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If we’re defining Minhag Chasam Sofer as Oberland, don’t forget about the Minhag of married women to shave their hair — which is erroneously labeled by some as a strictly Chasidishe Minhag. Never heard of Yekkes doing that but I could be wrong.
Sorry I misunderood you
Ca: of course it is. We say ani Mamin shezos Hatorah lo sehei mochlefes…
Now did our Rabbis allow certain things under duress, (example kitniyos during famine–which is not min Hatorah but was enforced by Ashkenazim) yes. But these guys are coming from a non Jewish standpoint, trying to change the Torah to suit their liberal values. And not because there’s this pressing need, just change for the sake of becoming like the secular liberals, and perhaps satisfy a few hard core feminists.
Most frum women are understanding and happy with their roles in Yiddishkeit, and of those that aren’t it’s mostly because they’ve been exposed to non-Jewish influences. That’s not shas hadchak. Shabbos for example may be harder to keep than women not being Rabbis, but we preserve it.
Goq: Bed-stuy is pretty up and coming. So while it may vary by block etc. I wouldn’t consider it cheaper than BP or Flatbush – it may very well be more expensive and not the area the OP is interested in.
BDE: Sudden Petira Of Itzhak Schier, 47, Z”L – Frequent Commenter On YWN
The above user name 600 kilo bear (without the a) is not in the linked OP somehow, but I believe it’s the same
Barry: just noticed your reply to 600 kilo bear. Sadly he is no longer alive, nor was he when you responded to him. Kind of creepy.
Hopefully no peddling in Gan Eden… May he rest in peace.
DY: why wouldn’t you grant the benefit of the doubt to Health that he believes the Satmar/Brisk shittah is the truth? And if someone is raised Satmar would you also contend he believes this way because he prefers extremes?
As it happens the derech shelo derech of being against Zionism yet benefiting and voting is something that even the ardent Zionists here see through and correctly label Zionism. And money definitely blinds hence you see how this “shittah” is slowly evolving into true Zionism. It’s a slippery slope. Do you for example honestly believe Litzman should have taken the Health Minister position?
ZD: why all of a sudden can there be only one Posek/Psak instead of Eilu veilu? If my Rabbi and other great Rabbis don’t allow mixed gender elementary classes will you cede to my Rabbi’s ruling?
I once heard that you can determine a song’s status by how one shakes to the beat. So if you’re only inspired to tap your toes to Mozart it seems pretty benign versus rap. Don’t know if it’s a perfect barometer but you get the idea.
Nobody rushes to send out search parties especially if no description can be given of the boy. The way the announcement was worded the boy wasn’t even asked to come to the security booth but to a given spot, so Security wouldn’t even know when he was found.
I agree it’s a bad idea but let’s be realistic.
DY: who was your last comment directed at?
Whether one has a pear shaped or apple shaped (fatter midsection) body which I’d assume effects pants size is determined largely by genetics. In any case the latter is at greater risk of getting heart disease and diabetes. Since we can’t manipulate genes to change fat storage placement at this time the “Apple type” that are overweight need to lose the extra weight ASAP to remain healthy bezras Hashem.
Although I won’t blame Chulent specifically as it’s actually a HEALTHY food unless you overload it with fatty meats or potatoes, many frum men are indeed overweight. In this case tzuros rabbim is not a nechama as everyone with weight related health problems will need to contend with them ON HIS OWN.
Based on no relevant statistics for comparison, and since the American percentage of the population that’s obese is high and climbing further, I think everyone should use their scale & BMI as a barometer and not sugar coat (pun intended) the reality.
However ZD be aware that sushi is generally more harmful to the waistline than chulent.
Eating ANYTHING when full after a meal goes well beyond what the Rambam recommends, so overeating is not a Jewish middah. We have to get back to our mesora and stop the madness — easier said than done obviously.
Gavra: I think 50/50 with a mortgage for the couple is more like it. At least in the Chasidishe velt girls do not need to “buy” a choson. I’m sure there are exceptions, but it’s not the norm.
In fact, at least in the US, Chasidishe girls have an easier time finding a shidduch and can save some money if working to help cover wedding expenses.
4) Special K
Sam2: you are naively assuming that Jewish magazines routinely ask permission from those appearing in photos before publishing it. Same goes for Internet websites.
Why do you think it would be any different if it involves women?
Thanks Sam for your honesty.
I don’t see why an engagement announcement must be accompanied by a photo, no hiding necessary. In any case, can we agree that publicizing photos of women have the potential to be more harmful than productive?
Why is it masked as a woman’s rights issue when many women in our circles do not want to be so public? If we print only photos of non Jewish women they should feel offended for being singled out…
Sam2 personal question: when you iy”h get engaged, would you prefer your Choson Kallah picture be posted on the Jewish Simcha sites? Why or why not?
