce rate and those having difficulty in conceiving, might be a probelm, if a shadchan was not paid; If anything, the boys going off the derech are the problem Bring those boys back to yiddishkeit and give them a reason they should get married. They are having a grand ole time (so they think) no responiblites or having to work like a dog to take care of a family. Drug use & Suicide is a very scery realty for the frum velt. Yes, there are boys, but some don’t want to get married. They have no reason too. It is imperative that we work on Kiruv Rechokim. Bring our kids back to love Yiddishkeit!
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I remember the “bear from creedmoor” I think he lived in the Ukarine and was unfortunately niftar a few years book. I thought he was very funny and added a lot of humor to the CR.
Can not verify if it is true, but a couple asked for their picture to be taken off, and they were told they had to pay the site to take it down. I think that some form of blackmail.
Honestly the Simcha sites should only post pictures with direct permission from the Couple. I am sure a vast majority of the pictured couples would never agree to have their pictures posted on the simcha sites. Those pictures will be on the web forever.
NY Public schools are off this week for some reason. Expect those children to be around.
You may have seen kosher for Pesach Imitation soy sauce, but did you ever taste it??!! Yuck, bought it once, will not buy again. We can live with out it for a week.
Should frum children have a public library card? No, they should not. There are many books that are extremely inappropriate for children, even in the children’s section. I learned that lesson many years ago, picking up a seemingly innocent book in the teenage section, and read of subjects that I should not have read about, and wish I never did.
There are Jewish Libraries ask around in more densely jewish neighborhoods. Ask around and you will find them.
While more of the recent Jewish Adult novels coming out are dealing with peoples’s issues or problems. I think and feel if someone knows how to write books, we can use more authors who will write with the proper hashgachas that we as Jews need and want to imbue in our children.
If one lives of town, and there is limited access, to kosher reading material, I think Torah U’Mesorah has a book list of ok reading material that can be used to pick up appropriate titles. But to let a child into a library unsupervised into a public library, with access to any all types of shmutz is inadvisable and asking for trouble. It is like asking someone to to go to a candy store and pick out from candies that does not have a kosher mark on it and let them guess which ones are kosher. Reading inappropriate material is just as bad as eating trief IMHO. They both will effect someone spiritually, and can have negative consequences. As a parent, are you willing to take that chance?? While we can help what we see on the outside world, we as parents are definitely responsible for what we are bringing into our homes. Same way as we have the responiblity to bring in only kosher foods.
Get rid of the resumes. Is it okay, that a boy is given 10 resumes to choose a girl from?? I say to the girls stop giving in resumes. Let the boys deal with each girl as in individual, not as a sheet of paper. I think resumes are cold. We did not have a shidduch “crisis” when we first got married and you can be sure we did not use “resumes” This is not a job, this is looking for ones life partner. Automatically a girl is turned down because of her looks. I think it is horrible and disrespectful to the girls out there. Get rid of the resumes!!
As the mother of a few boys, I say give money. After the last bar mitzvah, we are surrounded by seforim, that will probably will not be opened as we have own quite a few copies of them. We have no additional shelf space and the seforim are in every nook and cranny, in corners all over the house. Let us say, we got swamped but the amount of seforim as gifts. And, no I do not do re-gifting. We appreciated the personalized gifts, like belts, cufflinks, garment bag, travel bag, toiletry bag, robe. Those are some nice ideas, other then seformim.
being that the stores are located n areas with high rents, the stores have got to find a way to make money.` So prices are somewhat higher then other places. Anyway, now is the best time to go shopping as the stores are clearing out their winter merchandise at really good prices.
If the item is refurbished, I would imagine there would be a problem.
This is a topic, that I think should be kept private but since you brought up the topic to the Coffee Room. If you have a Rav, you are close to, then they are the one to express your concerns. It is a sticky situation, but I am sure the Rabbis have heard tons of other situations that could make your seem mild by comparison.
Also, remember, That Hashem gave you the life your in. We do not get to pick our canvas of life out. Trust me, if we had a choice how our lives should go, then we would all be happily married till our old age, healthy children and living comfortably and everything would be just rosy. Remember, that Hashem is in charge and Hashem is the one that you should turn to. Broken hearted and all. Also, find someone who is having a hard time getting married, and pray for them, and I mean constantly. When Hashem sees you are praying for someone else, Hashem will answer you!! Remember Hashem is the one who put you in situation for whatever reason. We won’t know till after 120 to be sure.
