Mammele

some have a mesora to eat gefilte fish on Shabbos… And Shabbos morning: eggs with onion and liver… And chulent… And of course, let’s not forget about Challah. So using challah (which ZD hopefully isn’t disgusted by) as the analogy — while one may eat a loaf of bread or a croissant at each meal instead, many find it not Shabbos’dik. I’m not about to designate food as holy because what do I know, but ZD was definitely not so innocent with his GF & chopped liver bashing. So this was a controversial thread except that nobody took the bait. Ouch, I just did.

And nobody mentioned Shabbos, which is usually when GF and chopped liver are eaten so making fun of it seemed less antagonistic.

Salmon gefilte fish is actually good with mayo, although it’s probably better with “chrayonnaise”.

Apparently nobody got Nisht’s joke as 147 had both variations of “Yahrtzeit” in one post.

edited

And I’m postulating that this is not lying for Sholom because the risk is greater that lying here will bring acrimony rather than peace.

Even if a few minute trip home from local shopping would be the same as a 25 minute ride, which it’s obviously not, the former was A ONE TIME OCCURENCE.

And the kugel was probably not allowed for health reasons, which again maybe wasn’t the best choice but a far cry from covering up and undermining a marriage.

I know people that don’t tell their spouse everywhere they go (innocent places) to prevent criticism (“oh, you went to this and this function, Chezky could have used your help with Gemara tonight.”) Personally, I don’t think that’s a good idea, but understandable.

But covering up an ongoing situation that may escalate dangerously is a recipe for marital disaster, and IT WILL BLOW UP WHEN SHE FINDS OUT even if “nothing happens”. Just simply the fact that he didn’t tell her will make her suspicious. I can’t believe posters here are advocating it. That’s the opposite of common sense.

Question: in my machzor “techina” for licht bentchen of Shmini Atzeres it says (beZchus) women coming to Shul to kiss the Sefer Torah.

Anybody’s Shul still has women do that (at the one’s I frequent I’ve never seen it)? And if a Shul does give women a chance to kiss the Torah, I’d assume having separate dancing without a Torah would be a step down and away from the Minhag. — which everyone here seems to agree that there is none regarding women and Simchas Torah regarding dancing etc.

I didn’t specifically mention Yiddish names but was referring to Jewish names. The question is whether they use the name regularly, not if they were given one at birth or not.

Throwing something new into the mix, what’s the official MO stance regarding Shem, Loshen and Malbush as being the reason Yidden were redeemed from Mitrzrayim even before they had the Torah? Among all the arguments about Halacha, this has been mostly glossed over here (some mentions of tznios, but only about women, not beards etc.).

Chasidim are obviously more “into these 3” but I believe one of the reasons for the high OTD rate among the MO (if true) is that they can blend in too easily into American culture so unfortunately many find it hard to “stand their ground” in Yiddishkeit. Being outwardly Jewish can be a matter of pride and even among weaker ones, be a reason to say for example, I can’t eat this, I’m Jewish and keep kosher, or at least be embarrassed enough to eat treif or openly desecrate Shabbos.

Wolfish: one is actually supposed to avoid nisyonos, so becoming more social in Shul as per your scenario is the opposite of what we are supposed to do.

I remember learning (way back in school) that one should imagine being in a situation where literal mesiras nefesh is required and further imagine oneself passing the test. Basically we tell Hashem — and ourself by reinforcing our beliefs– that this is how I would act if tested. This can probably be applied to most of the aviros you mention, so play a historic scenario in your mind if it’s not relevant today and pass with flying colors.

I wouldn’t expect the schar to be the same, but definitely enough to say I haven’t done x without feeling hypocritical.

If you have long engagements this problem is moot.

Look at many chasidim with long engagements and the couple living where the Kallah lives. No freezer anywhere in sight. And no girls Shidduch crisis either – one of the reasons for the long engagements — no one is so desperate to finally get married, and many boys are actually still too young so they drag out the engagement.

And most teachers teach half a day only, so despite tons of prep especially the first year they can try to get additional part time employment — which needs to be considered when looking at their salaries although it remains petty.

I frankly think this guys mother was a bit harsh with her son.

Ask anyone at any age if they can G-d forbid deal with such a challenge and the answer will likely be no. Yet when someone is unfortunately thrown such a curveball they usually get on board and somehow manage to deal with it.

It may take a while but shy people gain confidence to talk to doctors, make decisions and grow from the experience. Of course, especially in the beginning they will need medical advice, chizuk etc. but eventually they get a handle on the situation.