Of course you don’t have to answer but I’d really like to hear your take on this in a practical sense.
ZD: “People are assuming that places that would consider hiring a YCT clergyperson would obey the Moetzes after such a decree, which in most if not all circumstances is not the case.”
As Yidden we believe that EVERY SINGLE NEFESH is precious, and likened to an entire world. So even if your point is true, on the off chance that ONE SHUL OF YIDDEN can be saved from straying the Kol Korah was more than worth it.
As the Satmar Rebbe zt”l used to say “men darf tun, nisht auftun”, or since you prefer Hebrew, as the Mishna in Pirkei Avos states ??? ???? ?????? ?????? we show Hashem we tried and don’t worry about completion. Shleimus is Hashem’s domain.
“And if it hurts, one cries out” no Cheshbonos necessary.
Moreover, mussar in general is said not just for the recipient, but so that we ourselves should internalize the message “this is not okay”. ( I think I heard it about protesting against shopkeepers that were mechalell Shabbos here in the US, even though most likely nothing will be accomplished).
And that’s the main reason here: to fortify our Machne and our future generations. By having it in writing as a Kol Korah we strengthen the message for those that do care about Yiddishkeit. “And we choose life”.
ZD: stop being delusional. These people are coming from an Orthodox background and are CHOOSING TO “MODERNIZE” Yiddishkeit. However, because their Rabbis designed this movement as an attempt to “kosher the chazir fissel” some are soothing their soul by deluding themselves into believing that it’s truly Kosher.
Thanks Syag for being a voice of reason.
How sad. So would you object to a Kol Korah for example against the celebrity Kabalah craze if it were gaining steam within Orthodoxy or would you complain it’s too harsh?
Maybe some posters here are poking fun (which it can be argued is okay similar to ” litzonos d’avoda zorah”) but ZDs original objection was to the Kol Korah itself, with old arguments of everything is perfect in their Machne already and showing ahavos Yisroel no matter the price.
Sometimes tough love is the right approach.
The latter.
An extreme scenario OTOH, which I remember hearing but can’t verify, is of someone trying to promote the Sheva mitzvah bnei Noach and unfortunately completely abandoning Yiddishkeit for Christianity.
ZD: it’s not just about “catching flies? it’s about self preservation. For example, some argue that Chabad because of their outreach, is losing some of its members to different streams. This especially effects youngsters exposed to all levels of observance not yet mature and strong enough.
I’m still scratching my head over week old deli “ostensibly being cooked for Pesach”. But I guess PBAs threads don’t need to make sense…
Sorry for using the wrong gender. But most likely, since Titus was a nudnik this morning, that she’s female. I won’t elaborate further about female mosquitos since I’m still a chauvinistic woman…
Now I probably need to go into hiding too…
Be careful eclipse. Titus just went into hiding. And if he’s a mosquito he may enjoy you for his midnight meal. Don’t say you weren’t warned.
Are you talking about the Challah? I think most things can be cooked/baked properly if done right.
And if you meant challah, it is braided and long so I’d assume it’s not that hard to get the inside baked. You’d probably need to lower the temperature or even shut the oven heat completely intermittently to prevent the crust from becoming burnt while the inside stays “doughy”. Maybe not easy for a novice, but possible with the right oven and expertise.
Perhaps. But you get “bigger portions”. And everything is relative.
I’m not an expert chef but you need to be more specific.
Not really. Low temp cooking/baking.
Maybe Dorf’s Meshugener? And as subtitle – Don’t mess with me!
I’d like to publicly apologize and beg mechila from DY for accusing him of lying. Apparently I’m the one with the bad memory…
That being said I think Veltz M. should get a new subtitle, I mean screen name, as he obviously disagrees with both.
Any suggestions?
Lol…
I can’t believe the Mighty Mods can’t “audit” a thread or have transcripts of those vital subtitle changes.
Thank G-d Cholera Chaim only exists in our modern day “advanced” spell-checkers…
I hereby request a trial by jury….
How about ??? ??? ???? ????
I think we don’t really need a source, although I’m sure there’s a better one than the above, but we have most likely all been Guinea pigs…
I’ve read elsewhere that it was a mock-up on college campuses in the seventies to promote equality — yet most of the text is probably from a magazine in the 1880s. They also mention that dryers were not common in the 50s — which is something that also gave me pause when I read it here. (The washer dryer part was added in the mockup.)
And the photo with the article is from a different magazine cover in 1957– two years after the rules supposedly appeared.