There is hope. In the new book A Handful of Stars, there is a story of a girl with various health issues, and somehow got married, even with all the naysayers saying it was not a responsible thing to do.
I am just trying to encourage you and B’H, may you find the person Hashem intended for you and may you do so with Clarity and much Hatzlachah. Remember to have Bitachon. Buy that kallah present now, because you truly trust that Hashem will help find your kallah.
too many new building and not enough parking. Formerly one family homes are knocked down and turned into condos with Dr offices or other offices which brings in more patients and more traffic. Seems like they want to turn parts of Brooklyn into Manhattan.
Would not be surprised, if Obama, caused mass chaos, and declared Martial Law, just to stay in office. It would be right up his alley to do things against the law. He has been doing that his entire presidency for the most part. And the way the people are so stupid, (think what just happened in Canada with the win of Justin Trudeau), in voting liberal democrats, nothing would shock me anymore.
My beef is the organizations that sells donors names. I get bombarded by them. Like, I gave you a donation and did you a favor, now you sell my name?? And now i have to deal with shredding the papers that contain my address? oh and the ones that so “thoughtfully” include shamimos items!! Seriouisly, like I need more shamimos items to get rid of?? I did not ask to receive your “gift”. No I do not need a Birchas Chanukah, or Licht Bentching.
One of the reasons, why I want Moshiach so badly, is because I am so tired of the Goyim, saying that we are not Hashem’s chosen and that we have no right to E”Y. I want so much that they see that Hashem is truly the King and Creator of the Universe. It hurts so much. The bloodshed and hate will end. There will finally be a true peace in the world.
I laughed when I saw the opening thread!! Seriously??!! I know people who never set foot s kitchen until they got married, and somehow turned in to incredible cooks. If a girl can follow directions, she can follow a receipe (unless the receipe was written incorrectly). If you are so worried maybe include in the must have credentials you want in a girl, is one who is trained in a culinary school.
And while we are at it, Maybe girls should ask to see the boys room to see if he leaves his clothes on the floor… like his socks.
If the cats are caught and Animal cControl is called to pick them up, they WILL put down the animals, as they do not have the time to try to tame them. Even friendly cats that are taken there are put down, because, they do not have the space or resources to house the thousands of animals that are brought to them. They even post in their infamous kill list, where various groups/people will try to pull them out, but in most cases there are just too many too save.
Sorry you have a problem, the best thing is try to put repellants around. Coffee Grounds, citrus scents, mothballs. Or you get close enough a spray bottle with water. They do not like to get wet.
coffee addict go to the simcha sites, there seems to be chasuna pictures, unless they were take before the 3 weeks and put up after the actual wedding.
Actually looking at the Simcha Sites, I see lots of Ashkenaz names with Wedding pictures during the 3 weeks (except from Rosh Hodesh AV) I do not see any Sephardic names, except for engagements.
Coffee Addict, I am Sephardi and no one I know has weddings during the 3 weeks. There are Sephardim who are more stringent, hard to believe, isn’t it?
No, Sephardim, do not get married during the 3 weeks. Sephardim do not listen to music during the 3 weeks. Do not know where you got that information. I have never heard of any Sephardi get married during the 3 weeks. There may be an engagements, but no music, of course.
During the 9 days, no meat. and for the other things like showering and laundry, Sephardim hold Sh’vuah Sha Hal Bo. Since Tisha B’Av falls on a Sunday, there is no week, this year. So it is permitted for Sephardim to shower, and do laundry this week.
letakein, it has happened a few times, you just do not hear about those things. Especially in the Goyishe world from 50 years back, when men would be embarassed to express the true feelings. Yes, they married and had families. Now that they are out of the closet, it is not as common. Unfortunately now,they marry each other and use surrogates if they want children. There is no shame anymore.
Looks like she is really pushing her “luck” here. (pun intended) You do know 77 is the Gematria for Mazal, wink, wink, so whose luck is she trying to change, the cat, hers, or yours?? Because after 77, either, you will end up hating the cat or will never want to part from it.