Even something as simple as asking for help takes maturity and shows one is realistic as to his capabilities. Unfortunately some people do break down — but I wouldn’t pin it on age as much as on emotional strength/bitachon and of course siata dishmaya, which we all need at every age even when the going is smooth.

If someone chas vasholam gets sick himself, married or not, is he prepared to deal with it? So maybe he should have never been born? My point is we hope to never be challenged like this but it’s not up to us to plan and be fully prepared for every worst case scenario.

Actually APY it seems there’s only one that’s known simply as Camp Bnos. And here it is in all its glory http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/girls-camps-1

WS: I think you’re right on. Very often I don’t write stuff simply because it may be possible to identify me through my posts, especially in the context of other things I’ve posted.

Perhaps a mod can put the names through with the mod’s screen name listed as the poster instead of the actual requester’s. Would partially protect the privacy of the submitter. So for example if DY (btw that was only slightly funny…) wants to send his name in and it’s Moshe Ben Surah we will all know that Moshe Ben Surah is a poster here (no idea as to the frequency etc.) but not that his name here is DY.

If someone has a really unique name / doesn’t trust the moderators’ discretion either / simply doesn’t want his name posted in this format he might want to abstain.

As a side note, the frum population in Monsey/Spring Valley has a lower percentage of special Ed kids than the general population does, I don’t recall the numbers off-hand.

My point is that all factors effecting the cost of special Ed should be considered, whether positively or negatively before throwing around numbers to the tune of “millions of dollars”. We are not such suckers…

Additionally, I don’t think the quality of the education for in house public school children with Down’s Syndrome is comparable to KJ UFSD, so we’re not exactly comparing apples to apples. KJ specializes while public schools are kind of the jack of all trades.

There are many hotels that are specifically Shabbos friendly. It boggles the mind why a development with existing shomer Shabbos tenants should be so insensitive.

They’re suing the landlord, American style. Hopefully this was used as a last resort and should do the trick.

I always thought the “inyan” if true, is that babies shouldn’t look in the mirror before one year of age because their reflection can confuse them.

Sam: IIRC you were the one who tried to avoid music at dinner time. With all due respect, IMHO something has caused you to become more cynical lately and it would be wise for you to address (not here) whatever it is. If I’m wrong I beg your mechilah, as I don’t want to hurt you and don’t know you IRL to care one way or another, just thought perhaps you are unaware.

Regarding Haagen Daazs you don’t honestly think that even if Chalav Stam is okay, every Yid needs to taste every Kosher food/ ice cream out there in order to follow the dictum of enjoying Hashem’s world?

Aren’t they opposites?

All I’m saying is that now that same gender is okay — as long as they are consenting — earlier in this thread there were comments about where this can lead to, mostly about whether polygamy will now be allowed, and siblings, cousins etc. marrying legally throughout the U.S.

The concept of polyandry wasn’t addressed, and among all the crazies out there and women wanting to feel empowered I’m sure it will come up and be practiced. — another nail in the coffin of this society.

One more thing: if museums can request a no photograph rule (sometimes with the excuse that a camera flash can damage their precious objects?) a Yiddishe simcha and couple surely have more “value” and can take “security precautions” necessary by requesting and hopefully enforcing a “no publishing rule”.

Halevi: you do realize the distinction of giving back some land versus giving back the WHOLE LAND which Satmar Rebbe was against (sort of)? He actually said we need to Daven for Moshiach as that’s best solution but it doesn’t necessarily mean he’d oppose negotiations involving land like the Lubavitcher Rebbe did.

ZD: photos of your kids or someone else’s?

Sam: I believe there’s a difference in Tznius for a woman to be seen at one’s own event, mainly invited guests for a limited time versus posting a photo online for a much broader audience for posterity. That’s where “Hinei Be’Ohel” comes into play.

Also, at an event one can’t “ogle” without looking weird and the subject is likely “a moving target” whereas online people can stare for as long as they wish without any oversight.

It’s unfortunately also possible to edit photos or add critical comments and forward it. Hopefully not the norm but still a possibility and reason one might not want her photo out there.

And it can be argued by say someone of the Ger Chasidus that because of Tznius couples shouldn’t be seen together at all, which would preclude their own wedding, but perhaps not in photos afterwards.

ZD: Funny, you just said something similar in another thread about an article I recommended instead of debating it on its merits…

At least Joseph is telling us why it’s not believable — it’s common knowledge Belze Chasidish women don’t drive.