Joseph, you don’t help your cause when you actually expect women to take off their husband’s shoes, which IIRC even an Eved shouldn’t be asked to do.
We can all improve in our spousal duties, but we should look for Jewish sources and be realistic.
Actually raw vegetables can also cause food borne illness if it became contaminated. Even spices were found to have salmonella. Perhaps we should starve?
ZD: the reason cigarette companies came out with brands targeting women was because most women weren’t smoking the “regular stuff”. Of course they would try to maximize their market share, and women are 50% of the potential market. Which proves exactly the opposite of what you are trying to convey.
So historically speaking you’re wrong but maybe nowadays the distinction has shifted, as it has elsewhere.
Joseph: the second time you hear something that you’ve forgotten it “still rings a bell”. So we might have an easier learning curve…
Truthfully though I believe it’s more of a cultural thing, where learning for the sake of learning is appreciated and encouraged. We start learning early and and never stop. Even in the secular Jewish world the concept of education is extolled more than in many other cultures.
The funny thing is that IQ is supposed to measure intelligence and not knowledge, but it’s hard to separate the two when testing, and learning teaches one to think critically.
Thanks 555.
One more point mty: if you are REALLY feeling drained by all the rejections you can simply ask the Shadchan to suggest it to the girl’s side first. No yes or no necessary from you at this point. It sort of contradicts what I said earlier but will preserve your sanity. Hatzlacha!
MA have you given up? Why the cynicism? Just a bit of rebuke, one of the reasons you feel like you’re talking to the walls is that you’re too negative. Gefen’s post emphasizing Tefillah somehow seems more uplifting. Is it just me?
In any case rebuke must be given in a form that’s palatable to the listeners. If it’s falling on deaf ears reassess your timing, tone and message.
Thanks 29 that was quick. I guess we were both wrong.
Don’t worry DY I knew you were kidding, and being chauvinistic I don’t get offended so easily…
And my joke that was modded referenced an actual psychological diagnosis which I used in jest, against someone ” not Yeshivish” in the CR. So although I thought it was innocuous at the time he might have gotten offended – so the mods erred on the side of caution. I was however caught off-guard and questioned my sensitivity to others when it happened.
Basically the question is, when is a joke not funny to the one it’s about?
I don’t know if this is what you’re looking for but we refer to it as ????? ???????.
You really have to take the fear of rejectection out of the equation. I’m going with the assumption that the yes or no is for a date, not marriage, so correct me if I’m wrong.
If after doing your research the girl seems like a good candidate/match then definitely say yes, and let the chips fall where they may – or as you consider calling it “play G-d” (not so apt, IMHO). If however you KNOW that this girl is looking for “Moshe Rabeinu” and your son obviously isn’t, you can ask the Shadchan his/her opinion of why he/she thinks it might work. Perhaps this girl is not such a “big shot” after all, otherwise it wouldn’t have been suggested. If the Shadchen backs off after the question then so can you. If not, it would be wise of you to say yes and remember that each suggestion brings you closer to the right one. Most importantly bear in mind (and repeat to your son) that all you need is THE ONE to agree, and thank Hashem for all the rejections as they are actually making the agonizing decision process a whole lot easier for you. Hatzlacha!
And definitely saying yes (despite there being a good chance of getting back a no) if you genuinely feel it’s a good thing does not demonstrate a lack of bitachon. Just the opposite, it shows that you are doing your hishtadlus, yet are leaving the reins in Hashem’s hands.
Lol DY. I actually googled it to see if it’s even possible for a female to be a chauvinist as I’ve never seen it used this way. Turns out you’re almost always right… But now I wonder why my joke about someone’s personality was recently “modded” and yours went through. I’m seriously considering becoming offended about that…
Truthfully though I really think his subtitle is fairly recent, so can we have a vote here as to how old Veltz’s current subtitle is? (Hopefully the Mods will bestow us with the correct answer down the road.)
A) less than two weeks
B) more than two weeks but less than two months
C) more than 2 months but less than a year
D) a year or more
E) none of the above (have to put this is in for it to be a true multiple choice…)
I vote A.
Actually, I think DY is lying to get you to submit… It’s fairly recent IIRC. In any case even without your subtitle the Mods were agreeing to it by allowing your username in the first place.
In life there’s a klal that many people go by: I may criticize/belittle myself, but if someone else dare say the same the about me I get offended. However, the Chofetz Chaim teaches otherwise – no loshon hora against oneself. Bottom line you have yourself to blame for your lofty subtitle.
Arab minim? Abolished on Shabbos? Oh my…
What about vitamin D supplements?
RY: You actually made this or are just stirring the pot?
Because most Jewish women going back hundreds of years were smarter than the men and didn’t get hooked on tobacco… And still are.