Cats(and all animals) are a responsibility. Are you prepared for the vet bills. Are you getting it already altered? Because halachically you may not alter an animal. You can obtain one already altered from a shelter like Bideawee. It would be irresponsible to bring a cat in and her have kittens. There are already too many. And trust that shelters do not need anymore. They will euthanize any cat brought to them, even if it sneezes. Cats have a need to scratch things. Male cats will spray to mark their terroritory. Then there is the litter box to clean up. Making sure to feed the animal before yourselves, Not touching an animal on Shabbos. davening with the animal in the room.
If you are in the States, some people have had luck with Lord & Taylor. Macy’s, or David’s bridal. Try finding a shell in a matching color if it is sleeveless or the neckline is too low. You can take a plain gown and embellish it yourself, if you are handy. Go to a trimming store and get a rhinestone belt or adding lace to the sleeves and hem will do wonders. Maybe go with a friend who has a good eye for these things helps. Or if you are not a sewer, maybe a tailor can help you fancy up the gown. Hatzlachah in your search.
That’s what I thought, unless this 16 year old has a degree I thougth it was outrageous that her father thinks she should be paid $750.00. The father has no idea, what a mothers helper get paid. Sorry they do not get paid in that bracket, ever, even if the family well-to-do.
Maybe an adult professional with years of experience and 100 degrees in the subject and is physical therapist. Guess she needed an awakening, in the matters of the pay of teenagers, particularly summer jobs. I am sure if the original poster won’t accept the amount offered, they will find another girl who will gladly take that $200 weekly amount and make a few hundred dollars for the summer.
In most case, people usually hire a young girl to be a mothers helper, are looking for cheap labor. I don’t think, even if they are well to do, they would pay $750 a week. I am sure, even their housekeepers don’t make that amount in a week, and if they do, let me know cuz I wish I could make that amount in a week. Seriously, they could just hire a someone, who will do the cleaning and babysitting for at least half that price, and still be a live-in. I think your father should be realistic in what he should be expecting a young girl as a mothers helper should be earning. In most cases it is peanuts. The families that hire mothers helper look at this way, that the girls should be happy they get to go away for the summer.
I remember I was a mothers helper, way back when, I could not believe what I got paid, it was nothing to write home about, and after hours if someone else needed me, they paid $1.00 an hour. I have no idea what today’s going rate for a mothers helper is today though. I think maybe ask your friends to see what they got paid.
Nowadays teenagers in camp hardly get paid, for the job they do, unless they luck out and get youth corp.
Basically it is cheap labor, and in some camps, the CIT’s have to pay for the “priviledge” to work in a camp. Never could understand why someone would want to pay to be a CIT. I just think it is taking advantage of kids.
May I suggest, that all please try to listen to the Speeches of the Shloshim in Brooklyn, at learntorah.com. I have just listened to them and have been awestruck. B’ezras Hashem, may we all grow closer to each other from this tragedy that has impacted us all.
sweetie, find a Rabbi or teacher your parents respect, talk to that person and sit down together with you parents and discuss what goals you would like to accomplish in your life. I would not call your parents controlling, as your parents do love you and have your best interests at heart. Otherwise, if they did not care, they would leave you to your own devices. Your parents have life experience under their belt. They have seen things in their lifetime that they want to protect you from. Unfortunately, the only way to truly give a child independence is to let them make mistakes and learn from them. Mistakes do have a purpose in life, in that they let you learn from them and let you grow, hopefully, a little more wiser.
Thanks for starting this thread, as I see this is a problem and it has been bothering me for sometime. If you have made a simcha, you WILL be left with tons of bentchers. Most people do not want to take the bentchers home anymore. After making 2 bar mitzvahs, I had about 75 leftover from each party, (mind you we only ordered 100 per Bar Mitzvah. ) I am now left with 150 bentchers from our boys, not including the hundred accumulated through out the years, so it is probable, I have 300 hundred bentchers in my home. Of course, no one else wants them. My only recourse to dispose of them is to eventually give them to Genizah,I beg my family do not dare bring home any bentchers from any occasions they go to. I really think, that Gemachs are needed to prevent the needless amounts of Genizah, this is causing. I feel bad for those in the business, but sad to say, most of those bentchers will be put in Genizah.
too many cooks spoil the broth.
Oh, goody, give them more money to re-arm themselves, and buy more concrete!! Want to know what I think?? I think we see the goal of the so called president. He is not to be relied on, and Hashem is showing us, who to really trust, and it sure is not something made of flesh and blood!! No more pandering. This is not going to end anytime soon. The Muslimes will feel empowered by this and more money only helps their cause.
I have heard of this seguloh as well, although in this case the wine poured for the 10 makos is used, not the Kos Shel Eliyahu.
I posted this earlier about my theory about the missing plane. If the Iranians have a hand in this, and I think they do. I think the plane will be used against Israel. The Iranians could possibly load the plane with a bomb and the innocent passengers, and have the plane flown to Israel. Israel will, unfortunately have to shoot the plane down, or risk suicide. Of course, the world will condemn Israel, for, heaven forbid, trying to protect herself, because, of course, that is unacceptable for Israel to do that. The world will now come against Israel, and there you will have the start of Gog & Magog. So, like I said, this is my theory. Hope I am wrong.
Guess, this person is still at it. A relative of mine was just paying a shiva call, and this man, no one knew, came in a threw a pen. I guess he gets the addresses from Misakim’s list.
On a side note, I am wary of the list being made public. While it is nice for people to find out information about who was niftar and who is sitting Shiva, there maybe other unwanted solicitations. I remember when I sat shiva, people came to drop off tzedakah pushkahs for their causes, leaving no room on the table for causes that were known to us. I don’t think it is right that some people do that. I had one that said for Yesomim and vistors assumed that it was for the family, but we honestly had no idea who left it. Then there was someone else who left a box, and sent a kid in to pick it up after the shiva was over. Again, no idea who this person/organization is/are.
You can always, open a window, and take the TV and drop it outside. Just make sure, no one is in the way. Or if that is too messy, just take it outside and place it by the curb, it should be gone in the morning.
Maybe the OP should say “Were we all middle eastern once?” considering the term “Sephardic” or “Sephard” refers to coming from Spain.
Don’t Hatzalah members have to be married prior to joining? I thought singles were not accepted.
cr10, sorry to inform, but the Forefathers, were not Sephardi, unless somehow, they were from Spain. and if you are truly Sephardi as you say, you are, then you will know, that there were Jews in Aleppo, who never set foot in Spain and lived there for hundreds of years. The jews from Spain who fled to Syria, actually for many years, the Halabi jews did not even intermarry with the newly arrived Spanish Jews for a good while. After the Inquistion, jews were dispersed everywhere, even to European countries. There are many Ashkenazim, who are actually from Spain, and hence are Sephardim, but gradually took on the customes of the communities, they settled in. So if you want to you that argument against the Shadachanim, then by all means, but please do not say the ForeFathers were Sephardi. And if the Ashkenazi Shadachnim won’t deal with you and you are from Lakewood and say there are many other Sephardi’s in Lakewood, why don’t you find out if there are Sephardi Shadchanim in Lakewood?? instead of beating up on the Askenazim there. Do you think the Sephardi Shadchanim in Brooklyn, make shiddichim for Askenazim?? Seriously, if you think there is a problem, then fix, it. Be Makom, sh’ein Ish, Hishtadal L’Hiyos Ish. meaning in a place that there isn’t a man, then strive to be one. Why don’t you get together with your other Sephardi friends, one afternoon, and sit down with lists of all the singles you know and start setting people up. If you are not getting anywhere, maybe it’s time to take matters in to your own hands??!! or better yet, find out Sephardi Shadchanim in Brooklyn. If you want Sephardi yeshivish, then look into other communities. There are so many young Sephardi couples moving to Lakewood, practically every week. If you want to help your child get married, find these newlyweds in shuls and ask who set THEM up? Obviously, somebody DID!! Get names and call and call.
And from what I am reading on other threads, the Seminaries telling girls, to marry only kollel boys are not helping, the situation, either. Seminaries, need to tell the girls, that boys who work are not bad and that it is a mitzvah for a man to take care of his wife and children. I also think parents need to sit down with their daughters, that should also consider dating a working boy and not turn down a shidduch just because the boy is working. Also, if parents made their girls realize the expenses, involved, even for the necessities, of what things cost nowadays, their eyes might be a little more open, especially, when told, Mommy and Daddy, can not help out.